Guess what was prancing around the people’s Rose Garden during Barack Obama’s press conference about Wall Street reform yesterday? A little brown invader! This mouse arrogantly taunted the White House press corps while scoping out new places to deposit some anthrax-infused poop pellets. And nobody did anything to stop him, because showing leniency toward our enemies is the Obama Way. If you were looking carefully, you might have even noticed Obama doing a little bow to the vermin.
Unsurprisingly, this is not the first time Scary Nobama has allowed micro-terrorists to undermine the sanctity of journalism:
Just last week, as camera crews set up for an Obama statement on the Gulf oil spill, what’s believed to have been the same rodent made a dash across the famous garden.
The press work areas behind the White House briefing room have had at least one rat sighting, though that was before a multimillion-dollar rehab project finished by the Bush administration.
The King James version of the dictionary says mice are “vermin” — part of the same foul-creature class as flies, cockroaches, and libertarians. This is why Real Americans destroy all rodents, usually with dynamite or predator drones. Some patriots use wooden traps tricked out with blobs of uranium cheese whiz to trap the mice, whose fur they then use to make luxurious mouse-hair hats. The most committed freedom fighters keep bald eagles as pets, setting them loose to patrol the nation’s borders and destroy whatever rodents they find.
But libtards like Obama stand around and let the vermin run wild and free, claiming that it’s more “compassionate.”
Do you recognize this terrible creature? Have you run into it in the subway, or at the Subway? If yes, call the Tea Party Bureau of Investigation’s hot-line right now! Only they have the guts to bring this furry evildoer to justice before he takes another dump on the steps of liberty. [AP/Google]
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If only we had a White House cat. Somebody bury Socks in the Pet Sematary [sic].
Thats no mouse, thats a vole!
head like a vole
black as your soul
i’d rather die, than dig like a mole
…sorry.
P.S. That is one horrifying future diabetes farm in the “what will your baby look like” ad.
Free market baby. Let the invisible cat take care of that fucker.
It’s Obama’s own fault for getting his girls the inferior pet, a dog, instead of the superior cats, who can actually earn their keep by killing those ugly mice.
That’s a short-tailed shrew. Its saliva is toxic. It will sit up on its back legs and engage with a 70 lb. Labrador.
Insert Secretary of State Joke here.
“From a Malarial Swamp it rose, and return to Malarial Swamp it shall” -the Rand Paul Bible
That’s not a “mouse.” It’s a vole. We are talking serious terrorism here.
Ben and Socrates are clearly plotting a coup d’etat.
der Maus gewinnt den Nachmittag!
He’d have gone and put his boot in its neck if it had been a white rat.
True story: We were eating dinner at a restaurant in Chicago one evening in about 1996 and I happened to spot a mouse scurrying along the base board on the other side of the room. In the center of the room there was a large party, about twelve people, occupying several pushed-together tables. When I looked up from the mouse I met the eyes of one of the wait staff who had obviously also just seen the same rodent. Moving gracefully so as to keep himself between the twelve top and the mouse he stepped quickly up to the rodent and squashed it under his foot. He then deftly wiped up the carcass with a napkin and headed to the back of the house, no doubt to duck outside for a camel. The irony of this story? The restaurant was called Le Loup. And that’s how the French deal with mouse terrorists.
Had the rodentoterrorist emerged while Obamar was present, he’d have stomped it as effortlessly as he killed that fly.
[re=582729]Aurelio[/re]: Vole=’wetback’ rat which means Obama hires illegal rats. Beck and Limbaugh to call for his resignation tomorrow..
I say rat.
[re=582723]Paul M[/re]: No, this is a short tailed shrew, bragging about the length of her tail.
I heard it was a vile vole, not a danger mouse or dirty rat.
[re=582736]V572625694[/re]: Oh, wait, just looked at the picture again. Obamar has failed, he should resign! I want my country back!
Mouse? I prefer a trackball. Sorry. I got nothing.
But did he apologize to it yet?
I have a hat made out of Chinese squirrels.
No need to have the county health department come snooping around the white house kitchen, with their “rules” and “regulations.” Libertarians should love this, right?
Put up the danged fence!
It’s a nutria, of course, all covered in oil.
Vole-are, oh oh Cantare, oh oh oh oh. Let’s fly way up to the clouds. Away from the maddening crowds. We can sing in the glow of a star that…
Rand Paul’s hair is making a run for the White House.
where was bo, hhhnnnngggghhh?
[re=582722]JMP[/re]: My Jack Russell bitch is better at killing rodents than any cat I’ve ever had.
[re=582735]Ruhe[/re]: Just out of gut reaction, I’ve stomped more than a few mousies that my cats have brought in the house, apparently unharmed.
If I was being thoughtful, I’d probably let my kittehs have more time to play with their friends before I smite them. But I’ve got lightning reflexes and a killer instinct honed on fat cockroaches from my days of living in subtropical Australia.
And that thing in the photo looks like a vole (kinda slow) or woodrat (a bit faster) to me.
That rodent couture is definitely icksville. Not that I think there’s no purpose for mice whatsoever — why, once I was playing a game of chess with a friend of mine, and my cat caught a mouse in the kitchen and strutted over to me to show off his handiwork. I was going to toss it outside, but (and it was a very very small mouse, so not too disgusting) my kitty set it down and started chewing it. The crunching from the bones was particularly unnerving to my friend, and while he ended up winning, it was still a strategic advantage.
[re=582749]I Heart Accuracy[/re]: Confucius say man with squirrel hat very nutty.
[re=582718]Prommie[/re]: Agree. Bob probably dragged it in and dropped it when it started screeching.
Looks like he’s going to have to commission a fleet of tiny predator drones.
Whatever it is, it certainly looks well-fed.
And far, far too busy to worry about all the humans in his garden.
[re=582762]Ducksworthy[/re]: Bo you idiot. Bob is somebody else.
Voles are fucking disgusting there’s nothing controversial about admitting so. Death to them. DEATH DEATH DEATH
[re=582757]x111e7thst[/re]: Well, that’s what she was bred for. I hope you keep her well occupied with the local fauna.
[re=582723]Paul M[/re]:
Naw, look at the ears on it. It’s a vole. The First Vole, in fact.
This is like every Weekly Standard article ever.
Mole, vole, shrew, rat or mouse, I have a cat named Aldous Huxley who will gladly make short work of the vermin. He works for $55 a day, requires a clean litter box and glutton free canned cat food.
Slartibartfast: [talking about the Earth] Best laid plans of mice.
Arthur: And men.
Slartibartfast: What?
Arthur: Best laid plans of mice and men.
Slartibartfast: Oh. No, I don’t think men had much to do with it.
The First Vole is cute as the dickens. Leave him alone.
That Americano link was terrible! Poor sentence construction, unfocused, etc…
Wait, am I a racist now?
Wait until it eats all the arugula in the Nobama “kitchen garden” right before the next state dinner, see how cute you think it is then…
I guess this means we can look forward to about four days of cable news puffery wondering whether it’s Obama’s fault that the White House has lousy exterminators with FOX saying it proves that using only free market exterminators is the only way to fight rodents and complaints from the Post the head exterminator doesn’t go to enough social events.
Has anyone checked the watermelon patch out back of the White House? I hear mice just love watermelon.
[re=582718]Prommie[/re]: You beat me. 100% vole. Obama-garden-eating vole.
[re=582719]El Pinche[/re]: not a bad tune to have stuck in my head.
[re=582740]Looy[/re]: HELL no. Have you seen DC area rats? We have them Yorkie-sized here in Alexandria and DC has us beat. That’s a vole, taunting Michelle over its family gorging on her sprouting crops.
If we had a GOP president Tom DeLay would have jumped in his exterminatoring truck and executed the pesky critter.
I don’t know why, but this makes me really miss pre-Guiliani New York, when it was sort of a thrill to ride in the very front of the first car on pretty much any subway line and watch dozens of rats a minute scattering in all directions from the on-coming train.
MOTUS?
[re=582829]One Yield Regular[/re]: Hey I still try to chase the boredom of waiting for the F train by counting the number of rodents on the tracks.
Hmph. Those rat bastard voles or whatever you call them have breached the walls of the White House in the past. Ask someone who works for the GSA. He’ll tell you all about the traps they used to set in the West Wing offices.
Bo probably ate that little sumbitch. Imagine the mice out in the garden. Imagine the mice all around the kitchen.
Uncle Ruckus/Teabaggers would probably chalk it up to blax always bringin’ vermin up in they house, but white folks always are like that.
[re=582719]El Pinche[/re]: Bow down and get what shrew deserved!
[re=582757]x111e7thst[/re]: Does she know you call her that?
[re=582829]One Yield Regular[/re]: That was before Rudy brought in all those ferrets.
you might have even noticed Obama doing a little bow to the vermin.
It was a press conference, after all. You have to be polite to the audience.
[re=582803]Doglessliberal[/re]: Well, since you all are all taxonomically-correct, I can’t make my (passably) humorous Gnarles Barkley aside. Thanks alot!
[re=582829]One Yield Regular[/re]: I live near the park on 112th Street and we have loads of rats at the subway station at 110th and Central Park North, also raccoons have been spotted on 110th Street. Ah, the wildlife here in Harlem.
[re=582754]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Nice. (And the only salvageable part of that empty head)
The Rat?
[re=582851]llibra[/re]: “Squeek” or “Squeek you bitch” but I mean it lovingly.
Danger Mouse? He’s terrific? He’s magnific?
Well clearly wherever there is danger he’s always there.
[re=582846]Extemporanus[/re]: Ugh, pun-induced line conflation. Sorry, Nailheads!
Now the GOP is going to say it’s a black thing.
[re=582875]Limeylizzie[/re]: Orange line/PATH at 13th, whoa, it’s like they have a convention center. When the power lines burned a few years ago, it smelled like singed hair and burning plastic. Que horriblay.
Look, it’s all about property, isn’t it? The vole has absolute right to her property, and the Federal Government has no rights to kick her out of her home with its jackbooted thugs putting their jackbooted boots on her throat. Rand Paul will save the vole for all property owners.
Land owners get to vote, because land can’t vote for itself. That’s the liberturdian way.
This horrifying creature is the same one that ate Sandra Locke in that gruesome episode of Night Gallery (“Feast of Blood”) — Locke was wearing it as a brooch and it grew bigger and bigger (after the stick-pin is removed) until it is a giant rat/mouse/vole/shrew — then it eats the victim (CHILLING)…Now if only an earwig would crawl into Orrin Hatch’s ear…
[re=582838]yargisbargis[/re]: [re=582918]I Heart Accuracy[/re]: [re=582875]Limeylizzie[/re]: Well isn’t this terrific news – it sounds like New York is BACK (and just in time for my first visit in years).
[re=582931]One Yield Regular[/re]: Take your mugger money. You’lre gonna need it!
At least Obama didn’t bow to it. Dubya would have made a quick joke, then order Karl Rove to eat it.
Awwww! It’s so cute! Even Obama’s vermin are attractive. What can that man not do?
Too bad Bo isn’t a terrier; that little guy would be toast.
[re=582931]One Yield Regular[/re]: They will welcome you with open arms, I see one at least 3 times a week and they were very prevelant at the 96th Street station, because they were doing construction unfortunately they have now built a lovely new dome-like structure and the rat-activity seems to have ceased.
That was rodent? I just thought that Congress had finished up early and a Congresscritter was taking a shortcut to avoid the smelly tourist that infest DC around the capitol.
The AP is on the job with an update:
“Rat or vole? White House vs. experts”
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hqGxY_MkXAPzC5gh7_SDZd8qB9oAD9FREPQ85
How long will it take SKOL REBEL to complain that as soon as we let “Those People” in the White House we had a problem with rats. And they put their feet up on the furniture and piss in the sink while they play their rap music all night keeping the neighbors awake.
…and yet he lets loose the Presidential whoop-ass out on flies when they invade his teevee interviews…that vole was lucky it didn’t have wings.
Voles are known to tear up gardens— so just let Michelle know @ it. She’ll shriek and take care of it w/those powerful arms…. One swat!!
KING ROY…
Wait a second, where is Bo Obama? Seems like vermin control should be up to the dog. Lazy mutt.
I’ve wet my panties laughing reading these posts. Thank you. Y’all are truly multitalented world class snarkers – who’dathunk small rodents could inspire such multilevels of humor? That’s all. And damn, Lauri Apple, you are good.
Bring in the *cats*! I have a herd that would make short work of that little guy.
I like the DangerMouse writing on the photo, but I’m sad that no one recalls the British cartoon series, DangerMouse.
It aired in the DC area back in the mid 80s.
It was about a eye patch wearing secret agent, DangerMouse, his sidekick Penfold and their boss, Colonel K.
His main enemy was Baron Silas Greenback.
The series was quite hilarious.
Read more at Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danger_Mouse_(TV_series)) and google to find some episodes or clips.
He’s the greatest…..
He’s fantastic…..
Wherever there is danger he is there…..
He’s the ace…..
He’s amazing…..
Dannngermouseee,
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