VIDEO SHOCKER: Republican Rep. Mark Souder Made ‘Web Video’ (Against Sex) With His Mistress-Staffer

by Ken Layne


Tracy Jackson, you have made very poor choices in life. You are pretty and reasonably young. And yet you *allegedly* let this gross old Jesus Freak Republican Family Values Congressman climb all over you and hump on you. Also, Tracy Jackson, Fox News reports that you are *also* married. UPDATE: Oh you think you can take the video down, you vile slob? Well we have found another copy.

Tracy, this makes you gross, too, allegedly. And you’re both idiot hypocrites, with your MAKE CONGRESS STOP SEX THROUGH ABSTINENCE HEARINGS dingbat bullshit, and the Devil will take you both! (Did this gross old fat Republican sleaze-sack and his mistress talk about abstinence while he fucked her?)

And here’s a Demrat ad proving that Mark Souder is also a sleazy DC sleazebag who takes all the money from the corporates and gives himself seven raises and probably does something with the Fat Cats and also look how old and fat he got, over 14 years! Gross:

[TPM Muckraker/YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 141 comments }

thefrontpage May 18, 2010 at 11:56 am

Just what does George Akers have to say about all of this?

WhatTheHeck May 18, 2010 at 11:58 am

People all over Alaska paid heed to this stirring message of abstinence.

Troubledog May 18, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Tracy, I feel your pain. Once, I slept with my boss too.

Except my boss was pretty hot, and I was sexually attracted to her, and she never issued a press release being ashamed for fucking around with me.

But besides that, I’m sure it was exactly the same as what you’re going through.

memzilla May 18, 2010 at 12:01 pm

The “abstinence” part was referring to teh ghey secks.

Way Cool Larry May 18, 2010 at 12:01 pm

he was undressing her in his mind and boning her the whole time he was talking

krlars May 18, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Its abstience BEFORE marriage…clearly if they are both married, that is not an issue.

ManchuCandidate May 18, 2010 at 12:03 pm

I’ll bet that what they did in that video is what they called “foreplay.”

Texan Bulldoggette May 18, 2010 at 12:03 pm

She is married also. Her husband (unless he’s the elephant man) might as well go kill himself because he’ll never live down the shame of wifey banging this incredibly hideous piece of man meat.

Ruhe May 18, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Check the wording in his resignation. He refers to a “mutual relationship” with a part-time staffer. Seeing the reasonably attractive Jackson sitting across a table from this guy who looks like a bespectacled mole you have to think that a simple one on one “relationship” is not possible. I mean, how could she? So I’m guessing that what was actually going on was that she would have sex with a guy who didn’t look like a character from Narnia while Representative Rodent looked on, tiny dick in hand. Which would all be perfectly acceptable if not for the “poisonous atmosphere of Washington”.

WadISay May 18, 2010 at 12:04 pm

I’m no Robert Redford, but

Souder : Tracy Jackson :: WadISay : Jenny McCarthy.

PsycGirl May 18, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Do you think he knows he has a badger on his head? Did Tracy put it there as some bizarre sex game?

SmutBoffin May 18, 2010 at 12:05 pm

He’s kinda like that Chris Farley motivational-speaker character.

“Yure shure a hot lady…I’d like to butter you up and roll all over you IN A VAN DOWN BY THE etc…”

Dave J. May 18, 2010 at 12:06 pm

[re=579400]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Seriously. It’s like the husband of that teacher who was banging her 13 year old student. Dude, if you are so pathetic in the sack that your wife prefers a THIRTEEN year old…I just don’t know what to say. Go take lessons or something.

M Lite May 18, 2010 at 12:09 pm

To be fair, they were both married…so maybe they waited until they were married to someone else before screwing each other.

facehead May 18, 2010 at 12:09 pm

IS THERE A WAY TO ADJUST THE BULLSHIT LEVEL OF THAT VID? I COULD NOT HEAR A SINGLE WORD, THE HYPOCRISY WAS TOO LOUD.

BigDupa May 18, 2010 at 12:10 pm

At least he’s not a homo.

snideinplainsight May 18, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Uhh, are there any truly hot people in favor of abstin, absten, abstinience – I can’t even spell it.

TGY May 18, 2010 at 12:12 pm

So…eyepatch underwear?

M Lite May 18, 2010 at 12:12 pm

What were their lower parts doing under the table while blabbing on about abstinence and decrying the use of condoms? Maybe we’ll all be lucky and they did not use condoms, so she will have a baby/STD to memorialize their sexytime (GAG!) hypocrisy.

pirate king of the Jews May 18, 2010 at 12:13 pm

I like all the representative wannabes who are going to “change Washington” with their total lack of experience, connections and influence. As if Washington pols are going to reform because they like his tie. I also like that wannabe is recognized by my spellchecker, and pie.

Mr Blifil May 18, 2010 at 12:13 pm

There seems to be almost nothing some people won’t do for the privilege of gaining whatever amount of camera time they can manage, at whatever level. At this point she would have been better served to have simply pleasured herself with a fist dildo on webcams for paying perverts, none of whom could have been as mildly disgusting as Pencildick McFartsack. Allow me to respectfully suggests suicides for all involved.

Sue May 18, 2010 at 12:14 pm

I love “he’s pro-life. he’s pro-gun.” No cognitive dissonance there. No suree.

snideinplainsight May 18, 2010 at 12:16 pm

Is this technically an instance of “hiking the Appalachian Trail”?

Ruhe May 18, 2010 at 12:18 pm

[re=579405]PsycGirl[/re]: Maybe he’s some sort of extreme furry who wears his suit in public.

RoscoePColtraine May 18, 2010 at 12:18 pm

First clue they were fucking? They had a talk about abstinence, and videotaped it so that you could see it. It’s the same principle as the guy who rants and raves about faggots and the gross things faggots do to each other is, in fact, a cock gobbling, cheek spreading faggot.

slappypaddy May 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm

ay, chinga, putos y putas, todos estan alli, cantando y bailando con los perros del diablo.

Sharkey May 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm

There’s a T in absTinence – maybe try pronouncing it once in a while?? There’s more SIN in abSINence.

The Church of Realism May 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Eww, how fucking gross is that dude, I imagine he smells of mothballs, Old Spice and urine.

RoscoePColtraine May 18, 2010 at 12:20 pm

It’s also cute how the lovers banter with each other.

Hopey dont play that game May 18, 2010 at 12:20 pm

This is shocking. A Republican is having an affair with a (somewhat) attractive, adult female. That must be why he resigned so quickly.

weejee May 18, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Have teh poles flip flopped and we are now on Australia time? Seems like it is Cocktober not May. Unless it’s Mayihumpu also, too.

Chain Tattoo May 18, 2010 at 12:22 pm

The name “Tracy Jackson” is an anagram for “Trany Jack Sco”

So, seeing as how Souder is a Republican and all, I’m betting that the staffer is a tranny named Jack who scored with the boss. Cuz when Republican Jesus Freaks get their freak on, it is mos def not a hetero kind of scene, if you know what I’m saying.

I leave it to the readers of Wonkette to decipher the anagram of “Representative Mark Souder”

mynameisdetroit May 18, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Souder vs Montagano = Sophie’s Choice

Jumping Jim May 18, 2010 at 12:26 pm

In more abstinence Republican style news:

“Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers’ circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.”

schvitzatura May 18, 2010 at 12:26 pm

I’m sorry Mr. Jackson (oh)
I am for real
Never meant to make your children cry
I apologize a bazillion times

GoinGreen May 18, 2010 at 12:27 pm

DID YOU HEAR THAT BRISTOL PALIN IS GOING TO GET $30,000/SPEECH TO SAY REALLY STUPID SHIT – JUST LIKE HER GRIFTARD MOTHER??? How the HELL can I care if some fat fucker bangs some stupid staffer when there is news like that out there? I have no hope left in my soul!!!

weejee May 18, 2010 at 12:27 pm

[re=579442]Chain Tattoo[/re]: Dark Mode Us

Jumping Jim May 18, 2010 at 12:28 pm

[re=579442]Chain Tattoo[/re]: All I got is Kram Oduers

RoscoePColtraine May 18, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Hunger
Illiteracy
Poverty
Domestic abuse
Unemployment
Poor access to health care
People fucking

This guy looked over the list and chose the one thing he had a passing familiarity with. What’s so odd about that?

kdaddy May 18, 2010 at 12:30 pm

They don’t call em Congress Men for nothing…I can’t even get the bagging clerk at my local
super to even give me a second look even though I often shop in my underpants.

Hoplight May 18, 2010 at 12:31 pm

Seeing the lump of congresscritter without knowing anything I’d have assumed he was spouting crap about abstinance because he knew he’d never get any. Apparently it’s not that, it’s just the same I’ll make it forbidden so I can enjoy it more while I’m boning my staffer whose addicted attraction to even a modicum of power overrides all her other brain wiring.

Hoplight May 18, 2010 at 12:32 pm

[re=579450]GoinGreen[/re]: Think of it as a tax on stupid that will be wasted on crappy mall rat clothes and diapers. Then it’s not so painful.

StripesAndPlaids May 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Do you think she is still on his staff?

What Fresh Hell is This? May 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Draft dodger, also. Is that surprising?

Mr Blifil May 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm

I want to take a moment to point out that this video is unique in the history of embarassing sex scandal evidence. It really is a remarkable document. Perhaps as significant in it’s way as the blue dress. No snark here, it’s just unbelievable that these idiots threw caution to the wind so baldly that they left this kind of thing in their wake. Mind boggling. Damn, the husband must have made quite a stink to get Souder to resign and get Fox to run the story. Apparently hell does have a fury like a woman scorned after all. Cuckolds don’t like being shown up by fuckwads very much.

BOOBIES! May 18, 2010 at 12:34 pm

If those two really wanted to persuade people not to have sex, they would have filmed themselves screwing and posted the footage on YouTube. I can think of nothing more disgusting.

Mr Blifil May 18, 2010 at 12:35 pm

[re=579449]schvitzatura[/re]: + fucking one

bureaucrap May 18, 2010 at 12:35 pm

My question is, why isn’t he toughing it out like his colleagues, David Vitter and Mark Sanford? Isn’t the paradigm for Rs to say “Jesus has forgiven me, therefore you have too; we now return you to our regularly-scheduled programming”?

Gorillionaire May 18, 2010 at 12:35 pm

I am glad my grand parents are dead, otherwise they would be sending this guy big chunks of the SS checks in the same reflexive motion that caused them to send money to Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggart.

Darkness May 18, 2010 at 12:39 pm

GAG. Imagining that pointless, wasted lump having sex with anything short of a rodent is the best abstinence argument I’ve ever encountered.

Snarkalicious May 18, 2010 at 12:44 pm

[re=579402]WadISay[/re]: So! You’re the one who’s been traumatizing Jenny McCarthy and getting her to say shit about vaccines and retarded kids and what not. WHY DO YOU WANT TO ABOURT TRIG!!!!@!!1!!

[re=579454]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Green Baloons?

Aurelio May 18, 2010 at 12:44 pm

[re=579400]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: [re=579401]Ruhe[/re]: She probably thought that screwing this cretin would help her career. But, as Mose Allison says, It Didn’t Work Out That Way.

Way Cool Larry May 18, 2010 at 12:46 pm

[re=579450]GoinGreen[/re]: just fucking kill me now, srsly

Birdcrash May 18, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Dear stupid republicans of indiana,

Despite this unfortunate slip by your legislative champion, mark souder, you must continue to have faith in the abstinence message. Breeding is wrong, and that’s especially true for republicans.

Yours truly

birdcrash

Long Form Def Certificate May 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Souder got custody of Traficant’s toup while Ol’ Beam Me Up was in the pokey?

Now, that’s bipartisan cooperation.

/David Broder spontaneously ejaculates

Way Cool Larry May 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm

[re=579467]BOOBIES![/re]: exactly!

Aurelio May 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm

[re=579434]Sharkey[/re]: Absinthenence.

dijetlo May 18, 2010 at 12:49 pm

[re=579424]Sue[/re]: Perhaps he just shoots to wound?

GoinGreen May 18, 2010 at 12:50 pm

[re=579461]Hoplight[/re]: Just as my Father and my Father’s Father did – I have been fighting the liberal fight forthrightly for damn near 30 years. Then, on one sunny day in Amerrukkka – I find out that a little retarded snowcave cumsponge will make more money in one speaking engagement, talking about how her already used up pussy will be out of commission til she’s hitched, than a talented, dedicated teacher will make IN A YEAR. I can transfer my thoughts to something positive all I want to – but it is still an indictment of America as becoming the stupidest nation in the world.

Cape Clod May 18, 2010 at 12:51 pm

How much do you want to bet that she “Vagazzaled” him?

http://christwire.org/2010/03/vajazzling-the-newest-threat-to-your-college-son/

KilgoreTrout_XL May 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm

“And if it wasn’t for those meddling kids, the talkie-sex-tape I made with my staffer-hooker, loud n’ vile fatman sex in the congressional bathroom, soshalism, and all the gay homos fucking which destroys my marriage, I’d have gotten away with it, too.”

norbizness May 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm

A used car salesman from 1993 called, he wants his wardrobe back.

finallyhappy May 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I am not watching the video but I figure they didn’t make a video about Adultery being bad, did they? Also Maybe he paid her for the sex or her husband a la Ensign

davitydave May 18, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Ah, makes me proud to be a Hoosier all over again.

facehead May 18, 2010 at 1:00 pm

[re=579508]Cape Clod[/re]: WOW! I completely approve, except for the name: “Vablingee” is much better. The first few lines of that article are priceless,

“There is a grave and sinister new threat facing our college sons nationwide. College girls are now “vajazzling” their privates with jewels in efforts to tempt our solid, young men into fornicating with them and having babies.”

V572625694 May 18, 2010 at 1:00 pm

[re=579465]Mr Blifil[/re]: The hot tub on Congresscrook Duke Cunningham’s boat was grosser. He banged whores in there all the time and never changed the water. So bad that even Kyle “Dusty” Foggo was repelled.

Oldskool May 18, 2010 at 1:01 pm

She’s a looker which makes him totally worthy of hero worship by every average/below average guy in the world. And he does claim to be for “traditional marriage” and what’s more traditional than having a girlfriend.

Long Form Def Certificate May 18, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=579504]GoinGreen[/re]: I’d lay even money on the Palins putting Bristol’s speaking earnings in a blind trust — so Sarah & Todd can loot it, as needed — & more, that Bristol can still qualify for food-stamps in the Great State of Alaska.

V572625694 May 18, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=579508]Cape Clod[/re]: That’s got to be a parody site, amirite? Although I do find it rather vagazzling!

Joshua Norton May 18, 2010 at 1:02 pm

They preach “abstinence” mainly because they can’t get laid. Outside of D.C., these double-chinned lard asses would be having less sex than a boil covered dwarf.

Hoplight May 18, 2010 at 1:05 pm

[re=579504]GoinGreen[/re]: You sound suspiciously like a capitalist/free marketer there, Mr/s. Liberal. Wait, wait, let me explain. You are assuming there is some real value signaled by the price these people are getting for their product relative to yours. Wingnut welfare is a highly distorted market. Markets with that much distortion don’t tend to survive long as they reward wasteful action. I get what you are saying, but don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s not worth the self-inflicted damage.

sanantonerose May 18, 2010 at 1:05 pm

In Tracy’s defense, I also fuck the first dick I see after discussing the merits of abstinence. Here’s to self-sabotage, honey!

Lascauxcaveman May 18, 2010 at 1:06 pm

♬ “Look over there (where?)
Here comes Tracey with her new boyfriend
They say that looks don’t count for much
I say there goes the proof.” ♫

Suds McKenzie May 18, 2010 at 1:06 pm

“talk about abstinence while I fuck you”; sounds like a Web site…. dibs

Maybe this is what happens when you get Mitch McConnell league Jowls.

Hoplight May 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm

[re=579531]V572625694[/re]: Warning please? Some of us are having lunch here.

GeneralLerong May 18, 2010 at 1:09 pm

[re=579504]GoinGreen[/re]: Yeah. You can imagine how Alaskan villagers paying $9 a gallon for fuel feel about this dumb little white cunt.

Maybe it’s time to get the tumbrels outta the shed and go after the jacklegs who have this kind of money to blow. Anyone who pays Bristol Palin one red cent should be sent down the river, somehow, someway.

But we’re all so tired…so very tired…

V572625694 May 18, 2010 at 1:12 pm

[re=579547]Hoplight[/re]: My apologies….always good to know the writing’s effective, though.

rmontcal May 18, 2010 at 1:19 pm

My wife doesn’t know this yet, but when I get home from work we are totally going to get out the camcorder and make a pro-abstinence Q&A video. It is gonna be SO HAWT!

GoinGreen May 18, 2010 at 1:24 pm

[re=579531]V572625694[/re]: Mmmm… the visual you provided here has made me rethink my idea of a nice afternoon bowl of Phở.

PsycGirl May 18, 2010 at 1:25 pm

[re=579536]V572625694[/re]: It has to be a parody site, because of this sentence: “In these hard times, male college students are more focused than ever on their studies …”
As someone who has taught at a college for fifteen years, my response is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, whew, good one.

rmontcal May 18, 2010 at 1:29 pm

[re=579508]Cape Clod[/re]: Oh thank you thank you thank you for telling us about this website.

How To Spot A Masturbator: http://tinyurl.com/239mgee
Is It Ok For My Christian Daughter To Masturbate: http://tinyurl.com/chbe39

Come here a minute May 18, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Hey, they’re just promoting abstinence from PREmarital sex — EXTRAmarital sex is fair game!

No hypocrisy there, no siree.

momus May 18, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Is Tracy a teabagger in either the literal or figurative sense?

geminisunmars May 18, 2010 at 1:30 pm

[re=579434]Sharkey[/re]: What’s all this I hear about absinthe education? I thought it was a banned substance, already. Really, he kept pronouncing it sbsinthe, or absent.

And, poor Tracy Jackson was woefully underpaid for her whoring. According to the linky “According to Legistorm.com, Jackson earned $12,541.70 from Souder’s office last year. She came to work for Souder in December, 2004 as what is described as a “special assistant/communications.” She earned $533.33 that year.”

I hope she was getting something under the table besides a toe job.

gurukalehuru May 18, 2010 at 1:31 pm

It seems that everybody preaching abstinence is a fucker.

ph7 May 18, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Check out the many faces of Tracy – she and Mark like to play dress up when making their sex tapes:

Eyeglass and Hair bob Tracy

<a href=http://www.youtube.com/user/repmarksouder#p/u/18/Q3KG29S7iwU<gold beads and unbuttoned blouse Tracy

<a href=http://www.youtube.com/user/repmarksouder#p/u/22/mxan7ftM9NM<news anchor Tracy

GoinGreen May 18, 2010 at 1:33 pm

[re=579573]PsycGirl[/re]: One should NEVER perform hot tub cunilingus on the vajazzled – at certain temperatures, the glue will release, resulting in condition known as the “Lil Jon”.

BOOBIES! May 18, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=579587]geminisunmars[/re]:

She should have fucked Spitzer. At least he was willing to pay a reasonable sum to get some.

Buttery1000 May 18, 2010 at 1:35 pm

The video was removed. WTF? Conspiracy.

Capitol Hillbilly May 18, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Unfortunately the video has been taken down, so I haven’t seen her picture.

But here is her salary history in his office:

http://www.legistorm.com/person/Tracy_Jackson/17593.html

Joshua Norton May 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=579580]rmontcal[/re]: Is that Christwire site a parody or the real thing? It’s so hard to tell these days.

GoinGreen May 18, 2010 at 1:40 pm

[re=579603]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Tracy Jackson

snideinplainsight May 18, 2010 at 1:42 pm

“THE IDEAS WE ADVOCATE ARE STILL JUST AND RIGHT.AMERICA WILL SURVIVE AND THRIVE WHEN ANCHORED IN THOSE VALUES.HUMAN BEINGS, LIKE ME, WILL FAIL, BUT OUR CAUSE IS GREATER THAN INDIVIDUALS.IT IS BASED UPON ETERNAL TRUTHS.BY STEPPING ASIDE, MY MISTAKE CANNOT BE USED AS A POLITICAL FOOTBALL IN A PARTISAN ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE THE CAUSE FOR WHICH I HAVE LABORED ALL MY ADULT LIFE.”

Uhhh – yes it can!

geminisunmars May 18, 2010 at 1:42 pm

[re=579609]Joshua Norton[/re]: I’m going to have to go with parody. Nobody is that GODawful stupid, are they? Are they? ARE THEY???

TakingAmes May 18, 2010 at 1:47 pm

[re=579469]bureaucrap[/re]: Seriously. I think this is the first Republican in recent memory caught with his pants down who has actually resigned, rather than continue in a political career that would allow us to continue making fun of him. Bastard.

Hoplight May 18, 2010 at 1:52 pm

BUT OUR CAUSE IS GREATER

Since your cause appears to be proving who can be the biggest flaming hypocrites on the planet, then sure.

Ducksworthy May 18, 2010 at 1:53 pm

[re=579438]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Clearly a RINO

Ducksworthy May 18, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Way to go with the Update Ken!

ph7 May 18, 2010 at 1:54 pm

The original video is down, but how do you like the sexy glasses Tracy?

bitchincamaro May 18, 2010 at 1:55 pm

It’s not like he didn’t warn the old ball ‘n’ chain, though:

We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
We’ve been talkin’ ’bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I’m goin’ to Jackson, I’m gonna mess around,
Yeah, I’m goin’ to Jackson,
Look out Jackson town.

Darkness May 18, 2010 at 1:55 pm

[re=579450]GoinGreen[/re]: 30k hazard pay for being Sarah Palin’s daughter? I’d demand a raise.

Aurelio May 18, 2010 at 1:56 pm

[re=579603]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Wow. Tracy was making shit wages and she had to put out, too. I haz a sad.

CthuNHu May 18, 2010 at 1:58 pm

[re=579442]Chain Tattoo[/re]: Perverse tusker married a stone. (Hence external sexytime need.)
Diaper Marketeer Roves Nuts
Tusker Perve Reanimates Rod
Diaper Eater Removes Trunks
Knave Terrorised Meat Purse
Reversed Tea Partier On Musk
Meat Purse Diver No Streaker (thank goodness!)
A Supreme Overrated Stinker
True Seventies Porker Drama

ph7 May 18, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Here’s another Tracy and Mark sex tape, with Tracy’s coyly unbuttoned blouse.

Johnny Zhivago May 18, 2010 at 2:03 pm

This is ALL Obama’s fault – with all that free Government Viagra being sent to everyone over 50 these days.

Aurelio May 18, 2010 at 2:11 pm

[re=579647]ph7[/re]: Tracy has to prompt Souder to say the right things in every video. For this, he payed her $15k a year and she had to fuck him too. And now she will be known as the Whore of Babylon. There is no justice.

GoinGreen May 18, 2010 at 2:12 pm

[re=579542]Hoplight[/re]: I have no problem with capitalism or a free market society – as long as the government then comes in and takes the money, distributing it more fairly throughout society, and not allowing those who have almost complete control of capital to monopolize the pursuit of happiness. Other than that, I am Warren Fucking Buffett.

Cape Clod May 18, 2010 at 2:15 pm

[re=579530]facehead[/re]: [re=579536]V572625694[/re]: [re=579580]rmontcal[/re]: It is either a cleverly done parody site or the least self aware legitimate Christian site possible. Given that it features a video of a young lady getting vagazzaled, I’m betting on the former.

Chain Tattoo May 18, 2010 at 2:15 pm

[re=579643]CthuNHu[/re]: Well, “Diaper Eater Removes Trunks” is obviously a ref. to David Vitter.
I think “Meat Purse Diver No Streaker” probably takes the cake.

wilbro May 18, 2010 at 2:25 pm

The best part of joining the pro-abstinence bandwagon is that you get a lot of sex.

And when you get busted, you seem to be entitled to some kind of victimization or blame-defecting mea culpa; and the people who should turn on you for being a hypocrite instead rally around and wonder how you, this great principled person, could have fallen short of your lofty ideals. It really is win win.

But the best part is the sex.

Extemporanus May 18, 2010 at 2:27 pm

To everyone ready to award Mark Souder “Baller of the Year” honors for banging broads half his age, all the time, and bemoaning their inability to do the same, PLEASE STOP! Nowhere in the article — or the attached videos — does it clearly specify exactly whom was fucking whom, or whether any fucking even took place at all.

There are literally millions of sexual acts two (or more) people can engage in that would rise to the level of adultery, yet not involve the insertion of Roger Ebert’s twin brother’s third thumb up the pee or poop hole of Ms. Tracy “Action” Jackson. For all we know, under that dashing 1993 Goodwill ensemble lies a translucently naked man — covered neck-to-toe in fresh menses and rainbow glitter, sweaty scrotum knotted-off so hard it looks like it contains racketballs, “tracy’s little fag bitch” scrawled across his welt covered, weeping red ass in flourescent green Sharpie — eagerly awaiting his next session with a FAP-worthy, fearful frisson.

Does it to you?

Canuck13652 May 18, 2010 at 2:30 pm

[re=579424]Sue[/re]: Republicans are pro-life from the minute of conception to the moment of birth. Then they’re all pro-death: guns, capital punishment, no healthcare/food/muniez if your a poor. No cognitive dissidence at all!

Trace May 18, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I hope he wore a condom when he put it in her Republican echo chamber.

Limeylizzie May 18, 2010 at 2:33 pm

[re=579400]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Nicely put.

Chain Tattoo May 18, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Sources say that “Republican Representative Mark Souder” anagrams to

A public dork user event: arrest, rape men.

Sounds like something from a prison movie.

bitchincamaro May 18, 2010 at 2:41 pm

[re=579715]Extemporanus[/re]: I’m seeing it in a diffent light now. Thank you. Ha!

Capitol Hillbilly May 18, 2010 at 2:43 pm

[re=579638]Aurelio[/re]: yeah, she had to do some pretty awful things for not much money. poor lady.

S.Luggo May 18, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Souder with Chuck Colson, evidently in anticipation that making mattress music with one’s underpaid, married staffer is punishable under the Indiana Penal Code. Get it? Penal. Heh.
http://souder.house.gov/pages/family-issues

[re=579729]Trace[/re]: Consonant with Mark’s character, the condom was made out of sausage casing.

whiterabid May 18, 2010 at 2:52 pm

[re=579467]BOOBIES![/re]: LOLOL

Montegano looks a little like Sal Mineo. Why did you kill the puppies, Plato? Is this the classic movie blog?

GOPCrusher May 18, 2010 at 2:53 pm

[re=579580]rmontcal[/re]: It was a moral imperative that I bookmark that website.

S.Luggo May 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Ah, the rural life. If it hadn’t been Tracy, it would have been some unfortunate creature of the ovine persuasion. He who is without sin cast the first corn dog.

But, given his obsession with illicit porking, I doubt that Jackson was the first staffer to play hide the salami with Representative Meatbag, Follow the semen.

S.Luggo May 18, 2010 at 3:10 pm

[re=579587]geminisunmars[/re]: You forgot the bennies, e.g. national exposure, so to speak.

KilgoreTrout_XL May 18, 2010 at 3:13 pm

“BY STEPPING ASIDE, MY MISTAKE CANNOT BE USED AS A POLITICAL FOOTBALL IN A PARTISAN ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE THE CAUSE FOR WHICH I HAVE LABORED ALL MY ADULT LIFE.”

Awesome, though I think fucking your abstinence staffer with head-mounted dildos and oversized anal beads is a pretty good way to undermine an abstinence message.

Jukesgrrl May 18, 2010 at 3:14 pm

“Why can’t those teenagers use mature logic to make their choices about sex?” he whined as he pulled down her khaki trousers.

President Beeblebrox May 18, 2010 at 3:30 pm

[re=579602]Buttery1000[/re]: I was honored (?) to watch that video before it was taken down. It was a horrible combination of infomercial and the “sex education” segments — with blonde announcer sitting in front of a desk prop talking about How To Have Sex — that used to be tacked onto the beginning of Meese Commission-era porn videos so that the producers could claim with a somewhat straight face that the sex acts shown on the tape weren’t entirely prurient in nature if/when they were prosecuted. I.e., it was shit-tasticly wonderful.

[re=579530]facehead[/re]: Somehow my post on this got removed or never made its way through – are we SURE that site isn’t a parody? Because it’s just too weird/wingnutty to be real. But in the land of the blind, the one-eyed Paultard teabagger is king, so… who knows.

Sharkey May 18, 2010 at 3:36 pm

[re=579587]geminisunmars[/re]: It’s actually not banned anymore. Turns out wormwood isn’t all that bad for you. So yeah, they need to find a new way to mispronounce it.

WindbagCity May 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm
WindbagCity May 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Oh snap, the replacement will prob be RedState hard-on Marlin Stutzman: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/18/AR2010051803059.html (OMG, maybe Marlin orchestrated this whole thing!! Maybe I should just be very quiet right now…)

chascates May 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm

From a Vanity Fair writer:
…in March 2004, Souder hauled Dr. Jonathan Zenilman, a former C.D.C. officer and S.T.D. specialist at Hopkins who happens to be my father, before his committee and proceeded to lecture him on the sins of condoms and sex outside of wedlock and its liberal enablers.

Souder ultimately responded by saying that teen sex needs to be aggressively confronted, like date rape, because out-of-wedlock sex always leads to pregnancy and ruins lives. My dad said well-informed people use condoms.

Beowoof May 18, 2010 at 5:23 pm

[re=579417]snideinplainsight[/re]: Very few of us non-hots are in favor abstinence

mcdonkeyboy2 May 18, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Tracy – for a lady-whore, you sure wear sensible slacks

risqueclay May 18, 2010 at 6:11 pm

Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife…the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Sounds good to me. I’ll be there with my big bucket of rocks.

babsinbuffalo May 18, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Tracy Jackson: “part-time aide.” Is that what the kids are calling it these days??

babsinbuffalo May 18, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Tracy Jackson’s interview skills” “Gosh, I think you’re awesome, Congressman Souder. Can you tell our listeners just how awesome you are?”

fredb May 18, 2010 at 6:25 pm

That’s (Rep. Souder – D) for those of you watching Fox News….

fredb May 18, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Rep. Souder (D-Indiana)

mcdonkeyboy2 May 18, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Big question…..did he fuck Tracy at the Christian radio stations? As the great Hedley (that’s Hedley!) Lamar reminds us….

“Rustling cattle…not much of a crime.”

“Through the Vatican?”

“Kinky!”

One Flew Over the Wingnut May 18, 2010 at 9:36 pm

My question is how many more of these hardcore Republican Christian wingnuts must we bust before they finally admit the whole “Jeebus and family values” shit is just an act to get the sloping browed, bible thumpers who think space Jeebus is going to someday come suck them up in a flobee device to vote for them? I’ll set the over/under on “all of them”. What’s even sadder is the religious ignoramuses they mislead while placing their fat, slug-like bodies into a horizontal angle with some moderately attractive woman/ rentboy/ horse (whom theys didn’t marry) and then laugh about their own hypocritical cleverness will just move along to the next wingnut willing to mouthbreathe with them like some sort of battered wife returning to her abusive husband. And why? just like the metaphorical battered wife syndrome suffer, they don’t get it better elsewhere and they’ll blame it on themselves for the impossible standards they set (seriously, no one really hates sex like they claim as the cheating rate in the bible bet shows, but they love to use it as a meme. Oh, and they won’t actually blame themselves, as they scream in their obliviousness to their own moral contradictions, wingnuts aren’t self aware in the least).

Ultraspanked May 19, 2010 at 1:55 am

Demrat spot: “Pro-Life, Pro-Gun” a sure winner of the daily double. I as long as I can have my gun, I respect life,
yessir.

zhubajie May 19, 2010 at 5:20 am

[re=579531]V572625694[/re]: Cunningham was a SAILOR, someone who’d undoubtedly learned everything he knew about sex and corruption in Olongapo City, RP, the Playground of the 7th Fleet. He should retire there once he gets out of jail.

zhubajie May 19, 2010 at 5:56 am

[re=580242]One Flew Over the Wingnut[/re]: The Reptilian wing-nuts in Congress really believe it all, though. They just can’t live up to their ideals! Neither they nor their constituents are going to wake-up and get enlightened, either (save as isolated individuals like me!) More likely is that some of their whackier preachers (like Rod Parsley et al.) will tell them to “Kill the Liberals! G-d wants it!” After which people like you and me will be in serious Rwandan-style danger. Learn Spanish or French or something so you can flee to Argentina or Bourkina Faso if you need to.

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