Joining this Spring’s Mexican Border Hysteria on the Eve of Summer, Barack Obama ordered 1,200 soldiers of his elite palace legion dispatched to the frontier of Barbarian Land, in hopes of silencing the Senate and the restless southwestern provinces. The National Guard troops will join another 340 guardsmen and guardswomen already hanging around the border. It’s a quiet front, what with the end of jobs in America due to the economic collapse, and the shrill insanity of Arizona’s anti-brown-people law — undocumented workers tended to want to come here for work, not to be arrested and harassed by wingnuts and soldiers. Lurching clown John McCain has, of course, demanded 6,000 troops to guard the southern border of the state he occasionally visits, to get more wads of hundreds and Ambien tablets from Cindy’s purse. [Wall Street Journal/Los Angeles Times]- Hillary Clinton arrived in Seoul last night to solve the latest North Korea/South Korea freakout. So if there’s a nuclear war today, her diplomacy failed. [BBC News]
- The U.S. agency that regulates oil drilling in America had a very special office in Lake Charles, Louisiana: The drug-addled porn-addicted staff routinely took gifts from the industry they were supposedly regulating and finished the oil officials’ paperwork to make sure it was just right. Meanwhile, oil spill cleanup workers are getting sick and today BP will try some other sketchy method to stop the crude gushing into the Gulf. [WBRZ-The Advocate/LAT/]
May 27, 2012
Barack Obama’s Border Army Will Defeat Mexico
by Ken Layne 8:03 am May 26, 2010
{ 40 comments }
Ha ha, the BP guys filled out the “inspection” forms in pencil and then the hard-working civil servants traced the writing with pens. See, free enterprise works great!
Kinda miss Cindy McCain. It was fun to think about how her body had been sculpted to 25-year-old perfection by the finest plastic surgeons in La Jolla. She’s probably upgraded her face a few times since leaving the electoral spotlight. it’s good news for Juan McCain!
Big Oil rules. We knew they fucked up energy policies, the environment is the gravy.
“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
that’s pig latin for “who’s the dipshit who turned all these psychotic apes loose on this planet?”
(i know, that doesn’t help much. here, try this: beware of pretty girls, young men, old men, men with guns, and people in love. everybody else, including pretty boys, women with guns, and people filled with hate, gets a free pass. border’s thataway. keep your heads down and your shoes on, a hard rain’s going to fall.)
[re=585352]V572625694[/re]: maybe part of that reconstruction was motivated by Juan’s fit of pique! ‘Member the cast on her arm b/c of a “handshake”? More guards in Arizona could be good news for Cindy McCain!
G W “Shrub” Bush would have bombed Korea by now. Possibly the Philippines as well. What is Nobama waiting for.
This kinda highlights the general insanity of the OMG TEH ILLEGALS ARE (not actually) CAUSING ALL THESE CRIMES AND ARE (again, not really) CROSSING THE BORDER IN RECORD NUMBERS WE’RE UNDER SEIGE nonsense. We already have troops there, who are basically doing nothing, because there’s nothing to do, and we’re going to send more on a pointless snipe hunt, because wingnuts and racists are being insane, and racist. What an excellent use of our resources!
Democrats have this amazing ability to undermine their own base of support, don’t they? I mean, here we’ve got America’s Hispanic population up in arms about the Arizona immigration law, ready to vote against any and everyone with an (R) next to his name, and the Obama administration announces a “me too” plan that basically tells them “Hey, Latinos, we’re scared of you, too.” And of course, the move will be mockingly savaged on talk radio as “too little, too late.” Hell, the Obama administration could mine the border and circle armed Predator drones with shoot-on-sight orders and talk radio would still call it half-measures.
Sigh…
plz more pics of Barack-Michelle sexytime.
So is any work getting done in AZ? Do lazy white guys actually have a monopoly on picking tomatoes or landscaping now?
[re=585356]x111e7thst[/re]: Arbusto woulda bombed May-hee-koh too because why not? Don’t have to fly so far, saves JP-8. Takin our jobs, or doing the jobs Amurricans won’t do, or driving down the price of labor in Amurrica! Whatever–scramble the B-52s!
To hell with the King’s Household Cavalry going to the border, let’s plug the BP well with Mesicans….
Hengh? Why does Nobama hate Our Nation’s Military, sending them to yet another sun-bleached hellhole in the middle of summer? As a recruitment marketing ploy, we ought to invade one country with reasonable weather. Even England would be mo better than Saharazona — revenge for the Brits shitting into OUR Gulf of Mexico.
¡Migros, resistencia es fútil!
I say invade Mexico, send it’s leaders to Gitmo and convert the population to Christianity.
[re=585361]zhubajie[/re]: Watch for the Emergency Lawn Care Immigration Act of 2011
[re=585364]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]:
Top 5 U.S. Invasion Plans if What Fresh Hell were Def. Secretary:
1) Marseilles, this time of year.
2) Annecy, right around the time of the annual flower festival.
3) Madrid (with a stop by the Prado and the Picasso museum)
4) Kyoto, Japan: at the height of the cherry blooms
5) Cancun, Mexico: mid-March, when the beaches are packed with svelte hotties on Spring Break.
Does the right-wing even care about North Korea any more? I mean Kim Jong Il stone cold sank a South Korean ship and the top story on the Weekly Standard is some bitching about Egypt. I mean the one country that seems like its itching to start something, and none of the usual crowd of beltway soldiers is rattling their swords about it.
Cruder minds might think this has something to do with Israel not really caring about South Korea.
Maybe TV Land will do its patriotic duty and have a M*A*S*H marathon.
[re=585364]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Having participated, in various age- & experience-driven capacities, in our various military adventures around the world since the 1970s, I have to agree you on the hellhole aspect. In my early adulthood, our wars took place in locales where, when you got a little R&R you could drive up the road or catch a hop and get shitfaced and bang hookers and have a blast. Nowadays, 3 months in Afghanistan earns you 3 beers a day for 4 days in an air-conditioned tent at Al-Udeid Air Base in Qatar, and your travel days are part of those 4 days. War in Muslim countries truly is hell.
[re=585352]V572625694[/re]:
I figured Cindy McCain was bound for the mother/daughter wet T-Shirt biker rally circuit. I hear you can make a decent living in North Dakota if you stay off the meth.
Ugh; it’s tiring to have Obama trying to appease the nutcases yet again. Yes, we really need to send more troops to the border to prevent people from crossing, so they will — uh, be here, and work some shitty jobs. Yep, those border crossers are a big threat to uh, well absolutely nobody but they’re not quite white and speak a different language!
[re=585376]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Flagass addendum:
Maldives: See ‘em before they go all sub-aqueous n’ shit and there’s no place for an LCM to land.
Queensland, Australia: Ditto the Great Barrier Reef. Bonus: a US invasion will piss Peter Garrett off enough that he’ll get Midnight Oil back together.
Phuket, Thailand: Do I need to define “LBFM”?
“The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line.”
See? If there’s no Godfather quote for a given situation there’s always Star Wars as the go-to backup source.
[re=585392]FlownOver[/re]: “The more you tighten your grip, the more systems will slip through your fingers”. Also.
[re=585396]mumblyjoe[/re]: And, of course, the really great all-purpose “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
[re=585391]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: That would be better than Peter Garrett selling out all his principles as “Environment Minister” allowing corporations to build pulp mills in Tasmania and saying that he’s changed his mind about “US Forces” (ie Pine Gap).
Yes, “These aren’t the illegals you’re looking for.”
When you think about it, C3PO and R2D2 were illegals on Tatooine.
[re=585376]Serolf Divad[/re]: Siena and Lugano have terrible Messican problems. Also both Chipping Campden and the Salzkgammergut have obtained yellow cake uranium from Niger. And women in the Cyclades are baring their breasts — BARING THEIR BREASTS! And it would be fiscally-conservative to invade Greece.
[re=585378]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]:
Of course not. They’ll only do what Likuid tells them to do.
If Kim Jong Il suddenly found Islam and oil, well, that’s another story all together.
Two birds with one stone: Solve the border problem by moving the border back a few hundred miles and then ceding coastal Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama to Mexico so they can deal with the Gulf and BP.
[re=585406]Numbat Dundee[/re]: Yeah, that fucker sure did talk the talk, but failed to walk the walk when he got the chance. Sad.
Trouble in Lake Charles, Loosehanah? I blame that little Bessie girl I once knew for this. She told me just to come on over if there’s anything she could do.
Hope someone gets that.
[re=585408]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I distinctly remember an editorial cartoon in the paper when I was a kid that showed R2D2 & C3PO in the desert surrounded by la migra. This was probably 1978? In Phoenix. Nothing ever changes in this fucking country, not since about 1970.
I doubt we’re going to find enough real Americans to shovel all the oil soaked sand off those Gulf shore beaches. I would estimate it will take about 11 or 12 million folks, who are looking for any kind of work they can get, and are already here in the country – anyone know such a demographic we could tap into?
[re=585452]PabaBritannica[/re]: sounds like at that office in Lake Charles they were always dipping their donuts in each other’s tea
Send all the troops to the Arizona border. We Texans need the illegalz to do our shitty jobs. I think California feels the same way.
[re=585386]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: Your point is well taken sir. We use to invade places like Panama and Grenada, where the beer was cold and the wimmens took US type Ameros. Even Vietnam seems like a military paradise in comparison, endless rivers of Mekong and all the “Me love you long time” a man could stand for $2 ($5 for the Air Force and Navy, of course).
The only way we’re going to meet our recruiting and retention goals if we continue to muck about in the Middle East is if the military develops an Islamic five dollar hooker and some type of alcoholic beverage that isn’t derived from wheat or “the grape” (no, soldiers do not drink mead, at least not since 1066 anyway).
“It’s simply way too small of a number. It’s one person for every two miles of fence. And if you look at the 24/7 manning, then it’s even like one for every six miles. That doesn’t get it. We need 3,000 guard just in Arizona alone. … In some ways, this is more of a gesture than anything that could really have the kind of impact that we need to have to really secure our border.”
- Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz
What don’t all of these goddamn patriots shut off their computers, waddle down to the border, and shake their fists south?
[re=585509]chascates[/re]: Yeah, it’s a shame there’s no such thing as “binoculars” or “motor vehicles” or “limited traversable terrain”, because as it stands, there’s no way that we can man the border, unless we have enough troops to link hands along the entire border and physically stand there blocking people, Red Rover style.
[re=585471]Norbert[/re]: [re=585452]PabaBritannica[/re]:
But I’d really like to see my Bessie again.
Comments on this entry are closed.