GAYDAR TEST  5:12 pm June 1, 2010

Is GOP Senate Candidate Mark Kirk a Secret Gay Homosexual?

by Ken Layne

I'm coming out, I want the world to know, got to let it show ....How many days since the last prominent anti-Gay Republican got outed as a Secret Homosexual? Several! So it’s time to report on the latest gay-hypocrite rumors, this time about Illinois Republican Mark Kirk, who is running for Barack Obama’s old Senate seat from Illinois. According to a blogger who “outs” the closeted gay Republicans who vote against the interests/rights of gay people, Mark Kirk prefers his sexytime with other gay men. But Kirk has already denied this, to the Politico even, so let’s just take him at his word and put these scurrilous rumors to rest. [TowelRoad/OnTop]

 
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{ 84 comments }

facehead June 1, 2010 at 5:16 pm

Can we nuke him from orbit too?

Native of SL UT June 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Wasn’t this guy some kind of war hero and Time Magazine’s 2006 Person of the Year too?

bago June 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm

He’s one to “plug the damn hole”.

ManchuCandidate June 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm

[re=588798]facehead[/re]:
Don’t need to. He’s doing a great job nuking himself.

nappyduggs June 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Is there some study that correlates the vehemence of homosexual denial, self-loathing, and tendency towards kink? Knowing a little of his track record coupled with his “wilting flower” looks leads one to believe he is somewhere between “Russian Salad” parties and heavy fisting of the ol’ rusty bullet hole.

Bearbloke June 1, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I think Kirk’s newest campaign advert says it all…

ttommyunger June 1, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I asked him personally at a fund raiser last week. He said “Kiss me and I’ll tell you!” He later added “It isn’t gay if you don’t give a reach-around>”

What Fresh Hell is This? June 1, 2010 at 5:23 pm

He looks damned spritely. Can spritely people serve in the Senate?

Snarkalicious June 1, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Candidate is consistent: Only does white, protestant, land owning males.

bitchincamaro June 1, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Let’s see him wriggle out of this one.

Berkeley Bear June 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Kirk’s having a rough week, between this and being exposed as a serial liar about his military exploits and all. Where’s Lindsay Graham to console a hurting man in uniform when you need him?

Also, what is it with two of the more effeminate dudes on the Hill being high ranking Reservists? Is this optional or mandatory, and, if the latter, has anyone told Charlie Crist?

lochnessmonster June 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Should this alleged allegation prove to be true, I always thought there was something “off” about the guy ever since he began in politics…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

PS: Do I want to know what that white stuff is coming out of his mouth?

YRUretarded June 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Omg, Wonkette! You are so gross. But at least you didn’t post about the herpes infested candidate running for treasurer in South Carolina.

user-of-owls June 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Not to read anything into it, but his campaign is being sued for unauthorized used of copyrighted music by The Weather Girls.

gurukalehuru June 1, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Dana Carvey is so back.

user-of-owls June 1, 2010 at 5:29 pm

[re=588810]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]:

LOU GRANT: Are you spritely? I hate spritely.

thehelveticascenario June 1, 2010 at 5:29 pm

[re=588810]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: They’re delegated to the House, e.g. Kucinich. But if you’ve only got a spritely name like Elwyn Tinklenberg, you’re out.

Bearbloke June 1, 2010 at 5:29 pm

[re=588806]nappyduggs[/re]: Die Partei ReThuglikanischer keeps membership rolls, right? There’s your study!

[re=588810]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Only if they wipe the cumm from their lips before taking their Official portraits…

Buzz Feedback June 1, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Gentleman’s Relish is the Official Condiment of the GOP.

slappypaddy June 1, 2010 at 5:35 pm

looks eager to please. fresh meat! fresh meat!

ZombieRichardFeynman June 1, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Weigh his loafers.

ph7 June 1, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Cute ex-wife. Married at 40, divorced by 49. I’m assuming the marriage coincided with entering politics.

Clankie June 1, 2010 at 5:36 pm

That blogger has a fairly convincing argument, even more convincing that the Charlie Crist “Good God look at how totally gheyballz that guy is” argument. That said, you cannot tell from the photograph that Kirk is gay, you can just tell that he likes it in the butt. Which would explain his 9 year childless marriage.

rafflesinc June 1, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Hmm. Am I the first one to notice the cum dripping out of the right (his left) corner of his mouth?

RoscoePColtraine June 1, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Being a GOPer would have definitely thrown me off this man’s gay scent, if only he’d voted to allow the most rabid of closet cases to beat the shit out of out-and-proud-homos without being accused of hate. Because, why not?

rafflesinc June 1, 2010 at 5:39 pm

[re=588822]Bearbloke[/re]: Ah.

Apocalyptic Supermarket June 1, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Riggling peenisez. Ur doin it rite!

Extemporanus June 1, 2010 at 5:45 pm

A senator’s semen is a fucking valuable thing — you just don’t give it away for nothing!

sardonica June 1, 2010 at 5:48 pm

He does have a serious case of gayface, but I can’t help but think that he’d have had his teeth whitened before that photo was taken, if he were indeed gay.

mocowbell June 1, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Someone hand that man a Kleenex.

dijetlo June 1, 2010 at 5:52 pm

He’s was an orifice in the Navy so it’s really just a question of which is he into, rum, sodomy or the lash.
Or perhaps which combination of the three.

Bearbloke June 1, 2010 at 6:04 pm

[re=588828]rafflesinc[/re]: No.

[re=588838]dijetlo[/re]: I’ll confer with my Senior-Bear on how the Royal Navy combines them all…

{Just barely] on the topic of sekrit ghey homersekualls, how can one overlook the searing passions of the Kirk/Spock relationship?..

Clankie June 1, 2010 at 6:05 pm

[re=588838]dijetlo[/re]: I thought that the Navy was about all three, taken together or in the course of an afternoon/evening. On a personal note, as a gay 20something, I had a ‘serious’ relationship with a guy several years my junior, after which he decided that he was heterosexual. He then dropped out of college and joined the Navy. True story.

Hemp Dogbane June 1, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Out: Miranda
In: Self-loathing

El Pinche June 1, 2010 at 6:08 pm

[re=588826]ph7[/re]: and entering rentboys.

chascates June 1, 2010 at 6:09 pm

What is his ‘stance’ on junk shot, top hat, top kill, and tromboning?

El Pinche June 1, 2010 at 6:10 pm

[re=588838]dijetlo[/re]: This is the second story I read about a giant sinkhole today.

lawrenceofthedesert June 1, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Just because Markie was out for dinner and dancing with former Gov. “Big Jim” Thompson, now all the tongues are wagging and wags are tonguing, not necessarily in that order. (Despite four terms in office, Jim never did explain what he was “big” at.)

Neilist June 1, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Gay? A Republican?

Really? Let’s just check the old GayDar . . . .

::::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!:::

Hmmm.

The circuit break might be out. Let’s just re-set the circu ….

:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!!:::

Hmmmm.

Was this thing properly calibrated? The damn needle’s bent itself around the “FAG” post. Let’s try adjusting the range scale from “Closet” to “Flaming.”

:::BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!”

Hmmmm.

What’s the background Homo Radiation reading in here?

FlipOffResearch June 1, 2010 at 6:14 pm

I was about to take Kirk at his word, when I noticed the white smudge on his photo. Now I don’t know. Also, I’ve always lived by the motto WWKD (what would Kirk do) – after Captain Kirk. This news renders my motto ambiguous.

Suds McKenzie June 1, 2010 at 6:19 pm

[re=588854]chascates[/re]: Wide

Berkeley Bear June 1, 2010 at 6:20 pm

[re=588826]ph7[/re]: We have a winner. 16 years on the Hill as a staffer/lobbyist, then decides (on heels of not winning nonexistant NIO of the Year award) that he’s running for Congress from Chicago’s near north side. 9 years of marriage (and him being back in DC while she’s in Illinois) ensue. She actually appeared with him on stage when he announced his run for senate, interestingly enough.

SleeperG June 1, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Let’s see here. It is fair to speculate in the media whether Kirk is gay. No problem. Question whether Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is a lesbian and you are being a slanderous homophobe. Wow, nice to see how this crowd thinks. Democrat/Republican, I don’t care – their sexuality is their business.

sezme June 1, 2010 at 6:36 pm

That photo reminds me of my favourite joke which is about a penguin with car trouble. Skipping to the punchline, the auto mechanic says, “looks like you blew a seal.” To which the penguin replies, “No no, that’s just ice cream.”

slappypaddy June 1, 2010 at 6:38 pm

[re=588859]Neilist[/re]: “What’s the background Homo Radiation reading in here?”

it’s pretty high, but we’ve long since learned the proper compensation for it in our calibrations. it needn’t be an issue for the skilled and experienced gaydar technician.

Snarkalicious June 1, 2010 at 6:44 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: Hey, guys! We’re the media!

RoscoePColtraine June 1, 2010 at 6:46 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: “Their sexuality is their business.” True, dat! You see, the problem is, these repugs go around voting against teh gays during business hours, and then go on the prowl for big dicks to suck later that night. That’s a problem for folks like me. And you’re right in that it doesn’t matter much whether the asshole is a D or R. They just seem to all be Rs. We usually give good ol’ Barney a pass on his sexuality around here, on account of how he VOTES.

It’s a subtle distinction, so I don’t expect you to really get it.

Crank Tango June 1, 2010 at 6:46 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: Weeellllll I the difference is Kagan isn’t anti-gay, she just is a frumpy lady. It’s the hypocrisy that gets you.

bitchincamaro June 1, 2010 at 6:54 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: It’s about the h-y-p-o-c-r-i-s-y of gay-hating, closeted gay lawmakers. He’s fair game.

zhubajie June 1, 2010 at 6:54 pm

So what is it about the closet? Why aren’t they just having fun with the Log Cabin Republicans?

Bruno June 1, 2010 at 6:55 pm

I’m 80% sure I’ve seen him in a not-so-straight bar in Chicago

grevillea June 1, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Ye gods. He looks like the love child of GWBush and Bambi!

Bearbloke June 1, 2010 at 7:14 pm

[re=588910]Bruno[/re]: Was it the same gay bar where Bush & Blair meet up?

blackdontcrack June 1, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Been there. Hit that. Was pretty good.

Extemporanus June 1, 2010 at 7:24 pm

[re=588910]Bruno[/re]: [re=588900]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Was it Roscoe’s, perchance?

BobTheBuilder June 1, 2010 at 7:26 pm

Alert: his specific pattern of necktie is the Official Closeted Republican Pattern: Just compare his tie to this Larry Craig model previously featured on Wonkette: http://img.wonkette.com/assets/resources/2007/09/LarryCraig061407.jpg .

assistant/atlas June 1, 2010 at 7:34 pm

I asked my flaming co-worker if Mark Kirk was gay. He’s like “Who’s that?” So I show him a picture.

His response: “Woo, child, that boy is gayer than a pink unicorn with a manpurse full of rainbows.”

And can I just say that that comment made me love gay people (who aren’t closeted weirdos) even more.

Tommmcatt June 1, 2010 at 7:48 pm

[re=588810]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]:

Teo words: Dennis. Kucinich. Any more sprightly and you’d have to elect Alan Cummings.

Tommmcatt June 1, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Haha, I just saw what you did to the picture there. Perez cum all around!

Berkeley Bear June 1, 2010 at 7:50 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: The commonality is that we comment on everything. When a bunch of people on the right try to create rumors about Kagan based on her looks and pictures of her playing softball, we react with scorn towards the rumor mongers because of our collective experience and the fact that the target has never been an anti-gay homophobe. When third parties start outing yet another publicly anti-gay prominent conservative we react with derision for the person being outed, because so far the odds seem to be better that he is a hypocrite than that the outer is off base.

DraneSpout June 1, 2010 at 8:01 pm

The photoshop’d dribble is nasty. Seriously. Any number of Blingees would have done the job better. Perhaps you guys need a refresher course from Ana Marie….

Neilist June 1, 2010 at 8:08 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: Sleeper. Just for the record, I am a “slanderous homophobe.”

If only because, inherent in your formulation, is that you believe that calling someone gay is “slander,” e.g., a statement tending to harm a person’s reputation, usually by subjecting the person to public contempt, disgrace, or ridicule, etc. See Black’s Law Dictionary (7th ed.) “defamation.”

As to Ms. Kagen: My concern is the horrible injustice that the United States Supreme Court lacks a Lipstick Lesbian Justice. (Since Souter retired, that is.)

dijetlo June 1, 2010 at 8:34 pm

[re=588846]Clankie[/re]:
So you turned him straight?
And then he joined the Navy?
Are you sure he wasn’t just shining you about giving up driving stick?

[re=588844]Bearbloke[/re]: I suspect it’s mostly about the rum.

[re=588945]Neilist[/re]: My concern is the horrible injustice that the United States Supreme Court lacks a Lipstick Lesbian Justice.

Wont someone think of the Lipstick lesbians?
(Besides me and apparently Neilist, I mean.)

BeWoot June 1, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Phillips 66 Truck Stop, Gilman, IL. It was a beautiful Thursday in September. Mark was my sleeper creeper and so sweet to me. I’ll treasure the memory forever.

Mr Blifil June 1, 2010 at 9:20 pm

It was all just innocent towel snapping fun until the Siemans started coming.

Clankie June 1, 2010 at 9:38 pm

[re=588956]dijetlo[/re]: His parents are devout Catholics who, in his early teens, pulled him out of the Catholic school he had been in and enrolled him in a military school in the moderately deep south. There were….issues….in the whole deal. He joined the Navy to specifically work on a submarine, so I think it was more that he couldn’t handle his craving for dick being anything more than a deep, underwater secret. My prediction: if this site is around in 20 years, I will have to out him as a homo on it.

Neilist June 1, 2010 at 9:44 pm

[re=588956]dijetlo[/re]: Di, Old Bean: Don’t be afraid of being out in front on a Social Issue Of This Importance.

Others may brag about being one of the Freedom Riders, or the SDS. But you and I were advocating for a Hot Dyke for Associate Justice BEFORE it was fashionable.

HISTORY WILL ABSOLVE US!!!!!

One Flew Over the Wingnut June 1, 2010 at 9:46 pm

[re=588803]Native of SL UT[/re]: Haha…dig the name. I’m also branded as a native of SLC. Did you get your mark of the beast for being liberal? The mormons say two things make you Satan’s friend: liberalism and being black; unfortunately I’m only one of the two.

One Flew Over the Wingnut June 1, 2010 at 9:48 pm

So in other words Mark Kirk will be found dead in two weeks with a self-emplaced concrete dildo up his butt in a botched attempt at self butt secks. Isn’t that how this works? Or do you think this one will just bang Lindsey Graham in silence like Lieberman and McCain do? Lindsey Graham= the new Jessica Cutler if Kirk gets elected.

One Flew Over the Wingnut June 1, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Good god…that one has the same kind of strangling the dog under the pew creepiness that Ralph Reed proudly exudes. Whoever his rentboy is, dude probably gets tortured as well as butt-secksed.

Holding Out for a Hero June 1, 2010 at 10:11 pm

[re=588932]assistant/atlas[/re]: Or as a very out friend of mine would put

“And a five, six, seven, eight…”

Long Form Def Certificate June 1, 2010 at 10:15 pm

He likes the cubs in Wrigleyville.

El Pinche June 1, 2010 at 10:29 pm

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: Wrong site, you’re looking for Huffpo.

You wanna Blingee? Here:

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/112337002-Mark-Kirk-the-Cum-Dumpster

BTW, that yellow brownish stuff…that’s santorum. My blingee is has many layers.

dijetlo June 2, 2010 at 12:16 am

[re=588975]Clankie[/re]: Don’t be bitter or you’ll end up in the log cabin Republicans. It’s kind of like when you’re mom told you “don’t make that face or it will freeze that way”.
Yup, they have to come from somewhere, don’t they?

[re=588978]Neilist[/re]:
The day we add Associate Justice Luscious to the Supreme court, roughly half of America will become more intelligent (since they’ll suddenly be able to name at least one Supreme Court Justice).
Let’s not be dissuaded by the fact that no imminently qualified legal mind technically fits the definition of a lipstick lesbian, after all consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds (not to mention since Bush V Gore it’s become increasingly clear they’re just making this shit up as they go along anyway and your average crack dealer has only slightly less respect for precedent than the conservative majority currently seated on the court.).

JSDC007 June 2, 2010 at 12:20 am

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: I’m gay, and as far as right-wing homophobes who masquerade as moderates on a Saturday night to appeal to laissez faire Democrats, only to do a role reversal on Sunday morning to appeal to gay-hatin’ Jesus freaks are concerned, I say out them all. Oh, and if said right-winger voted against the repeal of DADT while blabbering about some fake award, I say out him real bad. There’s a real soldier out there in the mountains of Taliban-stan who’s gay and who would never invent some bogus award for himself, and who just wants to do his job without having the likes of this GOP rat throw him under the bus to further his own sleazy political career. Let straight dipshit Alexi Giannoulias bukakke Mark Kirk to defeat. I bet Kirk will secretly love it.

AnnieGetYourFun June 2, 2010 at 1:23 am

[re=588879]SleeperG[/re]: Shut up. I hate you.

scooterKPFT June 2, 2010 at 4:08 am

That guy does not look gay at all.

Buck1962 June 2, 2010 at 8:45 am

[re=589036]JSDC007[/re]: Very well said. Thank you.

JGB June 2, 2010 at 8:48 am

Kirk was one of those who were claiming last summer that the Chinese were drilling for oil in the Gulf of Mexico. He is a liar. And gay, too, also.

BigDupa June 2, 2010 at 9:46 am

[re=588809]ttommyunger[/re]: close- it isn’t gay unless you touch the other guys balls– look it up.

libwakman June 2, 2010 at 10:08 am

Yea..I’ve lifted his luggage.

La Cieca June 2, 2010 at 12:53 pm

[re=588828]rafflesinc[/re]: Yes, you are “First!”

Bocephus June 2, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Bears some resemblance to John Mark Karr (who goes by the name “Alexis Valoran Reich”[Mark Karr--Mark Kirk, just a coincidence?]), the man who “falsely claimed to have murdered JonBenet Ramsey” and who, according to an AP report “is living as a woman and trying to form a cult of little girls to have sex with him.” Check out the picture via this link:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100602/ap_on_re_us/us_john_mark_karr

Samantha1 July 9, 2010 at 11:23 am

It’s not much of secret in Illinois and in much of D.C. Mark Kirk is gay.

If he’s tried to deny it (and usually he just gives very evasive answers), then it’s just one more time he’s lied, and the guy is a proven habitual liar.

And to ph7 who wrote: “Cute ex-wife. Married at 40, divorced by 49. I’m assuming the marriage coincided with entering politics.”

You’re exactly right. Gay rumors were getting widespread during Kirk’s first run for Congress 10 years ago. So he started showing up at events with a woman, the same one he would marry, and then later divorce. She is attractive. And for what it’s worth, she is an activist for gay causes and has lobbied with the Human Rights Campaign: http://www.bilerico.com/2010/05/kirk_vs_kirk_lobbying_a_lawmaker_with_extra_clout.php

Most everyone involved in politics in Illinois has long assumed Mark Kirk was gay. Gay activists left him in the closet as long as he towed the line for the gay agenda, which he always did until his recent vote against repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The gay community considered that vote a betrayal so they outed him finally. Simple as that.

The big story is that the gay community has largely abandoned Kirk. But the fact Kirk is gay is hardly news. He’s just one of those self-loathing, traitorous ones.

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