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Back in 2008, the hottest fad among European politicians was to get their pictures taken with presidential candidate Barack Obama, who was much more popular among Europeans than any of them. David Cameron, who had been preparing for his royal takeover of Britain for years already, chased Barack Obama all over the place. Up top, we have Cameron’s video from election night 2008. He watched Barack Obama win on the telly and read about his Glories in the local news-tabloids, and then proceeded to suck up like the Dickens. “I KNOWETH THIS MAN. WE ARE BEST CHAPS. HE LOVES ME,” he narrates.


Here is Cameron’s video from Obama’s visit to Englandtowne in July, 2008, where they sat next to each other in green chairs and talked policy and probably all sorts of other really important stuff. Obama’s only reason to make that whole 12-day trip to the Old World was to meet the awesome and important politician David Cameron, our stalker implies.

During this same trip, a very suspicious open mic caught a private conversation between Cameron and Obama, where Cameron told him a bunch of bad (WINNING!) jokes and offered him friendly advice, because they were best chaps and this is how best chaps talk to each other.

CAMERON: You should be on the beach. You need a break. Well, you need to be able to keep your head together.

OBAMA: You’ve got to refresh yourself.

CAMERON: Do you have a break at all?

OBAMA: I have not. I am going to take a week in August. But I agree with you that somebody, somebody who had worked in the White House who — not Clinton himself, but somebody who had been close to the process — said that, should we be successful, that actually the most important thing you need to do is to have big chunks of time during the day when all you’re doing is thinking. And the biggest mistake that a lot of these folks make is just feeling as if you have to be …

CAMERON: These guys just chalk your diary up.

OBAMA: Right. … In 15 minute increments and …

CAMERON: We call it the dentist waiting room. You have to scrap that because you’ve got to have time.

OBAMA: And, well, and you start making mistakes or you lose the big picture. Or you lose a sense of, I think you lose a feel …

CAMERON: Your feeling. And that is exactly what politics is all about. The judgment you bring to make decisions.

OBAMA: That’s exactly right. And the truth is that we’ve got a bunch of smart people, I think, who know 10 times more than we do about the specifics of the topics. And so if what you’re trying to do is micromanage and solve everything then you end up being a dilettante, but you have to have enough knowledge to make good judgments about the choices that are presented to you.

Look at the ease with which David Cameron converses with Barack Obama!

Cameron also gave Obama an English Smattering of cool musical recordings by the Smiths, Gorillaz, and Radiohead during this trip, which is what most stalkers do when they meet the person they’ve been stalking.

Anyway, today is the best day in David Cameron’s life. Not because he became prime minister of the United Kingdom — who would ever want such a thing? — but because OMFG, HE’S CALLING!

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