A sleestak does look pretty damned sexy dressed up like a Navy Officer!Ha ha, how’d that “White House investigation” go, Barack? Pretty good, we bet: “It has been suggested that the Administration may have offered Congressman Sestak the position of Secretary of the Navy in the hope that he would accept the offer and abandon a Senate candidacy. This is false.” Hooray! But what about the other thing, the part everybody’s actually jabbering about? “The White House Chief of Staff enlisted the support of former President Clinton who agreed to raise with Congressman Sestak options of service on a Presidential or other Senior Executive Branch Advisory Board. Congressman Sestak declined the suggested alternatives, remaining committed to his Senate candidacy.” Who is reporting this made-up sleaze? Oh, the White House counsel? Okay.

Here’s more from White House counsel Robert F. Bauer’s report, which sure got finished fast after Obama wouldn’t answer a simple fucking question about the Sestak offer, yesterday. AND NOTICE HOW IT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE SAID OBAMA SHOULD’VE SAID YESTERDAY, NOTICE THAT:

Relationship to Senate Campaign. It has been suggested that discussions of alternatives to the Senate campaign were improperly raised with the Congressman. There was no such impropriety. The Democratic Party leadership had a legitimate interest in averting a divisive primary fight and a similarly legitimate concern about the Congressman vacating his seat in the House. By virtue of his career in public service, including distinguished military service, Congressman Sestak was viewed to be highly qualified to hold a range of advisory positions in which he could, while holding his House seat, have additional responsibilities of considerable potential interest to him and value to the Executive Branch.

There have been numerous, reported instances in the past when prior Administrations — both Democratic and Republican, and motivated by the same goals — discussed alternative paths to service for qualified individuals also considering campaigns for public office. Such discussions are fully consistent with the relevant law and ethical requirements.

Eh, good enough for six or seven billable hours. [White House]

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  1. Dear Friends: This is what you want for your Secretary of the Navy! What value and morals has Sestak? Takes off his cloths, shows his boobs, old dude, and then devalues real estate, destroys properties without owners permission, He sure has dirty underwear!

  2. But what about Vince Foster and the black UN helicopters? Seems convenient the White House counsel doesn’t take the time to mention these.

  3. Knowing that he had the full support of the Lizard People, Sestack scoffed at the idea of abandoning the Senate race for the cushy job of Aquatic Military Potentate.

  4. The White House counsel doesn’t seem to understand the rules of the media here; anything a Republican administration does is OK, but every political act of a Democratic administration is somehow corrupt no matter what.

    And is his name really Bauer? Hm, I think Darrell Issa has got a bit of “enhanced interrogation” coming to him.

  5. Yes, it is exactly what we were saying he should say yesterday but Barry does things the Barry way, on Barry time.
    “Yes, we offered him a job. BFD. I won’t even dignify your moronic question with an oral or timely response. Try again later.”

  6. The Lizard People are breathing a sigh of relief that a prominent member of their oft-misunderstood race is free from the taint of scandal. And since Lizard People have two penises (hemipenes, to use the biologically proper term), they’re more concerned about taint than most Americans.

  7. Should have ended report with, “And, we should note, that at no time did anyone on the White House staff shoot Congressman Sestak in the face with a shotgun and then leave the scene of the crime, uh, we mean ‘incident.'”

  8. I hope Sestak wins the election. Partly because I’m a hippie, but mostly because the Sleestak pictures on Our Wonkette are AWESOME. Obama/Sestak ’12!

  9. I am crying as I type this, the rule of law, the fundamental foundations of our society, they are being trashed and destroyed by this muslim commie nazi. What of the rule of law, ladies and gentlemen? What of the rule of law? Surely this is precisely the sort of “high crimes and misdemeanors” that our forefathers so presciently set forth in the Constitution as grounds for impeachment.

  10. I think Obama and Bill have just figured out that since nobody expects Bill to do anything ethically, they’ll just throw whatever shit that they get accused of at him. “Oh, it wasn’t Obama’s gay sex slave chained up in bondage gear in the Situation Room, it was actually Bill’s. Totally makes sense to me.” For the Wire fans out there, Bill is turning into the Wee Bay of the Democratic Party.

  11. [re=587511]Prommie[/re]: You know that if the Reps manage to take over congress, then just like Clinton before him they’ll manufacture some excuse for impeachment.

  12. If the Democratic National Committee is so concerned about divisive races, why did it let two Democrats run against each other, thereby splitting the vote, with the result being Hawaii’s District 1 seat going to a Republican for the first time in several decades.

    Sorry, don’t buy it. Spent too much time in Chicago. Obama is just as corrupt as the rest of the city.

  13. I had no idea Geico was forming a Navy. “15 minutes can save your tiny country from becoming another Venezuela?”

  14. [re=587545]Chilli[/re]: Yes, Obama’s shown he’s corrupt, like that time he – um – wait, hold on a minute, it’s coming – oh wait, he hasn’t done anything to indicate corruption yet. But you just know must be because he’s from Chicago, gothcha, that makes perfect sense.

  15. [re=587448]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yes Barry does things on Barry’s time and pisses the hell out of the media and the Republicans. Well, that’s not such a bad thing.

    Hell, let’s just impeach Bill Clinton again. Rahm can stay in Israel where he can continue to annoy the dickens out the wing nuts over there.

    Barry can go lay wreaths at Arlington and then he and Joe can go down to the Gulf and sop up every single drop of oil themselves.

    Will that make Darryl Issa happy? Because that’s my main goal in life right now.

  16. This story that the White House is putting out raises more questions than it answers and makes it appear that the White House is hiding something.

    Also, I though Obama was going to change this type of culture in D.C. Wasn’t that one of his campaign promises?

    More of the same.

  17. [re=587660]Davey[/re]: Davey Obama said he was going to change the Bush culture, i.e. torture, lying about war, lying about torture, lying about social security, continuous attacks on other people’s patriotism and loyalty to the U.S, fapping evangelical leaders and then claiming executive priveledge on everything that had anything to do with his administration. Also, fellating oil companies and then fighting every attempt to even peek at cheney’s secret oil meetings. Obama never said he was going to rewrite American culture, just that he’d work with Republicans in a spirit of bipartisanship (which has gotten him attacked by both left and right…I guess Bush, Newt and the GOP congress really DID BBR cooperation). As far as using smart strategy to keep his promise to Specter and avoid the party unity withering contentious primary….right, that’s too far!

    Everything else he has changed (oh and the VP’s office is no longer it’s own branch to avoid turning over evidence) including various attempts to close Gitmo and the campaign to repeal DADT, Obama deserves no credit for effort. Even if the fault ultimately lies in NIMBYism and wingnut craziness. Obama also shitcanned the MMS head which needed to be done. Where I take exception with Obama is that he’s being too realistic and vanilla in his approach and isn’t picking fights with Republicans he can easily win by getting them to show how insane, divisive and bigoted they really are often enough.

  18. [re=587545]Chilli[/re]: He’s keeping the seat warm for whatever Dem wins the seat in about 6 months. It’s socialist Kenya Hawai’i we’re talking about here, y’know.

  19. Oh and I love when wingnuts ridicule Obama (and make really crazy and kind of scary claims about him, scary about themselves, not him) any time he does try to make policy changes from the Bush debacle and then, as a bonus when he hasn’t changed EVERYTHING the GOP did over 12 years in congress, 8 under Bush (within two years) then they ridicule him as “more of the same”. Nice little racket you’ve got there, shitbirds.

  20. Did you see this craziness news conference with the sightseeing tweens on the Capitol steps asking sleestak more questions than the a little older than tween young rethuglican “journalists”? Then all that nonsense with Issa the pit bull conspiracy therorist & his blue tooth & a giggling Rick Sanchez? And when did Eliot Spitzer become a damn news anchor on MSNBC? I guess he blanked his way to the top with a prosti. WTF?? Is it 2012 (the end of the world) already?

  21. [re=587660]Davey[/re]: Yawn. Although the attempt at political horsetrading described above isn’t completely innocent, it is completely legal, and is the kind of thing practiced by by Republican administrations since Abe Lincoln bought off Salmon P. Chase with a cabinet position.

    (Your American History Moment)

  22. [re=587545]Chilli[/re]: Okay, I’ll answer that one. First off, who’s saying they didn’t try to do anything about Hawaii? Second off, Sestak and Specter did run against each other so maybe neither Obama nor the Democratic Leadership has all that much juice or is even inclined to try and prevent every party divisive election. Not to mention this entire “scandal” is just some grandstanding bullshit cooked up by Darell Issa for political gain. How do I know this? because when Republicans were doing things like paying off reps for votes (on the floor of congress, no less) NEVER ONCE did Issa demand an investigation. When Bush did anything that looked even remotely smell (let alone the shit he did that smelled like a Long Island Landfill) Darrell Issa was there cheerleading every step of the way. When industry shill after industry shill was put into regulatory positions Issa never checked or even asked that it be checked to make sure they weren’t snorting meth and having butt secks with oil company people instead of regulating them.

    So in conclusion to people like yourself, anything that looks even mildly sleazy with the Democratic Party is “worse than Watergate” but with Republicans, well it’s okay, even more than okay, it’s PATRIOTIC even when what’s been done is literally worse than watergate.

  23. 18 USC 595: “Whoever, being a person employed in any administrative position by the United States […] uses his official authority for the purpose of interfering with, or affecting, the nomination or the election of any candidate for the […] Member of the Senate […] shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.” 18 USC 600: “Whoever, directly or indirectly, promises any employment, position, compensation, […] or other benefit […] for any political activity or for the support of or opposition to any candidate […] in connection with any primary […] shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.”

  24. Davey…that’s not even close to proper citation. Obama didn’t INTERFERE with a senatorial election, period. He offered sleestak a job, he didn’t fix the vote. There isn’t a single interpretation in which it can actually be alleged that the administration interferred with anything, silly wingnut. What you’d be mostly talking about is if they fixed the vote (like Bush v. Gore), threw out Sleestak votes for Specter or vice versa or set about making some sort of tangible attempt like that to use underhanded tactics to lose the election for sleestak. Under your definition, campaigning for one candidate over another in a race is ALSO “interfering with an election” and shall thefore the person who does this shall be arrested for a federal offense be imprisoned. That’s how loosely you’re interpreting this, wingnut. Not to mention this horsetrading was gone over by independent legal experts and none of them could find anything illegal with it. Stop trying to go Arkansas Project on Obama, you lost get over it.

    Guh, this is why I’m glad wingnuttus ignoramuses like this aren’t actually lawyers.

  25. [re=587702]Davey[/re]: Davey babby: content, meh, but A+ for effort — trolling hardcore, straight cuttin’ and pastin’ on these muslins, prior to the long weekend. No rest for the barking, batshit insane, eh?

  26. OMG. I can’t even look at this page anymore without wetting my pants. Admiral Sleestak is the best so far. You guys are killing me.

  27. [re=587702]Davey[/re]: Say, while you’re cutting and pasting, see if you can locate the part in the penal code where it says YOU CAN’T FUCKING TORTURE AND LIE ABOUT WARS AND SHIT.

  28. Davey, Chilli…what are you doing? Have you taken a look around this website? Nobody wants to “debate” you. Nobody is going to have a heart attack and die after being blown away by your “intellect” or “hard-hitting arguments.” Not here. And nobody’s impressed that you can cut and paste from the U.S. Code, either–we know that law and can make all those noises at home. So you can go ahead with your farewell post that starts with “you libs” and rants about how our refusal to “engage in real debate” is due to our collectivist blah blah blah eh tl;dr.

  29. The Dems should have thought to offer George W. a country club membership and maybe some blow to get out of the presidential race.

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