EL CHUPACABRA  2:04 pm May 10, 2010

A Children’s Video Treasury of John McCain’s Love For Illegal Mexican Evildoers

by Ken Layne

Oh here’s Juan McCain and his new friend (?!) the Mexican-Smashing Skinhead walking along the invisible (?) border fence that keeps Juan McCain from returning home to Teddy Roosevelt’s Panama, and it looks like today ol’ Walnuts *doesn’t* like illegal immigration — which is something, really, coming from Teddy Kennedy’s best friend. John McCain invented shamnesty, and just a couple of years ago you COULD NOT SHUT HIM UP about how he was going to “solve” the Mexican Menace by tearing up the Constitution (which doesn’t even *mention* Mexicans) and saying, “Open Borders, Amigos!”

This is more like it: Real American Wingnuts booing and hissing at Internationalist McCain welcoming his Mexican Brothers to America, *legally*, as long as they contribute to his re-election fund.

Here’s McCain telling the ghost of Tim Russert that of course President Juan McCain will sign the Ted Kennedy Shamnesty Bill.

And here’s the goddamned traitor telling Real Americans that they can’t pick lettuce like a Mexican in Yuma, and then taunting these True Patriots by telling them he will pay FIFTY DOLLARS AN HOUR to each lazy fat ignorant white slob who will actually pick lettuce in Yuma all summer. Why does John McCain hate white people so much? Because John McCain is a Mexican from Socialist Mexico, why do you think?

And here’s known black person/Kenyan illegal immigrant Barack Hussein Obama proudly declaring to Democrats that he stands side-by-side with John McCain and Ted Kennedy on “comprehensive immigration reform,” because his radical Islamic version of America is “a nation of immigrants.” Oh really, Barack and McCain?

El Chupacabra.And here, from John McCain’s official statement on Immigration, in which he says that while it’s impossible to know which Mexicans are here to work and which Mexicans are here to continue their terrorists attacks on America such as 9/11, only John McCain has the “presidential leadership” to pass comprehensive shamnesty by allowing all Terrorists currently in the nation to become citizens, as long as they contribute to John McCain’s re-election campaign. These are his actual words:

“So I defend, with no reservation, our proposal to offer the people who harvest our crops, tend our gardens, work in our restaurants, care for our children and clean our homes the chance to be legal citizens of this country.” [YouTube]

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One Yield Regular May 10, 2010 at 2:09 pm

“One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, we accept him, we accept him!”

BlueStateLiberal May 10, 2010 at 2:10 pm

“I’m John McCain and my position on the issues is as ever-shifting as the sands in the Sahara.” Also: You know he just wanted to use a certain other word than “danged.” In the first screen shot, he’s winking at me, in the last one, he’s sticking out his tongue.

Saint Ronald the Divine May 10, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Shameless pandering

Buzz Feedback May 10, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Build the fence. Make sure you’re on the Messican side when it’s finished.

Troubledog May 10, 2010 at 2:14 pm

So if you were (in actual fact) an Arizona conservative, you have to choose between

The worst naval aviator in history who said he was certain that Sarah Palin was qualified to hold the presidency, that doesn’t consider himself a maverick anymore and sure, let’s build that mofuggin fence right now cause I have always hated Mexicans, in my heart.

And J.D. Hayworth, who is a raging assclown — but at least he’s consistent?

Dark days indeed.

bfstevie May 10, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Gee, Mr. Layne, by the time I got through that four hour post [re=573827]One Yield Regular[/re] beat me out with the excellent Tod Browning reference.

Saint Ronald the Divine May 10, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Shameless pandering…How will JT get to the right of this one?

Troubledog May 10, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Also btw — nice report. Well done.

bfstevie May 10, 2010 at 2:15 pm

[re=573827]One Yield Regular[/re]: We salute you (and accept you).

freakishlystrong May 10, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Man, that last picture never gets old. In the context of this story though, it appears as though the frijoles got the last laugh.

V572625694 May 10, 2010 at 2:16 pm

It’s kinda fun, in a John Cage way, to get all four of the clips playing at once.

Aflac Shrugged May 10, 2010 at 2:18 pm

“What, like I wasn’t a gigantic hypocritical asshole the last time you elected me?”

I’m John McCain and I approved this message.

magic titty May 10, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I can’t see the video at work. Did he really say/write the text Newell quoted?

Extemporanus May 10, 2010 at 2:24 pm

The illegals don’t call him “El Coyote Boca” for nothin’ — WALNUTS! smuggled two of his new garderners, three maids, and a fourteen year-old “nanny” name “Manny” across the border in his cheeks during the filming of this very ad.

At the 0:12 mark, you can just barely make out one of them waving at the camera.

Scarab May 10, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Why is he always wearing a Navy cap in a landlocked state like Arizona? Does EVERY Republican need a totem (football, retarded child, leathery wife) to parade around? It’s been decades, let it go John.

Dave J. May 10, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I’d LOVE to see one of those Teabaggers try to go pick lettuce in Yuma for an entire season, as Walnuts!! suggests. That would be high comedy. What’s the over/under on number of hours until some phantom injury forced them to head home? Four? Five?

JMP May 10, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Some people might call John McCain a pandering hypocrite, but I wouldn’t. Remember, after losing the 2000 nomination, angry at being beaten by Bush, he veered from center-right to the middle for a time; now, angry at being beaten by Obama, he’s veering to the far right.

This is not pandering, but simple honest angry, petty spite.

V572625694 May 10, 2010 at 2:48 pm

[re=573866]JMP[/re]: Best thing in 2000 was when he answered from his heart that the confederate flag was a symbol of racism, then had to tap-dance all around it. Rove still had to conjure up a black baby to beat him in SC.

rambone May 10, 2010 at 2:50 pm

As long as he doesn’t offer amnesty to any educated Mexicans, I guess that’s OK.

SayItWithWookies May 10, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Some people’s views are left-leaning, some are right-leaning. John McCain’s are panoramic.

Come here a minute May 10, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Alternate title: “Show us your dadgum papers.”

mustardman May 10, 2010 at 3:04 pm

You got it wrong Arizona. The fence is supposed to be along your northern border!

slappypaddy May 10, 2010 at 3:06 pm

a pathetic, old shell of what once could have been a great man.

Manos: Hands of Fate May 10, 2010 at 3:06 pm

Good news for McCain. At least one 1/4 of all kids are children of immigrants. So in about 20 years you can make your political comeback.

Lascauxcaveman May 10, 2010 at 3:18 pm

[re=573924]slappypaddy[/re]: Yeah, I voted for the ol’ shell in the 2000 primary, when he looked like a better choice than Bush. Doesn’t impress me as being any better now, and that’s a pretty dang low fence to have to jump over.

germansteel May 10, 2010 at 3:18 pm

I hate to credit the teabaggers for anything, but I’m beginning to get their point about McCain.

Ken Layne May 10, 2010 at 3:31 pm

[re=573847]magic titty[/re]: But you can see the byline, I bet.

mumblyjoe May 10, 2010 at 3:46 pm

You know, K-Lo has a point: I mean, men are 48.5 % of the population, but will only make up a paltry 66% of the Supreme Court, 82.8% of the House of Representatives, 83% of the Senate, and 100% of the Presidency. WHEN WILL MALE AMERICA GET ITS FAIR SHARE

Aurelio May 10, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Kudos, Ken. You nailed him. He is so busted.

magic titty May 10, 2010 at 3:48 pm

[re=573964]Ken Layne[/re]: Ha. Kenneth! My apologies. This post just smelled like a ‘Newell’. Forgive me.

mumblyjoe May 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm

[re=573987]mumblyjoe[/re]: wow, wrong post there by a lot.

Historysnuff May 10, 2010 at 3:52 pm

Mr. Gorbachev, build up this wall.

proudgrampa May 10, 2010 at 3:54 pm

“The government wants to build a barrier,
Like ol’ Berlin 8 feet tall.
But if Uncle Sam sends the illegals home,
Who’s gonna build the wall?

“Who’s gonna build your wall, boys?
Who’s gonna mow your lawn?
Who’s gonna fix your Mexican food,
When the Mexican maid is gone?

“Who’s gonna wax the floor tonight,
Down at the local mall?
Who’s gonna wash your baby’s face,
Who’s gonna build your wall?”

– Tom Russell

George Oscar Bluth May 10, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Not enough wandering around mansions or dramatic pauses for my taste. However, building a big, dumb, expensive wall instead of finding an actual solution to the problem makes sense to me. Does it to you?

richardwb1 May 10, 2010 at 4:06 pm

[re=573942]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: “a pathetic, old shell of what once could have been a great man.”
From the womb, he could have been a great man, but born into wealth and privilege, he became at a relatively young age a bloody war criminal in Viet Nam.

Aurelio May 10, 2010 at 4:15 pm

[re=574015]George Oscar Bluth[/re]: Here’s one possible solution. The trouble is that it makes too much sense.

JMP May 10, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=573996]Historysnuff[/re]: I once pointed this out to some conservative friends of mine who supported the wall, and they actually argued it was different because it was meant to keep people out, which is apparently OK, only walls to keep people in are bad. Besides pointing out the sheer impracticality of building a 2,000-mile long wall (and that it didn’t work for the Chinese), I took my response to the jukebox:

And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in
If God was here, he’d tell you to your face, man you’re some kinda sinner

Bearbloke May 10, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Isn’t the first video clip an outtake from the acclaimed documentary American History X?

Scaggsville guy May 10, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Worst acting ever. You really get the sense that he’s going senile. Can’t even read 15 or 20 words and sound halfway convincing.

Actually what he sounds like is confused, like he doesn’t understand the meaning of the script he’s reading, and he’s wondering how long it will be before he forgets how to read the words aloud at all.

wavingnotdrowning May 10, 2010 at 4:29 pm

This all reminds me of why I used to like Obama, because he handed McPffff his ass.

WriteyWriterton May 10, 2010 at 4:40 pm

[re=573918]mustardman[/re]: Northern, western, and eastern borders. Can’t be too careful. And keep all the lights on all the time at the border; that’ll scatter them Arizonininians, like it does cockroaches in a New York City walk-up.

Joey Ratz May 10, 2010 at 5:33 pm

[re=573901]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Now that was beautiful. “I am large, I contain multitudes.”

[re=573924]slappypaddy[/re]: Maybe. To paraphrase noted wit Charles de Gaulle, I guess WALNUTS! will always have great potential.

Scruffy, The Janitor May 10, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Also, 50% of illegal immigrants enter Arizona to murder John McCain and then smuggle in better senators.

Dashboard_Buddha May 10, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Jesus Christ…I haven’t see such wooden acting since the Oswald Prison Transfer.

AddHomonym May 10, 2010 at 10:48 pm

[re=574033]Aurelio[/re]: I counter with poetry, from the Flatlanders:

A wall is a mirror that can only reveal
One side of a story that passes for real
But break it all down, it all becomes clear
It’s the fearless who love and the loveless who fear

So, keep fuckin that chicken, is what I’m sayin.

growinghabits May 11, 2010 at 4:11 am


Dashboard_Buddha May 11, 2010 at 8:57 am

[re=574341]growinghabits[/re]: It will work this time for sure!

Dashboard_Buddha May 11, 2010 at 9:38 am

This is just a short comment.

Dashboard_Buddha May 11, 2010 at 11:10 am

[re=573862]Dave J.[/re]: Phantom injury hell. They would keel over from a heart attack…that is, of course, if they could get the Rascal down the rows.

Can O Whoopass May 11, 2010 at 1:53 pm

I thought Reagan did and was buried with his Hollywood ass up in the air.

JRinDallas May 13, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Can someone please make the ‘Dang Quesadilla’ Grandma from Napoleon Dynamite mashup with ‘Dang Fence’ Grandpa from the US Senate?

Can we just get that over with?


wallythepug May 17, 2010 at 7:50 am

Rachel Maddow did a segment on the “danged fence” ad last week, and happened to mention that the very white sherrif was not from the county where the fence would be built. THAT sherrif is named Miguel Estrada and is against the fence….tee hee

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