It may surprise you to hear that a new BOOK is coming out, about POLITICS. This one is about the Senate and its Secrets. Don’t you want to know even more embarrassing anecdotes about the behavior of The World’s Greatest Deliberative Body? Here’s one: about that time (maybe now still, who knows?) that senators kept sending Amy Klobuchar wacky notes whenever she was presiding over the chamber. She loved this episode in her life! (Not really.)
Sen. Amy Klobuchar experienced one of her ‘most embarrassing moments’ when, while presiding over the Senate, a page handed her a note signed ‘Anonymous’ that read, ‘Pull up your shirt.’”
That anecdote is one of the more revealing… in a new book, “The Upper House: A Journey Behind the Closed Doors of the U.S. Senate,” by journalist Terence Samuel.
According to Samuel’s book, the Minnesota Democrat’s unintentional flesh-baring became a joke among some Senators, including Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.), and the next time Klobuchar presided over the chamber, she got a second anonymous note. “Your earrings don’t match,” it read. “When she looked up, Tester was cracking up in the back row.”
CHRIST, TESTER, THIS ISN’T MONTANA. You have to ask “please pull up your shirt” and “would you like a set of matching earrings, ma’am,” okay?
UPDATE: Okay okay it’s not fair to blame Jon Tester for the first note. JON TESTER RESPECTS NICE LADIES AND THEIR LADY EARRINGS.
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douche bags
You’ll have to forgive Senator Tester; where he’s from female companionship is nigh-impossible due to a pronounced lack of humans.
And it got worse when Tester offered to give her a pearl necklace to go with her earrings.
As a native Montanan, I’m used to being embarrassed, so I’m just going to skip the preliminaries and start drinking now.
Who can turn the senators on with her shirt?
Who can take a working day, and suddenly make it all seem like harassment?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Douches are all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all
What would Tester do for a Klobuchar?
I like how you replaced the “(ba-dum-bum)” in the second ‘graph with some ellipses. It was about a funny as the idea of bewb-slippage on the Senate floor.
good thing them senator boys aren’t in charge of anything. imagine the mischief a bunch of twelve-year-olds could cause if they had access to lawyers, guns, and money.
Sen Tester also says that if sheep could cook, all the wimin could be lesbian if he could watch. His wife, Betty, was asked for comment, and only said “b-a-a-a-a-a-a,” since she was, well, a sheep. Upon a followup question from Glen Beck about therir sex life, she said the Senator wasn’t too “b-a-a-a-a-a-a-d.
[re=587487]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Isn’t “Klobuchar” a type of fermented tea that co-op shoppers drink?
That’s my Senator!
*Hitches up his spandex overalls in pride*
And if she dressed like Missus Sexypants Helen Thomas maybe we wouldn’t have heard so much about a blue dress.
[re=587489]slappypaddy[/re]: I’d rather feel bad than feel nothing at all. W. Zevon
Yield the remainder of your tits or gavel it the fuck closed!
[re=587495]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Watch out for Brad Johnson this weekend.
why does that post not actually make any sense to me? what unintentional flesh baring? Should I just go back to what I was doing?
The proper way to sexually harass is with a pubic haired Coke. I thought they taught that in orientation.
[re=587477]GWIZ![/re]: Fuckwads. Dickheads. Class AAA assholes.
Goddammit, I want the Supreme Court and, I guess, the Senate, to be majority female. Fucking alphabastards.
Hell yes, I would.
In Testor’s defense, a lot of the interaction between the sexes in Montana is done on a coercive or for-hire basis.
Normally, you need a handful of beads to make that happen
and you need to be in New Orleans during Mardi-Gras
That said, I’d have to agree with the respected gentleman from Bumfuck that Sen Klobuchar would be my choice for Senatorial Mardi-Gras luggage lifter, if forced to fish in that rather restricted pond.
Just show me the Blanche Lincoln Upskirt!
I think my old middle-school student government could’ve managed more decorum. Imagine what goes on in the House…
So, basically tits or GTFO?
See, this is what happens when the Senate allows women to join — it disrupts business and affects unit cohesion. Just a warning for when the inevitable proposal to allow blacks and gays is brought up.
[re=587522]plowman[/re]: Just imagine the zany hijinks if you got the California, Nevada, Kentucky, and South Carolina delegations together. Lindsay and Mitch can share info on facial waxing.
[re=587527]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=587505]Basically.[/re]
[re=587516]WadISay[/re]: Back in Montana, Jon Testor’s nickname is “The Whores Whisperer”.
We crack each other up, so much! Isn’t it fun to break up the monotony by causing the presiding senator to laugh? It’s just like seeing an anchorman break into a laugh while talking about a 40 car pile-up in dense fog live on the air. We just can’t seem to get enough of this shit!
It’s called “legislative immunity.” Deal with it.
Why don’t these guys all just hand in notes that say “I am a chronic masterbator.” Pretty much the same thing.
Pull up your shirt? Was the standard “show us your tits” too coarse and indelicate a phrase for these genteel wussies?
Fan service
There’s nothing wrong with the Senate that electing a few more horses wouldn’t fix.
[re=587548]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]:
Was she being asked to pull up her shirt in the manner of a Girl Gone Wild, or was somebody letting her know that she was revealing more of her décolletage than they wanted to see?
One is borderline inappropriate and probably embarrassing, the other is hilarious.
As Woody Allen put it: “There is a direct correlation between excessive masturbation and a desire to enter politics”.
It’s just one big Frak Chamber
[re=587505]Extemporanus[/re]: LOL!
The Senate: Needz moar taserz to the family jewelz.
[re=587594]prizepig[/re]: But which is which?
No Wonkette–I’m from Montana and we don’t ask when it comes to the lifting of shirts by females. We pour them pitchers of beer and they do it willingly.
[re=587508]Crank Tango[/re]: Same here. Did she just get the note and flashed the chamber her tits before she realized what she was doing?
I haz a confused.
Pics or it didn’t happen
Just for the record: Tester had nothing to do with the first note. My book makes that clear. He knew about it because Klobuchar told him. He was making fun because he knew she was embarrassed. There is absolutely no basis to this story.
[re=587594]prizepig[/re]: Right, the line “the Minnesota Democrat’s unintentional flesh-baring” later in the story suggests that it was the latter (too much décolletage) rather than the former (a demand for exhibitionism), in which case it seems no different than sending a note to a male Senator telling him to zip his fly.
[re=587727]Tcaalaw[/re]: Tout.
A-Klo has been dealing with this stuff for a long time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGozN6FkOPA
[re=587508]Crank Tango[/re]: I am confused as well, I mean pull up your shirt seems to indicate that they wanted her to show her tits. Anyway I always think Sen Klobuchar is kind of sexy-librarian looking, I bet she drops her drawers at the drop of a hat behind closed doors.
I suppose we should be thankful Robert Byrd didn’t sneak behind her while she was talking and pretend to lick the inside of the “V” formed by his own fingers.
Too bad she didn’t taser him or something.
Bring back duelling, or at least fist-fights. I’m serious.
I love Amy Klobuchar. Funniest, smartest Senator EVER! A little cleavage is just the icing on the cake.
The “pull up your shirt,” for those missing the nuance, means that she was accidentally exposing too much cleavage when she leaned forward. The author, whoever it was, was offended/distracted/gay and wanted her to show less of her capacity to nurse young mammals. The earrings was Tester teasing her for being sensitive about how she appeared when she sat in the center seat.
In other words, it’s kind of not that douchey, and it’s not that sexy, and it’s not very revealing, and it’s kind of boring, and it kind of justifies the rest of the description of this history as really, really boring.
If you want douchey, go to Strom Thurmond’s office. If you want hilarious, listen to James Imhoffe try to reason.
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