NICCCCEEE  5:16 pm May 25, 2010

South Carolina Blogger Claiming Affair Won’t Stop Bragging About How He Had Sex

by Jim Newell

And this is why politicians shouldn’t have ALLEGED affairs with fucking political bloggers: they *will* act like children in the aftermath. (That, and most are ugly, too.)

Will Folks, the South Carolina Republican blogger who claimed yesterday to have had an affair with gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley, is having so much fun being famous, posting all of his awesome sex photos and what not. He posted this one today, writing, “Seriously … how funny is this?” Oh my god. “It’s a framed photo of Mark Sanford, Nikki Haley and Sic Willie following a fundraiser for Haley back in 2007. Let the bidding begin!”

Okay it is pretty funny.

Meanwhile, the evidence is mounting that some sort of hanky-panky did occur, but we want to be absolutely sure on this one before making a judgment since — again — this is a political blogger claiming to have had sex with a lady.

[FITS News, Salon]

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Troubledog May 25, 2010 at 5:20 pm

It’s like he’s a little pocket Breitbart.

comicbookguy May 25, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Her handwriting is not very readable, but I believe it says, “Thanks for all the friendly support – in your mattress – and I do mean friendly ha ha… looking forward to sexytime in Fall 2010! XXOXOX”

Didn’t read Mar Sanford’s long winded screed, but I’m sure it made some reference to a hiking trail.

bfstevie May 25, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Gee, Mr. Newell, can you read the inscriptions for us? We know you’re good at deciphering that kind of stuff.

Buzz Feedback May 25, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Sanford looks like a cardboard cut out. He looks like a cancer patient. And she reminds me of a poor-man’s Angie Harmon. Nikki wins the afternoon.

Katydid May 25, 2010 at 5:26 pm

[re=584926]Troubledog[/re]: Nice.

zhubajie May 25, 2010 at 5:27 pm

So he had sex with both of them? At the same time?

BigDupa May 25, 2010 at 5:28 pm

So bald guy gets more tail than a ginger (both being political bloggers)?

Lucidamente May 25, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Come to Butthead . . .

neoplatonic May 25, 2010 at 5:32 pm

To be fair, when I have sex (with someone else), I usually can’t stop bragging about it either.

V572625694 May 25, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Notice that Jim keeps repeating:

“…again — this is a political blogger claiming to have had sex with a lady.”

Michelle’s just waiting for your call, Jim!

Bearbloke May 25, 2010 at 5:33 pm

So which of these people is Sanford’s Argentine lover?

snideinplainsight May 25, 2010 at 5:33 pm

“Folks is planning to tell the media about your affair.”

“Shouldn’t that be, ‘Folks are planning to tell the media’ about my affair?”

“Er, no. Folks generally don’t know about it yet, but Folks is planning to tell tomorrow.”

“I see. Could it be that folks generally aren’t interested?”

Oh, whatever. I got nothing.

Gratuitous World May 25, 2010 at 5:34 pm

“evidence is mounting” hey-o!

Oldskool May 25, 2010 at 5:34 pm

If I looked like him at that age and got any action from any woman, let alone a nicun’, it’d be on a banner behind an airplane.

Lucidamente May 25, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Check out the guy she officially sleeps with:

jus_wonderin May 25, 2010 at 5:35 pm

I have missed this story somehow. That lady on the right had alleged sex with the guy in the middle? Uh, why? Or maybe, how? Was threat of injury or chains involved?

I really am puzzled.

Ducksworthy May 25, 2010 at 5:35 pm

[re=584935]zhubajie[/re]: This is an unfortunate crop but yes. In her left hand is a tube of Intimate Lubricant Gell.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla May 25, 2010 at 5:36 pm

He didn’t say “affair,” he said “inappropriate physical relationship.” Nikki gives head apparently. And I hope it’s true, because that would mean it could happen to anyone.

BTW, how do cell phone records help to prove that someone gave you a blow job?

bobwurst May 25, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Either he’s telling the truth and it’s another nail in the family values coffin, or he’s lying and it’s another nail in the coffin of right-wing media cred. Either way, it’s a win for mccain…

jus_wonderin May 25, 2010 at 5:40 pm

[re=584946]neoplatonic[/re]: “(with someone else)”

I am currently in that stage of my life where, when I have sex with myself, I have to beg/grovel/plead and then thank myself profusely after.

bobwurst May 25, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Nikki, did you make him shave his head before he went south? Rug burns on the insides of your thighs are so difficult to explain…

ManchuCandidate May 25, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Photo taken just before Haley became the meat in a Palmetto State Sandwich.

Extemporanus May 25, 2010 at 5:42 pm

[re=584950]snideinplainsight[/re]: “Th-Th-Th-Th-Th…That’s all Folks!”

Ducksworthy May 25, 2010 at 5:42 pm

She’s a sikh methodist. They’re the best.

peanutbutterjellytime May 25, 2010 at 5:44 pm

[re=584953]Lucidamente[/re]: Haha, it’s like she traded up her Michael Chiklis look-alike for a James Carville impersonator. Or traded down. Your choice. whatever….

Greg Comlish May 25, 2010 at 5:48 pm

[re=584957]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: I read “inappropriate physical relationship” as him going down on her, but I could be wrong.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s cell phone records that’s he’s offering as proof. I think it’s that he has text messages and emails of the “u suk hed so good im cumming jus thinking bout u :)” genus.

Capitol Hillbilly May 25, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Hey everybody, I screwed a girl, I am not a weirdo.

Extemporanus May 25, 2010 at 5:54 pm

[re=584953]Lucidamente[/re]: [re=584965]Ducksworthy[/re]: Nikki Haley’s husband is an Indian giver.

Citizen Kang May 25, 2010 at 5:56 pm


I know!!! It happens so infrequently that I can’t help but verbally recount the thing as often as I can to everyone in earshot.

Scarab May 25, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Inappropriate fashion choices anyway.

V572625694 May 25, 2010 at 6:04 pm

[re=584957]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Maybe the next message traffic will be definitive:

Will Folks: Hey, Nikki, get over here and suck my dick, right now!
Nikki Haley: Okay!

stew May 25, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Sex with a guy who must be living in his mothers’ basement (natural habitat for bloggers)? Still skeptical…

ph7 May 25, 2010 at 6:08 pm

A CBSnews blogger is having fun with this:

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney has issued a full-throated statement of support for Nikki Haley, the South Carolina Republican gubernatorial candidate with whom a prominent Republican blogger alleged he had an “inappropriate physical relationship.”

Rotundo May 25, 2010 at 6:09 pm

“Thanks for your friendship and support!” So I take it by support it means he held her up against the wall, or it was the “wheelbarrow” thing. The e-mail trail and call records etc. (do you s’pose, in true repuke shitweasel fashion, he taped the calls?) will make for good reading. Get out the popcorn folks, anuther ‘un is fixin to splatter all over.

stew May 25, 2010 at 6:11 pm

[re=585016]stew[/re]: By the way, no offense Ken–I’m sure YOUR basement abode is Trim Central.

Mr Blifil May 25, 2010 at 6:15 pm

[re=584957]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Phone statements are a lot more comprehensive nowadays than they were when I was a boy.

comicbookguy May 25, 2010 at 6:16 pm

I’m sure he had inappropriate physical contact with that picture.

ManchuCandidate May 25, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Exactly. Probably confused hand party with actual sexytime party. Either way, pretty creepy.

Dr. Zoidberg May 25, 2010 at 6:21 pm

[re=584959]jus_wonderin[/re]: Wow, you get to have sex with yourself? I’m always turning myself down because, frankly, I’m a bit of a loser.

DemmeFatale May 25, 2010 at 7:33 pm

No “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” jokes? C’mon guys and gals, it’s like you’re not even trying!

Allyson May 25, 2010 at 7:42 pm

“…this is a political blogger claiming to have had sex with a lady.”
Darn it, now I can’t get RuPaul’s “LadyBoy” out of my head

akaoni May 25, 2010 at 9:02 pm

Wait, is that Jim “Jeff Gannon” Guckert??!?!

beezie687 May 25, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Worst. Threeway. Ever.

chascates May 25, 2010 at 10:22 pm

The lady in question appears to have a mustache:

XOhioan May 25, 2010 at 11:20 pm

As a female with a fondness for pretty men, I would like to thank Nikki and that abstinence video lady for keeping all of the ugly men busy.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin May 25, 2010 at 11:35 pm

Look at that dirty R/skinhead-with-candystripe-tie.

zhubajie May 25, 2010 at 11:36 pm

[re=584955]jus_wonderin[/re]: Triple-header!

zhubajie May 25, 2010 at 11:48 pm

[re=584953]Lucidamente[/re]: What is it about those eyes? She’s weird and the kids are weird. Is this the Omen in real life?

Palemoon May 26, 2010 at 12:36 am

Personally, I don’t think it’s true. Much as I hate the GOP, I still think this is simply a publicity campaign for the blogger, while also being a sympathy campaign for the candidate. He gets his 15 minutes of fame, his blog generates lots of traffic, she gets lots of sympathy votes when it’s revealed and/or tied to her opponent as a way to attempt to make the Dems look bad in general.

RPolanski May 26, 2010 at 5:29 am

Does Nikki Haley bear a close resemblance to the Guvnah’s mistress, or am I just seeing things again.

Baldar T Flagass May 26, 2010 at 9:04 am

I dunno about them MMF 3-ways, unless she agrees to reach down and make sure my genitalia didn’t accidentally touch the other guy’s genitalia. That would creep me out.

snideinplainsight May 26, 2010 at 9:26 am

He’s the anti-furry!

GOPCrusher May 26, 2010 at 12:16 pm

Until the video shows up on the internet, I’m skeptical of this claim of a blogger having sex. With a woman. A live woman.

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