SAD TALES OF HEROISM  4:11 pm May 21, 2010

Sarah Palin Forced To Steal Clothes After Losing Luggage

by Jim Newell

Sarah Palin flew to Idaho overnight to campaign for a congressional candidate who thinks Puerto Rico is a state — of the United States, not of Mexico, which it is — when she lost her luggage. The professional snowbilly grifter never wears adult clothes on planes, of course, so she had to “borrow” dress clothes from someone who is now never going to see those clothes again.

BOISE — Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s rally to energize Idaho voters and raise money for Republican congressional hopeful Vaughn Ward was delayed after her luggage got lost in transit.

Ward introduced Palin on Friday and said and her family arrived on time in Boise, but unfortunately their bags did not and the rally started about 30 minutes late.

When Palin took the podium, she addressed the setback in a tie-dyed blue top and a knee-length black skirt.

“We flew through the night and this morning my luggage didn’t arrive. So about an hour ago, I was sitting backstage in sweats and tennis shoes and man, this is just so me. I’m in borrowed clothes, again… I appreciate the borrowed clothes though, this is nice,” said Palin.

So she flew overnight… but her luggage was on a separate private luxury airplane due to arrive in the morning… and then that plane was shot down by the Taliban and liberals/hackers somewhere over Wyoming, while they were making fun of Trig, got it. Why doesn’t she just walk out dressed like an unemployed slob at all of her events, if she thinks people enjoy hearing about how she dresses like an unemployed slob who can’t keep track of her luggage on her private flights? Really, why not?


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Crank Tango May 21, 2010 at 4:16 pm

an alert secret service agent wrestled the suitcase to the ground, and it was then sent to gitmo.

and seriously, who can afford not to carry on their luggage these days? elitists, that’s who.

ManchuCandidate May 21, 2010 at 4:17 pm

We know that somewhere in Idaho there is a teabagger sniffing her underwear.

comicbookguy May 21, 2010 at 4:19 pm

I’d sniff that.

x111e7thst May 21, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=582947]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I’ll bet she used to too, until she got rich, to figure out if it was good for one more day.

Vera Severa May 21, 2010 at 4:25 pm

But what this have to do witih Lance Amstrong throwing himself off his bike onto the payment in a fit of pique just cause his old biking buddy accused him of doping. Huh?

chascates May 21, 2010 at 4:26 pm

“…this is just so me. I’m in borrowed clothes, again”

forgracie May 21, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Dear Lord that picture.

ph7 May 21, 2010 at 4:26 pm

She is enamored with herself. That usually means a comical public fall down the road.

rafflesinc May 21, 2010 at 4:27 pm

[re=582946]Crank Tango[/re]: More importantly, who carries more clothes than can fit in their carry-on for a single day trip?

germansteel May 21, 2010 at 4:27 pm

She doesn’t want to admit that what really happened is Todd was wearing her clothes again, and this time refused to give them back to her, so ….

Pop Socket May 21, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Sweet Jeebus, just pack a wrinkle free emergency dress in your carry-on. All sorts of companies sell them.

I bet the RNC feels really bad making her give back all those clothes.

JMP May 21, 2010 at 4:29 pm

She ended up dressing in a tie-dye for the event, like a hippie. Aren’t hippies the mortal enemies of teabaggers? Something’s just not right about those pictures of the Snowbilly looking like she’s headed for a hackysack game in San Francisco.

Johnny Zhivago May 21, 2010 at 4:30 pm

I don’t get it, Palin’s family was in the checked luggage too?

Johnny Zhivago May 21, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=582957]forgracie[/re]: “This one’s for the gipper”

Extemporanus May 21, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Way to go, Lucien!

I Heart Accuracy May 21, 2010 at 4:37 pm

She could just wear David Kernell’s skin.

SayItWithWookies May 21, 2010 at 4:38 pm

A tie-dye and a black skirt? That’s awesome — I’ll bet she earned gas money to get back to Alaska by selling space cakes out of the Microbus.

Monsieur Grumpe May 21, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Dear Sarah,
I have your clothes. If want them back follow these instructions exactly and I won’t wash them in hot bleach. Next time you’re on FOX news you must show your boobies for 2 minutes and 50 seconds while reciting these words…

“Obama rama lama you da man.
No one runs the USA like Obama can!”

17 times with no mistakes.
Mr. Grumpy

slappypaddy May 21, 2010 at 4:39 pm

nobody in their right mind takes more than carry-on for a one-day trip, which tells us everything about lady teabag that we already knew.

Suds McKenzie May 21, 2010 at 4:39 pm

So her clothes quit halfway there.

Lascauxcaveman May 21, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Translation: Meth makes you forget to pack your bag.

WadISay May 21, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Couldn’t she have borrowed something from a slutty flight attendant?

forgracie May 21, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=582966]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: or “This one’s for the grifter.”

weejee May 21, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Go on stage nekid.

Wait, let me re-think that.

How about borrowing a burka from Larry Widestance Craig?

Surfeit O'Hubris May 21, 2010 at 4:47 pm

[re=582976]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Win.

JMP May 21, 2010 at 4:49 pm

I wouldn’t be surprised if some fanboy teabagger saw the “S. Palin” on her luggage at the baggage claim as a, uh, souvenir, and even right now is holding her underwear in one hand while fap-fapping away with the other.

Crank Tango May 21, 2010 at 4:51 pm

[re=582969]Extemporanus[/re]: i think he goes by Levi when dealing with the Palins.

[re=582959]rafflesinc[/re]: Maybe she brings a big empty case for all the plunder she takes back to wasilla?

chascates May 21, 2010 at 4:52 pm

She’s jest a regular ‘Merikan who wears whatever flour sack looks cleanest when she goes out to howdy with jest plain folk. Fortunately she always brings an extra pair of stilleto high heels in her brown paper grocery sack.

El Pinche May 21, 2010 at 4:54 pm

[re=582971]I Heart Accuracy[/re]: We’re all just made of meat, fuck it.

arewethereyet May 21, 2010 at 4:56 pm

[re=582972]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Man, you are older than i thought! space cakes, think the kidies will understand?

Accordion-o-rama May 21, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Curiously, Bristol’s clothes also disappeared, but that happened on limo ride from the airport.

ella May 21, 2010 at 4:58 pm

I’m glad we didn’t have to actually hear her whine about that. That woman’s voice could snap the beak off a canary.

tbogg May 21, 2010 at 4:59 pm

She paid $298 for those clothes? In Idaho? I thought you could buy a small township in Idaho for $298. Fucking inflation. Fucking Obama.

SayItWithWookies May 21, 2010 at 5:00 pm

[re=582993]arewethereyet[/re]: Once they’ve tried one, they’ll understand.

Crank Tango May 21, 2010 at 5:01 pm

[re=582995]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: mmm see now those panties i would…oh nevermind this is probably the last thread of the weekend…

arewethereyet May 21, 2010 at 5:01 pm

[re=582993]arewethereyet[/re]: kiddies…dumb ass. far out, also

El Pinche May 21, 2010 at 5:02 pm

I thought all she wore was that black leather fremen warrior stillsuit??? What the hell is going on?!!

arewethereyet May 21, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Ah, Happy Hour. Say goodnight gracie.

jus_wonderin May 21, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Does this mean she didn’t even have a change of unmentionables? Or did she borrow>/i> those too.

Alldat May 21, 2010 at 5:04 pm

[re=582990]chascates[/re]: And she knows better than to put the Bump-its in checked baggage, though from the picture gallery at the link, it looks like she is going full-on beehive these days.

lochnessmonster May 21, 2010 at 5:07 pm

Teabaggers feel sorry for Sarah and double her speaking fees to $200,000 for her beauty pageant dog and pony show because she is so poor she has to borrow clothes to wear to every fund raiser.

jus_wonderin May 21, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Whoops. Me kant tiepe.

populucious May 21, 2010 at 5:10 pm

Damn that photo makes me all nostalgic, Wonkette. I hate Sarah Palin for many things, but mostly I hate her for making me remember the days of Ronald Regan as “the good old days”.

Canuck13652 May 21, 2010 at 5:11 pm

Ugh, her dress on the plane is clearly designed to piss Coastal Elites off and to appeal to Real Amurricans. I mean, she was wearing sweatpants on the plane. You can always tell where people are from on planes. If you’re boarding at a Terrible Socialist City, the ones in the sweats are the ones going back homes to Flyover Country after a brief touristical visit to Sodom.

Terry May 21, 2010 at 5:12 pm


Particularly in that as bad as Ronnie was, his stands were still more sensible than hers.

CParkette May 21, 2010 at 5:12 pm

a blue tie-dyed top and black skirt…Sarah Palin is a secret communist hippie. We now have proof.

gurukalehuru May 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Man, I am a degenerate old hippie loser and even I don’t wear sweats when I fly. What a fucking pig.

El Pinche May 21, 2010 at 5:16 pm

[re=583008]jus_wonderin[/re]: For a brief second, I misread it as “unmunchables.” I would have respectfully disagreed with you kind sir!

user-of-owls May 21, 2010 at 5:18 pm

This seems like a good time to remind everyone that Palin HAS HOOKWORMS! We need to get this word out as far as we can. Imagine all the cretins who forfeited a good chunk of their rapidly vanishing money to see her talk. Instead of staring at her boobies or clapping Pavlov-style at every pause, they’ll be thinking, “I wonder where those HOOKWORMS are right now? I wonder how long they are? A few inches? A foot? Maybe even longer?!”

This will, I predict, have a not insignificant impact on her market demand. Remember people, HOOKWORMS!

pirate king of the Jews May 21, 2010 at 5:21 pm

She always needs you to supply her clothes. It’s in her rider. She shows up in old sweats with “Honey Pot” written across the ass and a belly shirt. The venue must provide designer clothes in her size (3 choices), also an assortment of jewelry and accessories. In Addition: sandwiches, bottled water (nothing domestic), hot soup, green M&Ms and imported beer and wine. A DVD player and flat screen TV in her dressing room (42″ minimum), an assortment of lackeys, minions, flunkies and cabana boys, a chalkboard (WTF?) and something shiny for Trigg to play with.

Mad Farmer Manifest May 21, 2010 at 5:24 pm

As a native of the Boise area, I’d like to take this opportunity to say: Good job Boise airport. You lost some luggage when it really counted.

Also, Sarah, get the fuck off my old turf. It’s afflicted with enough crazy.

jus_wonderin May 21, 2010 at 5:33 pm

[re=583043]pirate king of the Jews[/re]: “She shows up in old sweats with “Honey Pot” written across the ass and a belly shirt.”

Hmmm. I thought she showed up with one of those “I’m with stupid” with the arrow pointing UP.

jus_wonderin May 21, 2010 at 5:34 pm

“I’m with stupid” shirts. Dang it!! Typing too fasts!!!

Tundra Grifter May 21, 2010 at 5:36 pm

[re=582976]Suds McKenzie[/re]: WIN !!!

GOPCrusher May 21, 2010 at 5:39 pm

So you would think as a grassroots “Person Of The People” ™, she would show up to all events dressed in sweats and tennis shoes, or whatever the prevailing fashion statement at the local Wal-Mart is.
And also. You betcha!

Tundra Grifter May 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

The lost luggage explains how she was photographed wearing a hotel bathrobe.

Ducksworthy May 21, 2010 at 5:56 pm

I hope whoever loaned her the clothes had them professionally disinfected before he or she wore them again. Crabs are a real bummer.

Aurelio May 21, 2010 at 5:59 pm

You guys can make fun of Sarah, but look what she has done with her life. She is a rich and famous national nuisance. Can any of you make that claim? I don’t think so.

Troubledog May 21, 2010 at 5:59 pm


Lascauxcaveman May 21, 2010 at 6:13 pm

[re=582983]weejee[/re]: Philosophical aside: And you know with great certainty if the clothes in question had to be, say, size 16, we wouldn’t even know who Sarah Palin was. She’s be just another anonymous Alaska fatty.

If only such were true about, say, Karl Rove.

Dashboard_Buddha May 22, 2010 at 12:41 am

[re=582960]germansteel[/re]: One night, Todd came in late and drunk. Sarah was waiting for him. He was expecting a fight. Instead she said, “take off my shoes”. He did. Then she said, “take off my skirt”. He did that too. Then she said, “take off my pantyhose, blouse, bra…” He did all of that.

When he was done, she looked him in the eye and said, “you sneaky son of a bitch! If I EVER catch you in my clothes again, I will rip your balls off!”

ShiningMathPath May 22, 2010 at 2:35 am

[re=583009]Alldat[/re]: No wonder the hair got higher: without a boob jacket, slutty skirt and heels of power she blends in with the other grandmas.

What’s with Boise that she couldn’t find a replacement for her uniform?

zhubajie May 22, 2010 at 7:22 am

So why not just go on stage in her sweats? Big deal.

JMP May 22, 2010 at 9:59 am

[re=583269]ShiningMathPath[/re]: She probably would’ve had to pay for it herself.

GarColga May 22, 2010 at 10:58 am

I’m a resident of Boise and Palin’s appearance was kind of a flop. Tickets had been on sale for a measley 10 bucks and the morning of her speech it was announced that seating was now free. Only 1,500 people showed up, half of them paying the ten dollars. She was stumping for a carpet bagger/tea bagger from back east who has already been busted for plagiarizing other GOP member’s websites for his policy statements and for wearing his military uniform while campaigning. An anti-big government conservative, he is living off his wife’s income as a career employee at Fannie Mae! Also, too, his opponent in the upcoming Repub primary was endorsed by the local Tea Party.

S. Cullen Bonz May 22, 2010 at 10:59 am

I bet her luggage wasn’t American Terrister

KTHXBAI May 22, 2010 at 12:32 pm

[re=583311]GarColga[/re]: Yay I’m not the only Boise Wonketeer!

The best part about the 1,500 figure was I was in the exact same building for the Idaho Caucus on Super Tuesday when they crammed 8,500 people into Qwest Arena, 85% of whom caucused for Obama. And when Obama flew in the weekend before the Caucus to speak 14,000 filled the arena at Boise State. With another 3,000 standing outside listening to speech on loudspeaker in the parking lot because the building hit fire code capacity for the first time in its history.

Vaughn. Ward. Fail.

Can O Whoopass May 22, 2010 at 1:58 pm

What… all the edible panties were sold out in Idaho?

Can O Whoopass May 22, 2010 at 2:02 pm

[re=583312]S. Cullen Bonz[/re]: Hannity and Van Sustern seen fighting over Sarah’s underwear!

GarColga May 22, 2010 at 2:14 pm

[re=583318]KTHXBAI[/re]: haha How’s it going? I just signed up this morning!

austintxx May 22, 2010 at 5:43 pm

So , was Trig’s birth certificate lost also , too ?? Along with her medical records….

Quasi May 22, 2010 at 10:40 pm

I thought the great “woman of the people” only flew private jets to these shindigs.

If so, that takes talent.

S.Luggo May 22, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Accidents happen.

PS: In which piece of baggage was the unfortunate Trig, the Thigh Master, and two kilos of Wasilla meth?

S.Luggo May 22, 2010 at 11:13 pm

[re=583368]Quasi[/re]: Bristol used the private jet that day, the ungrateful, little two-penny upright media princess. She had to be in LA for Jello-shots with Lindsay Lohan. Kids!

KTHXBAI May 23, 2010 at 12:23 am

[re=583334]GarColga[/re]: Meh. It’s May and fucking snowing. Go Idaho!

Maus May 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm

[re=582958]ph7[/re]: “She is enamored with herself. That usually means a comical public fall down the road.”

Perhaps you are not familiar with “new journalism”. Hubris is rewarded, there’s only a downfall if you stop manufacturing controversy for yourself and the adderall-addled media get bored.

rocktonsammy May 23, 2010 at 8:19 pm

betcha it ain’t the first time asked if “are these my clothes?”

Sexual Harrassment Panda May 23, 2010 at 11:12 pm

Last time I checked, Puerto Rico was still an unincorporated territory of the United States which governs itself. It’s a country. Not that I don’t agree with your point that this congressional candidate is a retard, but get your facts right. The reason we are better than these people is that we are sane and we are right. Getting your facts wrong undermines your authority.

zhubajie May 24, 2010 at 6:57 am

If Sarah Palin were a REAL conservative, she would bathe, change her undies and outer clothing once a week!

zhubajie May 24, 2010 at 7:00 am

[re=583005]El Pinche[/re]: actually, she’s the 3-breasted whore of Babylon-V, but is afraid she’ll be outed.

zhubajie May 24, 2010 at 7:07 am

So does Todd actually tag along on these boredom-fests? Or does he stay home, ride his Skidoo around, and look for any port in a storm?

Oblios Cap May 24, 2010 at 10:36 am

That bitch needs to give back my sofa cover that she’s wearing!

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