Let’s see, we’ve only had five actual Space Shuttles, and two of them have blown up — killing everyone aboard and bumming out the nation for weeks/months — and actually Endeavor was built of old Challenger replacement parts after that shuttle exploded shortly after launch, meaning we started with just four, and half of that original fleet blew up, and it was horrifying. So what’s a good headline for the Atlantis making a safe landing after its final pointless orbits around Earth? Yes, yes, “Space Shuttle Atlantis Boom Adieu” should work nicely. Bonus points for using French, too, so we can suspect terrorism.
FRENCH FAREWELLS
May 26, 2010
Don’t Worry, the Space Shuttle Didn’t Blow Up Again
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“actually Endeavor was built of old Challenger replacement parts”
Go go Wonkette for using the American spelling instead of the British spelling.
http://science.ksc.nasa.gov/shuttle/resources/orbiters/endeavour.html
Meanwhile, on the other CSPAN, Nikki Haley slurps adieu.
My all-time favorite headline from a rural Missouri newspaper story about basketball:
Licking Boys, Girls Advance in State Tournament
Yes, [there] is a Licking, MO.
There’s the one negative from the end of the Cold War; without the need to show our dicks are bigger than the Soviets’ the US no longer has motivation to push forward in space exploration. Although we’re doing great research with the unmanned probes, which have the advantage of not killing anybody if things go wrong.
[re=585761]V572625694[/re]: Hm, I thought female basketball players only licked other girls.
[re=585761]V572625694[/re]: Yeah, there are alot of funky place names in Missouri; my personal favorite is [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bois_D'Arc,_Missouri]Bois D’Arc[/url], which the locals pronounce “Bo-DARK”.
Bidding us adieu with a pair of sonic bazooms would’ve been much more entertaining.
There’s nothing more bitter than the success of a rival, eh, Ken?
[re=585793]Extemporanus[/re]: Jane Russel had sonic bazooms; Howard Hughes had to invent a special sonic bra for her.
[re=585793]Extemporanus[/re]: Why has NASA never given us the one thing Americans most want from the space program – zero-G porn?
[re=585777]DaiMacculate[/re]: Here in Western PA we don’t hold with any foreign-sounding place name pronunciations, even if the name itself is, you know, furrin’. Hence:
Versailles = “Vur-SAYLES
Dubois = “Doo-BOYS”
Don’t even get me started on how to pronounce “Zelienople”
“STS” is Aerospace Engineer-se for “Piece of Shit Designed By NASA Retards.”
You know, like “Rand Paul” is Bioengineer-se for “Stuff That Was Left At The Bottom Of The Petri Dish”?
[re=585826]13ollocks To The Rules[/re]: Of course, you must know the correct pronunciation of “Philadelphia?” Here it is, phonetically: “fucking festering shithole.”
And here, I was just about to apologize for that [re=585793]“bazoom” groaner[/re]…
[re=585814]Prommie[/re]: Quite a few “Strip-O-Grams” sport sonic bazooms, as well:
♪♫ “I heard that you were feeling ill — headache, fever, and a chill…” ♪♫
[re=585824]JMP[/re]: Because the Brits beat us to it, and if there’s one thing Americans don’t want, it’s some limey “assholenaut’s” zero-G sloppy seconds.
But has anyone checked National Review’s take on the subject, “Space Shuttle Atlantis Sends Little Starbursts Through the Screen”?
[re=585793]Extemporanus[/re]: It’s probably worth your while to hunt down a copy of the classic 1961 Doris Wishman film, “Nude on the Moon.”
We’ll always remember all the great science experiments that Atlantis gave us. Like the time it delivered a radiator truss to the ISS. Or how it saved the russian MIR from loneliness, only later to plunge to a fiery death. And all those space crystals, Atlantis grew more zero-G crap than any other shuttle. Atlantis really was the Crystal Ship.
From the link, I echo the sentiments of sumyoungguy:
“Scraping the space program is sad. Well I guess America can use all that money to focus on the more important things like gay marraige, and american idol
”
Indeed.
They shoulda went with “Space Shuttle Go Boom Boom”.
I remember the exact place I was on the day the…uh…hmmmmm…what was I saying?
Its a pretty sad statement on America when are own astronauts are looking to outsource the space program to Mexico.
http://www2.nbc4i.com/news/2009/nov/25/astronaut_says_mexico_needs_its_own_space_program-ar-20095/
[re=586007]GOPCrusher[/re]: I believe the proper word should of been “our”.
[re=585872]DC Hates Me[/re]: Before you slip into unconsciousness… http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvdt1_the-doors-the-crystal-ship_music
[re=585869]One Yield Regular[/re]: Oh man, I have seen many parts of that movie! A video store back in college had most of her films on VHS — some were part of a “Bizzare/Mondo Films” anthology(?), I think.
Back when I lived in a loft, and had friends, and threw parties, and was a cliché, I used to project Wishman, Metzger, and Meyers movies on the wall/ceiling. Guaranteed blowjobs/fingerbangs for everyone, at a minimum.
[re=586203]Extemporanus[/re]: Rebuild the danged loft.
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