While Real American first lady Sarah Palin spent yesterday boarding up her windows with plywood to keep her terrible new spy-journalist neighbor from lookin’ in, America’s elected toned-arms lady Michelle Obama ran around the White House’s South Lawn hopping like a bunny rabbit and picking fights with other people’s children. Obama’s just launched a new program called Let’s Move to encourage kids to put down their frozen PorkPops and Crisco Crunchers and burn off some calories before they get super-sized. What is Michelle Obama’s new five-year fitness plan all about?
Oh, you know, the usual Communist things:
In remarks she gave to the assembled group of kids wearing “Let’s Move” t-shirts, she asked them to make a promise “that you will do your best to get that 60 minutes in every single day, and that you will find other people in your family and your schools and encourage them to do the same thing.”
What followed was a good 30 minutes of structured play and exercise with help from Washington area sports teams conditioning personnel.
Interestingly, Fox News quotes Obama as telling the impressionable youngsters that they’re going to “have to go home and take some of what you learn here and teach your families and the other kids in your schools,” or else be sent off to jihadist fat camps. This is what she really said, because Fox News reports the truth 100% of the time.
Giving kids government-issued propaganda clothes, making them “play by the rules” and telling them to spread the doctrine of radical playtime philosophy to their friends and coworkers — it’s only a matter of time before we’re all required to participate in synchronized gymnastics festivals like the North Koreans. The jumping red youth in the official Let’s Move logo is just a non-too-subtle harbinger of things to come. At least we can say we were warned.
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The First LAdy is going to turn America’s youth into a bunch of line-dancing Filipino prisinors. for shame.
I would have preferred t-shirts reading “Back Da Fuck Up On it.”
Exercise? Healthy food? This proves how out of touch with the American people the Obamas are. Supersized sodas and fat processed foods are what made us the nation we are today.
I smell conspiracy. Let’s Move is just a derivation of Let’s MoveOn.org. And when that kid lands on that kickball in that position, the results are not going to be soothing.
I, for one, welcome our bumpin’ and grindin’ overlords.
Unless they’re Sweating to the Oldies.
Could we get someone to board up Sarah’s house…while she is in it??
Good catch on that Red Kid. BTW: Running Lets Move through the Anagram Generator results in: Love Stem.
Why didn’t FOX report on the Obama hidden agenda of the Love Stem???? Losers.
If there are no more fat kids, who will all the jocks pick on? Think of the jocks, Mrs. Obama!
HOLY SHIT!!!1!1! I can see Russia from Joe McGinniss’ house.
What’s with Palin’s obsession with trying to make every reference to her daughter sound dirty? The repeated implication that some one is peeking in her daughter’s bedroom is just sick.
And while the usual suspects will whine about ‘Nanny State’ and “how can we think of kids’ playing while the coast is dying” remember:
I believe anyone can make the time. As a matter of fact, I don’t believe it-I know it. If the President of the United States can make the time, anyone can.
Exercise is so important that corporate America should help its employees make time. There should be flextime for families, and there should be flextime for exercise. A healthy work force is a more productive work force. We have got to do a better job of encouraging exercise in America.
It’s interesting that my times have become faster right after the war began. They were pretty fast all along, but since the war began, I have been running with a little more intensity. And I guess that’s part of the stress relief I get from it. For me, the psychological benefit is enormous. You tend to forget everything’s that going on in your mind, and just concentrate on the time, distance, or the sweat. It helps me to clear my mind.
Fat Panels.
Exercise = good thing. Design of that logo = bad thing.
Is there something subliminal going on with that kid over the ball? I turned the logo upside down and got, like, totally weirded out.
Oh, why is that one legged red kid so happy, anyway? And shouldn’t the kid be obese so that obese kids can identify?
“Look Mommy, that red androgynous kid looks like me, only..like…uh…actually active. First Lady Obama says it is okay for me to put down the Doritos, take my 300 pound self out on the stoop and be bouncin’ all around.”
I seriously doubt Sarah Palin even knew who Joe McGinniss was before this. His books don’t have pictures.
The day I die will be the day they claw the 124 oz Big Gulp, 2 pound Super-sizor Fries, and Triple Whopper with Cheese from my hands. All three of them.
When fat is outlawed, only outlaws will have Blubbernuggets.
[re=585684]Mr Blifil[/re]: Considering that the kid in the logo appears to be sportin’ a pointy little Barack O-boner, that would’ve indeed been more apropos.
That said, the first “Let’s Move” workout video looks pretty effective.
If you scroll the logo “Let’s Move” back and forth on your screen fast the jumping kid looks like it’s falling head-first into the ground. That’s what children’s play is like, anyway, so it makes perfect sense to me.
As a person of girth, I am wholly offended, and intend to go to a Belgian resaurant and order freedom fries with mayonaise. Lots of mayonaise. Not “French” fries, because those are for Darling Nikki in SC, who really likes to “French” things, like (gasp) political bloggers that looklike bald Blubbernuggets with teeth.
[re=585707]Baby who ate the Dingo[/re]: We scoff at your Triple Whopper:
http://www.cspinet.org/nah/articles/xtremeeating2010.html
Is that an ACORN in between the “M” and the “V”??
I appreciate the Communist love of insanely huge spectacle. It’s the magic of scale: one pre-teen contorting herself out of a love for her leader and country? Sort of creepy. 500 doing it against a background of what can only be described as a human jumbotron? Fucking BOSS.
BTW, several of my kid’s patriotic classmates tore up their “Presidential Fitness Awards” – apparently as a protest against the fact that it was “signed” by the terrorist, undocumented alien imposter from the White House.
[re=585730]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Jesus. Where do you live? I remember hating Reagan because my parents did, but we were still taught respect of the office.
[re=585701]Ruhe[/re]: It is in pretty bad shape, but I do like the way Lauri managed to work in her signature apple ([re=585726]“Marxist ACORN”[/re]) when she designed it.
[re=585704]One Yield Regular[/re]: I turned it upside down, and I got this: WTF?!
Joe McGinness is something of a dick, pretending to be something he’s not in order to “get the story.” Ask Jeff MccDonald if he thinks Joe treated him fairly — and who’s a better judge of character than a man who murdered his family and tried to pretend some Manson-wannabees did it instead?
That said, it would be awesome if McGinness can fool Palin into thinking he’s her buddy, rather than just another horny dude stalking Bristol.
Grab yourself a can of pork soda
You’ll be feeling just fine
Nothing quite like sitting around the house
Swilling down those cans of swine
Republicans immediately and unanimously voted against regular exercise.
What about the R.O.U.S.’s? The Rugrats Of Unusual Size?
Imagine the hoopla if she actually bared her arms. Or wore tights.
[re=585759]comicbookguy[/re]: I think those ROUS were the trainers.
[re=585734]Doglessliberal[/re]: The Red part of New Joisey…
LET’S MOVE! Those of you whose papers are not in order, you have a long hike ahead of you.
Wait, why did they bring in “Washington area sports teams conditioning personnel”? All that anyone from the Nationals, Wizards, or Racistnames could teach the kids is how to continually lose, year after year, until they become laughingstocks in their respective leagues.
[re=585715]Extemporanus[/re]: ZOMG I think that video’s NSFW but I can’t quite put my finger on why. Allz I no is I feel dirty after having had watched it. Stoopider too. I especially liked the guy clicking his heels like a leprechaun, even though I have a little bit of a sad that I’m never invited to dance/house parties where such goings on go on.
This is intended as a bitchslap at Rick Perry’s “Fed Up”.
Today, we are all obese.
Let’s Move Bowels!
[re=585719]hoosiermama[/re]: I think the kid is diving headfirst into something. Probably a swimming pool full of gravy and bacon.
I never thought I’d see a giant red period used so effectively outside
of a tampon commercial.
Why are the Obama’s so cruelly critical of Trig by going and dissing his Down Syndromeness and that he can’t jump over an anthill not to mention an exercise ball and the lamestream giving them a pass on this obvious insult to those who love the little shit. Why????
It strikes me that that poor little Iraqistani child is just trying to surrender.
“… you will do your best to get that 60 minutes in every single day…”
What followed was a good 30 minutes of structured play and exercise with help from Washington area sports teams conditioning personnel.
Very good. They’re already giving it 50%. Well done Realz Merkins.
[re=585834]Sharkey[/re]: Personally, I was hoping it would like the kid was flying headfirst from a Hippity-Hop, but no dice.
My kid’s kind of chunky but I’ll be damned if I will let him play in a park with other children, some of whom may be of different ethnicities. Better to get him an indoors exercise toy where I can keep an eye on who he associates with, which is nobody.
[re=585767]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: aha. Well, sorry.
[re=585734]Doglessliberal[/re]: Here in God(forsaken) country (aka Idaho), you only respect the office if it is held by a Republican. Which may explain why I am moving the fuck out in a few months. My daughter’s civics teacher offers extra credit to students who attend Tea Party meetings, so I shouldn’t be surprised by the rest of the shit she teaches.
[re=585719]hoosiermama[/re]: Dude, that’s what I thought at first when I saw it – that that kid was taking a terrible header and will be paralyzed. Good thing the little bastard has the tyrannical forced healthcare now.
[re=585887]mayor_quimby[/re]: Dude, that’s what I thought at first when I saw it – that that kid was taking a terrible header and will be paralyzed
kids are made out of rubber, silly. But we still need to start the Obamar Children Fat Camps, where we’ll generate electricity from their activities and ring in a new era of energy efficiency and child slavery.
I never appreciated how subtle and understated the Super Bowl half-time show was until I watched that synchronized gymnastics video.
Please don’t show the video in Wasilla. I picture Todd and Sarah getting all bedroom eyes watching the dancing eggs at 5:30, and out will plop another one.
[re=585704]One Yield Regular[/re]: [re=585738]Extemporanus[/re]: Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger. Mmmm, cheeseburger …
Let’s all do squat thrusts!
BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA HMMMM HMMMM HMMMM!
Move On! (Dot Org)
A government hostile-takeover of exercise!
{re=585748]Mad Farmer Manifest[/re]: Not far off the mark there, Farmer guy.
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