Republican Wins Special Congressional Election in Hawaii, Exactly Like That 'Lost' TeeVee Show

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   Republican nobody "Honolulu City Councilman Charles Djou" won a special election in Honolulu on Saturday, taking 39% of the vote in a three-way contest against two Democrats. A major win for the GOP and the final proof that Barack Obama wasn't born in Hawaii? Maybe! Also, there's absolutely no way in Hell/Hawaii that this "Charles Djou" character will win therealelection in November, because this district is Honolulu which is one of the original Democrat strongholds as written in the Constitution. Also, this is exactly the plot of last night's blockbuster whodunnit, "I'm Lost, Get Me Out of Here!"Djou will immediately fly to DC to claim his seat, and we can only hope he'll mark his brief time as congressman with the kind of antics we've long demanded from our short-term Republican congress critters. [ Honolulu Star-Advertiser / Washington Post ]

• Remember the Taliban we defeated on 9/11? Well, they continue blowing up our bases in Afghanistan. Saturday's crazy raid against the huge Kandahar base followed a similar raid on Bagram and a suicide bombing in Kabul. [ Telegraph ]

• Stocks are down more than 10% in a month, and that's officially "a correction," and just shred your 401k statements for the next quarter or so, okay? (Please don't sell all your funds that just lost 10%, unless you really don't want to own that stuff and are ready to permanently take this loss. ALSO: The S&P 500 and its associated index funds shot up EIGHTY PERCENT between March 2009 and April 2010.) [ BusinessWeek ]