Palin Bombs At Trade Show; Could Her Speech Scam Be Finished?

  lazy snowbilly grifter

Hope you liked the free food, slob.Sleazy grifter Sarah Palin has been raking in the money at various conventions and trade shows, because she became famous in late 2008 when a shameless old man thought she might help his doomed presidential campaign. But Palin’s relatively small fan base — maybe 2 million dumb people in a nation of 309 million? — may have spent all the money they have to spend on her idiot shenanigans and shameless embrace of the liberal celebrity lifestyle. Plus, she keeps giving the same stupid “campaign speech” at these events — hardly bothering to even mention the industry that paid her six figures to show up and spew her ignorant nonsense.

Jason Linkins quotes the Dirt Lawyer blog:

Speaking of disappontement, let’s talk about the keynote address from Sarah Palin. In short, it was a standard stump speech with a few superficial comments about shopping centers and retail real estate. It was awful and a borderline train wreck in my opinion. All Palin had to do was add in a paragraph about the pending disaster of carried interest and she would have not only won over the crowd but gotten significant fundraiser cash from the industry if she runs in 2012. As it stands, I do not know if she knows what carried interest is.

Why does Sarah Palin hate the nation’s commercial real estate owners and developers? Does she simply hate America?

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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105 comments

  1. Joshua Norton

    Hey, if they want more than her usual string of word salad platitudes, they’ll have to shell out the really big bucks.

    All’s these suckers do is pay her to show up and give a campaign speech.

  2. What Fresh Hell is This?

    Meh. Everything to say about Sarah Palin has already been said. Move along.

  3. actor212

    “Carried Interest” for Sarah Palin is either the woman who almost single-handedly got Prohibition passed or is what she’s paid in those brown paper bags by her hedge fund handlers.

  4. JMP

    Come on now, giving a speech that’s appropriate for the specific audience would mean learning something, and Sarah is too much of an intellectually disabled to do that.

  5. Joshua Norton

    “Why does Sarah Palin hate the nation’s commercial real estate owners and developers?”

    Hey, give her a break. She can see real estate from her house, so she knows all about it.

  6. ttommyunger

    I promise you, if her bookings flag, she will be appearing topless, then bottomless, etc. This shameless little cunt would no doubt suck elephant dicks for a dime a herd if it came down to that. Don’t worry about Sarah, she’ll do fine; until she loses her looks.

  7. sigerson

    Hahahahahaha. Does Sarah Palin know what carried interest is? Does the Pope have a wife?

  8. thehelveticascenario

    I don’t think a paragraph about the pending disaster of carried interest would have fit on her palm. Or in her brain.

  9. Army of None

    Who has signed up for Bristol’s $30,000 a pop speeches yet? What a pair of golden-tongued inspirational figures!

  10. Dookie Blanket

    Why the shopping mall people would have her in the first place is beyond me. Remember, her expertise is in energy, particularly offshore drilling.

    You would think with $12 million she could hire somebody to write an audience-appropriate speech, but I guess she’s plowing all that $ into the huge addition to the estate she claims will be a playroom for the kids and grandkid.

  11. The Church of Realism

    Carried interest, isn’t that what Piper was doing with her Gucci handbag?

  12. The Church of Realism

    [re=584768]Dookie Blanket[/re]: Don’t forget the pinatas filled with meth…

  13. JMP

    “As it stand, I do not know if [Palin] knows…”

    Yes, you do. Whatever you’re talking about, Palin knows nothing.

  14. Panquake

    See see, all you people thinking she should show some “expertise” or maybe some “factual knowledge” are just upset because you paid Sarah Palin to maybe have something to do with caring, but Palin’s career, and the Tea Party movement, is based on not giving one iota of fuck to what’s actually being said. It’s all empty noise and a stupid woman snidely criticizing people who have accomplished something in their lives. You’re asking people to have some shame of their utter ignorance, when instead it’s pure 100% pride.

    So you can have your smartypants knowledge and undergraduate degrees; it doesn’t matter. You’re attempting to embarrass these people over their stupidity, when in fact their stupidity is the very badge of honor that they are throwing in your face. There is nothing here. You’re ransacking a verbal hologram, trying to seek out meaning. It’s just anger making noises at itself.

  15. Snarkalicious

    [re=584768]Dookie Blanket[/re]: What reason did Davey K give for his expansions? Just curious.

  16. actor212

    [re=584762]ttommyunger[/re]: Um, thanks for that image. I don’t think there’s enough bleach for my brain…

  17. Wonderman

    Hang in there everyone. She’s gonna HAVE to do a nude photo shoot soon. HAVE TO.

  18. Capitol Hillbilly

    “As it stands, I do not know if she knows what carried interest is.”

    Ok, i’m gonna go out on a limb here and say … NO.

  19. smitallica

    “As it stands, I do not know if she knows what _______________ is.”

    Insert host industry for every Palin keynote speech from now until this 15 minutes is finally, blessedly over.

  20. Oldskool

    I imagine the crowd was pumped at first, then started staring at each other. In other words, Borat at the rodeo.

  21. GOPCrusher

    [re=584762]ttommyunger[/re]: Absolutely. I foresee her doing a Playboy pictorial before 2012.

  22. chascates

    She’s going to speak to the Bowling Proprieters’ group in June and if that isn’t her target audience then grits ain’t groceries.

  23. Joey Ratz

    …All Palin had to do was add in a paragraph about the pending disaster of carried interest and she would have not only won over the crowd but gotten significant fundraiser cash from the industry if she runs in 2012…

    What the fuck? Seriously, we already knew that Palin’s a moron, but are real estate people really this fucking stupid?

  24. Rasvar

    Heck, I don’t know what carried interest is. Then again, I’m not raking in insane amounts of money to stand in front of people and be stupid. I’m open to give it a try if someone wants to pay me that money, though.

  25. Tundra Grifter

    [re=584761]Joshua Norton[/re]: She can also see the author who moved in next door. Did you read her pathetic ramblings about that?

    WoW!

  26. jus_wonderin

    That photo is begging for a tin cup and a handful pencils. And a Acme leg cast.

  27. Tundra Grifter

    The only surprising thing about this is that someone is actually expressing surprise The Gov’Nor didn’t know what she was talking about. Quelle shock!

    If he’d seen the Katic Couric interview it would have been “case closed.”

    You betcha!

  28. Snarkalicious

    [re=584792]GOPCrusher[/re]: Hef would have to have to die first. I, for one, am much happier as long as he continues to win at life, thus keeping us all from suffering that particular failure.

  29. chascates

    [re=584797]Tundra Grifter[/re]: She was thinkin’ of makin’ a pie for him to show Alaska-style hospitality and the friendliness that proves how great real Americans are in small towns away from the coasts and elites.

    Also.

  30. populucious

    “And how about that carried interest, huh?”

    There, fixed. Now you can donate to your hearts content.

  31. Tundra Grifter

    I’ve only made my living financing commercial real estate for the past couple of decades and I didn’t know what “carried interest” is.

    So I looked it up.

    Damned if I can figure out what in the world it has to do with financing shopping centers. Or where the “pending disaster” is coming from.

    Whiskey Tango Foxtwat? Literally.

  32. Extemporanus

    Oh boo-fucking-hoo, Trumptards! If you mallfioso were half as savvy as you no doubt fancy yourselves to be, you’d have known full well what you were (and were not) getting when you chose to hire that tundrabumpkin to dry hump your dais.

    Once again, here’s Jason Facebook MySpace LinkIns documenting a similar heist she pulled off back in April, this time on a bunch of winos.

    Don’t hate the grifter, biznitches, hate the con.

  33. Prommie

    Would this “top kill” procedure that they are going to try on the Deepwater Horizon, could this same technique be used to get Palin to stop spewing?

  34. Tundra Grifter

    [re=584801]Snarkalicious[/re]: I can’t agree with you, since he’s the bozo who put his daughter in the magazine…

  35. Joshua Norton

    [re=584797]Tundra Grifter[/re]: I did see that. TBogg has a hilarious take down of it on his blog today.

  36. SayItWithWookies

    These people do know they’re getting Sarah Palin, right? It’s not like they were expecting ideas, coherent arguments, a speech that started at one point and then built point-by-point up to a persuasive conclusion or anything like that — or at least they shouldn’t have been expecting that. I mean, if you empty the contents of a trashcan into a blender and you like the results, you have no right to complain if you do it again and the blender doesn’t specifically mention your interests.

  37. Darkness

    Carry Trade
    Carried Interest
    WHATever. Also.

    What does it cost these days to get someone to write you an intelligent speech on a given topic? All the writers I know are broke as shit. You’d think 2k would be more than enough, and well justified by her speaking milf fee. I continue to believe this woman’s biggest problem (and thank the fsm she has this idiocy) is she cannot stand to hire someone who knows shit, even when it would help her immensely.

  38. jus_wonderin

    [re=584794]Joey Ratz[/re]: “What the fuck? Seriously, we already knew that Palin’s a moron, but are real estate people really this fucking stupid?”

    Not sure. I, for one, have sub-prime interest in Palin.

  39. smitallica

    [re=584794]Joey Ratz[/re]: It’s like doing comedy for a corporate group at some sales convention or something. All you have to do is mention their industry (or make fun of a competitor) in the most superficial, passing way, and they laugh like you’re Richard Pryor.
    Voters aren’t much different.

  40. comicbookguy

    I’m going to bundle a bunch of Palin speeches in sub-prime security packages, sell it to the Tea Party, and then short them.

  41. RoscoePColtraine

    I must disagree with my esteemed colleagues here who believe Sarah will end up doing porn after she is no longer welcome giving convention speeches and being a FOX News political pundit. I see, for her, a vocation as a televangelist, which, if successful, pays as much as porn, and can be done into old age, long after the beaver has lost it’s widespread appeal. There is also more respect in fleecing the flock, than in fleecing the cock.

  42. FMA

    [re=584781]Panquake[/re]: It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing.

  43. Darkness

    [re=584804]Tundra Grifter[/re]: Damned if I can figure out what in the world it has to do with financing shopping centers. Or where the “pending disaster” is coming from.

    I’ll second that.

    From Investopedia: A share of any profits that the general partners of private equity and hedge funds receive as compensation, despite not contributing any initial funds. This method of compensation seeks to motivate the general partner (fund manager) to work toward improving the fund’s performance. . . . Carried interest is meant to serve as the primary source of income for the general partner.

    All I can figure is given that CRE is in the gutter along with Residential RE, and these guys face getting paid nothing. In which case, pass the popcorn. Shopping center blight is worst fucking thing.

  44. lawrenceofthedesert

    The mallmeisters are just happy to be alive, after all the bogus Wall Street analyst predictions that the Internet would kill 2/3 of the malls. Seems like the analysts were like, men, and didn’t realize that for women, shopping at the mall, not baseball, is the national pastime. Forget softball — if Competitive Shopping were made an Olympic event, ratings for the Games would be through the roof.

  45. Tundra Grifter

    [re=584808]Prommie[/re]: No – in her case I think they would have to go with the “Junk Shot.”

  46. Tundra Grifter

    [re=584841]problemwithcaring[/re]: Thank you. Part of the problem is I don’t see the connection between a hedge fund (as my Daddy says, it’s not an investment vehicle; it’s a compensation scheme)or other managed money entity and a shopping center.

    Second, I don’t know of any shopping centers that are making money where profits would be an issue.

    Other than that, I get it. You betcha!

  47. Prommie

    [re=584840]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Televangelists have to give a different sermon every Sunday, now way. But there is always figurehead-leader of an oligarchic-corporate-fascist failed democracy.

  48. AmericanLady

    When are people going to quit asking Palin to come give speeches because they think she’s a hot commodity? She is consistently asked to speak in areas where she has little knowledge and yet she refuses to do research to bring herself up to speed. Every one of these outings only emphasizes her weaknesses as a speaker, and yet she does nothing to improve her skills. Palin is a lazy performer who isn’t worth the fees she demands. I am appalled by the money wasted on her by supposedly smart people.

  49. Snarkalicious

    [re=584811]Tundra Grifter[/re]: SHUT UP! I’m trying to remain in denial regarding my future in ironic masturbation, here.

  50. Katydid

    [re=584796]Rasvar[/re]: Palin should know what carried interest is. It’s another way for the rich to fuck the government and EVERYONE ELSE. If she hears about it, she’ll be all over it.

  51. GOPCrusher

    [re=584840]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: But she’ll make even MOAR MUNNIES by posing nude for Playboy first. Then she can claim that she made a mistake and has turned her life over to the JEEBSUS and is preechin the Gawspel. The People of Wal-Mart will be throwing money at her to hear how she was saved from wickedness.
    I bet they would even make a movie about her.

  52. Pithaughn

    The real estate crowd truly believes that there will be a another real estate “boom” so they can make piles of money without doing any real work. This happened before in the 80′s, same thing, it takes awhile before they start to wise up, dust off that apron and start waiting tables again.
    You know how you get a realtor’s attention in my town? “Excuse me miss, can we have someone take our order here?”

  53. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=584860]Prommie[/re]: Five minutes of new variations on “you’re all going to Hell” followed by fifty-five minutes of “why haven’t you mailed your check to me yet?”

  54. rocktonsammy

    Really, enough already with her until she shows her beaver.

    We have Randy Paul now.

  55. Gorillionaire

    Is this guy also pissed that Counselor Troy can’t explain quantum physics to him at Dragoncon?

  56. notreallyhelping

    “And, oh my gosh, that curried incense is just a terrible thing. It’ll burn your eyes right up. Thanks, everyone!”

  57. sati demise

    Why the hell isn’t she out in the Gulf cleaning oil off of the turtles and Pelicans?

  58. Joe the Plumber

    [re=584764]sigerson[/re]:

    Pope with a wife…? Are you trying to start a same sex marriage thread?

  59. Geogre

    If she’d said the magic word, she’d have won a million dollars.

    The disaster is that they’ll have to pay money to the government. That’s a bad thing. The missed opportunity is the chance to pay money to a speaker to dismantle the government. That would have been a good thing. You see, because the United States government is made up of… uh… tyrants and stuff… imported from overseas and things….

    (When some Bozo says, “Government is the problem,” isn’t that theeeees close to saying that he is an enemy of the U.S. Constitution and therefore treasonous? Or are we just numb from Reagan’s national linguistic lobotomy?)

  60. Mad Farmer Manifest

    God knows that anyone who hates real estate developers must hate America. We should all give thanks and praises to these brave Nature destroyers for turning a nice continent into a shithole full of strip malls and McMansions.

  61. lochnessmonster

    I will never forgive that maverick Granpa McCain for thawing out and unleashing this two-bit horse and pony show beauty pageant queen on the American people. So there!

  62. Words

    Here’s what a sleazebag she is: She was going to charge to speak at a fundraiser in B’ham to benefit an organization that provides and home and activites for severely retarded young and older adults in the northern part of Alabama. They were SO excited that Trigg’s mother was going to come and help’e out. She was critized in local press for taking a speaking fee, so she waved the fee, but they still had to provide her transportation & room and board.

    The the speech turned out out to be a campaign stump speech (oh surprise) with many references to death panels and killing your grandmother if she’s ill because of Obama and what an awful socialist program he promoted. Maybe 2-3 sentence about the Rainbow Organization (not that kind of rainbow, it’s mentally handicapped adults.) Many of them were disappointed, and a couple of them wrote a letter to the editor of the News they thought it bad that she campaigned and didn’t seem that interested in their work or their mission. Plenty of photo opps. for all, tho.

    Sorta underlined her sleaziness.

  63. BlueStateLiberal

    [re=584821]Darkness[/re]: Totally agree-there are plenty of research writers and consultants out there, but obviously Ms. Snowbilly is too cheap.

  64. LittlePig

    [re=584871]GOPCrusher[/re]: I bet they would even make a movie about her.

    The Northwest Passage.

  65. FlownOver

    [re=584766]Army of None[/re]: By “What a pair,” might you refer to Bristol’s Bristols?

  66. alzronnie

    Of course she know about carried interest. It’s got something to do with grizzly bears, right?

  67. LakeLucilleLoon

    So, a semi famous liberal author bloggy type has decided to rent the house next to the Palin compound for the entire Alaskan summer (which is really only about 12 weeks and this guy has committed to 5 months…hope he likes snow in September)

    At any rate, Sarah ranted on Facebook that he is only there to peep into the bedroom of the only Palin child that hasn’t had babies or vandalized something yet.

    Here’s a nice Alaska progressive blog link that tells the entire tale:
    http://www.themudflats.net/2010/05/25/joe-the-neighbor/

    thank goodness that I live a whole 3 miles away from this mess. And my neighbors are rednecks, at least on one side, so I’m always reminded that I live in Wasilla.

  68. RPolanski

    Real estate people are so cheap. Had they ponied up the extra $100 she asked for, she’d a shown ‘em her tits.

  69. pbandj

    Ok normally I don’t like to be mean and box people into disparaging labels, however in this case, I can’t help but feel that Sarah Palin totally exemplifies “white trash”…

    God forbid that she ever lived in the White House, she’d probably ransack and strip everything of value from there. Maybe take out the bowling ally, and put in a row of tanning beds so that she can expose all her kids to unhealthy UV rays at the same time!

  70. Sue

    What’s worse, her making money from doing this or the notion that if she’d “just added a paragraph about the pending disaster of carried interest” this group would have backed her for being PRESIDENT. Really, one paragraph would have satisfied these folks that she should be president? Holy Jebus.

  71. Baby who ate the Dingo

    Hey, leave moose turd pie alone! I’ve worked the railroad stove long enough; it’s one of the favorites of all the good ‘Mericans workin’ an’ playin’ an’ lookin’ at Joe lokkin’ in the window, an’ stuff.

    She could always move to Kotzebue: Motto: Unless youse a Native, we hates you in Kotzebue! An’ that’s a Native Native, not one o’ those gol darn gold minin’ Idaho invaders (Idaho: mottos: “You da ‘Ho? NO, I-da-ho!” and “Need a vas deferens toep kill? I’ll ask a ho from Idaho, also known as Alaska-ho from Idaho.” Drill Me Now!

  72. CessnaDriver

    I have been wondering-why doesn’t Tina Fey take her Palin act on the road for $250K a pop?

  73. Carrabuda

    [re=584841]problemwithcaring[/re]: Thank you! Now I see why these douches are so riled up. I hope Obama bleeds them dry.

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