THIS IS ALL TRUE  2:27 pm May 17, 2010

ATTACK AD: Meg Whitman Ran eBay, And eBay Had Porn

by Jim Newell

This one’s kind of a STRETCH — meaning, “effective.” California Republican gubernatorial candidate Steve Poizner is attacking his primary opponent Meg Whitman, former CEO of eBay, for having all sorts of porn available on the eBay while she was running it. Poizner’s ad even shows an insecure teenager about to jerk off to Meg Whitman’s eBay.com, the #1 pornography site on the Internet. “Meg Whitman started a separate division that only sells porn.” WHAT A MONSTER! Go back to mixing it in with children’s books and gardening supplies! [Ben Smith]

 
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{ 61 comments }

Baldar T Flagass May 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Some of my fondest early-internet memories circa 1998 consist of my frantically waxing the bishop whilst clicking on forbidden eBay links.

mumblyjoe May 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Wow, it truly is a slow news day today on our Wonketes.

And apparently a slow politics forever in California, judging by the “hard-hitting topical political advertisements” they’re running.

JMP May 17, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I’ve heard that terrorists were allowed to use Ebay, too; Meg Whitman supports the terrorists!

Nappied Hypotenuse May 17, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Oh, don’t I wish I’d copyrighted that clickety-clickety-surfin’-for-porn sound effect back when I had the chance.

Serolf Divad May 17, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Let’s call this the “jerking teen” ad. ’cause it’s so awesome.

V572625694 May 17, 2010 at 2:36 pm

She’s a monster for taking kickbacks from Gold Mansacks, whom it’s apparently now okay for Republicans to hate, when they aren’t sending in their résumés.

Dear Mr Blankfein,

Now that I’ve left office, I know that I can make a positive contribution to your enterprise, just like it made a contribution to me…

KilgoreTrout_XL May 17, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Well I’ll be fucked. +5 gold stars for Porn Whitman.

ph7 May 17, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Just checked on Ebay:
“242 results found for Communist Manifesto”
“98 results found for Mein Kampf”
“310 results found for Amnesty”
“4,416 results found for Jane Fonda” !!!!!

SayItWithWookies May 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm

I was looking for a way to get down and dirty with hoes and rakes — and ebay was loaded with that sort of ugliness.

iwillsavethispatient May 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Ah, those Republicans, always choosing to support tough government regulation of business. Why won’t you let the hand of the free market control these things, you Commies!

Knob Gobbler May 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm

So, um, what’s the link to that, um, separate division? Anyone care to share?

a_pink_poodle May 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm

“Meg Whitman also runs a website on the INTERNET; known for hosting CHILD PORNOGRAPHY and NEO-NAZI MATERIALS! Do we want a politician that runs a website on the same internet as CHILD PORN and NEO NAZI websites?!”

Paid for by the Anti-Meg Whitman Taskforce.com

NJB May 17, 2010 at 2:42 pm

I gotta say, though – I always love it when Republicans use Republican tactics on other Republicans – especially when other Republicans are surprised. Moments like those are a reason to keep going.

queeraselvis v 2.0 May 17, 2010 at 2:42 pm

[re=578611]mumblyjoe[/re]: +1 for “hard-hitting,” indeed.

Mr Blifil May 17, 2010 at 2:43 pm

This NSFW sensitivity shit is getting out of hand. Today I have been roundly cheated out of a Meg Whitman money shot. And no, that’s not “OK.”

germansteel May 17, 2010 at 2:44 pm

If you can make Elena Kagan out to be a socialist because she, as a history major in college, wrote a college thesis on the history of a fringe socialist group, you can make Meg Whitman out to be a pornographer via eBay. You got to hand it to the Republicans, they are nothing if not “free association” experts.

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Some of us considered it a good thing when the porn went into its own section. Back in the early days of eBay, you’d be looking at a Peter Gabriel CD or a piece of jewelry from the Mamie Eisenhower collection and BINGO … the photo would turn to twat. Why can’t hackers do something constructive like overthrow the government?

iwillsavethispatient May 17, 2010 at 2:44 pm

[re=578628]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Oh wait, the ad wasn’t saying that eBay shouldn’t be allowed to sell teens porn, it’s saying that Meg Whitman shouldn’t get elected because she sells porn to teens. Never mind. The invisible hand of the market survives for another day!

Joshua Norton May 17, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Geez. You’d be hard put to find anything on eBay that some repressed wingnut didn’t have a fetish about and want to screw.

Extemporanus May 17, 2010 at 2:46 pm

0:28 –> “GOLDMAN SACHS DEALS PORNOGRAPHY MONEY”

Um, duhhh!

bitchincamaro May 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm

But page views were limited due to the “stickieness”. Ew.

Extemporanus May 17, 2010 at 2:49 pm

[re=578629]Knob Gobbler[/re]: http://www.auctionboy.com

Buttery1000 May 17, 2010 at 2:49 pm

So this is a pro Whitman ad? I’m confused.

JMP May 17, 2010 at 2:50 pm

[re=578611]mumblyjoe[/re]: It’s also a violation of the Wonkette Politico link ban.

Allyson May 17, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Well, at least she’ll have a plausible answer when asked how she plans to come up with the money to fix the California budget deficit. Let’s give a big hand for fiscal responsibility!

x111e7thst May 17, 2010 at 3:01 pm

[re=578627]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I see what you did there.

BOOBIES! May 17, 2010 at 3:03 pm

Meg likes to pal around with pornographers.

Speaking of pornography… I thought the porn industry was the largest employer in the new California economy. Selling porn on ebay is job creation. Steve better shut his mouth.

BlueStateLiberal May 17, 2010 at 3:03 pm

But you can also buy Beanie Babies and Thomas Kinkade prints on eBay, what could be more wholesome? BTW, thanks eBay for helping me corner the market on these precious items–I know their value will soon quadruple (eat your hearts out you all!)

JMP May 17, 2010 at 3:05 pm

The center of porn production in America, if not the world, is the San Fernando Valley in Southern California; so by facilitating the sale of porn, Meg Whitman was helping California’s porn economy. Why does Mr. Poizner want to hurt California’s economy?

Come here a minute May 17, 2010 at 3:07 pm

This has got to be the first ad that implies Meg Whitman caused a teenager to jerk off.

Hooray For Anything May 17, 2010 at 3:08 pm

[re=578648]Buttery1000[/re]: Yeah, this was the first Whitman ad that made me actually like her. And if the state is falling apart, it does speak highly of California that this porn is an issue and not one’s belief in Evolution

jus_wonderin May 17, 2010 at 3:10 pm

eBay? Porn? Who knew? Do you have to bid on it???

snideinplainsight May 17, 2010 at 3:11 pm

uhhh,
ConservEBayia?
eConservBayea?
eBay-conservateria?

Somebody help me out here -

Crankenstank May 17, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Meg Whitman hated guns so much she took them off eBay? Oh why does she hate our second amendment rights?

snideinplainsight May 17, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Yes, but what about the NEW Pornographers? You can buy them on iTunes, I hear.

loquaciousmusic May 17, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Does anyone else think that Meg Whitman bares a striking resemblance to Waldorf?

mumblyjoe May 17, 2010 at 3:20 pm

[re=578649]JMP[/re]: To be fair, if there’s a reason to lapse with the Politico ban, Ben Smith, being slightly less than completely awful, is probably it. I sort of picture his stuff as the “Food for Oil” of the Politico embargo.

Scarab May 17, 2010 at 3:22 pm

“Meg Whitman pornography”? You had me excited there for a minute (yeah, I’m like that).

Mahousu May 17, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Relax, plenty of guns on eBay – over 221,000 hits, so to speak. Unfortunately, I just missed out on this one.

GOPCrusher May 17, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Goldman Sachs deals? Pornography? Money? If these are things that they are against, then obviously, this is no longer your father’s Republican Party.

mustardman May 17, 2010 at 3:36 pm

All he had to say is that she ran eBay. She did a fine job of trying to run it into the ground too. They still haven’t recovered and still haven’t made a dime from skype which they paid billions for.

bitchincamaro May 17, 2010 at 3:36 pm

That kid has so pitched a tent under his laptop.

Way Cool Larry May 17, 2010 at 3:38 pm

awesome! a new internet porn site for me!

Bypartizoa May 17, 2010 at 3:42 pm

I’m gonna try jerking off to Meg Whitman

jimstoic May 17, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Does Steve Jobs know about this? Will eBay be banned from the iPad?

One Yield Regular May 17, 2010 at 3:56 pm

This is why perennial candidate Steve Poizner will never be governor. Trying to sell this kind of faux outrage in California, of all places, is like trying to shock Wasilla residents by pointing out the existence of meth labs and pentecostal churches.

ph7 May 17, 2010 at 4:05 pm

[re=578742]Bypartizoa[/re]: You may want to buy one of those guns, with one bullet, if you succeed.

An Outhouse May 17, 2010 at 4:18 pm

A wealthy porn provider. God gave to the wrong parents. Why can’t Meg be my Mom.

lawrenceofthedesert May 17, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Meg Whitman IS porngraphy, just as Steve Poizner is a crime against nature.

kirktastic May 17, 2010 at 4:36 pm

I thought Poizner only cared about the dirty immigrants bleeding the state dry. He cares about porn too? She’s liberal! He’s Liberaler! She’s Liberalerer. Both are distancing themselves from Arnold and say they’re the reincarnation of Governor Reagan and they conveniently forgot Ronnie raised taxes to deal with his deficit problem.

Porn is a major California export right behind box wine and avocados. I’m voting for Jerry because he’s pro-porn, pro-vino, and pro-guacamole.

mumblyjoe May 17, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Also, apparently sales of human organs are banned on EBay, which leads me to the only possible conclusion: Meg Whitman supports rationing of medical care.

ArugulaTeleprompterz May 17, 2010 at 5:25 pm

[re=578806]kirktastic[/re]: “pro-porn, pro-vino, pro-guacamole” sounds like a very intriguing saturday night…

CthuNHu May 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

This is a frickin’ brilliant ad.

This ad has nothing whatsoever to do with porn on eBay.

This ad is ALL about the big red circle-and-slash over the guns.

WHITMAN TEK YER GUNZ!!! SHE HATE TEH SEKINT AMENMIT!!!

And it’ll work.

RoscoePColtraine May 17, 2010 at 5:53 pm

These Monet paintings for five dollars, which were banned by Megs….well, how could anyone think they should be worth more than that? So out of focus! And has anyone ever seen a Monet painting featuring a crying bald eagle? Or even something thought provoking, with a clear message?

Cmoney May 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Seeing that teenage boy image with one hand obscured by his laptop is what did it for me. Whitman, Obama, Hitler—same thing.

Aurelio May 17, 2010 at 6:13 pm

I can’t believe his name is “Poizner.” I checked it out on Wikipedia, and I still can’t believe it. Why didn’t he change his name to something politically appealing, like “Pimpner” or “Axemurdener”?

Mr Blifil May 17, 2010 at 11:33 pm

[re=578883]CthuNHu[/re]: That is a slight misreading. The ad attempts to pair guns and masturbation, in the most oblique and innocent manner possible, resulting in the inevitable calculation that Meg Whitman wants to take away your penis.

MsQuasimodo May 18, 2010 at 9:44 am

Fox News is buying ads on The Wonkette now?

Emmanuel Kepas May 18, 2010 at 9:16 pm

There are many justifiable concerns with Meg Whitman as Governor of California:
1) Meg Whitman promoted and supported an unstable management structure at eBay.
2) Meg Whitman supported and retained managers / supervisors who sexually harassed others, while permitting the firing of their victims and those who stood up for them.
3) Meg Whitman created and supported eBay’s Porn site.
See “Meg Whitman Revealed” at ekepas.com
Sincerely, Emmanuel Kepas

Aurelio May 20, 2010 at 2:27 am

[re=580226]Emmanuel Kepas[/re]: Did Meg Whitman Campaign pay for this message?

Aurelio May 20, 2010 at 2:29 am

[re=578628]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: It’s for the children.

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