america's web polls

Greta Van Susteren Asks Who’s Dumb, Fox News Viewers Say ‘You Are!’

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The people have spoken!
Mush-mouthed Scientologist and forgotten Fox News anchor lady Greta Van Susteren is a petulant child who battles her own viewers on her parody blog, “Gretawire.” A viewer named Brian wrote in and said, “You have a mind like a seive [sic]. Your brain is empty.” Is there anyone who would argue with that kind of plain fact?

Yes! Greta herself would like to dispute the point. So she asked somebody at to set up a fancy “online poll,” so scientific legal voting could take place and results could be known, to one and all! And, well, blog readers think Greta’s an idiot, the end.

In other words: Don’t forget to vote in this important web survery! [FoxNews via Wonkette operative “Brooke E.”]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Sue

    But, if Fox viewers think you’re an idiot, what does that really mean idiotness-wise? head hurts.

  • FMA

    Greta isn’t dumb. She just has an intellectual disability. She is one of God’s Special Angels.

  • ttommyunger

    I don’t know from dumb, but she sure has a corner on the ugly. I wouldn’t fuck her with Glenn Beck’s eeny teeny weeny.

  • Prommie

    She is slowly turning into the cat lady, from the plastic surgeries. I didn’t know she was an anchor, I thought she was their specialist in white girls who disappear on spring break, with the drugging and fucking also.

  • Prommie

    [re=587212]Sue[/re]: This statment is a lie.

  • ManchuCandidate

    At least she has her looks… oh.

  • freakishlystrong

    They hate her for her thetans.

  • x111e7thst

    So a moron who spells sieve “seive” thinks that idiot Greta is a fucktard. Ok. I see his point.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Wow, the dude’s from Tahlequah, OK, too–not exactly your bastion for lefty lib-tards. (Esp. since their are only about 8 Dems in the whole damn state.)

    This post of goodness/light/happy unicorn rainbows will warm my heart as I prepare for my daughter’s sleepover with a whole passel of 8 year old girls. Ha fucking ha, Greta!

  • proudgrampa

    Who’s Greta Van Susteren?

  • Noodle Salad

    If only Great was “dumb” in the sense that she couldn’t speak, rather than “dumb” in the sense that she is on Fox.

  • Tim

    Damn this woman has always freaked me the hell out- especially because of the way she talks out of the side of her mouth all the time. Seriously freaky.

  • Beowoof

    Let’s remember her start in television was on CNN covering the OJ trial. With such an auspicious beginning to her television career the downward trend in career is not really surprising.

    And isn’t she banging Todd. That could really have raised her thetans.

  • norbizness

    We all dumb. Dumb as hell.

  • Woodwards Friend

    Brian = Xenu.

  • harry palmer

    I have a German Shepherd named Greta who is both smarter and better looking than that Fox News thing. Who should rename her blog “Gretaclue.”

  • JMP

    When the dumb call the dumb dumb, the high levels of meta-stupidity will cause a moronic collapse upon itself, forming a dumb hole from which no intelligence can escape, even traveling at the speed of thought. This was how Fox News was first formed, but going by the latest advances in imbecile physics it may be forming a new, baby moronic universe here.

  • Chain Tattoo

    [re=587217]Prommie[/re]: Well, she is the specialist in kidnapped/missing blonde teenage girls, but there’s been something of a shortage of late. It’s gonna take at least two such incidents this summer before Greta can get her mojo back. Two consecutive spring breaks have come and gone without a suburban blonde teenager going missing, and this has made Greta effectively unemployed.

  • Snarko Marx

    [re=587236]Tim[/re]: Does Greta have some sort of palsy that causes her to do that side-of-the-mouth thing? That’s what I always figured it was.

  • duchamp

    I watched Greta religiously since her days with the OJ trial. However, after she gave Brett Favre a free pass on his lies, her love affair with Sarah Palin, and her loyalty to a tv station that couldn’t be more unfair to Americans, I had to stop watching. Hope she comes to her senses and decides to have integrity in her work.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    This is one of Gretel Von Manface’s favorite techniques to get back at those who dare criticize her or her favorite squeeze, Stupid Snowbonics Sarah. She posts critical e-mail or comments as a separate thread to inspire her retarded Jackals to rip into the infidel. She does it all the time and I’m proud to say that I once was awarded this honor with my own thread where I was called Ignorunt, Socialist, Obamalover and probably an Illeagle Immigrant for nearly two days.
    Gretel fans make freepers look like Rocket Scientists. Truly a collection of the dumbest of the dumb.
    Don’t believe me? Look at the comments in the Forum sections of her little place.

  • Katydid

    [re=587269]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Good on you!!! I’d be so proud if it were me.

    If you look at the comments on this “poll,” at least the first 10 or so, they only think she’s dumb because of her religion. Tolerance and all. She’s a Scientologist?

  • donotronix

    What is a survery?

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=587232]proudgrampa[/re]: The wife of The Gov’Nor’s PR Guy. See Comment from OBlivious on her blog. I saw it on the Internets, so it must be true.

  • Sue

    [re=587220]Prommie[/re]: But wait, if it’s a lie, then the statement isn’t true. But if it’s not a lie, then . . . Yep. Same thing.

  • Beck Licks Seer Stones

    Yeah what is with Palin palling around with scientologists anyway?

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    You know it’s pretty good science when the poll adds up to 100%!

  • JMP

    [re=587296]Beck Licks Seer Stones[/re]: They love recruiting celebrities, and a political figure would be a big get. And being incredibly dumb, she should be an easy recruit.

    Or look here:

  • Whitey Did Katrina

    I enjoy the question mark after Greta’s name in the poll option. I read this as some nerd in the interactive medias department asking, “Greta? You sure you want to do this?”

  • llibra

    [re=587232]proudgrampa[/re]: “Who’s Greta van Susteren?” you ask. Well, since she left CNN and went to Fox I have not seen her. Fox cannot be seen on my television because I will not permit it. So I don’t know if she still is unable to part her hair without it looking as though it was parted with one of those clawed and slotted spoons devised for lifting pasta. My guess is that she still looks like a haystack after a tornado. That’s how you can recognize her.

  • Troubledog

    Oh, she’s that chick who hosts Newt Gingrich three times a week, whenever he needs to save America.

  • pirate king of the Jews

    and you can vote as often as you like!

  • mocowbell

    Hmmm…. looks like one of them trick cretin vs thetan polls.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=587280]donotronix[/re]: It’s a public poll by a TV android with a face like a claw hammer in order to cleverly smear herself.

  • geminisunmars

    [re=587269]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: No. You cannot force me to look. Do not need emetic today.

  • trondant

    [re=587237]Beowoof[/re]: [re=587259]duchamp[/re]: I’ve often maintained that her getting on TV was OJ’s real crime.

  • Not_So_Much

    Even her writing is unintelligible…

  • wildturtlelove

    [re=587249]Snarko Marx[/re]: She used to be fairly attractive, but had plastic surgery when she was competing for a network spot (sorry, can’t remember which one, it was some years ago). Sadly, the results were dramatically worse- with possible nerve damage around the mouth.

  • Tim

    van Susteren – is that how you spell her name? I thought it was Schusshhhhtermmmshhhhhhhhhhn or something …

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    70% and rising for the dumberest.

  • Extemporanus

    Let’s we all fucking forget, nothing get’s by Greta.

    She is the “Palin Fence” of political commentary.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=587244]JMP[/re]: The Profundity of Dumb…

    [re=587289]Sue[/re]: “”Logic is a little bird tweeting in meadow; logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which … smell bad…”Spock

  • thatguy08

    This morning Greta is probably walking around town with a large brown paper bag over her head after a public stunt back fired on her.

  • Neilist

    Back when I was training, we used to call that kind of thing “Blocking a punch with your face.”

    Which would, of course, explain Greta’s appearance.

    Sort of like Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini . . . although Ray probably is smater, more articulate, and has a better sense of humor.

    Right, Duk Koo Kim?

    Hello? Hello?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Greta can always get a job advising the GOP on website management. Their whole questions from America thing seems to be going so well.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=587578]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Is that in Base 10?

    Tommorow’s FauxNews headline: “Only 30% Think Fox Commentator Not Dumber Than a Bag of Mammers!”

  • Starrigavan

    When, oh when, will the ironically deficient learn to stay away from the interwebs? When?

  • fulke_greville

    Did GVS ever get a refund or a lawyer for that face job?

  • Geogre

    Oh, and Brian is dumb, too. He was either watching Fox News or reading its web site. Either way, he was potentially contributing to its advertising revenues.