• May 27, 2012

Bonus/Emergency Children’s Treasury: Al & Tipper Gore Dressed As Sex Monsters

by Ken Layne  2:25 pm June 1, 2010

That's racist.Whoa we were just stopping by MSNBC for a moment to watch the Israeli Ambassador lie about killing people again, and then what’s her name, Alan Greenspan’s wife, just cold started showing pictures of Al and Tipper Gore dressed up as sex monsters for orgies. What is going on here? Oh right, it was the 1980s. Will Allah ever forgive America for the 1980s? No, no she won’t. B-) So, werewolves! We bet Al Gore boned the hell out of Tipper in this get-up! Ugh?

Here’s the giant version, for your nightmares:
He'll rip your lungs out, Jim.
This was, who knows, let’s say at a “White House Power-Dildo Orgy presided over by Nancy Reagan dressed as the Evil Queen from Snow White, Christmas Eve, 1992.” LET’S SAY THAT.

And here’s another Eyes Wide Shut outtake where Al dressed as a fuck-beast and Tipper dressed as a old-tyme whore:
Someone fetch a priest: You can't say No to the Beauty and the Beast.
And, well, that’s the end of our puerile interest in this particular “Washington Gossip.” Jesus fuck is there anything more depressing than “Washington Gossip”? Would anyone like to buy this website, right now? Plz paypal to K Layne, proprietor.

{ 46 comments }

jus_wonderin June 1, 2010 at 2:30 pm

This makes me uneasy and queasy for some reason. It’s like, uh, live Furries.

Lucidamente June 1, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Jesus, Ken, tell us this you aren’t leaving Wonkette with this as your last post.

SayItWithWookies June 1, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Well I’m glad to see that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is getting work.

Suds McKenzie June 1, 2010 at 2:32 pm

More frightening is the thought of Andrea (stammer machine) Mitchel1 and Larry Ki … I mean Allen Greenspan during sexytime.

charlesdegoal June 1, 2010 at 2:33 pm

It’s gossip only if you repeat it. Not our fault if you veer from Israel to the gory Gores.

Extemporanus June 1, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Troubled marriage or not, the Gores really liked doin’ it doggy-style — here’s a (very small) photo of them as Underdog and, I dunno, Victoria Jackson or something.

chascates June 1, 2010 at 2:35 pm

More frightening was the photo of Dick Cheney in front of the VEEP’s official residence.

trondant June 1, 2010 at 2:35 pm

I’m just gonna go find an ATM….

freakishlystrong June 1, 2010 at 2:39 pm

This is quite furrisome.

Lascauxcaveman June 1, 2010 at 2:41 pm

It was totes worth it for the Bowie alt-text.

Oblios Cap June 1, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Are those are outtakes from Indiana Jones and the Yiffpile of Doom? Freaaky stuff, that.

lawrenceofthedesert June 1, 2010 at 2:45 pm

There is nothing scarier than a clown or sadder than a costume party.

honkyman June 1, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Which one was the lying Israeli ambassador? I’d bet the one with the beard and the tsotchkes

facehead June 1, 2010 at 2:46 pm

What a lovely couple.

ManchuCandidate June 1, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Al Gore star of “I Was a Middle Aged Werewolf”

actor212 June 1, 2010 at 2:51 pm

When did Tipper’s face clear up?

norbizness June 1, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Little-known fact: Ron Perlman did not need any make-up for the TV Beauty and the Beast.

Now I’m going to pour bleach into my eyes.

El Pinche June 1, 2010 at 2:54 pm

[re=588578]Extemporanus[/re]: Tipper looks like Popeye in drag with those inhuman calves.

jus_wonderin June 1, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Is being actual werewolves what broke the couple up? Certainly, it can’t be easy.

thehelveticascenario June 1, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Well, at least their hair was perfect.

Extemporanus June 1, 2010 at 3:04 pm

[re=588589]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Which song is the line “That’s racist” from? “China Girl”?

[re=588600]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Two words: clown funeral.

[re=588607]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Green Wolf Too, too.

[re=588613]El Pinche[/re]: Popeye has wrankles.

Doglessliberal June 1, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Ken, go for a walk in the desert. You are sounding a tad more depressed than usual and that worries me.

Buttery1000 June 1, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Thanks, Wonkette. I hated sleeping at night anyway.

dedalus June 1, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Think “Tennessee” and it all makes sense.

dedalus June 1, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Wonkette can become Page 6 of Politico.

Neilist June 1, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Jesus H. Christ, Ken: Are you deliberately trying to steal my crown as the Most Offensive Poster?

Will you leave me with NOTHING?

:::Sobbing, as though his very heart would break::::

:::In between bouts of projectile vomiting provoked by photographs:::

Doglessliberal June 1, 2010 at 3:23 pm

[re=588635]dedalus[/re]: wash out your mouth!

schvitzatura June 1, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Al Gore will be on the Comic-Con cosplay circuit big-time.

I can’t wait to see snaps of him in a natural-fiber, earth-tone, carbon-neutral steampunk get-up.

dedalus June 1, 2010 at 3:45 pm

I don’t get it.

What does the pic of Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell have to do with this story?

Lascauxcaveman June 1, 2010 at 3:49 pm

[re=588622]Extemporanus[/re]: Duh. “Scary Monsters.” Did you even look at the pix?

dex June 1, 2010 at 3:52 pm

joe lieberman looks so happy in those pictures. truly, it was a different time for our country.

Mr Blifil June 1, 2010 at 4:12 pm

I wish the fact that the people who own the world hate Al Gore’s fucking guts would make me like him more. I guess it’s his tragic flaw. People who should be his staunchest allies and protectors are like, “meh.”

pirate king of the Jews June 1, 2010 at 4:17 pm

If Hillary had been willing to dress up for a little strange we wouldn’t have had to live through that Monica bullshit. I suppose Al could have loaned him Tipper…

Dental Plan Provider June 1, 2010 at 4:42 pm

They’re so cute, I love beauty and the beast! hahah… There pictures aren’t really scary at all. ;-)

Katydid June 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=588600]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: You can get a B.A. in puppetry at UConn. That’s a scary/depressing combo that can’t be beat. OMG. Clown puppets. I’m going back to the SCOTUS thread. This one’s scary.

libwakman June 1, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Sexytime with wolves is dangerous bidness cause they tend to chew your nipples off during pawplay. I know first paw.

nappyduggs June 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Fact: The stank from Mexican Circus sex creates holes in the ozone. For shame Al Gore, you dirty, hairy lycanthrope.

zhubajie June 1, 2010 at 7:03 pm

That first photo looks like they’ve had the Maori full-face tatoo, moko. Hope it’s the new fashion for ugly pols in the US!

zhubajie June 1, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Al and Tipper are getting a D-I-V-O-R-C-E according to other sources. I hope Al retires to a whorehouse in Thailand or Philippines. It’ll be just like Memphis, only with better looking women. (Bill could take vacations from Hill there!)

Long Form Def Certificate June 1, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Al’s going to end up cohabiting with the mouthy Dixie Chick. Tipper will marry Prince.

cathcart June 1, 2010 at 10:47 pm

Oh boy, I knew the latest news from the Middle East would turn Wonkette into Ken-Layne-Hates-On-Israel-Mania again. Let’s just call the Jews liars. Everybody knows it’s true, right? Except that so far, the Israel version seems to be far more accurate, if you actually watch what happened: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYjkLUcbJWo&NR=1

cathcart June 1, 2010 at 10:47 pm

*Israeli version

S.Luggo June 2, 2010 at 12:18 am

Just one more consequence of Climate Change. More proof needed?

richardwb1 June 2, 2010 at 1:45 am

[re=589008]cathcart[/re]:
E.S.& D., M-f’r.

Can O Whoopass June 2, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Brewer’s Dad was was Ronnie Reagan’s monkey named Bonzo in many movies after the atom bomb was dropped on Taco Bell in Tijuana.
Like Sean Hannity was Bush’s co-pilot, shot down over North Vietnam and forced to eat ham sandwiches.

ja June 2, 2010 at 10:40 pm

goood gravy they let it all hang out in the 80′s didnt they…
3rd pic down Al looks like Oscar Wilde fucked sasquatch

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