AMERICA'S WEB POLLS  9:55 am May 28, 2010

Greta Van Susteren Asks Who’s Dumb, Fox News Viewers Say ‘You Are!’

by Ken Layne

The people have spoken!
Mush-mouthed Scientologist and forgotten Fox News anchor lady Greta Van Susteren is a petulant child who battles her own viewers on her parody blog, “Gretawire.” A viewer named Brian wrote in and said, “You have a mind like a seive [sic]. Your brain is empty.” Is there anyone who would argue with that kind of plain fact?

Yes! Greta herself would like to dispute the point. So she asked somebody at to set up a fancy “online poll,” so scientific legal voting could take place and results could be known, to one and all! And, well, blog readers think Greta’s an idiot, the end.

In other words: Don’t forget to vote in this important web survery! [FoxNews via Wonkette operative "Brooke E."]

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Sue May 28, 2010 at 9:59 am

But, if Fox viewers think you’re an idiot, what does that really mean idiotness-wise? head hurts.

FMA May 28, 2010 at 10:00 am

Greta isn’t dumb. She just has an intellectual disability. She is one of God’s Special Angels.

ttommyunger May 28, 2010 at 10:00 am

I don’t know from dumb, but she sure has a corner on the ugly. I wouldn’t fuck her with Glenn Beck’s eeny teeny weeny.

Prommie May 28, 2010 at 10:01 am

She is slowly turning into the cat lady, from the plastic surgeries. I didn’t know she was an anchor, I thought she was their specialist in white girls who disappear on spring break, with the drugging and fucking also.

Prommie May 28, 2010 at 10:02 am

[re=587212]Sue[/re]: This statment is a lie.

ManchuCandidate May 28, 2010 at 10:06 am

At least she has her looks… oh.

freakishlystrong May 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

They hate her for her thetans.

x111e7thst May 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

So a moron who spells sieve “seive” thinks that idiot Greta is a fucktard. Ok. I see his point.

Texan Bulldoggette May 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

Wow, the dude’s from Tahlequah, OK, too–not exactly your bastion for lefty lib-tards. (Esp. since their are only about 8 Dems in the whole damn state.)

This post of goodness/light/happy unicorn rainbows will warm my heart as I prepare for my daughter’s sleepover with a whole passel of 8 year old girls. Ha fucking ha, Greta!

proudgrampa May 28, 2010 at 10:08 am

Who’s Greta Van Susteren?

Noodle Salad May 28, 2010 at 10:10 am

If only Great was “dumb” in the sense that she couldn’t speak, rather than “dumb” in the sense that she is on Fox.

Tim May 28, 2010 at 10:10 am

Damn this woman has always freaked me the hell out- especially because of the way she talks out of the side of her mouth all the time. Seriously freaky.

Beowoof May 28, 2010 at 10:14 am

Let’s remember her start in television was on CNN covering the OJ trial. With such an auspicious beginning to her television career the downward trend in career is not really surprising.

And isn’t she banging Todd. That could really have raised her thetans.

norbizness May 28, 2010 at 10:14 am

We all dumb. Dumb as hell.

Woodwards Friend May 28, 2010 at 10:14 am

Brian = Xenu.

harry palmer May 28, 2010 at 10:15 am

I have a German Shepherd named Greta who is both smarter and better looking than that Fox News thing. Who should rename her blog “Gretaclue.”

JMP May 28, 2010 at 10:18 am

When the dumb call the dumb dumb, the high levels of meta-stupidity will cause a moronic collapse upon itself, forming a dumb hole from which no intelligence can escape, even traveling at the speed of thought. This was how Fox News was first formed, but going by the latest advances in imbecile physics it may be forming a new, baby moronic universe here.

Chain Tattoo May 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

[re=587217]Prommie[/re]: Well, she is the specialist in kidnapped/missing blonde teenage girls, but there’s been something of a shortage of late. It’s gonna take at least two such incidents this summer before Greta can get her mojo back. Two consecutive spring breaks have come and gone without a suburban blonde teenager going missing, and this has made Greta effectively unemployed.

Snarko Marx May 28, 2010 at 10:21 am

[re=587236]Tim[/re]: Does Greta have some sort of palsy that causes her to do that side-of-the-mouth thing? That’s what I always figured it was.

duchamp May 28, 2010 at 10:28 am

I watched Greta religiously since her days with the OJ trial. However, after she gave Brett Favre a free pass on his lies, her love affair with Sarah Palin, and her loyalty to a tv station that couldn’t be more unfair to Americans, I had to stop watching. Hope she comes to her senses and decides to have integrity in her work.

Escape Goat Nation May 28, 2010 at 10:33 am

This is one of Gretel Von Manface’s favorite techniques to get back at those who dare criticize her or her favorite squeeze, Stupid Snowbonics Sarah. She posts critical e-mail or comments as a separate thread to inspire her retarded Jackals to rip into the infidel. She does it all the time and I’m proud to say that I once was awarded this honor with my own thread where I was called Ignorunt, Socialist, Obamalover and probably an Illeagle Immigrant for nearly two days.
Gretel fans make freepers look like Rocket Scientists. Truly a collection of the dumbest of the dumb.
Don’t believe me? Look at the comments in the Forum sections of her little place.

Katydid May 28, 2010 at 10:39 am

[re=587269]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Good on you!!! I’d be so proud if it were me.

If you look at the comments on this “poll,” at least the first 10 or so, they only think she’s dumb because of her religion. Tolerance and all. She’s a Scientologist?

donotronix May 28, 2010 at 10:44 am

What is a survery?

Tundra Grifter May 28, 2010 at 10:48 am

[re=587232]proudgrampa[/re]: The wife of The Gov’Nor’s PR Guy. See Comment from OBlivious on her blog. I saw it on the Internets, so it must be true.

Sue May 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

[re=587220]Prommie[/re]: But wait, if it’s a lie, then the statement isn’t true. But if it’s not a lie, then . . . Yep. Same thing.

Beck Licks Seer Stones May 28, 2010 at 10:57 am

Yeah what is with Palin palling around with scientologists anyway?

Monsieur Grumpe May 28, 2010 at 11:01 am

You know it’s pretty good science when the poll adds up to 100%!

JMP May 28, 2010 at 11:17 am

[re=587296]Beck Licks Seer Stones[/re]: They love recruiting celebrities, and a political figure would be a big get. And being incredibly dumb, she should be an easy recruit.

Or look here:

Whitey Did Katrina May 28, 2010 at 11:20 am

I enjoy the question mark after Greta’s name in the poll option. I read this as some nerd in the interactive medias department asking, “Greta? You sure you want to do this?”

llibra May 28, 2010 at 11:21 am

[re=587232]proudgrampa[/re]: “Who’s Greta van Susteren?” you ask. Well, since she left CNN and went to Fox I have not seen her. Fox cannot be seen on my television because I will not permit it. So I don’t know if she still is unable to part her hair without it looking as though it was parted with one of those clawed and slotted spoons devised for lifting pasta. My guess is that she still looks like a haystack after a tornado. That’s how you can recognize her.

Troubledog May 28, 2010 at 11:28 am

Oh, she’s that chick who hosts Newt Gingrich three times a week, whenever he needs to save America.

pirate king of the Jews May 28, 2010 at 11:33 am

and you can vote as often as you like!

mocowbell May 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Hmmm…. looks like one of them trick cretin vs thetan polls.

S.Luggo May 28, 2010 at 12:16 pm

[re=587280]donotronix[/re]: It’s a public poll by a TV android with a face like a claw hammer in order to cleverly smear herself.

geminisunmars May 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm

[re=587269]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: No. You cannot force me to look. Do not need emetic today.

trondant May 28, 2010 at 12:40 pm

[re=587237]Beowoof[/re]: [re=587259]duchamp[/re]: I’ve often maintained that her getting on TV was OJ’s real crime.

Not_So_Much May 28, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Even her writing is unintelligible…

wildturtlelove May 28, 2010 at 1:14 pm

[re=587249]Snarko Marx[/re]: She used to be fairly attractive, but had plastic surgery when she was competing for a network spot (sorry, can’t remember which one, it was some years ago). Sadly, the results were dramatically worse- with possible nerve damage around the mouth.

Tim May 28, 2010 at 1:52 pm

van Susteren – is that how you spell her name? I thought it was Schusshhhhtermmmshhhhhhhhhhn or something …

Monsieur Grumpe May 28, 2010 at 2:57 pm

70% and rising for the dumberest.

Extemporanus May 28, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Let’s we all fucking forget, nothing get’s by Greta.

She is the “Palin Fence” of political commentary.

Bearbloke May 28, 2010 at 4:36 pm

[re=587244]JMP[/re]: The Profundity of Dumb…

[re=587289]Sue[/re]: “”Logic is a little bird tweeting in meadow; logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which … smell bad…”Spock

thatguy08 May 28, 2010 at 5:31 pm

This morning Greta is probably walking around town with a large brown paper bag over her head after a public stunt back fired on her.

Neilist May 28, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Back when I was training, we used to call that kind of thing “Blocking a punch with your face.”

Which would, of course, explain Greta’s appearance.

Sort of like Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini . . . although Ray probably is smater, more articulate, and has a better sense of humor.

Right, Duk Koo Kim?

Hello? Hello?

Tundra Grifter May 28, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Greta can always get a job advising the GOP on website management. Their whole questions from America thing seems to be going so well.

S.Luggo May 28, 2010 at 11:08 pm

[re=587578]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Is that in Base 10?

Tommorow’s FauxNews headline: “Only 30% Think Fox Commentator Not Dumber Than a Bag of Mammers!”

Starrigavan May 29, 2010 at 4:05 am

When, oh when, will the ironically deficient learn to stay away from the interwebs? When?

fulke_greville May 29, 2010 at 11:29 am

Did GVS ever get a refund or a lawyer for that face job?

Geogre May 29, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Oh, and Brian is dumb, too. He was either watching Fox News or reading its web site. Either way, he was potentially contributing to its advertising revenues.

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