IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE A TORY  3:55 pm May 11, 2010

POSH-PONCE DAVID CAMERON IS UK PRIME MINISTER

by Ken Layne

The Queen's rabbit-goblin is all grow'd up!!!
It’s official, long live Her Majesty’s Saucy New Rabbit-Goblin, good luck poor folk and chavs everywhere! Margaret Thatcher is literally dancing in her grave! [BBC/Guardian]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 76 comments }

Mr Blifil May 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Too ro-ight!

getoffmylawn May 11, 2010 at 3:59 pm

who’s getting the appointment to be Minister of Silly Walks?

Buzz Feedback May 11, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Bloody re-runs.

yargisbargis May 11, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Hip hip cheerio!

V572625694 May 11, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Literally!

plowman May 11, 2010 at 4:00 pm

It’s about time for some posh somewhere, I’m tired of top-ramen, Natural Light and basic cable…

ForTheTurnstiles May 11, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Sigh. This Steven Harper fattie has got to go.

doloras May 11, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Jesus wept, Cleggy better have got something like free gay abortions for all and changing the official language to Walloon French in exchange for this. Still, it was inevitable given that about half the Labour Party would have preferred to go into opposition than do a deal with the Yellow Peril, as they call the LibDems.

On the bright side, thanks to my Wonkette, every time I see a picture of Posh Boy Cameron I will think: “just stone cold thinkin’ about cocks.”

Baldar T Flagass May 11, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Those soppy wankers…
Those dozy cunts.

user-of-owls May 11, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Well, now it’s obvious: the Queen reads Wonkette and she desparately wanted Ken to be able to keep running the cocks photo.

Shout out to Betty Jr.!

the problem child May 11, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Her Majesty is a pretty nice girl, but these goings on do try her patience.

ManchuCandidate May 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Who’s going to be the Minister in charge of the Ministry Of Silly Walks?

SayItWithWookies May 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm

So when does the war with Argentina start?

Bearbloke May 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Wait a moment, Yanks! It’s not official until Her Majesty brands his arse with the Great Seal… Tradition must be maintained!

slappypaddy May 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm

god save the queen

Mr Blifil May 11, 2010 at 4:07 pm

He believes that British Muslims have a duty to integrate into British culture, but notes that they find aspects such as high family breakdown and high drug use uninspiring, and notes that “Not for the first time, I found myself thinking that it is mainstream Britain which needs to integrate more with the British Asian way of life, not the other way around.”

Filthy mugblood lover…

Limeylizzie May 11, 2010 at 4:08 pm

God, I hate this fool already,his wife is actual aristocracy, on the bright side there were a bunch of Lib Dem/Crunchy Anti-War types screaming at the newbies as they left some meeting. This Govt. will be gone in about a year, they will have to call a new election within eighteen months I bet.If I drank , I would be drinking now .

qwerty42 May 11, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Ken, I thought you had to investigate the attack upon the true cross. Or something that required a wild hours-long drive in the jeep.

Bearbloke May 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm

[re=575004]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You mean over the Oil? If Tory PM Cameron is ever to become the next Mad Maggie, the war must start NOW!

Monsieur Grumpe May 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Upper class twit of the year.

Smoke Filled Roommate May 11, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Now he can daydream about cocks… as PM! Fancy that!

chascates May 11, 2010 at 4:11 pm

And another chapter of Blackadder begins.

Extemporanus May 11, 2010 at 4:12 pm

[re=574986]getoffmylawn[/re]: [re=575003]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Recent polls show that Heather Mills has a leg up on the competition.

Bearbloke May 11, 2010 at 4:13 pm

[re=575015]qwerty42[/re]: No worries! The True Cross will be a cherished item, mate!

S.Luggo May 11, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Cameron has a face which belongs in a Punch & Judy show. http://tinyurl.com/24qpcxb

The punch part, I mean.

JMP May 11, 2010 at 4:15 pm

And a bloody good pip pip cheerio to you too, guv’nor! Now time to smoke a fag in celebration.

WriteyWriterton May 11, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Multiple Conservatasms over this, chappies! Argentini-inians, beware!

ella May 11, 2010 at 4:17 pm

He’s been PM almost an hour now and still hasn’t done a damn thing. Useless.

S.Luggo May 11, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=575021]chascates[/re]: David has a cunning plan.

Bearbloke May 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm

[re=575029]JMP[/re]: Do you give the match a long stroke first?

user-of-owls May 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm

[re=575004]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You laugh. As we speak, Mark Sanford is engaged in urgent shuttle diplomacy to prevent an outbreak of hostilities between the two nations. The primary sticking point, of course, is over who exercises sovereignty over the Malivinas/Falklands Trail.

user-of-owls May 11, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=575029]JMP[/re]:

smoke a fag

Never realized it before, but that is one very flexible phrase. Consider, for example, its meaning in:

England
San Francisco
Texas

rptrcub May 11, 2010 at 4:23 pm

[re=575029]JMP[/re]: I’m sure at Eton he smoked plenty of fags.

Vulpes82 May 11, 2010 at 4:25 pm

At last, the Hanoverians have their revenge! William IV’s plan to knock up a common actress with multiple bastards, one of whom would one day be the ancestor to the Prime Minister, is finally at fruition! Suck it, you damn dirty Saxe-Coburg-Gothas!

snideinplainsight May 11, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Honestly, I still think Tom Baker was the best. I never watch the later ones -

SayItWithWookies May 11, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=575016]Bearbloke[/re]: Maybe it’s oil, maybe it’s a scam designed to inflate an oil company’s stock value. Not that it matters — the Argentines have gone to war for far less. Like the Falklands before it had oil.

[re=575039]user-of-owls[/re]: He only had an affair with an Argentinian because he got to fly there for free. Once he’s spending his own money, that cheap bastard wouldn’t drive to Myrtle Beach for pussy.

Bearbloke May 11, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=575013]Limeylizzie[/re]: Another reason to dislike this Posh Prat Pretender is that he has a drugs-history quite similar to to G Dumbya Bush, and the same dismissive do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do cover-story… and I’m certain he’ll do nothing to fully legalise Cannabis it in the UK as long as he can enjoy it in private…

sevenrepeat May 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Rumor has it Posh Cameron was born in Hawaii.

Elm Hugger May 11, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Don’t know, he got himself a pretty good looking wife, might need a bit of special attention while the hubby is away solving the world problems…..

Bearbloke May 11, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Cameron’s also the very same clueless glory-seeking drongo whose misunderstanding of the Jam’s “The Eton Rifles” caused Paul Weller to remark “Which part of it didn’t he get? It wasn’t intended as a fucking jolly drinking song for the cadet corps.” Typical NeoCon-ish Warhawk Prat… perhaps he’s part of the Bush crime-family also?

DemmeFatale May 11, 2010 at 4:39 pm

[re=575052]snideinplainsight[/re]: Please. Jon Pertwee rules!

WriteyWriterton May 11, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Adenoidal public-school wankers with congenital overbites all over the sceptred isle will be punishing it – you know, IT – to you-tubes of PM Spice. ‘Sblood!

Limeylizzie May 11, 2010 at 4:44 pm

[re=575067]Elm Hugger[/re]: Are you kidding? She looks like the back of a bus.

Lascauxcaveman May 11, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=575044]rptrcub[/re]: Eh, what? Don’t be silly. No, ’tis all about the buggery there. Day and night, between the two. Hmph.

Jollity May 11, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Bum-nose Osborne is Chancellor of the Exchequer (the money guy) also. I think he pretty much only got the place because he’s Prime Minister Balloon-head’s friend from school, or something. But I may well be wrong – I often am. And they can get rid if he’s unforgivably shit. Thatcher went through three Chancellors.

Escape Goat Nation May 11, 2010 at 4:49 pm

So does he rule Scotland too?

user-of-owls May 11, 2010 at 4:58 pm

[re=575079]Limeylizzie[/re]: Which kind? The double-decker or one the Provos got to?

PlanetWingnuta May 11, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Now maybe Danger Mouse will come back on the Air…Danger mouse…danger mouse….DANGER MOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Snarkalicious May 11, 2010 at 5:03 pm

[re=575079]Limeylizzie[/re]: In the States she’s only a 6, sure. But, once you convert that to metric…

jimmynail May 11, 2010 at 5:04 pm

[re=575083]Jollity[/re]: At the Bullingdon Club, Osborne was known as “The Oik”, because he only attended Westminster, whereas the rest of the members (including Cameron and present Kyoto-rubbishing Mayor of the Fair City of London Boris Johnson) were mostly Old Etonians. Trust me, I met these people at Oxford and they are, without exception, just hilariously vile.

PlanetWingnuta May 11, 2010 at 5:04 pm

And maybe the Bugaloos will come back too.

chascates May 11, 2010 at 5:07 pm

Did Cameron go to Oxbridge, Hogwarts, or what? I assume other countries are run by moneyed elites who went to the ‘right’ schools.

JMP May 11, 2010 at 5:08 pm

[re=575104]Snarkalicious[/re]: She’s an eight, which is a British ten.

chascates May 11, 2010 at 5:10 pm

[re=575112]chascates[/re]: Just heard on NPR he went to Eton, then Oxford w/1st with Honours, etc. And he’s considered a commoner?

Snarkalicious May 11, 2010 at 5:14 pm

[re=575113]JMP[/re]: Which is to say, a 7 with money and a title.

yargisbargis May 11, 2010 at 5:20 pm

[re=575114]chascates[/re]: twits of the year have been cleaned out of Lords for the most part and now have to make their way in the Commons. Poor sods.

gambypants May 11, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Margaret Thatcher suffers from dementia, she isn’t dead. T’was a tabby cat named Thatcher who died last year not her!

user-of-owls May 11, 2010 at 5:25 pm

[re=575104]Snarkalicious[/re]: [re=575113]JMP[/re]: What is that in Imperial Gallons?

Limeylizzie May 11, 2010 at 5:28 pm

[re=575101]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=575113]JMP[/re]: I resent that!

WriteyWriterton May 11, 2010 at 5:36 pm

[re=575127]Snarkalicious[/re]: A 6 with money and a title, if the title is hereditary.

bitchincamaro May 11, 2010 at 5:54 pm

This calls for the implementation of our English cousin’s pronunciation of the very useful, “twat”. As in, “shat”. Now, and evermore.

mcc May 11, 2010 at 6:40 pm

So what happened to the lib dems? Did they pass up the electoral reform deal?

doloras May 11, 2010 at 6:54 pm

[re=575247]mcc[/re]: Nick Clegg is Deputy Prime Minister and four other LibDems will be in Cabinet – one of them is in charge of Scotland, and another will apparently be in charge of sorting the banks out. Cameron is probably having a great laugh thinking about those last two. (Also, cocks.) No word on electoral reform yet – the Tories’ last public offer was a referendum on adopting instant runoff voting (Australian-style).

However, since the LibDems are a democratic with a small “d” party, this deal has to be voted on by the MPs, the party national council and possibly also by a postal ballot of activists before it’s signed and sealed. A lot of the party’s Lords and activists will be very pissed off at going anywhere near the Tories, so there may be drama yet to come.

Snarkalicious May 11, 2010 at 7:14 pm

[re=575256]doloras[/re]: Eh. Their Lordships will calm down once they realize they can threaten no-confidence votes with wild abandon. Jesus. You think the Filibuster has us goat-fucked on this side of the pond…

Snarkalicious May 11, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Idle thoughts. How much does one suppose the Scottish National Party would pay Mel Gibson for an authorized copy of Braveheart billing the star as Ewan McGregor, Sr. for recruiting purposes?

Long Form Def Certificate May 11, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Hoity-toity pish-posh.

Lazy Media May 11, 2010 at 9:39 pm

[re=575139]gambypants[/re]: Wow, that was a lot of posts before the earnest, “she’s not dead yet,” explanation from someone who believes they have more wiki access than you, Layne. Your trollin’ skillz are slipping.

snideinplainsight May 11, 2010 at 10:20 pm

I never understand the whole England/Britain thing. The Britons live in Britain (I’m guessing?) but the English live there too? And the Britons don’t mind so much? And really, Britain includes also the Welsh (who live inside whales) and the Scottish (who live inside skirts). And the English include the Angles and the Saxons, the Jutes, the Norse, the Celts, the Druids, the Jigs, and the Morrissey Dancers. The Angles are the only ones we really studied in school – the obtuse Angles, the cute Angles, the right Angles, the congruent Angles. Honestly, America’s so much simpler!

Troubledog May 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm

Penis-upon-Breath

doloras May 12, 2010 at 12:04 am

[re=575339]snideinplainsight[/re]: In case you’re being serious and not just pretending to be dumb for the lulz: “Britons” = English + Scots + Welsh. “Britain” = England + Scotland + Wales. “UK” = Britain + Northern Ireland.

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2010 at 1:05 am

Apparently the conservatives in other countries, such as Mr. Cameron, actually like national healthcare as well. Cannot….wrap…brain….around…idea…

lawrenceofthedesert May 12, 2010 at 4:19 am

Why did Wonkette and CBS not show Gordon Brown and Posh Cocks doing the Fish Dance?

DoctorSchoen May 12, 2010 at 5:33 am

Dave and Nick made out and had ended up with a stillborn regime. Or maybe they had a termination (abortion to you yanks).

TGY May 12, 2010 at 9:27 am

As bright will shine Great Britain’s rays
as in Gordon Brown’s glorious days!

pub_option May 12, 2010 at 10:35 am

Thatcher is still alive, although senile. There will be problems linking her grave into the sewage system, since a large number of people have expressed an intention to piss or shit on it.

Lets Go Vertigo May 12, 2010 at 11:56 am

[re=575370]doloras[/re]: Morrissey Dancers + Cute Angles + Live Inside Whales = not being serious.

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