haw haw

LADWP To Arizona: ‘Suck It, We Actually Own Your Power Plants’

Ride this a while, racists.Los Angeles Department of Water and Power general manager Austin Beutner just delivered a very quick, very brutal public response to some Arizona energy commissioner’s jackass threat to cut the electricity flowing from that racist state to LA. It is terse and kickass, and you must read it, in its entirety.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

General Manager’s Statement Regarding LADWP Power Generation Assets in Arizona

“I want to make clear that we support the City position regarding the recent law enacted in Arizona and the resolution adopted by the Los Angeles City Council.

On any given day, we receive 20 – 25% of our power from two power plants located in Arizona: Navajo, a coal-fired plant, and Palo Verde, a nuclear plant.

We are part owner of both power plants, which are generating assets of the Department. As such, nothing in the City’s resolution is inconsistent with our continuing to receive power from those LADWP-owned assets.

I might add that, as the City’s Job Czar, I certainly would welcome any conventions or meetings that were going to be held in Arizona to come to Los Angeles. We have fantastic facilities and incomparable weather and we’d welcome them to the City of Angels.”

- Austin Beutner, General Manager, Los Angeles Department of Water and Power

[LADWP via Wonkette operative PeteJayhawk]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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126 comments

  1. 4tehlulz

    From now on, I will write-in Austin Beutner as a candidate for all elected offices in any election I vote in.

  2. JohnnyMeatworth

    [re=581185]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: Not to insult retards by comparing them to Arizonans….

  3. tunamelt

    We just built a nice new hotel over by LA Live in downtown. Next to the Staples Center and the Convention Center.

  4. lumpenprole

    I love days when I’m reminded that I live in a blue state. Sure as hell beats all the other days when CA looks like Gordan Brown hearing his “bigot” comment on tape.

  5. YesWeKant

    Remember when W was touting the ownership society or whateverthefuck? Like many, many other things in his presidency, I don’t think he really thought through all of the implications. I mean, you can’t let just anyone own things, right? Anyway, Arizona, perhaps LA will decide to cut off *your* power, fucktards.


  6. Post author
    Ken Layne

    Some of youse guys noted in the last post that DWP owns a share of these plants, but oh man this press release deserves a Pulitzer.

    ALSO: So many of you live in Phoenix, wtf? Haha I semi-grew up for a few years in Phoenix, and three generations of my people lived in Arizona. Why? They were kicked out of Eastern Kentucky.

  7. Toonces

    I think AZ should try and throw the switch anyway. Just so we could see the unholy mess which would befall them. Don’t the hated Feds regulate interstate power transmission? HMMMM????

    I wish I could switch from PEPCO to LADWP.

  8. TCmac

    First time in my life, proud to be from LA. Eat a big bowl of fuck AZ.
    All is forgiven for destroying the Owens Valley and some of the most fertile land in the US. Thank you DWP, Mr Mullholland (RIP, rot in hell), and Austin Beutner.
    Also and always, fuck any wonkfucks who need to criticize my grammar whilst fapping to we ignorant.
    And yes I am stoned, also.

  9. subo

    Living in any of the Four Corners states that isn’t mine puzzles me to no end. If you haven’t already guessed Colorado, look up Garden of the Gods.

    “PS: If you guys could just keep the tweak to yourselves, that would be terrific.”

  10. Smoke Filled Roommate

    My husband used to work for APS (AZ Public Service) until somewhat recently as an IT contractor. Everyone in his department was a total racist redneck fuck and the execs were even worse–many had framed desk pics of themselves with Bush or Cheney or some other revolting conservative fuckwad. The Corporate Commission approves APS rate increases with a rubber stamp… I could blather on, but I have to go watch the Suns get their asses smeared by the Lakers. I hate Arizona. (but I really despise the Lakers, so, uh, go Suns.)

  11. assistant/atlas

    The is easily the best guy that Mayor Villaraigosa has ever hired.

    Fuck you, Arizona dumbfucks. All ur power and ur convention tourism biznis belong to us.

  12. glamourdammerung

    [re=581214]Ken Layne[/re]: What does one do to get kicked out of Eastern Kentucky?

    The only possibilities I could think of would be than race-mixing, having too many teeth, walking upright?

  13. FalconerHK

    I’m gonna use my Hitachi Magic Wand for at least an extra hour tonight, just to piss off Mr. I’m Gonna Take My Electric Racist Ball and Go Home.

    You know that asshole is gonna go home and beat the shit out of his dog or wife or “life partner” or kids or something. Sheesh.

  14. StoneAge

    This is better than the Cardinals vs Lakers sports club athletic contests! Austin Beutner should forever be preceded by the song “Y’all Ready for This?” or “Who let the Dogs Out?”. I am proud to live in LA.

  15. stew

    Ron Paul’s evil spawn looking like dumb racist on Rachel Maddow. Should have moved to AZ (my tenuous link to this topic).

  16. Pilate

    “P.S. If you Zonie trash don’t shut the fuck up we’ll start charging a $50 toll on I-8.”

  17. Texan Bulldoggette

    OT but did anyone catch Rachel just try to help Rand Paul not be a racist douche bag (even though he couldn’t help himself)? That was sweet–Rand better not be counting on any of the coloreds voting this November!

  18. salt_bagel

    [re=581227]FalconerHK[/re]: I remember the first time I heard an Electric Racists song on the radio. Totally opened me up to the punk scene. Changed my life, actually.

  19. stew

    [re=581234]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Junior is not a racist, but if you want to put a “No Coloreds” sign in front of your diner–hey, free market.

  20. BMK

    A municipal utility just got wonkette’s naughty bits all tingly and such.
    LADWP wins the week.

  21. CessnaDriver

    This, my friends, is a shining example, let’s say a template, of the artful bitch slap!

  22. Words

    [re=581238]stew[/re]: Ollie McClung (of Ollie’s Barbecue) said the same thing before he got burned by the Feds and became the textbook case on states’ rights vs. Fed. laws regarding race qualifications for service.

  23. smellyal8r

    Haw haw haw AZ regulatory idiots. Come and take it, says, LA, if you’re man enough. Knowing most of the whiteys who run Arizona, they’d hire a truck load of immigrants to go take care of business. This is what the Tea Party reaps. Making bad law to satisfy the vocal minority will get you in trouble EVERY time.

  24. ThisIsNotAnAvatar

    Since the prevailing winds are westerly, we fart in your general direction.

  25. Jim89048

    [re=581217]TCmac[/re]: Take that back! I lived in the Owens Valley for 30+ years, and what they did there is criminal. almost as bad as what’s happening in the Gulf today. Of course it all happened long before I was born, except for the unsolved bombing of the Alabama Gates back in the 70′s that temporarily refilled Owens Lake. That was beautiful. All that said, I never paid less per KWH than I paid to the LADWP, so there’s that going for them.

  26. Tommmcatt

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:

    I love how there are huge lists of FEMA Death Camps in every state of the Union, except for Mississippi. THOSE camps, now, those are confirmed hoaxes.

  27. predilectrix

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Now if the Concerned Women would get together with Concerned Humanity they’d be making that sweet Concerned Beast with Two Backs in no time.

  28. imissopus

    [re=581233]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That’s Janice Hahn, one of the less loathsome members of the LA City Council. The council and the DWP are usually exhibits 1 and 2 for fucked-up city government in my fair city. Yes, even worse than LAPD. But I’ll give them a pass for this Boutner guy telling Arizona to slurp shit and die.

  29. Sparky McGruff

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I fail to see the problem with that plan. Can we execute the conservative talk show hosts on live TV, though?

  30. Nappied Hypotenuse

    [re=581244]Words[/re]: Getting kicked out of Kentucky is easy. When the clan wars turn one way, whole families leave; and then, a couple years later, they turn the other and some come back. It’s like the Guelphs and the Ghibellines in Renaissance Italy, but without, you know, the Renaissance.

  31. Jukesgrrl

    [re=581191]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Either you bring the power to L.A. or you bring L.A. to the power.

  32. RPolanski

    [re=581191]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=581271]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Hey. I directed that movie.

  33. Reddy Kilowatt

    Here’s the thing: If Arizona cuts the power, they lose the money – lots of it. And So Cal can always buy power from the Pacific Northwest, so this is typical conservative bullshit.

    But as one of those people who work for one of those Pacific Northwest power companies, I say go for it, Arizona. Stand on your principles :-)

  34. druranium

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: “These facilities, many in remote areas across our country, are set up to become concentration/detention camps, complete with gas chambers, for resisters and dissidents. Generally speaking, they’re set up for dissenters who will not go along with the New World Order. The ‘resisters’ are gun owners who refuse to give up their weapons; the ‘dissidents’ are Christians, Patriots and Constitutionalists. These camps are set up. I’ve seen many of them.”

    So relieved to find out I won’t be classified as a “resister”. Have fun in your death camps, nutters!

  35. Mr Blifil

    By the way Arizona, how many power lesbian-themed sassy erotic nightclubs with velvet ropes you got? Yeah, didn’t think so.

  36. slappypaddy

    one angel gives the zonies hell. who the zonies gonna dick with next? let’s see, where do they get their water from…?

  37. obfuscator

    the last graph was the perfect passive-aggressive kiss off to the arizona state legislature.

  38. President Beeblebrox

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Except that’s just the same REX-84 paranoid batshit stuff that’s been floating around since the early days of the second Reagan administration, viz. death trains, underground prison cells, FEMA re-education shit, etc. Surprisingly it didn’t have anything about the gigantic plastic coffin factory outside Atlanta, or the million-plus body bags that FEMA supposedly ordered, or the 12 levels of human/alien experiment labs under Denver International Airport…!

  39. Words

    [re=581270]Nappied Hypotenuse[/re]: Well, I’m familiar somewhat w/clan interactions, as I’m Irish, and there are Certain Family Members that either my folks wouldn’t talk to or those folks wouldn’t talk to us….. But, none in my recollection moved– at least once they got to Alabama via NY/Phil. during the late 1880s. Wasn’t the McCoy feud in Kentucky? I know it was over a young woman running off with one of another family’s son after a hog and some illegal timber-cutting became a source of contention?

    [re=581279]stew[/re]: yes, been watching. Sleazy guy trying to wiggle out of saying he’d like to do away w/Civil Rights bill—-however, he did admit during one interview before this that he’s “never read the whole thing.” Too much trouble, I guess, or small attention span?

  40. Can O Whoopass

    Notice: Arizona – return all your borrowed ice machines immediately, electric bill is due in LA.

  41. tranch coat

    [re=581254]Words[/re]: I has adjectives?

    Agreed on the clan thing. Defeat only makes ‘em meaner. Until they get even, you can’t pry ‘em out with a crowbar. I’m speaking, of course, of my own family, present and past.

    Back OT: I hope all this Wonkette <3 directed at Austin Beutner compensates, in some small degree, for the unmerciful teasing he must have suffered in grade school. And high school. Probably college, too.

  42. Radiotherapy

    [re=581282]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Whatever way this FEMA deathcamp thingy goes, Palin/Rand hunting down lib-atheists, or Obama/Biden putting teabaggers on those prison cars, you have to admit one fact: Denver International Airport is one creepy ass place.

  43. NYNYNY

    [re=581214]Ken Layne[/re]: And don’t you think about coming back to Eastern Kentucky. We still remember what you Laynes did to that poor mule.

  44. YogaCougar

    My family moved to Mesa, AZ in 1963. We were the archetype rust belt refugees without the resources to make it the last 300 miles to CA. Even as a child I hated living there, so I bolted as a teenager. Recently, I drove from LA to PHX to visit my Mom and was appalled to see the rest areas on the AZ side of I-10, just east of Blythe, closed, actually sealed off with hundreds of ugly orange cones at the entrance and exit (so no truckers could sneak in). Apparently, the State is too broke to maintain their public restrooms (and State parks) but they can afford to harass the immigrants who are doing all the work. I now live in LA and plan to move my elderly Mother to CA over Memorial Day weekend so I need never return to AZ. Thanks to Austin Beutner, LADWP, for setting them straight on who owns the power plants. I love LA!

  45. Words

    [re=581293]tranch coat[/re]: Wow, so Ken’s folks musta gotten even, huh? Yikes, I hope NYNYNY isn’t right @ that mule!!! That would be a double-go-to-hell sin in the South, where the mule on working farms is a lot more valuable than a horse anyday. Don’t want to EVEN think @ what unholy thing would resort from the Laynes of 3 generations prior “having sexual congress” with a mule!!! (Yes, being from the Suth, I DO know mules are neuter gender, but still— horror defies rules!!!–just ask Vincent Price!)

    My poor Irish ancestors had not the tools to defeat the English or that Wicked of All Fiends, Oliver Cromwell, may he roast forever in hell!!!

    So, they came here… where they were again discriminated against. Let’s face it: WASPs for now rule the world.

  46. Aurelio

    What is with this cities-threatening-states-threatening-cities stuff? It’s a another step toward the gaping maw of anarchy, that’s what it is. Another sign of the End Times, children.

  47. El Pinche

    As sanctions, LA should just cutoff broadcasting Wifeswap and Big Redneck Wedding to Arizona.

  48. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    If Arizona was smart, it would destroy California by growing good, cheap weed. Let the free market reign!

    [re=581225]glamourdammerung[/re]: Clearly his family were all witches. That is, they were known to occasionally pick up and books and read them.

  49. Snarkalicious

    [re=581202]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Just for that smokey flavor, let’s make ‘em coal-fired while we’re at it.

  50. Bruno

    Damn, I was hoping they would turn the keys to the nuke plant over to some anti-science jeebus freaks. I predict: (1) the big words about the development of an anti-mexican stike capability to protect white american values or (2) Chernobyl. But not in that order.

  51. Bruno

    And where does the other 75-80% of the electricity go? Maybe LA should decide not to provide to AZ until they change their laws. Let the ‘brown outs’ begin once the AC needs to be at full blast!

  52. Hunger Tallest Palin

    Yea verily, that is a thing of beauty.

    I translate that last graph as: Anyone who doesn’t want to be in the middle of the fucking desert when an “accident” causes a three-week power loss should check out LA!

  53. LadyLibertas

    I find this hysterical. GO LA! That they were threatened with power outages in the first place is outrageous! I’ll be more witty about this tomorrow!

  54. Buck1962

    [re=581307]El Pinche[/re]: TOO FUNNY! You made my day. :-)

    And to all of the posters referencing eastern KY in your comments… 100-points. Living in eastern KY, I can vouch for your spot-on accuracy.

  55. 13ollocks To The Rules

    What AZ wants for Christmas: Browns Out for Us, Brown Outs for Them

  56. Terry

    [re=581270]Nappied Hypotenuse[/re]:

    That’s what happens when you populate an area with people who got run out of both the Highlands of Scotland and what’s now Northern Ireland then hand them moonshine and weapons.

  57. Capitol Hillbilly

    I thought Hollis Mulwray was the head of the water department out there. Did I miss something?

  58. qwerty42

    [re=581288]Words[/re]: The sheriff in Matewan, WV was Sid Hatfield — part of the Hatfield clan. He was shot in the 1920′s, but that was a result of the Coal Miners War in WV.

  59. GoinGreen

    [re=581225]glamourdammerung[/re]: He may be referring to a move made by his ancestors that was facilitated by the same hatred and illegality that was perpetrated on my ancestors. This is why my Grandpa was forced to be born in fucking Oklahoma.

  60. ElRaton

    [re=581221]subo[/re]: Went there as a youngin, it red, really really red. Redder than me its so red. If I were a bull I’d be running into everything. Oh, took home some gold dust & a turquoise amulet too. Did I mention its really red?

  61. lawrenceofthedesert

    I heard you get kicked out of East Kentucky for good behavior. Refusing to eat Brunswick stew is also a basis.

  62. zhubajie

    [re=581225]glamourdammerung[/re]: Feuding or too many kids for the farmland. Usually they end up in Cincinnati, though.

  63. zhubajie

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: How did they manage to escape the Black Helicopters, years ago?

  64. zhubajie

    [re=581270]Nappied Hypotenuse[/re]: Used to be that Norwood, Ohio, was entirely populated by east Kentucky refugees. Most southern Ohio cities have two ghettos: black and hillbilly. Ever see the movie “The People vs. Larry Flynt”? Larry was from north central KY, but it wasn’t better.

  65. zhubajie

    [re=581275]druranium[/re]: Gas chambers? A few years ago, it was supposed to be guillotines, which left the organs better for donation. Actually, these camps are probably what the conservacrooks dream of for the rest of us.

  66. Extemporanus

    [re=581192]Extemporanus[/re]: Would a “WATT, WATT, IN DA BUTT!” joke have been met with less resistance, or do I simply not possess the current capacity to overcome an impeded sense of humor?

  67. zhubajie

    [re=581288]Words[/re]: Both Hatfield and McCoy clan members mostly live in the Cincinnati area now, although they still defend the feud verbally. It was partly the by-product of being on opposite sides in the Civil War. Most Appalachians were against secession.

  68. zhubajie

    [re=581303]Words[/re]: Re: mule-fucking, how can Neal Bortz get away with admitting to it on national TV? Or is it OK in Georgia?

  69. Snarkalicious

    [re=581631]zhubajie[/re]: Yeah, my people don’t emigrate well. Of course, they don’t stay put so well, either. I was seriously considering pushing to have my heritage diagnosed as a learning disability while I was in school.

  70. zhubajie

    [re=581311]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: East Kentucky is now the other great weed-growing area. Moonshiners grandsons now grow whacky tobaccy, and undoubtedly fight over the growing fields.

  71. zhubajie

    [re=581648]Snarkalicious[/re]: My grandfather left Norway in 1915 and planned to go back in 4-5 years, but marriage, the Depression, WW 2, kept him in Iowa. If he’d returned, I might be a lot more prosperous! Dad would have had to deal with WW 2, but….

  72. Scottie

    One boycott deserves another! Next, I predict that AZ cops will be focused (even more than now) on cars with CA plates. No announcement, they’ll just do it. Then CA will respond and so on. This is great!

  73. 102415

    [re=581298]YogaCougar[/re]: My mom thankfully moved from Mesa before she died. She died if not happy, well, let us say happier.

  74. GOPCrusher

    [re=581250]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Iowa-No details available.
    Because all our camps are Black Ops camps where we will subject detainees to the most cruel forms of torture. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  75. skynate

    This is unbelievable, Stupid government that doesnt even hold up the federal law and goes against a state that does.. California looks like a pile of crap right now and with the nations 78% backing , you are total fools. My gosh letting your state get crammed with illegals and they are bankrupting you and you still get on here and take up for your governments stance. well i guess you will just have to live with all of them since Arizona is getting them out they will come to you. They are ILLEGAL does that not mean anything to you crazy people that are paying for them to have all you have without working for it. California is not winning they are bankrupt you dummy.

  76. DumbArizonan

    Egads, just put us out of our misery here in AZ. What a pathetic place to be. I left CA 7 years ago and HATE this state. I cannot believe I live here.

    Anyway, you keep on boycotting us and keep the pressure on. I want to see this state go down, in spite of the fact I live here.

  77. schvitzatura

    Austin Beutner makes Noah Cross look like a piker!

    Forget it, Ken, it’s Chinatown…

  78. skynate

    no all of you that are traitors to your state are the jacka@@es,, let the illegals take over your life but the others should not pay for your mistakes.

  79. Succeed Texas

    I’m in love…
    I really want a sample of Buetner’s sperm. I’d love for him to be my baby daddy or just love a taste test! Eat shit Arizona, Beutner is way ahead on this one.

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