needs moar man-tits

Gross Ohio Democrats Go Topless, Because Rob Portman Is Bad

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Hey, people taking off their shirts …. old people, chunky people … to make, uh, a typically dumb/strained Democrat political point, that actually makes no real sense, and is just gross. Go to a website and the Democratic Party will send, uh, a shirt to Rob Portman, because he’s some Bush slimeball who is to blame for the Global Financial Collapse, we guess?

And if you have no job, in Ohio, what you really want is for the fucking Democratic Party to spend money on fucking T-shirts to send to Rob Portman’s campaign office, where they’ll sit in boxes until somebody takes them to the Goodwill with all the other shirts donated by broken-up bands and failed campaigns. And then, poor people of Ohio, maybe then you can have a $4 t-shirt again. Jesus fucking christ. [YouTube]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • the problem child


  • edgydrifter

    If the shirt-stealing Portman was Natalie instead of Rob, I think Ohio Democrats might be more receptive.

  • ioksotot23

    needs more (moar?) blue collar “broads”, actually topless, to get a groundswell….

  • ioksotot23

    beyond the idiot gimmicky not-dealing-with -the real-problem head-in-the-sand bullshit

  • norbizness

    Won’t be watching that, but can the guy in the freeze-frame play medical crustacean Dr. Zoidberg in a live-action Futrama?

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m outraged and saddened to hear that there are only four people left in Ohio. Why aren’t more ugly people being shipped there?

  • slappypaddy

    the man-boobs hurt the eyes. and how come rob portman didn’t take the shirts off the backs of any of the women? equal rights, i want to see me some woman-boobs if i’m going to have to see the man-boobs.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Its going to be said anyway, sooner or later, so here I’ll go:

    Tits or GTFO.

    (Man boobs do NOT count as tits.)

  • nappyduggs

    G.D. that Murphy and his law, which invariably dictates that these gross-ass posts come along so very near the luncheon hour.

  • Extemporanus

    Wasn’t the 40th anniversary of the “Kent State Moobings” last week?

  • Bruno

    I’ll bet if you walk around poor villages in Mexico there are lots of donated t-shirts that say something about Walnuts and Snowbilling willing in ’08

  • the problem child

    [re=573726]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: They do when they’re bigger than woman boobs.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    I sat through that whole video waiting to at least see some bra action, but nothing. Just fat white dudes. How obscene.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    C’mon, perky young Ohio (female) twenty-somethings. Surely you, too, have a message for Rob Portman!

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Must be jelly ‘cuz jam don’t shake like that.

  • Tommmcatt


  • freakishlystrong

    What’s that noise? Oh, something’s circling the drain.

  • deutsch

    I wouldn’t say this ad is a complete waste of time, since it makes me feel better about both my body and the quality of my underthings.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=573741]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Hey baby, do fries come with that ad?

  • ohiolobbyist

    Ugh. I really need to get out of this place.

  • bago

    At a time like this, we need the respected commentary of “Hooray for Boobies”.

  • ella

    If there’s an American remake of The Full Monty, the cast is in place.

  • turdsandwich

    Wonkette, don’t succumb to the urge to use “Democrat” where you should use “Democratic”…or else the terrorists win.

    Also, “succumb.” hahaha.

  • DC Hates Me

    Rob Portman wears shirts, unlike most Ohioans. Ohio masturbates with Lee Fisher.

  • Our Hobo Senator

    It’s a response to a Republican web ad (now pulled from the internetz due to copyright issues) which used an image of Democratic candidate Lee Fisher shirtless to imply that he was masturbating while jobs left the state. So it’s not entirely without context. Also.

  • the cold war makes me hot

    [re=573849]Our Hobo Senator[/re]: get a haircut, Senator Hippy.

  • Mr Blifil

    Needs moar waist length white beards and behind the beat guitar skillz.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=573736]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah really. Apparently Cleveland no longer rocks.

  • PortlandSmartAss

    I think it’s a great punch-back ad. If it was sexual at all, it would be too like the GoP ad. As it is, it makes a clever policy point, and also says “there shouldn’t be anything sexual about this race.”

    AND, it plows the field for unofficial youtube videos of people who are more, uh, trim, to do the same things.

  • Ken Layne

    [re=573764]ohiolobbyist[/re]: Sorry.

    [re=573801]turdsandwich[/re]: We don’t really do the “libtard terminology police” thing here, as who gives a shit?

    [re=573849]Our Hobo Senator[/re]: All the context in the world can’t help this thing.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=573726]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I agree. I’m thinking casabas.

  • maven

    I was hoping they’d get Natalie Portman to take off her shirt. Wrong Portman, I guess.

  • chaste everywhere

    With thanks to They Might Be Giants:

    No is no
    No plus no equals no
    All no’s lead to no no no
    Pardon me–no–excuse me–no–
    Red means stop do not go
    No no no

  • Tim Was Tim

    I’m old enough to remember when an Atlanta Braves logo tattoo was enough to keep you out of a topless commercial in Ohio.

  • XOhioan

    Oh good lord, earlier Ohio Republicans ran an ad portraying Democratic senatorial candidate Lee Fisher shirtless, looking like he was masturbating:

    It’s apparently not Photoshopped. It begs the question: why would a 60-ish senatorial candidate allow himself to be photographed this way?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=573764]ohiolobbyist[/re]: Do all hoboes in Ohio go about shirtless whilst offering toothless blowjobs in the alleys and backstreets? Can’t be good for business, that!

    [re=574201]XOhioan[/re]: fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap… eh?! Say what now?… Nevermind… fapfapfapfap…

  • libwakman

    Hahaha..and these fat fuckers have the obese nerve to say they cannot afford shirts while crowding the Wendy’s drive thru 86 times a day.

  • migueldiazzie

    This is really a unique way to protest.
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