Several friendly jackass readers have notified your Wonkette of the current status of the GOP’s new comedy website, America Speaking Out. Apparently so many brilliant American political/policy strategists are trying to type in cock jokes that the website — which Rep. Kevin McCarthy was only able to create after he “personally traveled to Washington state and discovered a Microsoft program that helped NASA map the moon” — is now acting like a lazy Muslim. How are Wonkette-Americans going to write Dana Milbank’s columns for him from now on, given this roadblock? (Oh look, it’s working now! Not working. Working! Whatever.) [America Speaking out via operatives "Max B" and Blogslut]
RACISM
May 26, 2010
{ 85 comments }
Went there and it seems Wonkettes have already trashed the place. GOP and Tea Partiers go back to Somalia, etc…
I must admit to feeling an intense sense of gratitude to Michael Steele for spending so much money just to give us this fun new online game. This is way more fun than a visit to a lesbian bondage nightclub.
Still, despite his generous gift to all us Godless socialists, it must have cost a lot of the GOP’s money to spread this wonderland before us purely for our enjoyment. Wouldn’t it have been cheaper for him just to send a new iPad to all the Wonketeers?
Jim, you should reconsider going to Gawker, it’s not as fun as your wonkette. For one thing, Gawker commenters will never use truck-nuts in a sentence. Also, too, Gawker commenters will never bother to contribute to GOP website with fun comments. If you insist though, please do not write about gossip girl or any of the stupid shows Gawker obsesses over. I will be disappointed worse than a hippie in Obama, if you write about that shit.
This confounded series of tubes beats all I ever seen! Consarn it, all we’re a tryin’ ta do is win a permanent Republican Majority…Little help, here.
“A very high volume of Americans are speaking out right now”. Very, very high Americans.
One of the True Believers on the site complained that libruls were messing up the site and there should be some sort of screening to prove one was a Republican voter before one could post an idea.
I thought that was a smashing idea. I proposed a spelling test. Anyone who fails it is a Republican voter and should be allowed to post.
I was having so much fun reading about how America should have bigger birds like ostriches but by the time I got to the third page too many Americans were speaking out and it gave me an error page *frown*
A wonkette poster’s post was quoted in the WaPo article on this Web site. Also.:
“Legalize Marijuana, cause, like, alcohol is legal. Man. Also.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/25/AR2010052504396.html
Either the search function is nonfunctional, or they’re scrubbing any references to many variations of “truck nutz. And soylent green.
Asking for ideas on the internet turns into a clusterfuck? Who didn’t see that coming? Besides Kevin MacCarthy that is.
This is the same thing that happened to the Moon. Also.
“BOW BEFORE THE LORD OF CHANGE. YOUR END HAS ALREADY COME FOLLOWERS OF THE FALSE EMPEROR. YOU CANNOT DEFY HIS INFINITE SCHEMES.”
I lol’d. Warhammer 40K joke, right? Which one of you did that?
“American Values:Protecting Those Things We Hold Dear”… I suggest one of those “cup” things in your jock strap would make an immense and immediate difference, at a very low cost.
Or did it say: “Those things we hold, Dear”, in which case I’m confused as to the exact meaning.
What a great advertisement for Microsoft’s ability to handle this kind of application!
Thanks a lot for the publicity, Rep. McCarthy!
Seriously, instead of building their site with some kind of moon-mapping program, maybe they should have looked around for an application that handles online communities?
I think what the Wonketteers did to ASO would be considered an anal crucifixion in Rush’s memorable turn of phrase.
[re=586259]PickneyPinchback[/re]:
Sadly, the bill for this didn’t kick back to the RNC. It’s paid for by the House Republicans. Meaning taxpayers are paying for it.
There is no love as satisfying as Wonkette love.
I haven’t actually posted any “suggestions” on the GOP’s awesome moon-mapping page. Voting on existing “ideas” is more fun or lazy or whatever.
tHIS iS WHY WEE CAN’T HAVE NISE THINGS 11!!!!!1!!
FINISH THE DANGED FENCE!
It’s been hard for me to figure out teh snark from teh crazee but several of the comments wondered if perhaps ‘Democrats pretending to be Republicans’ hadn’t infiltrated the site. The site that is supposed to be for all ‘Merikans. This is just the way the GOP thinks they can saddle up to the tea drinkers. Won’t work. Not any more than their web site.
Republicans and technology: an endlessly amusing combination. And sad and pathetic and backasswards. But that goes without saying.
Register (it is kind of a pain) and then you can at least vote ‘yea or neh’ on the ideas. One of mine was to pay unemployed folks (like me) to find illegal pot. Then we could sell it and keep the money!
How is this different than that other mass “speak out” the repubs lost control over (i.e. teabaggin’)?
Andeveryone make sure to register to comment at Gawker so we can irritate the shit out of Jim N. when he finally bails.
“Tax IQ points. That’ll teach those east coast elitists. You betcha it will”
Went there and I am yet to see anything about Zombie Reagan replacing Nobama. For some reason I cannot post but I can recommend.
I got a new error!
Server Error in ‘/’ Application.
Runtime Error
Description: An application error occurred on the server. The current custom error settings for this application prevent the details of the application error from being viewed remotely (for security reasons). It could, however, be viewed by browsers running on the local server machine.
Details: To enable the details of this specific error message to be viewable on remote machines, please create a tag within a “web.config” configuration file located in the root directory of the current web application. This tag should then have its “mode” attribute set to “Off”.
That’s an unhandled exception in ASP.net
if they modified the web.comfig we could see exactly how it is failing.
[re=586310]bago[/re]: It is failing because it is failing. You need to know nothing more.
This is the best day I have had for quite awhile, thanks GOP!
[re=586296]Joshua Norton[/re]: <3
A mere hiccup on the Interweb. Works now.
“American Values”
“Capital Punishment should be made cheaper by removing the process to authenticate whether or not someone is actually guilty.”
Money talks. Nobody walks.
[re=586315]S.Luggo[/re]: accusation – due process = profit!
“America needs better insect control.”
For some reason, not accepted.
[re=586310]bago[/re]: I’m impressed that it doesn’t default to providing an entire exception trace (otherwise known as hacking instructions).
Well there was some other stuff, but I didn’t copy that part.
No no no, the Microsoft program helped NASA discover the Moon. I thought I pointed that out already.
I’ll jusrt pos t here:
Dear president Obama and socialist members of senante;
We dont need your ‘goverment cleanup’ here in louisiana. Or the help of you ‘Louisiana national gurad’ or BP or the ‘corpse’ of engineers. We fix things ourselves. if you don’t understand, ask sara Palin abou tit- She seems to get it.
Brent Hitchcock Spears IV, Beaux Bayou
If we can’t trust the gop to run a web site how can we trust them with the country?
Oh wait sorry, go back to what you were doing.
Not that it wasn’t inevitable, but it looks like this website is broken to the max. I mean, I’ve only submitted like 10 or 15 serious to not-as-serious suggestions, so I don’t know what the problem is. Of course, I cannot bring myself to type like them, so my grammar and spelling most likely mark me as a ‘commie pinko faggot’ (which is totally bullshit, because I’m an anarchist). Anyways….
http://www.americaspeakingout.com/users/22151/clankie/my/questions
website fixed: http://wonder-tonic.com/geocitiesizer/content.php?theme=2&music=6&url=http://americaspeakingout.com/
i’m too lazy to do the tiny you r l.
Haha, the GOP: “NO WE CAN’T!”
obfuscator: if by fixed you mean perfected, then yes. Now THAT is what I would expect from a national Republican Party website.
[re=586331]Clankie[/re]: evangelical angelfire geopeecities.
Secure and verifiable e-mail addresses NOW!!!1!
There is nothing funny about cancer, or fresh ideas for Congress.
the 9 scariest words in english language: ‘we’re from the gop, and we made a website.’
[re=586329]obfuscator[/re]: Good Gawd man, look at what you’ve started!
No wonder Newell packed in his truknutz and buttsekd away from here…
[re=586334]obfuscator[/re]: Forget about the ReThugs and their 1997 Geocities webpage – the TRUE LEADER of the GOP is running for Congress in North Carolina, and his name is Timmah… how do you say ‘Reaganesque’ in Teabagger?
Like all good American’s, I refuse to post on the site until they require birth certificates from all posters. I will not have my ideas sullied by being next to those of uncircumcised heathens.
[re=586339]NYNYNY[/re]:
Scary? No, pure comedy gold.
Y’all done broked freedum.
“We should be drilling for oil in populated areas. Oil is created by pressure or something, and cities are probably pretty heavy, so there’s probably a lot of oil under there now. Can’t hurt to find out, anyway. ”
The Wonketteers are in their walls. At least 90% of the ideas are ours.
WE HAVE CAPTURED REAL AMERIKUH!!!!!11
Wingnuts are ironical. By “Americans” of course, they mean only Teabillie Amuricans.
“Moon mapping program”? No wonder it crashed, if they are using 1960′s computer technology…
Site is wonketted out.
Two of the five categories are overloaded, the other three are all dominated by joke comments…
GREAT JOB, GUYS!!!11!!!!!1!
Man, I haven’t laughed so hard since the Camel Toe/Kokomo video came out. I don’t see myself getting much work done today.
[re=586259]PickneyPinchback[/re]: Except they used our tax money on this boondoggle. See, it’s not a ‘political’ site. It’s a way for Congress to stay in touch with constituents. So they say.
[re=586344]Bearbloke[/re]: “I also saw other evidence that indicated the possibility some American Indians were of Hebrew decent.” -Timmuh is awesome! His explanations, point by point, of every crazy thing his wife said he believed are unfuckingbelievable!
[re=586290]Hallux Valgus[/re]: Since the site is taxpayer-funded, then we should throw it back in their faces that House Republicans have thrown away and wasted taxpayer money on a huge failure of a Web site that doesn’t even work. Why isn’t John McCain on this? Hennghh?
When pondering the reasons for the high percentage of Americans currently speaking out, one must consider the Liberal Arts of Rhetoric, and Logic. Rhetoric and Logic were established by the Greeks, the society that produced Socrates, the guy who was the one talking in Plato’s Republic.
Now, James Madison was a student of Plato, and incorporated his teachings into a book called ‘The Federalist Papers’, that Madison wrote with a couple of friends. This went on to become a popular book, and is currently selling many more copies than ‘Dreams of My Father’, which is not necessarily impressive, as sales of ‘Dreams of My Father’ are now zero.
This is noteworthy as ‘Dreams of My Father’ was written only like three years ago by, we are not sure who, but ‘The Federalist Papers’ were written around 240 years ago, by a person who identified himself as ‘Publius’, who was definitely not Bill Ayres, but, was later determined to be Madison and his friends.
Many Americans have a genetic tendency towards mathematics, and thus sense that something is wrong with the government. They process these numbers using Logic and reach their own independent conclusions. The next step along this process is Rhetoric, or the act of communicating one’s opinions in the public realm, in order to assist the community to arrive at something called ‘Truth’.
Thus, likely are the problems with the web-site.
Wow, once again they have deleted all my suggestions. Even the ones that were entirely serious (although completely un-Republican) ways to improve the country. I’m just going to go out on a limb here, and say that the result of this will be that the teabagger’s platform from Maine will be adopted as their national party platform, after getting unprecedented support as the only ideas they do not delete from their site.
When I first heard about this site, I was pissed. It sure seemed like a way to test drive talking points for the election with taxpayer cash, since there’s no chance GOP platform planks are moving as legislation in this Congress and, as initially introduced, the party would only entertain ideas that were in line with existing GOP ideas.
These beautiful ideas, however, have convinced me that this was a valid use of taxpayer money. If only as an exercise in collective therapy for Wonkateers, and a mental health screening test for anyone who actually believes this shit is on the level.
BTW, Mike Pence apparently is on the record as rejecting the idea of “suggestion boxes” at GOP functions since they have all the ideas they need. Wonder what he as one of the “leaders” of the GOP thinks about this website?
[re=586301]chascates[/re]: Monkey butlers, indeed. Well played sir (especially since at least a few Teahadists will vote for it thinking you are suggesting everyong gets their own pet African American – seriously, I worked at Montgomery Ward’s in Hayward in the early 90s, and all the white trash called it Monkey Ward’s. Being a sheltered tolerant Berkeleyite at the time, the racist nature of the name had to be pointed out to me after I started innocently using it.)
Favorite quote so far:
Where all the white women at?
[re=586371]Brick Oven Bill[/re]: Or they didn’t code it properly. I’m going with that.
This tickled my funny bone:
“The US military should adopt the mullet as the official haircut of the armed forces. Symbolically, this style tells Al Kaida that we’re protected from the back. Practically, it offers sun protection and less time on barbershop chairs at military bases and more time kickin’ butt.
1 Total Votes
ANGRYMAN
150 Act Pts”
this too:
”
Arrest all people whose name ends with a ‘z’. Decapitate them and display their headless bodys on the border. And then bombard Mexico city with severed heads from a B-2. It’ll solve illegal immigration problem once and for all.
0 Total Votes
PatriotStraight
135 Act Pts”
Am I banned today at ASO or is it just gebroken?
[re=586377]Clankie[/re]: Yeah. I can no longer even vote for my favorites, although there are still some real gems out there.
I can’t log in this late west coast a.m. Am I banned, and do I need to set up a new account, or is it just out of order?
The site has been totally busted since yesterday, but I was fond of these:
“Why can’t NASA come up with an american version of karate?”
“When my dad was in the military they only had canned milk. I don’t understand that at all.”
“We should invent and patent more colors. Like fuchsia, but not that because it’s already been invented.”
“Stop teaching Arabic numerals. It’s un-American. We need real American numbers.”
I submitted “Create a public option” which actually got quite a few “Yes” votes. What would the Repubicans do if turned out that the majority of Americans are relatively moderate and/or liberal?
Somehow the post that broke me up was:
“KFC’s mashed potatoes taste like pennies.”
My guess is that this one will withstand scrutiny from the post destroyers. It sounds republican enough.
“Capital Punishment should be made cheaper by removing the process to authenticate whether or not someone is actually guilty. It’s absolutely ridiculous how Capital Punishment costs more than life in prison because of this. Let God sort his own out from the rest.”
Dang. The username “libertardian” is already taken
I tried to register but “user” (how did they know before I even registered? This Patriot Act thing has just gotten out of hand) name “OBlivious” was already taken.
Now I’ve got to try “Pacific Rimmer.”
or “Luggage Lifter.”
To register it says I must select an avatar. I can’t – I haven’t seen the movie yet.
[re=586263]Dreamer[/re]: When I first read that I thought it was “More disappointed than a hippie in Omaha.”
Still works, however.
[re=586363]Lunchbox[/re]: This is from the movie “Cat Ballou.” Frankie Ballou kept asking Jason (the Indian) questions in Hebrew. Anyone who hasn’t seen this – or just seen it recently – really should. It’s a classic – and Jane Fonda isn’t very hard to watch, either. Also.
Well, my whole week is planned out now, thanks to americaspeaksout.com!
Looks like they just changed the sorting to default to ‘Most Interest’ bringing the true wingnut responses to the top. What the fuck determines ‘Most Interest’? Why are they trying to take away our freedoms?
Actually all the health care ‘most interest’ things are overwhelmingly in favor of a single payer/government provided health care system. I’m majorly disappointed in losing all my suggestions from yesterday, especially the ones that weren’t really inappropriate, but they seem to be very liberal (sic) with banning people as well. I am on my third account, now known as Clankenstein. Did anyone else notice that there’s no longer a password or security question thing when you create a new account? Wasupwidat? This has got to be seriously the most useless yet highly entertaining expenditure of tax payer money in years, and people reading this blog should understand just how serious an accusation that is.
Our Barracuda Web Filter at work has flagged americaspeaksout.com as a Spam site. I would imagine that wingnuts all over America are now shaking their keyboards in anger as they try to access the web site from their work computers.
I would love to see the red-faced House Republicans as they read the off the wall comments. That would be so much fun…to watch them fuming.
“I tell you what, you have all of these mexicans coming into our contry and causing us to spend money on them. Also, they put trash into my front yard, everyday. Lounging on the corners, selling dope, and putting trash on my front yard. I clean it all up everyday but I come back out the next morning and there it is. More trash in my front yard, and everywhere, not just a few bits or taco wrappers and whatnot. I dont even know how those mexicans do it, cause I’d never seen a one of them. When I was young we would just nab one of those fellas and string them up a tree somewhere. THERES an idea everyone here seems to scared to speak out about! Back in my day we knew how to put some FEAR in those darkies! Keeps em in line.”
I say everyone who can vote in South Carolina needs to vote for Henry McMaster. What are his stances on issues? Who gives a fuck…a guy named McMaster is in the GOP..thy will be done. Since some caveman in a suit will win anyway (since the jeebus Milf has been found to prefer pasty, gross garage adjunct to mom’s house bloggers for sex) it might as well be McMaster. I can think with glee in my heart and head held high of the potential wonkette leads on Boehner stumping McMaster….or Lindsey Graham fund raising for McMaster…the possibilities of this one are truly endless…
WOT ratings page for americaspeaking.com out. Web of Trust (WOT) is run by a company in Finland, users can rate the website on a few scales and leave comments about the site. The scores from each user are averaged out to give an overall rating
http://www.mywot.com/en/scorecard/americaspeakingout.com
Right now these are the scores for the site:
32 – Trustworthiness
26 – Vendor reliability
36 – Privacy
24 – Child Safety
The scores are out of 100. With scores that low attempting to visits the site with the WOT plugin will throw a warning message about an unsafe website. Ironically, the Republican Party itself certainly deserves those scores.
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