WONKETTE SPORTS DESK  8:59 am May 18, 2010

Shameless Obama Practices ‘First Pitch’

by Ken Layne

'My woman got a face like a teddy bear, She's tossin' a baseball bat in the air.'The world’s most terrible criminal, Barack Obama, can’t even honor America when he throws the “first pitch” at the baseball game. Here is scandalous photographic evidence posted by the White House photographer on the White House Flickr website showing the war-crazed pacifist literally practicing for his first pitch at the Nationals’ game the other night. It says right in our Constitution somewhere that presidents shall not practice in any way before they make their dismal, lame-o first pitch. [White House Flickr/Political Wire]

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gurukalehuru May 18, 2010 at 9:04 am


Lazy Media May 18, 2010 at 9:07 am

Why am I reminded of This?

memzilla May 18, 2010 at 9:07 am

Nice windup, Hopey McHopesalot. Mitch McConnell’s face should be the padded backstop, though.

weejee May 18, 2010 at 9:11 am

You don’t put yer foot on the rubber silly. But then again, there’s prob’ly no cleats on your Florsheims.

Dashboard_Buddha May 18, 2010 at 9:20 am

[re=579193]Lazy Media[/re]: Man…even when Bowling, Tricky Dick crossed the line.

Darkness May 18, 2010 at 9:20 am

Needz more cleets!

TGY May 18, 2010 at 9:23 am

Oh, a *detail* man.

crapshooter102 May 18, 2010 at 9:25 am

Where is Kenneth Starr when you need him?

druranium May 18, 2010 at 9:31 am

I bet Nixon wore cleats on the bowling lane. What an asshole!

TGY May 18, 2010 at 9:33 am

[re=579191]gurukalehuru[/re]: Those are called “catcher’s signals” in baseball.

Panquake May 18, 2010 at 9:37 am

Probably on ‘roids, just like Terrible Negro Barry Bonds.

yargisbargis May 18, 2010 at 9:38 am

You know American culture is in decline when we don’t display elegant brocade wallpaper in our bowling lanes anymore.

Nigel May 18, 2010 at 9:41 am

You think I’m fucking around here? Mark it zero!

harry palmer May 18, 2010 at 9:42 am

Note the jacket’s red. How much you wanna bet there’s a hammer and sickle on his back? Why don’t they show the back of the jacket????????? WHY??????

Pete-O May 18, 2010 at 9:43 am

Hopey’s got a shitload of balls, for once.

harry palmer May 18, 2010 at 9:45 am

[re=579230]Nigel[/re]: “Hey, pendejo, I’m gonna put that piece up your ass, and pull the trigger until it goes click.”

JMP May 18, 2010 at 9:47 am

Hm; Obama throws out the first pitch for the Nationals, and for the first time ever they not only stop being the worst team in baseball, but are actually a little above .500. Coincidence?

Autochthon May 18, 2010 at 9:49 am

As a catcher, I’m suddenly overwhelmed by visions of Barry as a pitcher. If only he played on our team… *sigh*

krustysfather May 18, 2010 at 9:51 am

He’s just making sure he doesn’t throw a Bababooey.

Mr Blifil May 18, 2010 at 9:51 am

Lefty. This changes everything.

Mr Blifil May 18, 2010 at 9:52 am

[re=579193]Lazy Media[/re]: Obama needs to restore that wallpaper immediately, it would make him cooler than Shaft.

facehead May 18, 2010 at 9:59 am

Worse than pre-marital masturbation.

V572625694 May 18, 2010 at 10:06 am

[re=579242]Mr Blifil[/re]: You never noticed? I think we’ve had 3 or 4 lefty preznidents in a row. It explains much.

druranium May 18, 2010 at 10:11 am

[re=579248]facehead[/re]: I remember you.
Go, Ken! When is that book where you walk up the west coast coming out?

Long Form Def Certificate May 18, 2010 at 10:13 am

[re=579256]V572625694[/re]: Was Dubya a lefty? I thought he were, but I could swear I saw a pic of him using his right to sign a bill.

I know 41, Slick, & Obie are southpaws, though.

KilgoreTrout_XL May 18, 2010 at 10:19 am

I’m pretty sure this is from a West Wing episode.

Way Cool Larry May 18, 2010 at 10:25 am

He throws a mean spitball.

weejee May 18, 2010 at 10:29 am

[re=579266]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Some of us with the spiritual guidance of a ruler over the knuckles throw left but write right. Bless you Sister Caligula.

dogscantlookup May 18, 2010 at 10:46 am

War-crazed pacifist? Obama is Billy Jack

facehead May 18, 2010 at 11:04 am

[re=579275]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: They did do that!

[re=579260]druranium[/re]: Sup babycakes. I’ve been peepin Wonkette all along, but for some reason stopped commenting — and I too want to see this Ken Layne book (I look forward to seeing David Denby’s review).

Mista Eko May 18, 2010 at 11:40 am

This is for the best. Remember last year’s all star game where he barely crossed home plate? Pujols leaned forward to catch that floater and saved his poll ratings for a few months.

WadISay May 18, 2010 at 11:58 am

Repub Congressional leadership calls balk.

McDuff May 18, 2010 at 12:15 pm

[re=579256]V572625694[/re]: “Lefties of the world unite; throw off the chains of your right-handed oppressors!” (What Karl Marx really said before Engles changed it a bit.)

McDuff May 18, 2010 at 12:16 pm

[re=579275]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: It was; President Sheen practiced in the White House hallway — he may have broke a vase.

Extemporanus May 18, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Nice Walgreen’s regional assistant manager jacket, dork.

Lazy Media May 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=579202]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’.

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