CRIMINALS  4:15 pm May 24, 2010

David Vitter Is Sick Of These Politicians Exploiting Oil Spill For Media Coverage

by Jim Newell

David Vitter is furiously twatting about how he gave the GOP national radio address this weekend and how everyone covered it and how everyone should watch and listen to him talk about the oil spill all the time. Here is what he said, by the way, in his address: “‘That’s why it’s so frustrating to many Louisianans that while the crisis actually continues in the Gulf – while we’re still fighting to contain the well – Washington Democratic Committee Chairmen have rushed to create media events for television cameras instead of devoting full attention to stopping the immediate problem,’ Vitter said.” Yeah, those shameless Washington Democratic Committee Chairmen! David Vitter would never talk to the media during such a crisis. [Twitter, The Hill]

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norbizness May 24, 2010 at 4:17 pm

I can’t believe the national media pampers the Democratic establishment like that. OH NO I DI’INT.

Buzz Feedback May 24, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Diapers are super absorbent.

chascates May 24, 2010 at 4:18 pm

What is needed is a GIANT DIAPER to wrap around Louisiana’s bottom.

DangerousLiberal May 24, 2010 at 4:19 pm

On the radio/intertubes, no one knows you just made in your pants.

SmutBoffin May 24, 2010 at 4:19 pm

That is a face only a mother, or a prostitute given an extra $50, could love.

Katydid May 24, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Did you know that petrochemicals are used to make the plastic that goes into diapers? Splains why Diaper Dave is so upset.

Accordion-o-rama May 24, 2010 at 4:20 pm

David Vitter: your go to guy for seeping brown goo!

Ducksworthy May 24, 2010 at 4:20 pm

[re=584001]norbizness[/re]: Oh well it Depends on what you meant by that. Also, Senator Vitter could contribute hid super absorbent diddies to the cleanup effort.

Katydid May 24, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Oh, and there’s no fucking way I’m watching that diaper porn video.

subo May 24, 2010 at 4:22 pm

I think it just speaks to the intelligence and professionalism of Vitter’s staff to allow him within fifty feet of anything that can be/has been conjugated as ‘Twatting’.

Katydid May 24, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=584012]Ducksworthy[/re]: Ah Luvs what you did there.

We are so fucking predictable we are.

Extemporanus May 24, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Senator Vitter, would you be more accepting of the Democratic rush to create media events for television cameras were they to awkwardly do so while wearing a lizard people-print wrap dress from T.J. Maxx, and a shit-taking expression from C.J. Cregg?

JoeMac May 24, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Hey when someone in a diaper cries this much it must mean it is time to change it. Although, I support changing the politician instead.

[re=584019]Katydid[/re]: Ah yes we are the Pampered liberal elite.

trondant May 24, 2010 at 4:37 pm

[re=584031]Extemporanus[/re]: Goddamn, he even looks like he’s making fudge in that photo.

V572625694 May 24, 2010 at 4:38 pm

[re=584031]Extemporanus[/re]: You so mean. I love it.

RoscoePColtraine May 24, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Let’s talk about the oil spill on David Vitter’s night stand.

BlueStateLiberal May 24, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Oh don’t be mean to him, he’s just testy because he hasn’t been changed for a few hours.

CapnFatback May 24, 2010 at 4:40 pm

The VitterTwitter(TM) follow-up:
“This is not a sentence.”

Joshua Norton May 24, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Maybe he should cut back on the estrogen. He’s become a regular drama queen since he was caught doin’ the dirty.

Infrogmation May 24, 2010 at 4:43 pm

The BPocalypse has prompted a number of generally useless Louisiana politicians (eg Governor Piyush “Eddie Haskell” Jindal) to grow a spine and attempt to show a bit of leadership. (They’re used to being butt-raped by Big Oil, but the added donkey-punches and mutilation has finally awakened their fight-or-flight instinct.) Vitter, however, continues to be the same used diaper as always.

GOPCrusher May 24, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Needz moar poo flinging!

stew May 24, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Yet another “hey, I’m not just that freak who wears diapers–I’m a real serious, conservative theoretician, Dammitt!!!”

An Outhouse May 24, 2010 at 4:57 pm

“while we’re still fighting to contain the well”

Well I’m glad someone is. I’m surprised he had time for a radio address since he’s been working so hard to contain the well. You know what they say, if all you got is diapers, everything looks like a hooker. or something like that.

edgydrifter May 24, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Vitter’s your go-to guy when you’ve got questions about pumping heavy mud.

Mr Blifil May 24, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Spoken by a guy who had the Army Corps of Engineers irrigate his colon.

PlanetWingnuta May 24, 2010 at 5:12 pm

David Is that an oil spill in your diaper or am i your prostitute this evening?

the problem child May 24, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Why is Vitter being such a baby?

HedonismBot May 24, 2010 at 5:27 pm

I’m sure some smart person has explained this somewhere, but I’ve been curious – can’t they cut off the oil at the source? Can they shut down the pipeline where it starts (Canada?,) rather than where it comes out? If so, why didn’t they do that a month ago?

Dingus McHatred May 24, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Avid Dirt Vet

jus_wonderin May 24, 2010 at 5:36 pm

I have officially named that particular fixture of my newly remodeled powderroom…The Vitter.

Elm Hugger May 24, 2010 at 5:59 pm

I can remember a photo op with the then president George W during the flooding of New Orleans with a line of gleaming Coast Guard helicopters behind him, while there were still people clinging to their roofs. I marveled at how the “liberal” media didn’t pick up on that one. Maybe they were waiting for a fresh shipment of huggies?

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 24, 2010 at 8:29 pm

I’m pretty sure he is just talking about the way he found to get the stain out of the sheets after his last whore dropped the lube, saving him from being charged by the rent by the hour motel for new sheets.

One Flew Over the Wingnut May 25, 2010 at 1:26 am

I love you Wonkette, you make my job of pointing out the rampant and idiotic wingnut hypocrisy so easy. Yes, let’s link to our stupid diaper video all over the web as proof that diaperman david vitter is opposed to these damn democrats using the media for a partisan agenda. I know it’s just restating the topic, but I had to make fun of the diaperman for being a manly man who wears diapers. Oh and his diapers are sagging with poop right now, also.

One Flew Over the Wingnut May 25, 2010 at 1:30 am

David Vitter kind of looks like Bill Paxton playing a deviant Southern wingnut Senator who buys prostitutes, has them put him in diapers and shove instruments up his rectum. After that foreplay the changing begins because the diaper is VERY saggy and diaperman Dave (or Bill Paxton) is crying and begging for a powdering. Keep this guy at least 100 miles away from babies…he’s likely to get jealous, strangle them and jack their diapers. Did I mention he poops in his diapers? Disgusting!

That’s how the media should report any story starring the diaperman; some shit literally cannot be wiped away.

disgustedcitizen May 25, 2010 at 10:47 am

Is he lending the clean up crews a couple packages of his personal Man/Baby diapers to help sop up the oil? Jesus Christ, how is this pervert still in Congress? I know! I know, stupid question….

crapshooter102 May 25, 2010 at 12:06 pm

So Mr. Vitter is pesimistic about the oil spill, but optomistic about the political chatter. I guess that Depends on whether the Whore House in New Orleans is getting greased with some Light Sweet Louisiana Crude. Come on Senator, Man up and donate your diapers for the effort, we can get more shipped in before the next Senatorial Break.

JSDC007 May 25, 2010 at 12:10 pm

What about the diapers, Vitter?

Can’t they be used to stop the oil poop?

mardam422 May 25, 2010 at 12:50 pm

He has that look on his face that my nephew gets everytime he fills his Pampers with a dooky.

Aurelio May 25, 2010 at 2:18 pm

[Vitter]gave the GOP national radio address this weekend….

Are Wonketeers the only people who think Vitter’s diaper fetish makes him so hilarious that he is disqualified from speaking seriously about anything? The GOP is like the Catholic Church: “Kinky shenanigans? So? What’s wrong with that?”

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