Following the New York Times magazine feature on DC cut-and-paster Mike Allen is no easy job, so Washington Post media typist Howard Kurtz had to do a whole story on Chuck Todd — even though Todd is not primarily known for forwarding some links to his BCC list. Who is Chuck Todd, anyway, if not Mike Allen? Nobody knows for sure, but the important two points — he is tired from whatever he does, he is tweeting — are quickly, savagely nailed by Kurtz in a quick, savage news lede that will soon be known as a classic of the dead form.
Chuck Todd began tweeting at 6 a.m. — “the big race is in WV where another DC incumbent could lose a primary” — and now, nearly three hours later, he is crashing minutes before airtime. Tapping on a computer in a wrinkled blue shirt, Todd has just finished updating a blog post on Arlen Specter when he asks a producer to find some videotape for his new program, “The Daily Rundown.”
Oh can you feel the journalistic tension, the ticking clock, the videotape, the orange glow of sunset over the jungle, the hiss of artillery, the boom of mortar fire? It is all here, in this profile of DC reporter/teevee host Chuck Todd, except for the parts about being outside and covering an actual news story somewhere, like reporters used to do in the “Spanish Civil War” or “BBC World Service” or whatever.
Anyway, what can we learn from this profile of Chuck Todd, who used to be “the guy who does the numbers thing that Nate Silver probably does even today,” but now just sends twitters about stupid sports teams while he sits around being tired in his stinky blue shirt?
Well, his co-host on MSNBC is Savannah Guthrie, known to Wonkette loyalists as “that hot reporter who was talking to Obama that one time while Chuck Todd watched,” and they do not have “left-right guests” on their show, which apparently comes on right after that terrible racist pigfucker Pat Buchanan’s program, Morning Joe. Maybe we will tune in for 10 seconds today, as long as it comes on before In Business on Bloomberg, which is the only cable news show we will admit to watching, and where Lizzie O’Leary can tell us the Washington news in, like, 90 seconds instead of dragging it out for an hour. [Washington Post]
{ 52 comments }
I’ve seen Chuck at the Lee Harrison Harris Teeter from time to time. He’s short, pasty, has a paunch. Like most talking heads, he has a disproportionately big noggin.
Oh, he’s one of those douchebags who talks on his phone the whole time he is loading his cart with groceries. Oh, and for whatever this tidbit is worth, he does self-checkout.
Chuck Brick.
I don’t trust gingers with flesh-colored beards and two first names. *shiver*, creepy.
Today, we are all talking telegraph-ese, wearing snap-brim fedoras, and trying to get upside Lara Logan.
“In Business on Bloomberg, which is the only cable news show we will admit to watching….”
More evidence that Ken is now wealthy, thanks to his book. Next post: “Barack Obama: Socialist or Nazi?”
Chucky has come a long way since his C-Span Segments; in which direction, I am not sure. He DO love the sound of his own voice, of that I am sure. He’s obviously caught up full-time in the DC spin machine; let’s see if it chews him up and spits him out. I say he’s a comer, not a stayer. Factually, a chicken would be safer caught up in a tractor’s nuts than Chuck is in the midst of the Media Vortex.
[re=583487]ph7[/re]: You’re wrong, he wasn’t talking on the phone, HE WAS DICTATING SOME VERY IMPORTANT TWITS! ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS, LIKE WEST VIRGINIA!
“I suggest Chandwich a la Chichona”
The internet really has greatly expanded the options for the pompous windbags of our media to spew out meaningless, self-important gibberish.
Anti-incumbency FEVER!! I must say it seems Chuck Todd was a bit unfair to the incumbent toppling douche who won in WV, running on a “pro-life, anti-cap and trade, anti-environment, pro-coal, anti-hippy, pro-my opponent is corrupt because I say he is” platform. I was expecting a higher state of rictus inducing ecstasy from the redoubtable Mr. Todd, who loves nothing more than when douchebags punch the hippies.
[re=583494]V572625694[/re]: People don’t know I was a business & tech reporter for many years. It is way more interesting than politics, as politics (and war) is usually a *response* to business developments. But if I had money, do you honestly think I’d be getting up at 4 a.m. in California every weekday to write jokes about politicians?
An inside baseball internet account of an inside baseball internet journalist who reports inside baseball stories about DC journalism? Ken, Ken, Ken, this, this is the “Human Centipede” of posts, right here.
All that Tweeting and jacking off and none of these assholes every actually deliver any real news. Congratulations on running in place, cokksukkers.
How much Todd would a Chuck Todd fuck, if a Chuck Todd could fuck Todd?
Today we are all pasty, paunchy, big-noggined talking head douchebags.
Mmm…. Lizzie O’Leary
I would thing Savannah is a stage name except who would do that and not change your last name from “Guthrie” too?
BTW, she is hot, and smart. Why she isn’t offered a job by Wonkette perplexes me.
[re=583501]Ken Layne[/re]: Why didn’t you say so? Just let me have your ABA and account numbers, and I’ll ACH you a few million so you can hire some peons to bring the funny.
But seriously, I and others are glad you do it, especially when you point out the difference between reporters who actually report stuff and hacks who re-write press releases.
Next up, Chuck Todd feature on WaPo Twitter user Howard Kurtz.
“Chuck Todd began tweeting at 6 a.m.”
Do you know who else would have used Twitter – if it had been invented in 1939?
Hitler.
[re=583501]Ken Layne[/re]:
And I don’t go to bed until 4:00 AM so I can read them.
[re=583502]Prommie[/re]: It’s never to early for a win (for “Human Centipede” reference). I thought that movie was a message about the media and technology, and how all us have our heads up each other’s asses. Chuck Todd tweets, facebooks, and dicks with his iphone while we gasp at the latest Palin twat while listening to Te$ha on our ipods.
Steve Jobs=Dieter Laser.
Chuck Todd, who’s a self important prick, is the least objectionable MSNBC personality with a daytime show. Having said that, I have constant urge to beat him senseless.
[re=583501]Ken Layne[/re]: I agree with you that Lizzie is one of the best. I gave up on those clods at CNBC a long time ago, and only watch Bloomberg now. And I still haven’t decided who I think is hotter: Margaret Brennan or Lucy Liu.
[re=583533]Joshua Norton[/re]: His Twitter name would have been Dolphie.
“Grabbing quick lunch (brats) with Ava b4 going to grab Poland.”
“RT @Churchill Give us the tools, we will finish the job. // Yeah, yeah”
Didn’t journalist David Halberstam once write an article, about another journalist, that didn’t suck? Or was it the other way around?
[re=583487]ph7[/re]: Was he shoving some old hippie out of the way to get at the Ensure? I’m afraid that might have been me! Oh, and Lizzie O’Leary also.
[re=583539]proudgrampa[/re]: [re=583519]germansteel[/re]: [re=583514]jagorev[/re]: All we need is a Norah O’Donnell reference, and I’m breaking out the lotion and tiny towel.
[re=583543]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: David Foster Wallace once wrote an article about a talking head who sucked, and the article didn`t suck. Then he left too early….
[re=583547]El Pinche[/re]: Whoa, are you forgetting our pretend girlfriend Tamron Hall? She’s definitely fap-worthy.
[re=583547]El Pinche[/re]: Didn’t you get the note. We are obsessed by lesbians now. Fantasies about naked straight girls cavorting with each other with toys attached to power drills do not qualify. The rules for this kind of thing are very strict, I’m afraid.
[re=583551]V572625694[/re]: OMG, I can’t forget her.
I’d love to play Baby-Pinchy-wants-News-Mommie-Milk with Tamron.
” ‘There are days you can really feel stretched,’ Todd says.”
This is why Guthrie wears the thigh-high boots, no doubt.
[re=583501]Ken Layne[/re]: Are you the Ken Layne who wrote Manual De Electrónica Y Electricidad Automotrices, a 4-volume set, or are you the Ken Layne who wrote Dot.Con?
Or are you the Ken Layne who runs Wonkette? If so, why are you impersonating the other Ken Laynes? I just don’t know who you are anymore, Mr. Man.
[re=583543]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I doubt Halberstam wrote about another journalist, but if he did, it was probably because the other journalist sucked. Halberstam didn’t get off on DC circle jerks.
[re=583553]El Pinche[/re]: [re=583552]Mr Blifil[/re]: [re=583551]V572625694[/re]: [re=583539]proudgrampa[/re]:
Just mute the volume and turn on Fox, it’s basically wall to wall soft core porn actresses in sexytime outfits from Victorias secret “News Girl” line.
Safety Tip: Glenn Beck comes on at 5:01 so make sure you finish up before then.
Chuck Todd is the Star Wars geek from high school who transferred his geekness to politics and made it big, but will ever remain the sad, unattractive romantic whose pathetic attempts at happiness only result in accusations of unwelcome groping. Check out the way Savannah Guthrie always appears ready to taser him at a moment’s notice.
[re=583571]Katydid[/re]: There’s more to Layne than we thought. Apparently Layne is a Ford Taurus Overlord.
[re=583579]dijetlo[/re]: Megyn Kelly does have a purty mouth with the volume turned all the way down.
You see me now a veteran of a thousand trivia wars…
[re=583569]Katydid[/re]: [re=583595]El Pinche[/re]: While I *am* the Ken Layne who wrote Dot Con, I am not the Ken Layne who apparently wrote many car-repair manuals. I hate cars.
When one’s mouth area resembles a ginger minge, nearly everything that comes out of it could be considered a twat.
“Chuck Todd began tweeting at 6 a.m.”
I only get around to throwing up opinions and vodka at 6:00 am.
[re=583624]Ken Layne[/re]: When is your tome ‘Walking the Appalachian Trail California-Style’ coming out?
Also, did you find that jesus-stick that got swiped in the desert yet?
i want chuck todd to have is own show on cnn, it will be called “the daily todd” his first 2 guests will be robert oppenheimer and steven ambrose. Chuck will only ask questions about scott brown and kagan playing softball.
[re=583543]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Nah you’re thinking of his brother, the guy who got shot by a burglar and then chased him in his car and ran him over and then died of his bullet wounds before he made it to Sibley Hospital.
[re=583542]ella[/re]: @newdealprez sorry i missed your lost party at yalta
isn’t savannah guthrie the woman who brought our attention to the very serious issue of the number of ladies the president plays sports with? if so, i can’t even begin to imagine how terrible a show hosted by her and chuck todd would be.
any time i see chuck todd all i can think of is “band meeting”!
The uselessness of the 24 hour media has been advanced by the 60 second twi-dia.
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