What kind of insanity is Sarah Palin causing today? We were reading Wonkette alum Juli Weiner’s thing at the Vanity Fair website about the Great Home-Depot Pre-Assembled Board-Wall of Wasilla when we stumbled upon a comment that may or may not have been translated from the original Latvian. Does Sarah Palin “takes off her cloths, shows her boobs, old lady, and then devalues real estate”?
Here, read it for yourselves:
Dear Friends: This is what you want for your home! What value and morals has Palin? Takes off her cloths, shows her boobs, old lady, and then devalues real estate, destroys properties without owners permission, She sure has dirty underwear! Statutory Rape her daughter and she does nothing. How much is she getting from Vanity Fair? Woman deserve better than this. So do men. The old bag and her dirty underwear would make a tea party stain environmentally unsafe. Pew! Stinks worse than a dead skunk her dirty underwear! Want this for your hubby or children? Kick Backs! What a theatrical bad drunk! Against the law to put things on anothers property without permission. Was their a permit? Send this around facebook, blog, glog, tweet, twitter and all birdwatchers. Dirty!
Posted 5/27/2010 5:57:08pm by DearFriends
Blog, glog, tweet, twitter and all birdwatchers? Oh hell yeah that is Dirty!
{ 74 comments }
Like after brain aneurysm writes like Yoda this blogger does.
OK, which of you guys wrote that? Genius.
I think it’s a Haiku:
Takes off her cloths, shows
her boobs, old lady, and then
devalues real estate
I thought William S Burroughs was dead. What’s he doing posting @ Vanity Fair?
The perils of machine translation.
Trig is so smart!
Scribed by the one stupid libtard I know.
I heard Garrison Keillor read this on NPR this morning. It was quite moving.
Don’t take the brown acid, people.
I can’t wait to link this on my glog.
Wow, such sublime genius, such magnificent genius!
[re=587253]BaconTime[/re]: clearly it is poesy of some sort and must be presented in a performance art show. Read by a naked, male Sarah Palin impersonator. Sitting on a fence.
hillbilly haiku?
With the information about her underwear that only someone close to her would know, I’m guessing Levi wrote this.
That’s a bigger word salad than the shrillbilly’s word salads. Well played!
[re=587261]jetjaguar[/re]: I think this piece was written while under the influence of glog:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulled_wine#Gl.C3.B6gg
Travis Bickle?
I alternated cans of Guinness and tequila last night. Then I wrote that. Glad you guys liked it.
Also too, I feel like shit this morning.
So it WAS Bukowski who lived next door!
This was deviously planted by our Dear Leader on the Korean penninsula, only they posting forgot the usual link to some scuzzy Gucci knockoff warehouse advertising “good time for best year products and people who are good time. Jordans from $15. Pole from $10. Better best from you us.”
I went to the site, but a big black square saying “BVLGARI” (“censored” in Latvian???) covered the article.
The real story is that Palin wears cloths, unlike the rest of us lamestreamers. Now who’s an elitist?
Sorry to disappoint on a Friday morning, but I suggest the “dirty laundry” and “dirty underwear” is only methaphoric.
I did learn that the good city of Wasilla doesn’t believe in building permits. You betcha!
It’s a secret code. When you take the words corresponding to prime numbers and add appropriate punctuation, you get this:
Friends! This what want what, and Palin off shows. Lady then without, sure dirty her and does how! Vanity woman do bag tea. Unsafe: than dead her your kick. What drunk the things without was blog tweet. And.
[re=587260]JMP[/re]: And just when I get depressed, My Wonkette posts this, and commenter JMP posts this. All better now.
[re=587282]Chain Tattoo[/re]: Christ. That reads like “Finnegan’s Wake.”
[re=587282]Chain Tattoo[/re]: WIN. I was hoping there was a Straussian in the bunch who could uncover the clearly esoteric nature of this text.
[re=587268]Doglessliberal[/re]: Mmmm, well I don’t blame her/him, it Glogg sounds delicious!
It was Brick oven Bob.
Word Monkey renders the Latvian as:
ņem pie viņas segas, rāda viņas boobs, vecā dāma, un pēc tam devalues nekustamo īpašumu
Apparently in Latvia they have no boobs or devaluation of their own, thus they never developed words for these things.
[re=587294]jetjaguar[/re]: It is!! Had a professor from Sweden in college who had an annual Xmas party and all the students would get blotto on glog.
I think we just found Newel1′s Wonkette replacement, amirite?
Is “old lady” meant as an insult or a euphemism for “kooch?”
I’m looking forward to the Shatner version.
[re=587285]Katydid[/re]: Glad to make you feel better; now, if someone could help me get over my rage at the world.
Babelfish doesn’t have Latvian, so I had to split the difference and translate it in and out of Russian then German. Curiously, this new version is as lucid as the original.
Love of friends: This of, which you wish for your house! Which value and moral have Palin? Accepts its cloths, older woman explains to it boobs, and after this from real estate devalues, it destroys characteristics without the permission of the owners, it has certainly dirty underwear! IT is not bildhauerischer robbery its daughter and it forms anything. How does it reach from the fair of the vanity? Woman earns better than this. Educate people in such a way. Old bag and its dirty underwear would let a party of the tea stain regarding the environment of dangerous. Theatergunstock! Stink [plokh] as absolutely a stinking animal by its dirty underwear! That one this for your Hubby or children? Recoils! Which [teatraloe] arms drunk! Against the law for in the thing the property of anothers dress without permission. There was its permission? Send this over facebook, [bloga], glog, to Tweet, Twitter and all birdwatchers. It is dirty!
I think Wonkette just found their newest writer.
I didn’t know that any of the Navajo code talkers were still around.
That fence pic is for real (let’s call it her Palinsade)…an attempt to circumvent some “fences shall be no taller than” ordinance so it can reach the highest point of that roof next door. The other pictures online are unbelievable. (“The Palins” sign out front is in all-caps Brush Script, which is an abomination unto itself.)
To her fans, anything she does is perfectly fine, but if their own neighbor pulled a psychotic stunt like that they’d be incensed. She is completely situational in her sense of right and wrong. It’s the same thing as calling any sensitivity “politically incorrect” except that which relates to conditions afflicting your own family.
No building codes, no permits, you can build your very own Unabomber-shack wherever you want in Alaska.
See, I had this implement from a box store made on foreign shores, and the instructions didn’t quite, so I copied them down and ran them from the supposed English back into the native tongue with the help of Batleby and then translated them out again, and ran my spellcheck on the result, and it was very similar to the letter quoted above.
Maybe he’s doing it for a class? What class is anybody’s guess.
worst Mad Lib ever
[re=587286]Katydid[/re]: No possessive. finnegans wake. Nobody owns it.
I only progressed through the title.
That has all the hallmarks of Google translation.
Having said that, it now occurs to me that so does everything that Sarah Palin ever said.
I think this proves fairly conclusively that you can say about someone “English isn’t her first language” without implying that there is one that is.
By the way whoever mentioned yesterday (here? elsewhere? can’t remember where I saw it) that the rise in the fence is where they went over the cinder blocks that the car had been up on should be knighted. I’m only surprised that they didn’t just go right over the car, but maybe it was finally towed away.
[re=587330]Prommie[/re]: Wasilla used to have codes and a permit process, until Todd and his friends were getting ready to build that monstrosity they call a house and Mayor $arah found a way to get rid of them, for the freedoms.
I hope those totally blocked walls are on St. Sarah’s side.
(And what’s with Huff Po calling this 14′ monster “beautiful?”)
Since when does Skwisgaar Skwigelf get so worked up about white trash politics? I thought he was a nihilist. He obviously hasn’t lost his fascination with granny panties.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDKBJxRh_UU
The underwear are dirty because they are the “lucky undies” that John McCain bought for her and she hasn’t taken them off since the campaign.
Alumni, eh? I always suspected that Juli Weiner was more than one person. But on the off-chance that she isn’t, it’s ‘alumna’. Sarah Palin on the other hand, is about half a person and probably never graduated from anything. But, she’s an alumna of more colleges than most actual complete people are. Also.
Why do I have this sudden craving for pop-sickles?
Ted Stevens’ grammar is improving.
Anyway, needs more Aricept.
[re=587405]sezme[/re]: And if its Julie Weiner plus Jim Newell, its alumnae.
Don’t know who made the post, but the writing style fairly screams ‘Wasilla’.
Speaking of insane comments, you know that fun time over at America Speaks Out or whatever the fuck it is? Yesterday a commentor at the NYT quoted one of your more ridiculous ones as if it were an example of a real wingnut, and today on “On Point”, Tom Ashbrook brought it up, and how it was being
“abused” and read “We should end all child labor laws! We coddle our kids too much” on the air.
[re=587350]Bowdoin[/re]: If it wasn’t Finnegan’s wake, then who was that guy in the coughin’
Egad! Mr. Sparkle has grown sentient and is reading Vanity Fair online!
Sounds like the Russian guy got fed up with her spying on him from her kitchen window.
OK, everyone. I’m sorry I didn’t Spellcheck before I posted at Vanity Fair. Excuuuuuuse me.
If he doesn’t get the Wonkette job, he should try Hallmark
(for their “Show her boobs” section)
[re=587309]JMP[/re]: You might want to take a look at “The Peace of Wild Things” by Wendell Berry. It has been a comfort to me as I teeter on the brink.
Obviously the work of that lawyer/dentist/realtor/birther creature, who has turned on the Wasillinator.
[re=587310]Norbert[/re]: Sveiks! Latvian is a member of the Baltic group of Indo-European languages and is neither Teutonic or Slavic, so splitting the difference won’t help in translation. Having spent time in Latvia, I doubt it’s originally a Latvian document. My best guess is that it is a variant of Wasillese-Matanuskan.
[re=587413]S.Luggo[/re]: Now I’m sad all over again. And looks like Ken has done a stealth edit, so my comment no longer makes any sense, although Juli has been transmogrophied into a colorless astringent compound, which is equally apt.
Was that comment crowdsourced?
HEY! That could actually make for a interesting posting excercise on our Wonkette — a story topic is agreed upon, and then each sentence of the post is written by a different commenter, “Comedy Sports”-style (or “Whose Line is it Anyway?” or wherever the fuck that bit comes from).
We could call it “tardsourcing”!
LET’S DO THIS THING!!
That has got to be a snowbilly neighbor or Levi’s mom who would know if anybody does about Sarah’s dirty underwear.
The fence is made from the shells, limbless. quivering torsos and stinking skin of dying, Gulf sea turtles. [Or, if you wish, "dying Gulf".]
Waste not, want not. It’s freedom’s way.
Sarah said of the writer “Maybe we’ll welcome him with a homemade blueberry pie tomorrow” Yeah, like she’s ever made homemade, festive, buttery, baked goods for anyone. She couldn’t even recognize a tart in her own home until Todd realized that he wasn’t running to the grocery store as often for tampons for one of the family bleeders.
What’s up with her saying that she was strapping little Trinket, or whatever his name is, for an adventure while she was going to mow the lawn? Who the hell straps on a tard-guard to protect them from flying rocks and debris from power lawn tools? Should he be inside, napping after his snack of lead paint chips and Triaminic, with it’s cool grape goodness?
The fence looks like it was built by a spider on Xanax. I look at Sarah and Todd and I wonder which one of them is more genetically defective. It’s a wonder that the whole clan doesn’t have knees that bend the other way, one super long pinkie finger and one butt cheek that is WAY bigger than the other.
The writer chose that location for a reason. He needed to write in peace, without the annoying sounds of school buses picking up and loading 5 days a week.
Sarah and Todd, love ya like a cold sore!
Our Sarah, she just loves freedom! The freedom to incite her fans into going after a journalist because he had the nerve, the very nerve, to choose to live next door to her! The freedom to insinuate that he’s some sort of pedophile stalker. The freedom to refer to a huge public lake as her family’s swimming hole. So much freedom!
And this guy, this “journalist” who does he think he is? What gives him the right to spend his money renting a house that Sarah doesn’t want him to rent? And what about those neighbors? Who died and left them the right to use their own personal property as they choose? This is nothing more than European Socialism at its WORST! How dare this man write a book about our Sarah! She already wrote one! And she didn’t rent some “house” next to some “lake” to do it! She got paid up front while she was still governor. That makes her a “real” capitalist. And sure, it’s illegal for a sitting governor in Alaska to moonlight, but that just makes her a “rogue!” This guy is writing a book and not even breaking a single LAW! That makes him just another member of the lamestream media!
On an entirely different note, can she see Russia over the fence?
[re=587301]Decker[/re]: I think its more like those 40 longs, not all perky and Mevericked and such.
I couldn’t have said that better myself.
They need to do way instain mother who kill thier babbys. Also.
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