the terrorist next door

Is There a *Reason* Why Terrorist South Carolina Has a Muslim Flag?

Why do they hate our way of life? Because they hate freedom (especially freedom for their black slaves).
South Carolina is filled with traitors — traitors who literally started a war with the United States, because we would not let them keep the vast majority of their population as chattel slaves. And the people of this bog-state are apparently *flaunting* these terroristic inclinations even today, according to Wonkette operative “Ed M.,” who just drove through the enemy territory and reports that “the state’s flag, logo, license plates, commemorative thimbles, etc. all have crescent moons on them. Even the tree they have under that Christian-hating moon looks Islamic.” Is it time to send predator drones and then nuclear missiles to this place, to save America, because We Are At War With Dangerous Extremists?

Look at the image above. Almost impossible to tell which one’s the Saudi Arabian embassy sign and which one is the traitor flag of traitor South Carolina. Here’s a clue: The Islamic crescent moon is on the South Carolina flag, while the Saudi embassy sign has Slavic words, for Communism.

Some might want to excuse this outrage, “just this one time,” but it’s not a “one time” problem, as made evident by the South Carolina official state seal, which is an exact duplicate of the Saudi Arabian “coat of arms” — both show an Arabian palm tree with the swords of jihad crossed beneath, in mockery of our American god:
American Jesus has no patience for this 'Middle East' place, wherever it is.

If the enemy in South Carolina has its way, one day soon we’ll all be driving around with this license plate:
Come on, Rush, declare war on S. Carolina!

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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114 comments

  1. ForTheTurnstiles

    Can’t we just ask Dave Cameron to request the royal navy to take these fuckers back? (SC *and* the middle east, I mean)

  2. norbizness

    I heard that the prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, hid in a Palmetto tree while General Sherman tried to install Shari’a law in Atlanta.

  3. Formerly Preferred

    My parents used to take me to Kiawah Island, which is a swanky resort off the coast of Charleston that was financed, in part, by a Kuwaiti company. For the longest time, I assumed that the involvement of the Kuwaitis explained the palm tree and crescent flags all over the place. It was only later that I learned that they were actually something to do with South Carolina.

  4. Mr Blifil

    This is a distortion. South Carolina is clearly advancing the fight against terrorism by allowing kindergarten students full protection under “Conceal and Carry” laws, to prevent middle-aged Chinese teabaggers from cold goin’ nuts with scimitars on the snowflake babies.

  5. the problem child

    Isn’t “prepared in mind and resources” what jihadists are expected to be? That seal is a call to fund terroriszms!!11!

  6. WadISay

    Does everything have to be about teh Muslins? The moon on the SC flag proudly represents lunatics.

  7. Long Form Def Certificate

    This makes Myrtle Beach’s rep as gay mecca — & even odder, Columbia’s as lesbian haven — all the more complicated.

  8. BlueStateLiberal

    So what you’re saying is the entire state of South Carolina is a sleeper cell? Send in the predator drones NOW!

  9. V572625694

    Do not ever try to keep up with SC fratboys drinking beer — drinking it fast is what they do, so fast it slobbers out the sides of their mouths and down onto their v-neck sweaters, which they tuck into their pants for some unaccountable reason. There is also much talk about “gamecocks.” It is very mysterious.

  10. rmontcal

    I’ve thought this for a long time. I always wondered why so many rednecks were such flamboyant Muslims. But then I thought, “Maybe they have to be Muslim to get some sort of secret access to cheap gas for their ginormous SUVs”, which was the type of vehicle that always seem to have these stickers.

  11. I Heart Accuracy

    Will this affect the Shriner’s circus? Plus, when you say “Al Kader” with a Southern accent…. ass tea.

  12. mdotsota

    [re=576462]V572625694[/re]: You’re right, it must be some kind of dual muslin terrorist/sexual deviant factory.

  13. mini_love

    Totally funny, but I am born and raised South Carolinian. Little history and botany lesson. It’s a palmetto tree, not a palm tree, and it represents Ft Moultrie defense in the Revolutionary War. The fort was made of palmetto tree logs, and absorbed the blasts of ship cannons.

    But in all seriousness, we heart Mohammed. For reals.

  14. JMP

    South Carolina hates us because they hate our freedoms. More specifically, they hate us for forcing them to share those freedoms with the coloreds, the womenfolk and somewhat with the gays.

  15. Baldar T Flagass

    “America’s Merkin,” with only Georgia separating it from “America’s Flaccid Dong.”

  16. Heywood Jablome

    Oh, this is too priceless, turning the wingnutty conspiracy “logic” back on to them.

    These trouble-making fucks should be at the top of the watch list, backdated to 1865.

    They got off light if you ask me. The whole state should have received the Carthage treatment as example to the rest of the traitors and insurrectionists. (Sadly, including both sides of my family tree in Mississippi. But justice must be done.)

  17. snideinplainsight

    Hey where is Kathleen Parker in all this? Doesn’t she LIVE in South-Carolina, where she lives among the ordinary-people?

  18. Radiotherapy

    Maybe we are looking at this the wrong way. Wasn’t the Kingdom of Saud just a sandy wilderness with camel shepherds until Oil, BP, and wahhibism came along in the 1920′s and 30′s? So, who used who’s imagery?

  19. ManchuCandidate

    Hey, that’s are Lojik! You can’t uze are Lojik agan us!! Only Wi can use that Lojik!

  20. Hart88

    What about the Shriners? They have an entire fleet of car bombs! OK, 1/2-scale car bombs, but they could still take out a bus stop.

  21. thefrontpage

    Is South Carolina still a part of the United States? Lots of people thought they left the country years ago.

  22. JMP

    [re=576457]mdotsota[/re]: There used to be a Beaver College near me; they eventually changed their name because many porn filters blocked their website (previously they didn’t mind the snickering, because they sold a hell of a lot of t-shirts etc. for a tiny liberal arts school). I wonder if BJU has the same issues.

  23. F*T*S*

    In response, Juan McCain said, “That old, eh, that old Beach Boys song, Bomb South Carolina.” McCain then chuckled before briefly singing — to the tune of the chorus of the Beach Boys’ classic “Barbara Ann” — “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, anyway, ah …. hengh?”

  24. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=576466]God, Country, and Jail[/re]: Not Slavic, then. But delicious. Pass the halal paprikash!

  25. Patty Dumpling

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT: The letters in “South Carolina” are only an anagram for “Holocaust Iran”.

    Look it up.

  26. SittingPretty

    [re=576447]the problem child[/re]: It gets worse. SC has two official state mottos. The other is “While I breathe, I hope”. Clearly an Obama reference.

  27. nappyduggs

    And here you thought those bar-b-q spots that served up only BEEF ribs and chicken were named after some hillbilly called “Hal Al” Think again, sheeple!

  28. crapshooter102

    [re=576455]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: The Argentine site is under construction. Hope to get it done before the Luv Guv leaves.

  29. Baldar T Flagass

    [re=576475]Heywood Jablome[/re]: They did, it’s just that William Tecumseh Sherman was a bit geographically challenged.

  30. mumblyjoe

    One of these two places have governments that love the idea of torturing their own citizens, and want to establish theocratic law (also sometimes called “Sharia law”) not only within its own borders, but in other countries, by force.

    The other one is called Saudi Arabia.

  31. Lascauxcaveman

    I’ve got a buddy who talks a little AAY-rab. He told me the word “palmetto,” roughly translates into “Death to Christians.”

  32. SayItWithWookies

    Oh, my — apparently Francis Scott Key had something to do with this (go to the Slavery and Islam section of the page) — he mailed a Muslim South Carolinian a Bible translated into Arabic. It doesn’t say if he got an English Qur’an in return — but wouldn’t that be the obvious choice? We should start looking in the Star Spangled Banner for hints of Mohammedanism.

  33. Ghostface

    You people are ignorant fucking retards. I’m as liberal as they come, but this is why you are insufferable at parties.

  34. What Fresh Hell is This?

    [re=576506]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This represents the best conspiracy theory yet: slavery was an Islamic plot to insert sleeper cells all across U.S. America. Now they cover SC, from Coward to Lynchburg.

    A-rab, Alabama, also.

  35. mumblyjoe

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]: Because we do Daily Show-esque parodies of Andrew Breitbart’s obnoxious Internet Concerns? I thought it had more to do with the preening fixation on “culture”.

    Well, now that I stand corrected, I can go to all the wine-tastings and gallery openings I want, just as long as I’m not sarcastic on the Internet sometimes!

  36. DC Hates Me

    Probably explains all the falafel places in Charleston. Southerners love their pita food.

  37. lizzieborden

    Funny, I thought I was insufferable at parties because I get shit-face drunk and start showing my rack.

  38. twoeightnine

    The fort was made of palmetto tree logs, and absorbed the blasts of ship cannons.

    By fort you mean butt and blasts you mean butt sex.

  39. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=576533]mumblyjoe[/re]: Actually, he’s right about me at least. I’m insufferable at parties, beginning the moment I cross from ‘delightfully buzzed’ to ‘shitface drunk.’

    And then I toss my cookies in the brie & arugula salad.

  40. Heywood Jablome

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]: Lighten up, Francis! If ever a state deserved hacking on, it’s South Fucking Carolina. It’s all just good, clean, mean-spirited fun.

  41. McDuff

    “South Carolina … started a war with the United States, because we would not let them keep the vast majority of their population as chattel slaves.”

    Hate to be serious, but South Carolina did not secede because of any actual action taken against slavery by the Federal government. South Carolina seceded even before Lincoln’s inauguration merely because they feared what Lincoln might do — despite Lincoln’s pledge that he would not interfere with slavery where it existed, only that he would oppose its expansion into the new (and Federally controlled) Western terrorities.

    In other words, the rich, white Muslins in SC yelled a big “YOU LIE!” at Lincoln even before he actually became President — in the end leading to the deaths of 600,000, the wounding of more than a million, and the economic and physical destruction of the South.

  42. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=576506]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Also makes you reconsider the provenance of Jay Gatsby’s money. Or, should I say, Jalil al-Ghazbi?

  43. Katydid

    [re=576539]lizzieborden[/re]: Um, unless you’re a man, only the wimmins get mad when you get drunk at parties and show your rack. And not all the wimmins get mad.

  44. Tundra Grifter

    [re=576478]Radiotherapy[/re]: Either the Kingdom of Saud or Texas (cattle instead of camels). When a A-Rabs decided to form the oil cartel (OPEC) they needed a model. So they used the Texas Railway Commission that “regulates” oil production because oil moves and railroads move and it just made a whole lotta sense. Back then. Apparently.

  45. Tundra Grifter

    Who else remembers the right wing nut who got all upset about the special “Obama Flag” flying during the Presidential campaign – until someone else pointed out it was the state flag of Ohio?

  46. mumblyjoe

    [re=576539]lizzieborden[/re]: No, I’m pretty sure that makes you… umm… what’s that thing called that’s the opposite of insufferable?

  47. mumblyjoe

    [re=576533]mumblyjoe[/re]: Honestly, all the gallery openings and wine-tastings in the world wouldn’t be enough to make me want to live in a world where I couldn’t be sarcastic on the Internet.

    I can’t tell whether that makes me a good liberal, or a bad one, any more.

  48. S.Luggo

    [re=576455]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

    “South Carolina Prioritäten
    Begrenzen Regierung und Zunahme der persönlichen Freiheit. Wir sind als Verwaltung für die Ideale der Regierung begrenzt und die persönliche Freiheit verpflichtet. Einer der besten Wege, diese Ideen zu fördern, glauben wir, wird durch Eintreten für niedrigere Steuern und niedrigere Staatsausgaben.”

    Und next, Poland.

  49. BobTheBuilder

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]: Don’t you know only Sarah Palin gets to use the word “retards”?

  50. snoidoid

    Hey, wait a minute! That’s not the seal of South Carolina! There’s no reference to Argentina on it!

  51. Gumboz1953

    [re=576560]Katydid[/re]: Depends what you mean by “rack.” Some guys have a rack upon which you could hang a decent size coat. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway.

  52. the problem child

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]: I am insufferable at parties because I can be. What’s your excuse?

  53. JMP

    [re=576560]Katydid[/re]: It does depend on the rack; it could be an eighty-year-old or three-hundred-pounder flashing themselves, in which case it’s just “ew”.

  54. Carolina

    As a native South Carolinian, let me point out that no one has anything to worry about. South Carolina hasn’t succeeded at anything much in living memory other than creating barbecue and gated communities. Before that, the secession thing didn’t work out too well for us. The Governor, Legislature, and some of our Congressional representatives work hard at maintaining our perfect record. If anyone is going to be Islamic jihadists, you can just be glad it is South Carolinians rather than a state with a chance of success.

  55. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=576539]lizzieborden[/re]: Heh! I vaguely remember autographing those things! You want your sharpie back? I still have it.

    (PS, I’m not really Robbie Benson, just a lookalike.)

  56. rottenart

    [re=576569]S.Luggo[/re]: Oder Georgia.

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]:NUH UNH!! YOU are!

  57. rottenart

    I wonder how many South Carolinians are discovering this frightening information about their flag RIGHT NOW from this Wonkette post.

  58. lizzieborden

    [re=576601]JMP[/re]: Well, let me assure you, for a 45 yo female, I have a rocking rack. Old school, like out of the 1940-50′s. Not those cone shape ones from the ’70′s.

  59. turbanlegends

    I kid you not, the arabic on that last license plate literally says “Tits Tmlb”. Whaddya make of that??

  60. lizzieborden

    [re=576629]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Hey, now I remember. Of course I now have an aversion to both brie and arugula, thank you very much. I got a new sharpie I keep tucked in my bra for just such occasions.

  61. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]: “I’m as liberal as they come, but this is why you are insufferable at parties.”

    I hate parties. They always seem to end up with everyone naked in the hot tub, and who’s foot is that?, and who’s hand is that?, and so forth.

  62. Roll Fish

    [re=576468]mini_love[/re]:
    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]:
    I think you guys are missing the point. FOX keeps bringing up stories on the new Missile Defense logo, Obama’s campaign logo, and the Nuclear Summit logo, saying how they are totally Muslim and Obama is a Muslim because he has put a Muslim Crescent Moon in it. They seem to find Obama’s secret Muslim messages everywhere but I doubt any of them would for a second think to bring up South Carolina’s Muslim flag.

    Also you are doing the Wonkette thing wrong. If you are taking anything here seriously then you are just awful.

  63. One Yield Regular

    As someone obligated for family reasons to travel to South Carolina far too often, I find this post disheartening. Once the wingnuts – and their fellow travelers, the state’s general population – get wind of this, they’re going to demand that the only aesthetically-pleasing thing about the whole state be changed to some flag that will inevitably resemble a cross between the decor inside a Sons of the Confederacy lodge and a Balkan republic coat of arms (with shot-guns instead of swords).

    As Chris Rock once said about the Confederate-themed flag flying over the Columbia statehouse, they’d be better off replacing it with a picture of a Saltine.

  64. wilbro

    South of the Border is South Carolina’s greatest gift to civilization. And they call it an “oasis” so must be muslin.

    http://www.thesouthoftheborder.com/

    Prolly also a haven for wide-stanced senators looking for some highway restroom action. Camelbacking, if you will.

  65. Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=576457]mdotsota[/re]: George Rekers is known for the classes he teaches at BJ University. The subject matter will blow your load, er, mind! The ‘textbook’ is expensive but well endowed.

  66. sezme

    I still hold out hope that one day South Karolina will lay down its swords, give up its Marxist ideology, and we will have reunification of the two Karolinas. Until that day, constant vigilance.

  67. Jukesgrrl

    They also have those Muslim symbols embroidered in miniature on their golf pants. By Chinese people.

  68. Darkness

    [re=576525]Ghostface[/re]: And snarky tit for tat is wrong exactly how? And you’re assuming we get invited to parties.

  69. President Beeblebrox

    [re=576484]JMP[/re]: Well, that, and the fact that Beaver College used to be a womens’ college, because why not.

    Arcadia University just doesn’t have the same snicker-inducing ring to it, does it?


  70. Post author
    Ken Layne

    The Arabic in the last picture, by the way, says “Palmetto State.” Read it left-to-right, of course, just like all those Jewish languages. (I typed it myself.)

  71. steverino247

    [re=576527]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Arab, Alabama. Man, what a shithole that was in the mid-70′s. It was widely believed that you should not go there if you weren’t related to somebody and certainly not after dark. And that was for the white guys.

    [re=576692]RubberSoul[/re]: Not since Billy Sherman last visited, anyway.

  72. FlipOffResearch

    I had much fun with this post. During break at work today, I had finished my Wonkette and turned to the New York Times when a coworker showed up at my desk to chit chat. He didn’t take any of my hints to stop bugging me, so then I got an idea. He had shared with me his belief that Obama is secretly a Muslim that wants to take all of our guns away. So I knew he would share my outrage with this SC Muslim flag debacle. I opened up this post and read it to him verbatim full of Glen Beckian drama. Look at that Muslim crescent, I wagged my finger at the screen. By the end of break that guy was spitting mad that the Muslims had somehow taken over SC. I wouldn’t be surprised if he loaded up his pickup truck with guns and drove straight to SC as soon as work was over. Thank you Wonkette.

  73. S. Cullen Bonz

    So which hand in South Carolina is for shaking and which one is for “hygiene”.

  74. DagNabbit

    You know why White Christian Males hate Muslims?
    Muslims get to beat thier wives in public.
    And that wasn’t really a joke.

  75. AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=576966]Ken Layne[/re]:

    Ken, what misguided software told you that that said “Palmetto State”?
    That’s not even legal Arabic.

  76. Mr. Right

    Your knowledge of South Carolina is quite understandable. First, people that stand up for thier rights are not traitors. George Washington, Samuel Adams, Thomas Jefferson, etc.. these men were not traitors. Second, any student of history knows that at the time of the secession, a census was conducted and it was noted that less than 1% of the ENTIRE POPULATION was enslaved and that less than 1/2 was located in South Carolina. Secondly, about .7% of the South Carolina population held slaves. Sslaves were not included as people in the census. Third, The further inland you went, the less and less you would see slaves as it wasn’t as prevelant. So, to call 99% of a states population traitors becuase a few powerful men wanted slavery is inaccurate. You must not forget that US Grant held slaves. You must not forget that the war didn’t turn into a war on slavery until 1863 when the US had lost just about every major engagement. So, before you spout your ignorance, don’t be an emotional child and do your homework.

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