WHERE ARE THEY NOW?  8:41 am May 19, 2010

Heroic Ex-Wonkette Sugar Mama Says Thing Based In Reality

by Josh Fruhlinger

Once more for old time's sake

Campbell Brown, whose enormous face we splattered all over this site in exchange for money, what, two-three years ago now?, is quitting her CNN show! This is largely because of her failure to defeat O’Reilly, Olbermann, and Nancy Grace in the ratings, but, because she is a high-powered media type, and they never admit defeat of any kind, ever, we’re guessing she’s going to purport to want to spend more time with her kids, “Eli” and “Asher.” Wait, WHAT?

The simple fact is that not enough people want to watch my program, and I owe it to myself and to CNN to get out of the way so that CNN can try something else.

Also, on competing with those three monsters:

Shedding my own journalistic skin to try to inhabit the kind of persona that might coexist in that line up is simply impossible for me. It is not who I am or who I want to be; nor is it who CNN asked me to be at any point.

Aw, shucks. Farewell, Campbell! Your Wonkette Wednesday and Friday morning editor doesn’t have cable and has never seen your show, but those two sentences make you seem vaguely reasonable! (P.S.: This is not any kind of indictment of the value of Wonkette advertising. ALL NEWS MEDIA COMPANIES MUST BUY ADS ON WONKETTE CONSTANTLY IF THEY HOPE TO SURVIVE.) [NYT]

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What Fresh Hell is This? May 19, 2010 at 8:55 am

Had I known that this was imminent, I would have turned on my television — not plugged in, of course, to save the electric. I will miss the fresh face of not-Larry-King.

rmontcal May 19, 2010 at 8:58 am

Plan B: Shedding her own journalistic pants.

Cape Clod May 19, 2010 at 8:59 am

One of the problems was having that dreaded 80′s era first name, ‘Campbell.’ She sounds like something Thomas Wolfe made up.

Hemp Dogbane May 19, 2010 at 8:59 am

She will still loom over us in our memories. Speaking for myself, at least.

binarian May 19, 2010 at 9:01 am

What, no exaggerated sense of your own importance? You’re right Campbell, you’d never make it. Jeez, she almost sounds like a real person.

Lazy Media May 19, 2010 at 9:02 am

So, 5 million out of 350 million Americans want to get angry every evening by watching even angrier people on their cable teevee, and only 600k want to watch the “news,” AFTER the better-produced news is on “free” TV that comes with their cable. Meh. I think the Republic can survive. Me, I’m watching kitties fall asleep on the Youtubes.

Eric Cheney May 19, 2010 at 9:06 am

I will miss her like a head cold, though she was hotter than Nancy Grace, or Olbermann.

Mad Brahms May 19, 2010 at 9:06 am

I was once trapped in the Detroit airport for 6 hours, forced to watch cable news for entertainment, and I have to say that Campbell Brown’s show was the only thing I saw that didn’t make me wish I was blind / deaf. She’s competent, reasonable, and shows a modicum of journalistic ability, which may not sound like high praise, but I’ll be damned if that’s not a fair sight better than the other goons their foisting on us these days.

NOW what will I watch when my flights get canceled?

Long Form Def Certificate May 19, 2010 at 9:07 am

This is all just to make Brown, & by extension, her marriage, seem reasonable, so when Dan Senor heroically faces-off with Kirsten Gillibrand in November, he will have the advantage (even if he’s not the incumbent). (But, then, he’s also NOT a Democrat. WIN!)

Mad Brahms May 19, 2010 at 9:08 am

[re=580438]Mad Brahms[/re]: They’re. Damn you, brain, for your bad grammar.

[re=580437]Eric Cheney[/re]: I’m not sure if Nancy Grace is actually human; if she is, her aura is dark black. Her shrill vigilantism and feigned outrage makes me think of some sort of bird-creature.

PsycGirl May 19, 2010 at 9:11 am

What, she’s not blaming the poisonous atmosphere of Washington DC?

Monsieur Grumpe May 19, 2010 at 9:17 am

“Shedding my own journalistic skin to try to inhabit the kind of persona that might coexist in that line up is simply impossible for me.”

She refused to get a boob job.

Johnny Zhivago May 19, 2010 at 9:18 am

Brown would be the perfect spokesperson for UPS.

Way Cool Larry May 19, 2010 at 9:18 am

[re=580440]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: that she’s married to that turd is hard to overlook, however much less crazy she seems in comparison to the rest of the cable news world.

Sara Benincasa May 19, 2010 at 9:21 am

My feelings for her are nearly as strong as my feelings for Erica Hill, who also left CNN. Why are the hot ladies leaving the CNN in hot, sexy droves?

Limeylizzie May 19, 2010 at 9:21 am

She has put Dan Senor’s penis in her vagina.

Johnny Zhivago May 19, 2010 at 9:23 am

[re=580438]Mad Brahms[/re]: There’s always the kittenkam.com …

Long Form Def Certificate May 19, 2010 at 9:24 am

[re=580449]Way Cool Larry[/re]: We can give her a modest pass, since somebody on the road as much as a telejournalist is will tend to make her/his strongest bonds with the people they cover. It’s a Stockholm Syndrome, of sorts.

TGY May 19, 2010 at 9:25 am

Campbell Brown: no bubble, no ball.

Long Form Def Certificate May 19, 2010 at 9:27 am

[re=580451]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Where did Erica Hill go?

But, really, I’ve always been a Monica Novotny, Michelle Kosinski… Rachel Maddow kind of guy.

Speaking of, where’s Novotny been? I don’t watch the MSNBC so much, anymore — no cable, at home, also — but she was a regular correspondent for Countdown. The last several times I’ve seen it, though — no Monica. Que s’est-il passé?

Texan Bulldoggette May 19, 2010 at 9:29 am

[re=580452]Limeylizzie[/re]: Yeah, imagine if Dan ran his household the way he so magically handled the Iraqi Coalition Provisional Authority. I’m surprised they aren’t living out of a damn box & Campbell isn’t flashing her boobs at passing cars so they will throw change at her.

Panquake May 19, 2010 at 9:36 am

Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien disapprove of this low-key transition of power.

JMP May 19, 2010 at 9:36 am

Brown leaves, but Larry King somehow not only inexplicably is still alive, but keeps getting viewers for his hour of boredom and celebrity asskissing. Why do people keep watching his show? Maybe it’s all olds who want to go to bed super-early but need him to cure their insomnia.

V572625694 May 19, 2010 at 9:38 am

[re=580460]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Monica shows up on the morning MSNBC sometimes; they’ve had various placeholders since superstar David Shuster was axed. I’m personally opposed to anything that takes screen time away from [re=580452]Limeylizzie[/re]‘s and my pretend girlfriend Tamron Hall.

Hopey dont play that game May 19, 2010 at 9:43 am

Don’t leave Campbell– all the plants will die!

snideinplainsight May 19, 2010 at 9:52 am

What can Brown do for you? Nothing? Ok then.

Mumbletypeg May 19, 2010 at 9:56 am

Looks and brains aside, they’re no match for her man-hands.

donner_froh May 19, 2010 at 9:57 am

“Shedding my own journalistic skin”

One of the lizard people.

magic titty May 19, 2010 at 10:11 am

Why does anyone watch cable news, at all?

BlueStateLiberal May 19, 2010 at 10:12 am

Not willing to bleach hair blonde, put crap in her lips, and wear low-cut tops.

Botswana Meat Commission FC May 19, 2010 at 10:14 am

Please tell me she’s leaving CNN to do a few scenes for MilfHunter.com…

Oldskool May 19, 2010 at 10:16 am

CNN should give Fredicka Whitfield the time slot wearing that tight-fitting purple thing from the other day. Holy hell that was a great day.

Long Form Def Certificate May 19, 2010 at 10:17 am

[re=580468]V572625694[/re]: I am not familiar, but just did a GIS for Ms Hall. I have to admit: she could be my Nubian queen anyday.

/unleashes my black rage
//chasing amy was my kevin smith gateway, might be my favourite of his films

Hoplight May 19, 2010 at 10:35 am

[re=580447]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I thought it sounded more like she refused to get a lobotomy and read GOP press releases verbatim.

Second Rain May 19, 2010 at 10:37 am

Campbell Brown is a hot piece of MILF ass. Like a cougary Megyn Kelly: http://secondrain.blogspot.com/2010/05/mmm-mmm-good.html

ph7 May 19, 2010 at 10:46 am

Could you shed just a little skin for us Campbell? Just one time?

sarcasticusername May 19, 2010 at 10:51 am

hmm i thought it was because her wingnut husband is stupid enough to think he’s going to be elected as new york’s next senator. but then again when has a seeming conflict of interest, ever kept a republican from doing their job as an objective member of the liberal media.

WadISay May 19, 2010 at 10:55 am

CNN is on to Plan B: pie fights and flinging pellets of excrement for the day’s losers, air horns for the winners, and the anchors pick fleas off each other.

Manos: Hands of Fate May 19, 2010 at 11:01 am

[re=580438]Mad Brahms[/re]: And she’s smokin. Just sayin.

Katydid May 19, 2010 at 11:03 am

[re=580483]donner_froh[/re]: Shedding my own journalistic skin.

That’s creepy, who says shit like that? For no reason at all, it reminds me of how scary Eleanor Rigby is…Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door…

Really scary to me as a kid, because I didn’t understand why – or how – she kept her face in a jar, or what she wore on the front of her head when her face was in the jar by the door.

Long Form Def Certificate May 19, 2010 at 11:03 am

[re=580527]WadISay[/re]: Erik Erikson picking fleas out of Blitzer, & vice versa, would qualify as gay porn.

Why do CNN & RedState hate America?

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin May 19, 2010 at 11:05 am

Campbell Brown is SO. HOT. OMG.

El Pinche May 19, 2010 at 11:15 am
Monsieur Grumpe May 19, 2010 at 11:19 am

Almost the same thing as a boob job… almost.

Accordion-o-rama May 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm

[re=580550]El Pinche[/re]: Will Eliot be wearing socks?

Joey Ratz May 19, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Campbell is having Erick Erickson’s baby. She had to leave before the bump became noticeable.

[re=580468]V572625694[/re]: Speaking of MIA pleasant-faced newscasters, where’s Alison Stewart these days?

Aurelio May 19, 2010 at 1:10 pm

[re=580440]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Campbell’s creepy I-can’t-believe-she-spreads-her-legs-for-him hubby, Dan Senor, low level Iraq War architect and butt-boy for Dubya, is not going to run against Kirsten Gillibrand after all. Whew! You had me nauseated for a minute there, LFDC.

Aurelio May 19, 2010 at 1:15 pm

[re=580511]Second Rain[/re]: Norah O’Donnell is prettier. Big platter-sized blue eyes. She also has more stage presence. And she is not married to G.W. Bush flunky and ass-wipe Dan Senor.

Fox n Fiends May 19, 2010 at 1:44 pm

[re=580451]Sara Benincasa[/re]: its true – CNN was the home of smart hotties.

Oblios Cap May 19, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Dan Senor sounds like a Mexican name! Papers, please senor Senor.

glamourdammerung May 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm

[re=580452]Limeylizzie[/re]: Dan Senor, the guy that wrote “Israel’s Economic Miracle!” i.e. get enough money from the U.S. to have a functional state?

I hope they use extra contraception.

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 19, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Josh, hate to correct you, but her kids are named “Encyclopedia” and “‘Bad, Bad’ Leroy.”

Aurelio May 19, 2010 at 2:22 pm

[re=580452]Limeylizzie[/re]: Exactly.

Gorillionaire May 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm

CNN should just spend the time slot with a camera pointed at two televisions, one on Fox and the other on MSNBC.

Jukesgrrl May 19, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Journalism? Is THAT what you call reading neo-con justifications on the teevee because your fiance told you to?

[re=580430]Cape Clod[/re]: Her real first name is Alma. Not that that’s any less Wolfe-ish.

[re=580448]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Good idea. But a UPS uniform might negate her fappability quotient.

WIDTAP May 19, 2010 at 4:51 pm

[re=580486]magic titty[/re]: Apparently just so they can get the jokes on The Daily Show


pirate king of the Jews May 20, 2010 at 11:16 am

needs moar Betty Nguyen

Kitchin May 29, 2010 at 3:53 am

My impression of Campbell Brown has always been that she was well-bred, intelligent and used to open discussions of heart-felt ideas. I am sorry to see her leaving CNN because I feel that her departure from television is OUR loss. Although she put herself in this position, I believe that despite her intelligence that she is naive as to the realities of politics and of the corporate media.

I have read comments that attack her for being boring and plain and for being antagonistic and arrogant; liberal and conservative. The truth is that a true journalistic news has been replaced by revenue seeking. It seems to me that she takes discourse seriously and was just not the stuff that showbiz calls for.

Watching her interview with Sarah Palin’s apologist concerning Palin’s international experience, I think I saw a polite woman of passion and intelligence simply being herself. I felt sorry for the yuppie boy who had the daunting task of defending the indefensible. He looked whipped from the start. Ms. Brown tried to hide her disbelief, not bias, and all things considered, I think that she did much better than most people would have done. If a person, including an TV host, can not be allowed to show some passion in challenging the assertions of a party seeking the second highest office in the land, then what exactly do her critics want? A passive child or a pit bull?

Campbell Brown is not above reproach, but I contend that she is a lady, first and foremost, and her vice is that she is just not a fit in the sham game of modern reporting as revenue source.

I have respect and admiration for her and wish well.

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