FREEDOM VOTES!Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins must be looking forward to their next primary seasons with such enthusiasm! “An overwhelming majority of delegates to the Maine Republican convention tonight voted to scrap the the proposed party platform and replace it with a document created by a group of Tea Party activists.” This document is called The Bible. No, it is called something else, but it is basically a copy-paste of The Bible: “The official platform for the Republican Party of Maine is now a mix of right-wing fringe policies, libertarian buzzwords and outright conspiracy theories.”

The document calls for the elimination of the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve, demands an investigation of “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth,” suggests the adoption of “Austrian Economics,” declares that “‘Freedom of Religion’ does not mean ‘freedom from religion'” (which I guess makes atheism illegal), insists that “healthcare is not a right,” calls for the abrogation of the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and declares that we must resist “efforts to create a one world government.”

It also contains favorable mentions of both the Tea Party and Ron Paul.

Click here for the FREEDOM PDF!

This is only going to give New Hampshire ideas.

[Maine Politics via Jon Chait]

Donate with CCDonate with CC


  1. Wackjob Pablum does not sound appetizing at all. Descriptive though. Somebody on the Maine site thinks some of this makes sense. The problem is, you have to buy it all. Totalitarianism is a package deal.

  2. It also calls for declaring the moose the “national mammal” and the outright refutation of the existence of the “Eurasian Elk” (quotes in the original).

  3. On the other hand, the Maine commenter who said the Tea Party is like the chickens voting for Colonel Sanders makes good sense.

  4. I read their platform and then I promptly threw up in my mouth…who are these people. Look I have a two-state solution for the ‘baggers’ let them have Wyoming, The Dokota’s, Utah, Montana, Idaho, Nebraska, and Kansas. Then the rest of us can enjoy, our health care, paved roads, and emergency responders, happily paid for with our tax dollars!!!

  5. Hey teabaggers, you could just keep your brood home and school them all right there at the fabled “kitchen table.” You’re not working at a job anymore, due to the free markets and out-sourcing, so might as well go out and buy chalk and a chalkboard. Glenn Beck can get you a patriot’s discount over at “OneRoomSchoolHouse” dot com.

  6. [re=573778]WhenTheMessiahComes…[/re]: [re=573778]WhenTheMessiahComes…[/re]: Wyoming is so pretty though, can’t we give them Ohio or Indiana?

  7. Freedom from religion is a GOP lie! The constitution clearly states that this is a Christian nation and that Jews, muslins, buddhas, anamationists, pope/virgin Mary worshippers, and vegetarians can go back to Russia!

  8. Sadly, the left in Maine, at least as represented by the Phish-heads, isn’t much saner.


  9. The sad thing is, these people will probably decide the next two elections.
    Unless Obama somehow manages to walk on water and get everyone in the USA a good paying job where they don’t have to do any work.
    And kill all the terrists.
    For the rest of this decade, we’ll look back at the Bush II years as Americas last golden age, and blame Obama for everything that is or ever was wrong in the world.
    Now where did I put that razor blade….?

  10. I whole-heartedly support these lunatics in their attempts to keep their state Kenyan and Amero free. Viva La ‘Tards…

  11. It’s still better than the Democratic Party of Maine’s platform, which reads in its entirety:

    “The main thing’s to keep the Maine thing the main thing.”

  12. Now that total idiots are using the internets, I think the time has come to advance my “dot-tard” domain proposal.

  13. [re=573781]FlownOver[/re]: They have realized that this whole Democracy thing is a lie made up by Demoncraps. The movement is calling for restoration of the Hapsburg monarchy with Ron Paul as King Ron the First.

  14. I like the item in their platform urging the Federal government to investigate the Rothschild family’s plot to use the island of St. Helena to house the gravity ray they’re developing to threaten any nation that opposes the rise of the Illuminati with being cast into permanent darkness via an artificial lunar eclipse.

  15. I like the “collusion of government and industry in the global warming “myth””; yes, industry’s just been bending over backwards to acknowledge the reality of global warming and attempt to reduce their emissions.

    Although the craziest part is probably the screed against the UN treaty on the rights of the child; that comes basically from the fundies’ belief that people should be allowed, and in fact encouraged, to beat their children, together with the neocon and Paultard general hatred of the UN.

  16. [re=573781]FlownOver[/re]: No, no, no. They just want to do for Maine what The Last Action Governor (Governator, you say? Fuck you. That was a good movie.) has done with the economy of California.

  17. From Wikipedia: “Austrian School economists advocate the strict enforcement of voluntary contractual agreements between economic agents”

    The folks in Maine must be big fans of the “pay your doctor with chickens!1!!1!!” lady in Nevada.

  18. So, Somalia then? They have VERY limited Gubmint in Somalia. And then the teatards could see what uppity nigras can really get up to.

  19. Article I, section h calls for the Maine Republicans to reject “LOST.” I think the more nuanced approach would be to wait to see whether Hurley and Desmond live, but that’s what makes me a liberal.

  20. [re=573808]freakishlystrong[/re]: Somalia then. Yes. That’s the model for limited gubbermint and unlimited 2nd amendment rights. I have a 92 Toyota pickup that has spent a lot of time in Maine (hence the rust) and I’m planning on mounting a .50 caliber machine gun on it to complete the Somali look.

  21. Reject “LOST” the Law Of The Sea Treaty.

    Jesus, teabaggers. I know this last season hasn’t answered any questions but I still think we can watch it for the sake of completion.

  22. I call bullshit on this story. The hard, multi-syllabic words like “collusion” and “government” are all correctly spelled. This is clearly work of librul agents provocateur, just like the ones shouting racial epithets at that black congressman back in the healthcare debate.

  23. If they actually do get a thorough investigation of industrial and political collusion in the global warming myth and prosecute the same, they are going to put a lot of oil industry executives and think tank members in prison for colluding to perpetuate myths that deny global warming. Is that really what they want? If they were smart they would fight against any honest investigation.

    Also, since it needs to be said…

    You know who else suggested the Austrian model???

  24. They want “strict adherence” to their right to keep and bear arms. If I’m readin’ that amendment thing right, it means they either have no right to arms, or they get bazookas and tanks. Maybe we should have a court look into….. oh, right.

  25. Discard political correctness, make public the declaration of war (Jihad), made against the US on 23 Feb 1998, and fight the war against the United States by radical Islam to win.

    Ouch, my eyes hurt just trying to figure out what that sentence is supposed to mean.

  26. [re=573806]Dave J.[/re]: That presents a real quandry here in Nevaduh. In one ear I have some guy telling me to keep fucking that chicken, but in the other ear I have Sue Lowden telling me to pay my doctor with it. I’d like to do both, but in this world of absolutes, no can do.

  27. [re=573823]Serolf Divad[/re]: make public the declaration of war (Jihad), made against the US on 23 Feb 1998, and fight the war against the United States by radical Islam to win.

    The first step of which will be the quite reasonable decision to nuke Mecca.

  28. What about Austro-Hungarian Economics? We get a King-Emperor to be in charge of the Federal Reserve. And, for a slogan: “Moar Blimps!!!”

  29. to ensure domestic tranquility, they’re gonna keep those gays from marrying and keep those heteros from aborting. I don’t even know where to start on that one. Especially since earlier there was a serious shout-out to the second amendment. Armed straight married people never threaten domestic tranquility, right?

  30. [re=573809]bfstevie[/re]: It’s doubly ironic. They quote Jefferson after decrying freedom from religion, which was his idea; and they quote him decrying ignorance to support their proposal to eliminate the Dept. of Education, which would increase it. They also claim the Constitution requires the states control education which, let me see, nope it’s completely silent on that.

    They also claim the teabaggers are reminiscent of the start of the Republican party, which is just completely the opposite of the truth. The original Republicans opposed slavery and “states’ rights”, while the teabaggers are against having a black president and want to restore de facto segregation.

  31. Austrian economics sounds about right for this crowd since it lets you make up your own facts to make your argument.
    I’d like to have similar Austrian traffic laws. No officer, the speed limit is 110 on this road because that’s how fast my car can go.

  32. Oh, come on. This is the Republican Party we’re talking about!

    These people practically invented the poll tax. I’m sure they’ll find a clever way to eliminate all that democracy from affecting them, when it’s meant only to derail the other guy… the one who, uh, likes democracy and the little guy.

  33. [re=573808]freakishlystrong[/re]: (notso) FUN FACT: Somalia’s the only country other than the US not to have signed that children’s treaty thing. And Somalia’s excuse is that it doesn’t have a government.

    America: clearly the the guiding moral light for the rest of the world.

  34. [re=573863]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Do you really think anybody at the convention even knows what the hell Austrian economics are? I’m gueesing they heard Mark Levin praise it once on the air. I’ll bet half of them thinks it comes from Texas.

  35. “fight the war against the United States by radical Islam to win.”

    Is there any way to read this than that they want to fight against the United States so that radical Islam will win?

  36. I live in Maine and as it regards teabaggin’ I feel I must quote the Beach Boys – (this shit is) “spreadin’ round like an awful disease.”

  37. [re=573888]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Sigh. Much of it actually comes from Yankee exiles who have relocated to Alabama. My little town is home of the Von Mises Institute, and the local paper often hosts guest columns by one of the institute’s “scholars.” Even by Alabama standards, they are seriously weird.

  38. OK. Finally something I have a little knowledge about. I was born and raised in the Pine Tree State (Go, Fighting Trees!) and I could see this coming a few years back. I don’t know if you guys know this, but Maine is pretty darn Caucasian. But about a decade ago, the Somalians (yes, actual Somalians!) began emigrating to Maine.

    Man, did that unnerve people (my Dad for one). These were non-white people who wore bizarre clothing and didn’t go to Baked Bean suppers. Immigrants moved from a lawless shithole to the Greater Portland area and a thousand teabaggers were born. They don’t say Maine is a little bit of the South up North for nothing.

    Then you have Northern Maine who only know about non-white people from Sanford and Son reruns and when they can get good reception of Glenn Beck’s radio show.

  39. [re=573777]V572625694[/re]: Oh no kidding, is that the thing that Bobby Kennedy( or Joe Kennedy?) the one who sounds like Kate Hepburn, has? They should sing a duet- “You’re Just in Love” would be a laff fest with those two.

  40. [re=573908]UnattendedConsequence[/re]: The good news for these folks is that if they keep this up noone will WANT to come to the US any more.

  41. Best line: “Eliminate the Department of Education and restore schools to local control as specified in the constitution.”

    Obviously these America-hating Maine teabaggers never read the Constitution.

  42. [re=573850]qwerty42[/re]: “We get a King-Emperor to be in charge of the Federal Reserve.” ….I’m sorry, I guess I don’t keep up with the gubmint as well as I should…is that different from what we have now…?

  43. Time for those blue helicopters to start landing in Maine, with a BIG supply of Meds or medical marijuana for those poor afflicted people.

  44. Can you still have surreal, hallucinogenic, alternate universe flashbacks if the last time you dropped acid was thirty years ago?

  45. [re=573850]qwerty42[/re]: Austrian economics is Austro-Hungarian economics. It got its name since its original proponents were all born in Austria-Hungary.

    We’re refighting the battles of the ’60’s again – only this, time, it’s the 1860’s.

  46. “Seal the border and protect US citizens along the border and everywhere, as is the prime directive of the Federal Government.”

    This is making Canadians giggle. Maybe we should invade Maine again. This time, we won’t give it back.

  47. [re=574003]imissopus[/re]: I do believe it is time to revisit the Missouri Compromise, and maybe this time we can offload BOTH Maine and Missouri. I would recommend giving one of ’em to Afghanistan as reparation, but I think that might be considered a war crime (against the Afghanis, that is).

  48. ” 1. The Constitutions, both State and Federal, are the framework to which any and all legislation must adhere.”

    These people are brilliant legal scholars. I thought we could just make shit up.

  49. It reads like it was transcribed from a Glenn Beck pay-per-view event by illiterate rednecks with crayons. As it probably was.

  50. I think it was Ronald Reagan who said of the GOP “The problem is our right hand dooesn’t know what our far-right hand is doing”. It’s like watching lemmings in action.

  51. I want to laugh, but I keep tearing up because these people are scaring me. Every now and then I meet someone here (DE) who appears to be normal and then they start spouting this stuff. Yikes.

  52. [re=573806]Dave J.[/re]: From Wikipedia: “Austrian School economists advocate the strict enforcement of voluntary contractual agreements between economic agents.

    I honestly thought you made that up. How is it possible to strictly enforce voluntary agreements?

  53. I’ve seen nothing on the left as insane as this uber-reich-wing Tea Party BS. As if tree-huggin’ hippies screaming about flouride in water really compares to the neo-fascists on the right? Now they’re saying that center-right pro-corporate Goldman Sachs lawyer & now Supreme Court appointee Elena Kagan is an ultra-left activist liberal. How friggin’ insane is that?

  54. This country is swirling the toilet bowl faster and faster. It’s just a matter of time until we all take a big whiff of what the teabaggers had for lunch. Hope you all came hungry because I’m holding off as long as I can before jumping ship for a decidedly more “Canadian” locale.

  55. Austrian economics is like a pro-sports game with out the rules, Ref’s, or Ump’s. The players are all adults with an intimate knowledge of their game. No coercive outsiders needed to tell them how to play fairly.

    Just like the stock market plays itself out.

  56. [re=573768]slappypaddy[/re]: Their main form of education was being fed Coco Puffs for four hours, then going outside to run and run and run, and whoever hit the most trees got an A. (Credit for joke goes to Lewis Black)

  57. Weird, I’m from Maine, and everyone I know is quite reasonable. I always suspected the toothless women running the gas stations and the mulleted meth heads hanging out near the tressle were wingnuts, but how did they become delegates to the Repub convention. Shit. My guess is A LOT of Republicans in Maine are asking themselves WTF just happened.

  58. The Republicans are really screwing themselves by letting the crazies take over their party. What a sweet slow motion train wreck.

  59. Thanks you, Madam Wonkette. I rise today (okay, I’m sitting at the migraine-o-tron) in defense of the great State of Maine. Contrary to popular opinion, we all didn’t just fall of the haywagon up here. Some has been around the block, from Skowhegan to East Sangerville, and don’t take no stock in these Tea-Bagger perverts (why the hell would they do stuff like that, anyway?). Seems like they got no sense. Now they’re talking about doin’ away with the Department of Ejoocashun. Why, where would people be, where the hell would I be, without learnin’ and such. And they think global warming is a fraud, when here we are, livin’ in a state where a body cain’t count on ridin’ a snow-sled more’n two and half outen the year no more. It’s a dumb shame.

  60. [re=574178]carlgt1[/re]: You’re slandering the hippies here; the fluoridation in the water conspiracy theory bullshit comes from the John Birch society, which is on the far right.

  61. Hell, we think of people from Massachusetts and Canada as foreign up this way. Why would we want anything to do with Austria? They don’t even have Ameros.

    Olympia Snowe is up for re-election in 2012. This should be fun.

  62. …and furthermore demands that Teddy and Franklin Roosevelt’s bones be disinterred and desecrated by giving them profiles.

  63. [re=573867]Geogre[/re]: Y=To be fair, the poll tax was a southern Democrat invention after reconstruction. (Post-Reconstruction Southern Democrat being a fancy term for crazed bigot.) Actually, until the 1930’s the only political party that made even symbolic attempts to court black voters were the Republicans.

  64. [re=574258]JMP[/re]: As a certifiable lefty, let me chime in with flouridation is stupid. It is a highly reactive halogen. And it only does anything when it comes in contact with the surface of your teeth. Rinsing your mouth with it is effective. Drinking it makes no sense . . . it is poisonous.

    Timely enough, Eyjafjallajökull, in fact, has rather a lot of flouride in its ash. Previous eruption, this killed all the livestock in the ashfall areas by rotting their bones out.

  65. [re=574220]petey[/re]: Yeah because no way that private interests are better incentivized to provide some things and government better incentivized to provide others. Not a chance.

    Cute phrases == policy is the reason the country is totally fucked up.

  66. Years ago, my elderly father who is a transplanted New Englander explained his region of origin to me:

    Maine: Deliverance with lobsters

    New Hampshire: Goddamn ridge runners who don’t want to pay taxes but come across the border to states who do and use the systems there

    Vermont: Rich hippies, skiers, and a few old red necks tapping trees

    Rhode Island: Run by the Italian and Irish mobs, lots of swamp Yankees (in other words, red necks)

    Connecticut: Suburb of NYC

    Boston: Pain in the ass loud people

    Amherst and neighboring towns in the Connecticut River Valley: Out of touch hippies, who due to a lack of energy from their vegan diets and a pathological need to build consensus, never actually do anything but sit around and talk and feel self-satisfied.

    Eastern half of Massachusetts (other than Boston): Suburb of Boston

    Western half of Massachusetts (other than Amherst): Out of work immigrants, out of work children and grandchildren of immigrants, bunch of red necks, plus Milton Bradley and the Basketball Hall of Fame.

  67. The whole thing is a hoax. The giveaway is at the bottom of the last page:

    “Restore a vigorous grounding in the history and precepts of liberty, freedom, and the constitution to the educational process. As Thomas Jefferson said, “If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.””

    Thomas Jefferson doesn’t exist.

  68. [re=573790]RobPetrified[/re]: I don’t think so. According to Wonkette the most recent poll showed TBaggers are about 2% of the voting population. I see these nutz as splitting what remains of the GOP and letting the Democrats waltz right back in.

  69. This is just flat out amazing! Where to begin? GAAP Accounting for the Federal and state governments (By the way, anyone else notice the state of Maine always comes before the Feds)? The current problem with our economy is that we’re not taking enough depreciation as a nation?

    Just how is that going to work? I don’t think Statutory Accounting would work, either.

    “II. To Establish Justice:
    “a. Restore “Constitutional law” as the basis for the Judiciary.” That one is going to be a little tricky because that whole thing about the US Supreme Court ruling on laws passed by Congress being Constitutional really isn’t in the Constitution (thank you John Marshall, Chief Justice with, I believe, no previous judicial experience).

    Finally, the suggestion that Congress act to create term limits is not only a dumb idea (let’s go out of our way to have amateurs running things here), it would require a change in our Constitution. I thought we already had term limits? We call ’em elections. [Remember when George Bush talked about term limits during a debate and Al Gore said “We’re fixin’ to limit some terms…”]

  70. It’s like they aren’t even trying to conceal the wingnuts anymore, they’re ruling the roost now. Seriously, no “one world government”? I was reading this platform, noticing all the idiocy and masochism at work (austrian economics, boo! diversity, boo! poor people, boo! education, on and on) and thinking this must be a hoax…then I remembered with horror, THIS is the modern GOP. This is the party that allows a few hundred teabaggers to take it over with nary a fight. Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, kiss your raggedy asses goodbye; yer a cuppa compri-misers, er at least not down with stopping one world gubmint like the other Maine GOPers are. Seriously, if these douchebags believe so much in constitutional originalism, they need to inform non-landowners they can’t vote, black people shall be remanded to bondage, women: git yer asses into the kitchen, chineses are railroad slaves, and so forth.

    While you’re embracing the originalist nutbutter teabaggers, you’d better also be reminded: no national defense. The entire military industrial complex needs to go and militias will defend each states borders, like the good old days of 1776. The government cannot regulate interstate commerce anymore, so if a larger state population-wise than Maine comes along (of course wingnuts strategically inhabit states with tiny rural populations) they can take whatever they want by forcing your poor asses to sign whatever trade agreement they shove in front of you, and you’ll sign it out of basic need; now you’ll understand how the 3rd world feels dealing with us. And since you’ve decided to boo fedealism and have decided we’re instead a CONFEDERACY of 50 sovereign states (haha, teabaggers) with a weak central meeting house, don’t expect any of us to come to your aide when ignorance, religious coersion and terrible economic policies wrecks your entire city-state.

    The last great remnant of the confederacy still needing to be unveiled: open white supremacy. Come on teabaggers, dive right in…you’re about 90% there already. I hope Democrats strategically post this platform everywhere, they’ve eaten all the sane ones left and now we must show how batshit these Randian retreads really are. Oh and a bag of poxy dicks upon them all! Also.

  71. Austrian Economics via Wikipedia (apparently they do a lot of reading during Maine winters…..)
    “The Austrian School is a heterodox school of economic thought that emphasizes the spontaneous organizing power of the price mechanism. Its name derives from the identity of its founders and early supporters, who were citizens of the old Austrian Habsburg Empire, including Carl Menger, Eugen von Böhm-Bawerk and Ludwig von Mises.[1] Currently, adherents of the Austrian School can come from any part of the world, but they are often referred to simply as Austrian economists…

    …Followers of the Austrian School are now most frequently associated with libertarian political perspectives that emanate from such bodies as the Ludwig von Mises Institute.”

  72. [re=574178]carlgt1[/re]: Oh, there is serious insanity on the left, but it’s infinitesimal. Look up the Maoist International Movement and read their film reviews; I think they’re archived somewhere.

  73. [re=577271]Looy[/re]: In the context one should consider Austrian economics “heterodox” in the same way that Creationism and homeopathy are “heterodox”. None of them have any evidence to support their claims, but they have plenty of rationalizations for the lack of evidence. Their supporters are ignorant and sound insane when they talk about their quackery.

Comments are closed.

Previous articleGross Ohio Democrats Go Topless, Because Rob Portman Is Bad
Next articleA Children’s Video Treasury of John McCain’s Love For Illegal Mexican Evildoers