MSNBC, Reuters and the New York Times all just made it official, even if the White House hasn’t: Elena Kagan is Barack Obama’s pick for the Supreme Court seat left vacant by John Paul Stevens. Kagan, of course, is a woman and a lawyer or judge of some kind. Aw hell where is our ready-to-post “Fun Facts Feature” on Elena Kagan, must’ve left it on our other iPad.
Ah, here we go. “Elena Kagan is an important lady lawyer who works for Barack Obama. She is very smart and wingnuts will hate her because of her lady parts, but she will be confirmed anyway. Kagan probably went to Harvard or Yale or whatever.”
Congratulations, Elena! You will look super in that bow-tie. [New York Times/Reuters]
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But can she replace Ginsburg as the homeliest Justice?
Dear ______(MSM Outlet/Local Paper/ESPN/Guns & Ammo Magazine),
I’m absolutely ______(Outraged/Terrified/Frightened/Worried/Angered) that Hussein Obama has chosen the RADICAL ________ to the position of _______(!/!!/!!!/!!!!!)
Just because the RADICAL ______ is _____(Black/Hispanic/Asian/French/Female/Empathetic/Educated/Experienced) doesn’t mean that the RADICAL ________ is qualified for the position of ______(!/!!/!!!/!!!!!)
Every single _____(Patriotic/Freedom Loving/God Fearing/Gun Worshiping) American should be absolutely _____(Outraged/Terrified/Frightened/Worried/Angered) over this choice ____(!/!!/!!!/!!!!!)
We will not sit back and watch Hussein Obama _____(Destroy our Nation/Undermine the Constitution/Spit in the face of our Founding Fathers) (!/!!/!!!/!!!!!)
We will not allow Hussein Obama turn us into______(Commies/Socialists/Marxists/Sandanistas/Hugo Chavez/Black Panthers/Al Franken/ACORNS/Homos) (!/!!/!!!/!!!!!)
This is why I oppose this choice______(!/!!/!!!/!!!!!)
I don’t think teh wingnuts will hate Kagan because of her lady parts; just for what they’ll insinuate she may or may not use them for.
I think the White House should use the “Kagan ryhmes with Reagan” approach to win over GOP votes.
[re=573350]George Oscar Bluth[/re]: The current SCOTUS is sooooo hot! Kagan’s totally gonna fuck it up.
She looks like Matthew Broderick in full drag (if he put on about forty pound of blubber). Once she’s in get set to kiss “goodbye” to the the few civil liberties that you have left.
[re=573352]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Ha ha ! Wingnut AdLib! And it’s spot on.
[re=573356]wolfcatcher[/re]: Oh, so many questions — like, does anyone really say “full drag” anymore, or were you just watching tapes of Bob Hope’s USO tours?
Does the civil right you’re most concerned about losing have to do with marrying outside of your species?
Did you mention Matthew Broderick when you clearly meant Nathan Lane (they both starred in The Producers together, hence the association) because you were afraid that knowing who Nathan Lane is might out yourself as a closeted homosexual Republican?
Are you by any chance a youth pastor?
Please devote at least 3 months to this confirmation process Washington Assholes instead of thinking about how people like me have run out of unemployment, savings, and hope.
Let the wingnut quote-mining begin! Surely the woman has said something like “I would like to impose Marxist institutions on the American people through the court system” or “Mitch McConnel is an impotent grundle-sniffer” in the past.
Haven’t we all?
[re=573359]chascates[/re]: Don’t worry — after about a month they’ll start doing thumbsuckers about whether the Kagan nomination is taking our attention away from more pressing issues.
I bet Jeff “Klan eyes” Sessions will call her “unqualified” (aka “lesbian”) and over educated (aka “a reader”). I’m tempted to put this entire comment in “quotes.”
Same as Kevin Drum, I am not feeling this consolidation of the Supreme Court into an Ivy League alumni club.
Barry Hussein should have gone with Diane Wood — already in her early 60s, but a confirmed liberal jurist (where Kagan is an Executive lackey) — or Pamela Karlan, the lesbian Clarence Thomas (as in, would have been appointed in early 40s & liable to drive the opposition bonkers for four decades on the court).
Fuck this.
[re=573362]El Pinche[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9muzyOd4Lh8
You mean Coburn or Shelby haven’t put a hold on her nomination? Or at least a double secret probationary one.
I heard Elega Kagan was a heterosexual. SSSHHH.
Thank god some people still have their priorities straight. From Drudge:
PRESIDENT LASHES OUT AT MEDIA WORLD; IPADS, XBOXES, RUMORS…
BUT HOOKED ON CRACKBERRY…
FLASHBACK: Obama Advertises In Video Games During ’08 Election…
Two New Yawkahs on the Supreme Bench = F*** YOU, GW SHRUB LEGACY!
[re=573370]memzilla[/re]: No, it means we, as a nation, are not horribly creative.
Might as well put the ONION’s HATER on SCOTUS.
[re=573371]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: You have to admit, though, anything that gives Drudge a conniption fit has to be good.
Correction: Obama has named CNN anchor Daryn Kagan to replace Diana Ross in the Supremes.
I would say, put someone smart who’s not a judge on supreme court. Is that crazy? Is that ever done? Someone who teaches constitutional law. Or parachute that blagoiovitch guy in there.
Release the Kagan!
[re=573358]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Eh, I’m pretty hetero and I think she looks more Broderick(+50 lbs) than Lane. But I never saw The Producers so whadda I know, anyways?
It’s pretty clear that Obama has a thing for good-looking babes … but please, how about a liberalࠁ?!
I don’t know what you guys are talking about. She looks nothing like Zero Mostel or Gene Wilder.
[re=573376]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: See the 1968 movie, mate – it’ll all make sense afterwards…
Has Obamer given up on his search for a youngish liberal Buddhist Asian bi-curious woman?
I believe that she will continue to be an executive lackey when she’s on the bench because I would continue to suck dick for cocaine as a judicial philosophy if I found myself in the same situation.
[re=573378]DoktorZoom[/re]: Au contraire – Zero Mostel is exactly the comparison I was looking for.
Let’s go crazy figuring out her position on abortion. An issue that she’ll probably never decide.
[re=573358]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Wow, you’re pretty concerned about my sexuality, no need to explain why (it’s obvious what you’re fishing for . . . sorry, no dice, but I’m truly flattered). Anywho, the real rub with Kagan is that she’s a superfan of the abuse of executive power, kind of a dick cheney on steroids mentality. Too bad you once again couldn’t think of anything witty or amusing to write, that happens to you a lot (don’t feel bad, we’re all used to your epic fails and nobody expects you to contribute).
Well, I’m out the door for Central America (Beliez) in about ten minutes, deep jungle, no intertubes for a couple of weeks, you can just keep on sucking hard till I get back. Enjoy your shitty job (or whatever it is numbnutz basement dwellers like you do all day).
[re=573376]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: [re=573378]DoktorZoom[/re]: She kinda resembles Patton Oswalt in a few pics, but whatever.. : P
needz moar cathlickz
[re=573386]wolfcatcher[/re]: Have fun in BelIZE.
[re=573386]wolfcatcher[/re]: Lemme guess, you’re going to ‘Beliez’ to catch wolves with your bare hands.. Why don’t you just stick to the things you know– shopping, nail polish, your father’s BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean?
It’s a safe bet there are no tawdry tabloid revelations upcoming featuring her.
She’s clearly an activist judge and will replace all national and military songs with Broadway show tunes.
[re=573356]wolfcatcher[/re]:
Did you ever notice that the folks wailing about the loss of their civil rights can’t actually name a single civil right they’ve lost?
Ha ha. I actually thought/hoped he might nominate Diane Wood. Sucker. Elena Kagan is the lady judge counterpart to Larry Summers.
So, this’ll make it five Catholics, two Jews, three women, and only two Protestant men on the court. Heh. That whirring sound you hear is John C. Calhoun spinning at 300 rpm.
[re=573378]DoktorZoom[/re]: Oh you need to watch the original movie the producers. She is a dead ringer for Zero Mostel
[re=573401]Lazy Media[/re]: don’t forget the black guy, they got one of them, too ya know.
[re=573399]Terry[/re]: Au contraire!!! They lost the right to beat up minorities, to harass gheys, to hold every position of power…. [re=573386]wolfcatcher[/re]: You did look at this site before posting, right? right? You didn’t just randomly post like a PUMA?
“There was no daylight between Ms. Kagan, who was the dean of Harvard Law School, and Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican of South Carolina, as he led her through a six-minute colloquy about the president’s broad authority to detain enemy combatants. ‘Do you believe we’re at war?’ the senator asked. ‘I do, senator,’ she answered crisply.
Indeed, there was so much adulation in the air from Republicans that one Democrat, Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, joked at the hearing that she understood how Ms. Kagan ‘managed to get a standing ovation’ from the Federalist Society, a conservative legal group.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/17/us/17kagan.html?_r=1
“No daylight” between Kagan and Lindsey Graham on executive power. A pick Lieberman celebrates for making the court “less liberal.” Democrats will blindly support the nomination for being Obama’s pick, but what will progressives do? “Update Facebook status” is the correct answer.
[re=573401]Lazy Media[/re]:
Yeah, the Fundies aren’t going to get many folks on the Supreme Court until they get past their aversion to book learning and all.
Secret Muslim.
As Betty White pointed out, she’s a lesbian.
I, for one, welcome our new, not very attractive, kind of frumpy, but very smart scotus overlords.
[re=573379]Bearbloke[/re]: Obama may have stopped searching; I have not.
But on a related subject: Is a transgendered gay lesbian the same thing as a straight male?
[re=573405]dum librul[/re]: Right? Sigh.
Is it just me, or does the word SCOTUS sound sort of naughty?
[re=573356]wolfcatcher[/re]: [re=573358]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, the real teatard “tell” was putting “goodbye” in “quotes”.
It’s about as uninspiring and crappy a choice as possible.
[re=573368]Jim Newell[/re]: That won’t stop the Party of Ideas!
But what of the Paris Hilton for SCOTUS lobby?
[re=573398]DC Hates Me[/re]: There’s no business like fetus business…
[re=573352]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Add being a New York Jew with Minimal Driving Skills:
http://bench.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NjZkMGIzYjJhYTJlYjAzNDRjZWEyZjQxMWMwM2NlMmI=
[re=573369]chascates[/re]: Why is Drudge considered a “reporter” when his site is just a collection of links? I’ll never understand this intertubes thing.
I just can’t WAIT for the months of “She’s a liberal radical communist lesbian!”/”She’s a damned centrist, not a PROGRESSIVE! We need a PROGRESSIVE on the court!”
I’m beginning to think the “need” for an “inspiring” choice is really kind of weird. I mean, a Supreme Court nomination is very important, and we definitely should care about who gets picked, but, you know, they ain’t all Thurgood Marshall.
Dead ringer for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”
Terry: The fundies used to have this one guy with book-learning lined up, but then he turned out to be obsessed with semen stains and threatening ladies that he would tell about their daughter’s BJ’s. He investigated and reported to the nation that the President masturbated into a sink with a fat girl watching… on Easter SUNDAY!!!!! That revelation turned out not to have the same impact on normal people as that one fundie thought.
I wanted Diane Wood. She’s the one who plays oboe, right? I like any judge who knows how to wield a knife to make her own reeds.
[re=573379]Bearbloke[/re]: “Has Obamer given up on his search for a youngish liberal Buddhist Asian bi-curious woman?”
He might have, but I haven’t
It’s nice of Obama to nominate Chaz Bono to the SCOTUS, but I wish he had picked a liberal and not a corporate shill.
This will really piss off Glenn Greenwald.
[re=573350]George Oscar Bluth[/re]: This is why I miss SKS and her banhammer.
To be honest, it’s about the pick one would suspect from Obama. I mean, he’s a right-leaning unitary executive kinda guy who doesn’t want to have a real fight for the position, so her having no paper trail works out just fine.
Why he doesn’t want to have something like the Sotomayor debate again is anyone’s guess, as that was one of the few out-and-out wins he’s had.
[re=573352]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: May I please steal that and repost somewhere else, somewhere that no one will even realize it’s funny? Okay?
[re=573399]Terry[/re]: Civil rights that we’ve lost?
For starters, how about the “right” of U.S. citizens not to be murdered, without due process, merely by Executive Order?
Oh, and would you mind waving your right hand? The Predator drone operator is having trouble getting a laser target designator lock on you amidst all those bull dykes celebrating that wedding.
Not that much of a lock is required. Given that the warhead has about a 20 meter kill radius in the anti-personnel mode.
KILL U.S. CITIZENS WITHOUT DUE PROCESS — FOR FREEDOM!!!!!!!
[re=573352]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: revre
I would have picked Paula Abdul.
Sonia … Elena … Why does Obamar discriminate against non-’a'-first-name-ending US Americans? Next one will be Portia Rossi – you mark my words.
[re=573401]Lazy Media[/re]: Oop, that’s five Catholics, THREE Jews and one Episocopalian, which is tantamount to a god-damned Papist except they worship the king of England instead of the Pope.
Where are the Regent University grads?
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