Someone Left My Aged Party-Switching Senator Out In The Rain
by Josh Fruhlinger 8:04 am May 19, 2010
- As a stunned America begins to prepare itself for an Arlen Specter-free future, we all must ask ourselves: What killed Arlen Specter? Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell knows! “‘The rain killed Arlen,’ Mr. Rendell said dejectedly. ‘Whatever chance he had went down with the rain.’” It is a well-known fact that old people shouldn’t go out in the rain, because they are prone to catch pneumonia and/or lose primaries. But was there more to Arlen Specter’s defeat? Yes! There were pictures of presidents! An Obama appearance at a Specter fundraiser provided “vivid images,” but then Sestak kept showing that “devastating footage” of George W. Bush’s 2004 endorsement. [NYT]
- Also, the Critz held Murtha’s seat for the Democrats, but some of his constituents thought the tone of the campaign was overly negative. “They might as well have put Nancy Pelosi on that cross,” one Critz supporter told a reporter, gesturing at a cross conveniently placed nearby. [Philly Inky]
- Well, now that Blanche Lincoln won her primary, Chris Dodd can kill her derivatives reform proposal … wait, she still has to win a primary run-off? Damn it! Uh … uh … OK, let’s cook up some scam to make it look like we’re passing it, when we really aren’t. [Salon]
- The space aliens’ attempt to seize control of the advanced 1970s technology onboard the Voyager 2 spacecraft has been foiled by human scientists. [Discovery News]
{ 49 comments }
I’ve stepped in the middle of seventy sad nursing homes
I’ve been out in front of dozens of nearly dead supporters
I’ve shaken ten thousand hands in front of the coalmines
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
The space aliens are waiting for Blanche Lincoln to win her primary. Of course, it takes a few months/years for light/radio/television to get to where they are, out there in space, and so they just listen for Chris Matthews’s voice.
[re=580410]ph7[/re]:
Someone left an octogenarian in the rain
And it took no time to bake it
While he thought that he could fake it,
But we’ll never lack that recipe again… a-aain… oaayyyyy!
Richard Harris was the real Wichita Lineman.
Arlen Spector was downed by a single ballot cast from a 6th floor window.
I for one would like to reaffirmed my loyalty to the Human race and apologise for my misguided declaration on support for our Alien overloads.
Obama taken out in an Alabama geometry class. Pelosi crucified in Pennsylvania.
Democrats did NOT win the day, yesterday. (Then again, they never do. [non-Politico citation needed.])
On the positive side, Arlen will now have time to take his great, great, great, grandchildren to Disney World.
I still can’t believe they named Hank Hill’s hometown after this ancient douchewad.
All of this is excellent news for John McCain.
Arlen is so depressed he’s thinking of jumping off the roof of the book depository building in Dallas.
Could a general disgust with all our loathsome politicians have something to do with it?
No, the Power of Christ killed Arlen Specter. Get brains, GODLESS LIBS.
In your face, Stephen Hawking! USA! USA! USA!
The Gray Lady this morning: In the biggest primary day so far in the midterm election year, voters in Arkansas, Pennsylvania and Oregon also selected Congressional candidates for the fall, providing fresh opportunities for Republicans and Democrats to vent their anger over the size of government, the federal budget deficit and many policies of the Obama administration.
Yeah, all those libs voting against Specter and Lincoln are mad about the same things that teabaggers are, just like the folks who have voted against Republicans in every Congressional special election so far. No way that voter anger could be about high unemployment and the protection of monetary elites by conservative obstructionists.
So, the liberal media: just lazy, or actively stupid? Discuss.
If we can find a way to keep the olds dry we might be able to change the world! But how?
[re=580428]Lazy Media[/re]: The left is just as bad as the right. Actually, worse.
We need centrism! Bipartisanship!
/David Broder spontaneously ejaculates
[re=580428]Lazy Media[/re]: neither– they actively mislead
One for the nerds.
http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/faq.html
Enjoy,
MG
[re=580428]Lazy Media[/re]: Lazy, of course, but by long, slow inertia.
Money speaks for money. The NYT is just as much a newspaper trying to compete in the box as the nasty NY Post. The fact that it has the national and international reputation is something they put on and take off at will, but they have to convince people to plunk down money, and they have to get ads, and so they want the story.
You know, “good television?” “The story” is also known as “the myth.” It’s the sensation. Anger is a story. Rocks thrown are part of the story. The story sells. Rational people mistrustful of the story is not a Story, and divided people confused and suspicious is not a Story, and moderates are no story, and liberals are a story only when they wear black masks and break the windows of a Starbucks.
[re=580428]Lazy Media[/re]: Jesus Christ, is the Times trying to ‘win the morning’ by anticipating what will appear in the Politico?
[re=580425]Lazy Media[/re]: Wait, so Stephen Hawking *isn’t* American? How is he surviving the British hospitals-cum-death-camps?
[re=580428]Lazy Media[/re]: The writing up here in Canadaland’s (center-left) La Presse was quite interesting, too. Translating the French (“winds of change in American politics”, “popular discontent with the largess of the government”) made me realize that it really is (a) hard to figure out what the fuck exactly the “Tea Party” is and (b) even harder to represent it for a foreign audience. How DO you frame a “popular” movement largely steered by right-wing astroturfing organizations?
[re=580439]Way Cool Larry[/re]: As a longtime media person myself, this theory fails to square with my acquaintance. All the reporters/producers I know, with a very few oddball exceptions, are either comsymp liberals, or apartisan apathetic suburbanites. The one thing they all have in common is: a) they like a clear, simple narrative, regardless of its connection with reality, because that is Easier. b) They like to bitch about work.
[re=580446]Mad Brahms[/re]: All they need to know is this:
Le président américain est africain.
[re=580410]ph7[/re]: Gewonnen!
Does this mean it’s death panel time for old Arlen, since he’s outgrown his usefulness to society?
[re=580412]Geogre[/re]: Damn you. And I mean that in the nicest way, of course.
[re=580410]ph7[/re]: [re=580412]Geogre[/re]:
The elderly want to vote for him,
But bad weather gives them pains
Old people don’t go out voting
In the cold Election ra-a-ain.
Old Arlen’s gonna have some time
On his own
Lost his spot in the Senate now,
All alone
Oooh Arlen’s gonna have some time
On his own
Lost his spot in the Senate now,
All alone
Don’t you think that you want your power
Don’t you wish that you kept your seat
Everybody wants some power
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one
Specter is cold lampin’ with Paedobear.
“Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little Democrat like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?”
[re=580428]Lazy Media[/re]: I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of reporters, especially at the Times, really are just terrible writers who have no sense of what a “narrative” is — never mind any historical perspective or expertise in any subject matter at all — and got a third-rate education to justify their role as “gatekeepers.” This is differentiated by the real reporters who track down stories, go into war zones, put themselves at risk and otherwise go more outside their comfort zone than traveling to the Upper West Side for a new yogurt shop.
I remember that Boston University’s journalism program revolted several years ago when the new dean wanted to require more humanities education so that they might, you know, know something more than just to be an empty vessel.
Who’s smoking Dutch Cleanser now?
Clarence Thomas.
I always keep a cross nearby, just so I can gesture toward it.
[re=580443]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: The folks at NASA who write those replies must be very patient people.
I’d give a lot to see the first version of their replies…
Dr. Rand Paul : cheese and crackers, without the cheese.
Mrs. Rand Paul : totally bangable.
In a kind of classy, Stepford-wife way.
[re=580413]Infrogmation[/re]: Ha! Just what I was thinking, only less cleverly.
Fuck Arlen(e). I STILL am pissed at him for his revolting and sexist treatment of Anita Hill.
I know, I need to get over it.
So he went to the left, but he doesn’t get to go back. So much for that theory, Arlene.
That pic shows the Nittany Lion mascot about to eat Arlen Specter’s head. Which I think makes up for my beloved alma mater also somehow producing Santorum (the ex-politician, not the fecal matter/lube mix).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrL9MV6jSk
[re=580515]Doglessliberal[/re]: No, you don’t need to get over it. Karma’s a bitch (the Penn. voters saw to that).
[re=580549]DemmeFatale[/re]: bwahahahahahahaha
Oh, and DAMN YOU TO HELL, Josh F, for putting that evil song into my head with your tag.
Not tag, headline. Whatever. The song has fucked up my mental processes.
[re=580536]smitallica[/re]: It’s a big state university, so I’m sure quite a bit of the other type of santorum has been produced at Penn State as well.
[re=580555]JMP[/re]: Good point. Go State!
“Someone Left My Aged Party-Switching Senator Out In The Rain”
Best title ever.
If we keep fixing Voyager when it malfunctions, how can we expect it to evolve itself into a God-machine that returns to us in 5000 years bringing with it the ruins of all the civilizations it has destroyed?
Arlen is a man’s man
Principled and true
He believes in him
And lets you believe in you
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