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Shameless Obama Practices ‘First Pitch’

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'My woman got a face like a teddy bear, She's tossin' a baseball bat in the air.'The world’s most terrible criminal, Barack Obama, can’t even honor America when he throws the “first pitch” at the baseball game. Here is scandalous photographic evidence posted by the White House photographer on the White House Flickr website showing the war-crazed pacifist literally practicing for his first pitch at the Nationals’ game the other night. It says right in our Constitution somewhere that presidents shall not practice in any way before they make their dismal, lame-o first pitch. [White House Flickr/Political Wire]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

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  • gurukalehuru

    TELEPROMTERZZ11!!!

  • Lazy Media

    Why am I reminded of This?

  • memzilla

    Nice windup, Hopey McHopesalot. Mitch McConnell’s face should be the padded backstop, though.

  • weejee

    You don’t put yer foot on the rubber silly. But then again, there’s prob’ly no cleats on your Florsheims.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=579193]Lazy Media[/re]: Man…even when Bowling, Tricky Dick crossed the line.

  • Darkness

    Needz more cleets!

  • TGY

    Oh, a *detail* man.

  • crapshooter102

    Where is Kenneth Starr when you need him?

  • druranium

    I bet Nixon wore cleats on the bowling lane. What an asshole!

  • TGY

    [re=579191]gurukalehuru[/re]: Those are called “catcher’s signals” in baseball.

  • Panquake

    Probably on ‘roids, just like Terrible Negro Barry Bonds.

  • yargisbargis

    You know American culture is in decline when we don’t display elegant brocade wallpaper in our bowling lanes anymore.

  • Nigel

    [re=579202]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]:
    You think I’m fucking around here? Mark it zero!

  • harry palmer

    Note the jacket’s red. How much you wanna bet there’s a hammer and sickle on his back? Why don’t they show the back of the jacket????????? WHY??????

  • Pete-O

    Hopey’s got a shitload of balls, for once.

  • harry palmer

    [re=579230]Nigel[/re]: “Hey, pendejo, I’m gonna put that piece up your ass, and pull the trigger until it goes click.”

  • JMP

    Hm; Obama throws out the first pitch for the Nationals, and for the first time ever they not only stop being the worst team in baseball, but are actually a little above .500. Coincidence?

  • Autochthon

    As a catcher, I’m suddenly overwhelmed by visions of Barry as a pitcher. If only he played on our team… *sigh*

  • krustysfather

    He’s just making sure he doesn’t throw a Bababooey.

  • Mr Blifil

    Lefty. This changes everything.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=579193]Lazy Media[/re]: Obama needs to restore that wallpaper immediately, it would make him cooler than Shaft.

  • facehead

    Worse than pre-marital masturbation.

  • V572625694

    [re=579242]Mr Blifil[/re]: You never noticed? I think we’ve had 3 or 4 lefty preznidents in a row. It explains much.

  • druranium

    [re=579248]facehead[/re]: I remember you.
    Go, Ken! When is that book where you walk up the west coast coming out?

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=579256]V572625694[/re]: Was Dubya a lefty? I thought he were, but I could swear I saw a pic of him using his right to sign a bill.

    I know 41, Slick, & Obie are southpaws, though.

  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    I’m pretty sure this is from a West Wing episode.

  • Way Cool Larry

    He throws a mean spitball.

  • weejee

    [re=579266]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Some of us with the spiritual guidance of a ruler over the knuckles throw left but write right. Bless you Sister Caligula.

  • dogscantlookup

    War-crazed pacifist? Obama is Billy Jack

  • facehead

    [re=579275]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: They did do that!

    [re=579260]druranium[/re]: Sup babycakes. I’ve been peepin Wonkette all along, but for some reason stopped commenting — and I too want to see this Ken Layne book (I look forward to seeing David Denby’s review).

  • Mista Eko

    This is for the best. Remember last year’s all star game where he barely crossed home plate? Pujols leaned forward to catch that floater and saved his poll ratings for a few months.

  • WadISay

    Repub Congressional leadership calls balk.

  • McDuff

    [re=579256]V572625694[/re]: “Lefties of the world unite; throw off the chains of your right-handed oppressors!” (What Karl Marx really said before Engles changed it a bit.)

  • McDuff

    [re=579275]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: It was; President Sheen practiced in the White House hallway — he may have broke a vase.

  • Extemporanus

    Nice Walgreen’s regional assistant manager jacket, dork.

  • Lazy Media

    [re=579202]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’.