NEEDS MOAR MAN-TITS  1:00 pm May 10, 2010

Gross Ohio Democrats Go Topless, Because Rob Portman Is Bad

by Ken Layne

Hey, people taking off their shirts …. old people, chunky people … to make, uh, a typically dumb/strained Democrat political point, that actually makes no real sense, and is just gross. Go to a website and the Democratic Party will send, uh, a shirt to Rob Portman, because he’s some Bush slimeball who is to blame for the Global Financial Collapse, we guess?

And if you have no job, in Ohio, what you really want is for the fucking Democratic Party to spend money on fucking T-shirts to send to Rob Portman’s campaign office, where they’ll sit in boxes until somebody takes them to the Goodwill with all the other shirts donated by broken-up bands and failed campaigns. And then, poor people of Ohio, maybe then you can have a $4 t-shirt again. Jesus fucking christ. [YouTube]


Hola wonkerados.

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the problem child May 10, 2010 at 1:07 pm


edgydrifter May 10, 2010 at 1:08 pm

If the shirt-stealing Portman was Natalie instead of Rob, I think Ohio Democrats might be more receptive.

ioksotot23 May 10, 2010 at 1:11 pm

needs more (moar?) blue collar “broads”, actually topless, to get a groundswell….

ioksotot23 May 10, 2010 at 1:13 pm

beyond the idiot gimmicky not-dealing-with -the real-problem head-in-the-sand bullshit

norbizness May 10, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Won’t be watching that, but can the guy in the freeze-frame play medical crustacean Dr. Zoidberg in a live-action Futrama?

SayItWithWookies May 10, 2010 at 1:15 pm

I’m outraged and saddened to hear that there are only four people left in Ohio. Why aren’t more ugly people being shipped there?

slappypaddy May 10, 2010 at 1:16 pm

the man-boobs hurt the eyes. and how come rob portman didn’t take the shirts off the backs of any of the women? equal rights, i want to see me some woman-boobs if i’m going to have to see the man-boobs.

RoscoePColtraine May 10, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Its going to be said anyway, sooner or later, so here I’ll go:

Tits or GTFO.

(Man boobs do NOT count as tits.)

nappyduggs May 10, 2010 at 1:17 pm

G.D. that Murphy and his law, which invariably dictates that these gross-ass posts come along so very near the luncheon hour.

Extemporanus May 10, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Wasn’t the 40th anniversary of the “Kent State Moobings” last week?

Bruno May 10, 2010 at 1:18 pm

I’ll bet if you walk around poor villages in Mexico there are lots of donated t-shirts that say something about Walnuts and Snowbilling willing in ’08

the problem child May 10, 2010 at 1:19 pm

[re=573726]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: They do when they’re bigger than woman boobs.

Manos: Hands of Fate May 10, 2010 at 1:20 pm

I sat through that whole video waiting to at least see some bra action, but nothing. Just fat white dudes. How obscene.

Lascauxcaveman May 10, 2010 at 1:22 pm

C’mon, perky young Ohio (female) twenty-somethings. Surely you, too, have a message for Rob Portman!

Dashboard_Buddha May 10, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Must be jelly ‘cuz jam don’t shake like that.

Tommmcatt May 10, 2010 at 1:27 pm


freakishlystrong May 10, 2010 at 1:28 pm

What’s that noise? Oh, something’s circling the drain.

deutsch May 10, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I wouldn’t say this ad is a complete waste of time, since it makes me feel better about both my body and the quality of my underthings.

Extemporanus May 10, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=573741]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Hey baby, do fries come with that ad?

ohiolobbyist May 10, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Ugh. I really need to get out of this place.

bago May 10, 2010 at 1:50 pm

At a time like this, we need the respected commentary of “Hooray for Boobies”.

ella May 10, 2010 at 1:55 pm

If there’s an American remake of The Full Monty, the cast is in place.

turdsandwich May 10, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Wonkette, don’t succumb to the urge to use “Democrat” where you should use “Democratic”…or else the terrorists win.

Also, “succumb.” hahaha.

DC Hates Me May 10, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Rob Portman wears shirts, unlike most Ohioans. Ohio masturbates with Lee Fisher.

Our Hobo Senator May 10, 2010 at 2:24 pm

It’s a response to a Republican web ad (now pulled from the internetz due to copyright issues) which used an image of Democratic candidate Lee Fisher shirtless to imply that he was masturbating while jobs left the state. So it’s not entirely without context. Also.

the cold war makes me hot May 10, 2010 at 2:51 pm

[re=573849]Our Hobo Senator[/re]: get a haircut, Senator Hippy.

Mr Blifil May 10, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Needs moar waist length white beards and behind the beat guitar skillz.

Mr Blifil May 10, 2010 at 2:57 pm

[re=573736]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah really. Apparently Cleveland no longer rocks.

PortlandSmartAss May 10, 2010 at 3:22 pm

I think it’s a great punch-back ad. If it was sexual at all, it would be too like the GoP ad. As it is, it makes a clever policy point, and also says “there shouldn’t be anything sexual about this race.”

AND, it plows the field for unofficial youtube videos of people who are more, uh, trim, to do the same things.

Ken Layne May 10, 2010 at 3:38 pm

[re=573764]ohiolobbyist[/re]: Sorry.

[re=573801]turdsandwich[/re]: We don’t really do the “libtard terminology police” thing here, as who gives a shit?

[re=573849]Our Hobo Senator[/re]: All the context in the world can’t help this thing.

proudgrampa May 10, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=573726]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I agree. I’m thinking casabas.

maven May 10, 2010 at 4:19 pm

I was hoping they’d get Natalie Portman to take off her shirt. Wrong Portman, I guess.

chaste everywhere May 10, 2010 at 4:29 pm

With thanks to They Might Be Giants:

No is no
No plus no equals no
All no’s lead to no no no
Pardon me–no–excuse me–no–
Red means stop do not go
No no no

Tim Was Tim May 10, 2010 at 6:09 pm

I’m old enough to remember when an Atlanta Braves logo tattoo was enough to keep you out of a topless commercial in Ohio.

XOhioan May 10, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Oh good lord, earlier Ohio Republicans ran an ad portraying Democratic senatorial candidate Lee Fisher shirtless, looking like he was masturbating:

It’s apparently not Photoshopped. It begs the question: why would a 60-ish senatorial candidate allow himself to be photographed this way?

Bearbloke May 10, 2010 at 6:37 pm

[re=573764]ohiolobbyist[/re]: Do all hoboes in Ohio go about shirtless whilst offering toothless blowjobs in the alleys and backstreets? Can’t be good for business, that!

[re=574201]XOhioan[/re]: fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap… eh?! Say what now?… Nevermind… fapfapfapfap…

libwakman May 10, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Hahaha..and these fat fuckers have the obese nerve to say they cannot afford shirts while crowding the Wendy’s drive thru 86 times a day.

migueldiazzie May 11, 2010 at 12:30 am

This is really a unique way to protest.
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