He's so street.RNC comedy chairman Michael Steele has finally stepped up and taken responsibility for the Republicans’ insane bondage-lesbian-strip-club party spending, if by “stepped up” you mean “he fired the finance director and the deputy finance director.” (He fired another minor character in this sexytime melodrama back in March.) Steele, America’s Number One hilarious person, told RNC moneyman Rob Bickhart and his assistant moneylady, Debbie LeHardy, that they would have to resign so that Michael Steele could keep his absurdly cushy job and royal office all so he can help the Republicans continue to provide jokes for comedians. [AP/TPM]

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  1. Steele’s Chief of Staff Michael Leavitt said: “While we appreciate their service to the RNC and wish them well in future endeavors, the Chairman felt it was important to restructure the department in order to continue to improve on our strong fundraising numbers.”

    Translation: What kind of idiots can’t even hide their inappropriate business expenses? Also, we’re hemorrhaging money.

  2. This club is around the corner from my house, and I’m having a hard time believing the “lesbian bondage” thing looking at the crowd outside. Douchebags, yes. Scenester Fuckette Anorexochicks, yes. Hard core dyke leather daddies? Not from what I’ve seen.

  3. [re=572995]Tommmcatt[/re]: If you read the descriptions Wonkett pulled up, it’s just an edgy strip club for rich frat boys. It’s not a sex club, it’s just a club that has ladies pretending to whip each other and to go down each others’ appalachian trails, in a plastic box in the wall.

    It is a “lesbian bondage”-themed club, but it is not for lesbians who like bondage. It is for men with pink ties and frosted hair and overpriced suits to watch women pretend to be lesbians, in bondage.

  4. More succinctly, it’s for guys who practice saying “Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it” in the mirror each night before going out on the town.

  5. I volunteer to go undercover with two female journalists-my secret girlfriends Tamron Hall and Rachel Maddow -and do the sexy lesbian spanking thing.Just in the interests of finding out exactly what goes on in that place, you understand.

  6. I’m still troubled by the fact that this “lesbian club” — which is, let’s face it, merely a code for “Hot STRIPPER Girl-On-Girl ACTION!!!!!! — is over in West Hollywood, a/k/a “Boys Town.”

    What’s next? Oscar Meyer allegedly opening a outlet in Mecca?

  7. As penance for this and a whole catalogue of other sins, Michael Steele should have to perform a night of field songs and spirituals for the highest ranking members of GLAAD.

  8. Upstanding Christian that he is, Mr. Steele has undoubtedly been asking each of his staff to check each of the sins in the FRC catalog they have committed. These two were just the earliest ones to flunk the test.

  9. Eventually Steele is going to be fired or quite his cushy position as Head Token Black Republican.
    With his experience, what new job should he seek out?
    Mike the plumber?
    Alaskan Governor?
    Luggage carrier for Rev. Franklin Graham?

  10. [re=573016]Neilist[/re]: What’s next? Oscar Meyer allegedly opening a outlet in Mecca?

    Since their weenies contain nothing that even resembles pork (or beef, for that matter), I don’t see the problem.

  11. Just wait until the Repugs come roaring back to power at the midterms. Then the Klan chapters and tea baggers will be proclaiming that this clown is da man!

  12. [re=573017]nappyduggs[/re]:

    It actually is on the outskirts of boys-town- over by Fairfax, which is a very Russian neighborhood. Close to a Whole Foods, actually.

  13. Gawd, he was a hoot today on Andrea Mitchell’s show. Although I usually don’t care for Andrea, I admit she didn’t let him off the lesbian/stripper/bondage hook today. He was miffed that the media won’t quit talking about it, ergo this afternoon’s firings.

    Although the high point was when he was defending the HI trip. He was all like ‘Hawaii wasn’t expensive. It cost about the same as flying first class to MI.’ HA HA HA HA…seriously, you gotta see that footage.

  14. [re=573035]Tommmcatt[/re]:

    Good to know, but I think it was Neilist who was up in arms over the locale (see what I did there, in homage to Neilist?)

    [re=573014]Limeylizzie[/re]: May I submit a resume to be included in your downtown, backdoor sexcapade? I have a spring-loaded shoulder, an appetite for edible panties, and a gimp mask.

  15. A real street brother would have known if you’re going to do some dirt, you do it with cold, untraceable cash.

    Or maybe anyone whose party lost a President after his staff decided to pay burglars with a fucking check. You could expect a guy in that position to pick up on the obvious too.

  16. [re=573014]Limeylizzie[/re]: It should be pointed out that any [i]responsible[/i] investigative journalism should involve photographic evidence. Copious, copious photographic evidence.

  17. [re=573032]southern mark smith[/re]: No, what Mike meant by that is the Boss doesn’t take the fall for anyone. That’s the underlings’ job. You want Big Mike to go down, you gotta take him down.


    [re=573057]Tommmcatt[/re]: Are you sure you’ve logged in to the right blog?

  18. [re=573014]Limeylizzie[/re]: If Rachel isn’t available, I am a reasonable hand-drawn facsimile thereof and would be happy to play along, for the sake of journalistic integrity, of course. We should get Katydid in on this too, as I think she has a journamalism past at least as credible as Snowbilly’s.

  19. [re=573052]bitchincamaro[/re]: I know, what’s with these names? Steele, Dickhart and LeHardy? That’s some weird ‘law porn’ shit right there.

  20. [re=573070]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Only an accounting scandal and/or tax evasion can bring down the Boss (cf. Capone, Gotti, Abramoff, et al.). Is this not an accounting scandal?

    Moo, also.

  21. In Biblical times, they would have taken a goat, placed the sins of the community on it, and driven it out of town (hence the word scapegoat). The RNC, on the other hand, would keep the goat and fuck it.

  22. [re=573014]Limeylizzie[/re]: I can pretend to be Mike Pence and they can play good pundit/bad pundit on me. Tamron can be the bad one while she smothers me with her big …commentaries and Rachel (who suddently went bad) can spank my corn-fed hypocritical lobbyist fucking ass with a fishing pole.

    Better yet , they can dress as bad little $500/hr Rentboys and I can play the anti-gay christian closet homo tempted by their wicked sodomy. Rachel can . Then Tamron gets on . Then I remove the tamale, clean up, and leave quietly.

  23. [re=573096]southern mark smith[/re]: Oh, man! Sheeeit! Does Big Mike look like an accountant to you?!

    (Don’t answer that.)

    Moo, as well?

  24. You go, Michael, Man of Steele! Remember, the more people you can fire, the bigger a boss you are. Make them fear you, Michael. Make them fear you.

  25. [re=573022]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: With his experience, what new job should he seek out?

    As a “prominent black republican”, he has a future in the wingnut welfare circuit. I predict a gig with the Heritage Foundation, probably using his hip-hop skills to work to attract young “urban” voters to the republican party. Or, he could work in public relations for a far-far right firm. He’ll never have to hold a real job again, as long as he “keeps the faith”.

    If “Heckuva Job” Michael Brown can have a “consultant” job managing disaster responses, and be featured on all the mainstream news channels as some kind of disaster response expert, then Steele can stay in wingnut gravy jobs for the rest of his life, too. After all, Brown “managed” the response to hurricane Katrina into the worst cluster-fuck the country has ever seen; so Steele’s expertise in comedic PR disasters would put him in demand too.

  26. [re=573068]mumblyjoe[/re]: [re=573071]the problem child[/re]: [re=573079]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Oh we all have some crazy and dark needs here at the Wonkette? But, we are vanilla compare with our friend
    El Pinche here.[re=573113]El Pinche[/re]: I would have to have a notebook with me to accommodate all your deep desires , lest I forget a quirk or two!

  27. You realize, Steele is actually the world’s greatest secret agent, successfully making the Republicans look even stupider than they would otherwise. Do you realize how hard that is?

  28. [re=573016]Neilist[/re]: My understanding is that it’s not a real strip club, not a place for visiting bidnessmen and frat boys to get their perv on and put dollars in garters. It’s a dance club with fake lesbo-bondage-stripper action for background ambiance. Your basic “edgy” Hollywood trendster scene.

  29. [re=573044]nappyduggs[/re]: For future reference: The phrase “homage to Neilist” makes no sense. In English, or any other language.

    The “club” being located closer to Fairfax makes more sense, given the Russian mafia connection in that part of town. But about the only places I know over there are Kantor’s Deli and Molly Malone’s.

    Maybe I should go check it out. You know, as an “homage to Michael Steele.” Although that phrase makes no sense, either.

  30. [[re=573036]Tommmcatt[/re]: re=573040]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Saw that, it was awesome. Mikey was gettin’ pissed. Later Tweetie waled on Pataki in an entertaining but uninformative manner as well.

    [re=573014]Limeylizzie[/re]: Although I’m very busy, I’m sure I could find the time to accompany you and your team on this heroic expedition into the Heart of Republican Darkness. Please send a Wonkett Private Messsage immediately with the date and time of Tamron’s arrival.

    [re=573036]Tommmcatt[/re]: [re=573034][/re]: That avatar is the Beav’s older brother Tony Dow, nicht wahr?. “Ward, I’m worried about Wally…”

  31. Jerky, scratched, black and white film images: the Big Cow hanging onto the cowcatcher, his Italian shoes slipping, trying to find purchase on the battered metal. Manicured fingers (with class ring) straining to hang onto a steaming hot headlamp. Pumping steel wheels throwing sparks. The train whistle blows as the engine smokes and veers toward a too-narrow tunnel. Dylan screams on the soundtrack: “Give me some milk or else go home!”

    Whoo-whoo. Crunch. Etc.

  32. Looks like Steele’s been watching Scarface.

    “I never fucked anybody over in my life didn’t have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my black balls and my race card and I don’t break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up I fired, I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and had me mocked over a lesbian bondage club. But that’s history. I’m here, he’s not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don’t, then you make a move.”

  33. [re=573118]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I AM THE SON OF AN ACCOUNTANT! (Well, a suburban, non-hip-hop accountant, so really no basis for comparison.)

  34. The club is about LA’s favorite hobby, titillation, with the emphasis not on “lation.” It’s a desperately workaholic city that tries to compensate with fantasies. Steele is just performing his duties as party pimp.

  35. Wonketters would make killer scriptwriters for an x-rated snarkfest political-sexytime TV show. This post has one such script in outline, with cast of characters, plot, and sex hilarity. But I doubt even premium cable TV would have the guts to produce it let alone air it.

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