A Hill staffer (or at least a hobo squatter of some sort) sends us this picture of the latest technological monstrosity to be installed at the new-ish Capitol Visitors Center, which serves as a federal testing ground for expensive nonsense that goes way past budget. What is this new machine, and what are its feelings vis-Ã -vis the extinction of the human race?
This is on the SL (slave level?) of the Capitol Visitor Center. No more than 18 months ago, a shiny new water fountain was installed here. Monday, they tore that one out (it was still v. shiny), and today, this.
It’s incredible. It’s got a bottle sensor and commensurate bottle outline, and a little digital counter to tell you how much “waste from plastic water bottles” you’ve saved. Ohh, that water fountain.
But where’s the flusher? Oh right, it’s a water fountain.
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This will be torn out when the GOP crushes in November.
Water fountains that can sense the presence of a water bottle? Electronic cigarette banner ads on wonkette? What a bright future of amazing technologies await us!
Cue all the wingnuts buying bottled water by the case just to piss off the liberals. I really do think it is time for POTUS to give a national address about the dangers of drinking drain cleaner. That should thin the herd somewhat.
Are they suggesting water-filled condoms would be appropriate for the next Tea Bag Party to be held on the steps of Congress?
Wow – a combination urinal and water fountain! Why didn’t anyone think of that before?
Are you sure it’s not a bidet? Because it looks kinda tiolet-y.
[re=575906]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
I was trying to work in something condom-themed, but I couldn’t come up with anything that good.
They already have these in Paris. It’s a water fountain/bidet combo. At least that’s how I used it.
Grr, I hate people who waste time at water fountains filling up a bottle; and now Congress wants to encourage that behavior? What’s next, a “park your fat asses right here and don’t move out of the way of those who actually have somewhere to go” sign in the middle of the sidewalk?
It’s also a fast bidet for pages to just throw a leg over when they’re in a hurry.
Isn’t this the place one congress member said smelled bad because of the average citizens that were there?
The capitol Visitors Center has a whippits dispenser?!
Don’t let Steve King know about this, or he’s gonna insist that “In God We Trip” be engraved on it.
This won’t end well.
Let me know when they install the beer dispenser.
Libertarians are so cute when they forget economics (inflation) because it makes their larger point.
* Yes, I know that $70m in 1993 is only $102m in 2009, but nonetheless.
[re=575912]Mr. Herpes[/re]: You served time in a Parisian prison?
I guess that would explain your nom de Wonkette…
Does it subtract the amount of water it wastes when someone leaves their water bottle on the stand and the fountain runs over? Or the number of jobs lost when a factory that makes water bottles is shut down? Or the amount of exercise you don’t get walking back and forth to the wate fountain now that you have a fancy new bottle? Or the humanity?
Needs more turd stuck in the drain.
[re=575908]sezme[/re]: There’s a waterfront dive bar in Oakland(?) called Merchant’s, I think. The base of the bar is actually one long urinal, alas no longer functioning, but bloody brilliant.
Hey, I just came up with a totally new an original observation that nobody else could have thought of yet – that looks kind of like a bidet!
Th’ outline looks kinda tampon-y to me. This is surely designed to confuse and vex.
I always wanted a water fountain with custom Super Soaker 50 filling station: http://www.amazon.com/Super-Soaker-Water-Blaster-Anniversary/dp/B001GXGHAW
Too bad it’s about 15 years too late.
Where do you set your ass on it?
Needs moar trucknutz
It can’t fly?
The liberal water fountain in the liberal building I work in has a godless bottle filter… but this one looks like it costs 1000x more.
[re=575931]JMP[/re]: You know why they had all the cost overruns? Because when the project directors needed something built or installed by an outside contractor, instead of looking for the best price, they just said, “Bid? Eh.”
I bet it was made in China.
this isn’t so special. if you’re tall enough, you can piss in any water fountain, old or new. hell, you can use the kitchen sink. i do it all the time when i’m drunk (don’t tell the wife).
[re=575919]Extemporanus[/re]: You’d think they would put the nozzle facing outward, not down, so the balloon can inflate properly. That’s just bad design there.
I think I saw that in the last Star Trek. Spock (either one of them) was talking to it. It beeped and chirped and then Scotty appeared all glittery-like.
[re=575908]sezme[/re]: [re=575930]bitchincamaro[/re]: Someone at the Madonna Inn already did.
Drinking out of it can be kinda messy, though, especially if you’re not paying attention to which way your mouth is facing.
[re=575909]Oblios Cap[/re]: But where is the nozzle?
They had these things in Dune. It’s a personal water recycler – you pee in, and “fresh” water comes out.
For it to work properly, you have to keep it well-stocked. So make sure you don’t take out any more than you put in.
[re=575930]bitchincamaro[/re]: That was often the case in the 19th century when women didn’t frequent saloons. Pretty handy.
Shouldn’t this have a security camera attached? Oh wait, there it is, the black square to the right.
[re=575951]SayItWithWookies[/re]: A streamlined, uncluttered touchscreen with the simple phrase “Slide to inhale” would’ve presented a much more elegant design solution.
Why when I was your age we got OUR water from a dank hole in the ground that we could only get to by hiking barefoot, in the snow, five miles each way, uphill even on the way back, all the while carrying a stolen metal cross on our backs. And we learned to like it. Now get offa my lawn, you danged kids.
Repukes are drooling to get into power and rip this commie machine out. Remember when they gloated about Ronald Raygun’s tearing out Jimmy Carter’s hippie solar panels from the White House? After all fossil fuels will last forever!
[re=575980]One Yield Regular[/re]: if’n you’d a-taken sum o’that snow inside an’ melted it in the kitchen by the stove, you could a-made yerself a mite shorter trip.
[re=575980]One Yield Regular[/re]: Also, I’m unaware of any hiking paths that require being barefoot.
[re=575980]One Yield Regular[/re]: Jeez, what a pampered little so-and-so you were! We did all that AFTER our 18-hour shift in the mine. And we had to get it on credit from the company dank hole store.
FIAT WATER!!!
I like this. The wingnuts got their big-ass “In Jesus We Trust” sign into the Capitol Visitors Center, it seems perfectly reasonable that the dirty hippies get something actually useful to balance it out.
Tonight on Fox News: Why does this water machine not acknowledge God as the fountainhead of Freedom?
[re=575900]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: and replaced with a machine that kills an endangered baby animal every time someone takes a sip.
“Wash Dildo Here”
This will shoot a thirsty Trig right in the face!
Not funny dude.
[re=575957]Extemporanus[/re]: I remember that, when I was a kid our family used to stop there for breakfast.
I liked the silver dollar pancakes.
And that waterfall urinal.
Great. Somebody figured out a way to put a microchip in a water fountain. You’ll go thirsty when the grid goes down.
This is really just a fancy “penis washing” station for congressman after they buttfuck their interns.
[re=576081]OzoneTom[/re]: There’s a reason why its “Gold Rush Steak House” is awash in “Pepto Pink”.
[re=575980]One Yield Regular[/re]: Yes, Senator McCain…(eyeroll)
Cumbucket Filling Station
When the green light is on, it’s being eco-friendly. When the red light is on, evacuate the Capitol.
It’s a right-wing plot, man! You put your bottle there and it fills up with Republican pee. And the fountain part shoots Republican cum!
[re=575900]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Only to be replaced by a cheap garden hose, always on but not enough to drink. And a sign saying “colored.”
If you turn on the heating element it also restores your self of steam.
[re=575939]Our Hobo Senator[/re]: Needs moar Duchamp.
Antonin Scalia approved this as a Florida Democrat’s voting booth. Cast ballot, then flush.
No, not too bitter. Not at all.
[re=575939]Our Hobo Senator[/re]: You just gave me a really cool idea for using up my idle downtime in the summer months: sneaking around campus and installing TruckNutz below all the water fountains!
[re=576273]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Damned Futurist. You are now on the no-boat list.
[re=575940]engulfedinflames[/re]: Not with Roger Ailes in it. However, such a load it might be able to core directly to the center of the planet Earth. Flames, more flames.
[re=575908]sezme[/re]: Wow – a combination urinal and water fountain! Why didn’t anyone think of that before?
Ummm… every water fountain ever made in the entire history of water fountains matches that description. Don’t make me prove it (again).
[re=576086]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Worse yet, we’re all gonna die in a nuclear holocaust when this Cyberdyne Water Dispensation System becomes self-aware in 1997. Michael Biehn told me, in a dream.
[re=576333]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: “Cyberdyne Water Dispensation System becomes self-aware in 1997.”
Oh crap. Then again, I recently bought one of those quick change garments that disguise me as a soda vending machine so the CWDS won’t be able to “see” me. Of course, it might want to mate with me in that camoflague.
I have to admit, I thought it was a toilet too. I can see someone dropping trou.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
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