The Dow Jones plunged 8.8% at some point this afternoon, and was then down about 7%, and now it’s “only” down about 3.2% — that’s for the day, and not including the losses earlier this week — and it’s all because of Greece and the live video on the teevee of the Greek Darth Vader Cops and the protesters throwing shit and the burning banks full of corpses and this one crazy yellow dog pacing the invisible Maginot Line, barking at the cops, wagging its tail, etc. Craziness. Dow’s down 400 320 407 485 293 349 points at this moment. Let’s watch the video of the European Union crumbling before our eyes.
The DJIA plunges 1,000 points, then shoots up 500 points, what the hell. S&P down nearly 3%, bonds down, Euro shortly to be worth about five American cents, etc. Traders are making crazy money on these huge swings — while, conversely, other traders (and, probably, you, whether you’re paying attention or not) lose like crazy. Is it all “black box trading” or Sinister Robots or program-trading or a giant Cancel Button?
And the S&P has officially erased its entire 2010 gain, bye moneys!
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Bwhahahahaha! And you envisioned the Euro zone as a viable alternative to the US and its mighty Dollar!
I guess all those country’s that insisted on payment in Euros are rueing it now.
“We ought to make the π higher.” -George W. Bushadapolis
Harsh Cuts in Greece = massive and violent protests
Harsh Cuts in the USA = massive and violent Palin adoration.
You can’t fool us, Wonkett. This is footage of soccer hooliganism from a month from now, in response to the result of some game or other, in South Africa. You’ve simply teleported it from the future and slapped up a quick post, rather than trying to add value to our economy through the fruits of honest labor. If you could find out the actual outcome of that game however, I’d appreciate it as I might want to make a small side bet or two.
I used to have a neighbor who was a DC cop and he loved when big demonstrations would come to town, cause it meant one thing — hours and hours of overtime.
Of course Greece has no money so these cops are probably getting paid in olives.
Crazy fuckers, those Europeans, but they sure have a better cellphone network.
And us, just cold laffin’ bout sexcapades all the live long day. Nero fiddled while shit burned; Teh Wonkett plays the skin flute.
[re=571822]Fox n Fiends[/re]: I had no idea “Harsh Cuts” had salons in Greece!
So, how is that revaluing oil in Euros going?
Now, Ken…you couldn’t possibly be saying that trading firms use huge mutual pools as lever arms to swing their (relatively) small speculatives through the fucking roof during times of uncertainty, essentially siphoning 1/15th of an 80 ft yacht directly out of each individual shareholder’s asshole, could you? That’s madness.
Nice RT-sourced video. I bet RT’s Kremlin propaganda overlords are jerking off over the prospect of the EU tanking.
The downward spike occurred when the Republican lawmakers had to take a quick break from “making love” to the exchange.
Greece accounts for about 2% of the economic output of the EU. Talk about the tail wagging the dog.
Then again, I’m heading over to Olde Europe next week, so come on baby, total Euro collapse! Woo Hoo!
Wonkette page views go down.
On-line trading page views go up.
Xanax sales reach record highs.
Just helping you with your next few headlines Ken.
And, really, the Greeks are amuetures. I mean, their riots are nothing compared to your average NBA championship, and the DOW doesn’t crash every time three people get killed in Detroit.
[re=571831]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: My thought exactly. A local Tea Bagger assured me (by screaming red-faced) that oil would soon only be able to be purchased by euros and that would mean that the dollar and the United States was doomed. DOOMED!
[re=571832]Snarkalicious[/re]: Hahah I would never say any such thing, that’s anti-american! But I sure wish I would’ve bought a few thousand shares of P&G at 39 dollars.
Ken’s in one of his moods again, as these market declines delay his planned retirement again and again. Don’t take it out on us, Ken! You should have put some of your wealth in bond funds!.
Ha ha! Julie Hymen!
[re=571827]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: One of my Chicago cousins used to be married to a cop (until, swear to G*d, he dumped her for her brother’s wife) and he loved when big demonstrations would come to town, cause it meant one thing — getting paid to beat the shit out of people he despised.
The Sex Tour I booked to Lesbos better not be affected by all this monies talk.
[re=571827]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Give it a week, and these cops will be relieved that it was olives, and not Euros.
We need to lower a huge box over the wall street to capture all the munnies leaking out all over the place. Otherwise the ducks and otters and administrative assistants and other wildlife will be plastered in greenbacks losing their waterproofing and freezing or sinking or whatever.
I am not getting shit done today. There’s a huge fire near where my girlfriend works in maine…there’s some crazy terrorist fucker on a Greyhound bus around the corner from my office in NH. Now this?
Greece is a sovereign country, it is defaulting on its debt, the US is a sovereign country, it has debt, OMG, the US is gonna default too! All the sovereign countries are gonna jump on this fad, you know what fashionistas they are! OMG!
On the plus side, I was recently able to buy some beautiful brandini, a nice fish, for eating, that was flown in from Greece, for way cheap, and I have to assume that this is because the Greeks are accepting payment in the form of shiny beads and pocket lint, these days, for their goods.
[re=571821]Extemporanus[/re]: Boooooooo!!!!
[re=571835]JMP[/re]:
To top it off, they actually stopped to tear some pages from the WSJ and a King James’ bible to put over the wet spot.
Wonder if George Rekers and Lucien toured Greece.
What would Socrates do?
Whew! That was a helluva ride today! Reminded me of Kingda Ka:
http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/a/images/kingda.ka.jpg
oh great christ. the recovery wasn’t a recovery, it was just the first bounce the basketball takes when it has fallen from the third-story window to the pavement below.
and now, on this windy day, the match has been dropped into the field of dry stubble that is the global economy.
(mix them metaphors, kitty! shake ‘em up hard! harder!)
from today’s “der spiegel”: “The financial crisis isn’t over by a long shot, but has only entered a new phase. Today, the world is no longer threatened by the debts of banks but by the debts of governments, including debts which were run up rescuing banks just a year ago.”
time to take a pill. several pills. and a swig of that whiskey. and a hit off that smoldering thing. hide, kitty! run and hide!
I no longer like-a the sauce.
Maybe this is Obama’s Katrina? Or was it when he called the Teabaggers “Teabaggers?”
[re=571874]slappypaddy[/re]: Uh, the banks are fine goddamnit. Who cares if the governments collapse? This is capitalism at work, surely industry and the free market can take a break from firing all their workers to bring us into a new era of prosperity.
Was that a Greek protest, or just old footage of Woodstock?
Some good news for Greece is that there will be a steady decline in the stray animal population.; however, your souvlaki might taste a little mangey.
Why are they angry? What does a Grecian urn?
What? Nobody yelling “Opa!” as they tossed their Molotov cocktails? FAIL.
What kind of gas are they using. If everyone looses there gray tonight then we’ll know it’s a Grecian formula.
Catch 22: weak Euro means I can have more money to spend in Greece; dropped Wall Street means I have less money to spend in Greece. Teh Greeks love them some rioting. How did the ass-hole Ottomans and Nazis and Το καθεστώς των Συνταγματαρχών stay in power in the face of such rioting?
Silly Americans. You should be LEARNING from the Greeks, not mocking them. If you libtards rioted then the teabaggers would FEAR you, especially if they work in banks.
In other Euro news, Facebook pages have already started up for “Riot all over the UK if Cameron wins the election”.
Unfuckingbelievable. CNBC is reporting that the selloff was caused by some asshat typing ‘b’ instead of ‘m’ and ending up with billion instead of million leading to a massive selloff of shares and complete chaos and collapse.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/36999483
Clearly, someone earned his bonus today.
Einstein’: They’re angry because they urn much less than their ode.
[re=571911]wmsheppa[/re]: Woops! Maybe too many tequila shots at lunch, who knows!
[re=571911]wmsheppa[/re]: the secret inner workings of the global economy, or, when the proctor took a gamble.
[re=571848]Ken Layne[/re]: Oh, the real buying opportunity is coming up, just be patient…. I am sitting on the sidelines, waiting for another March 2009…..because of the new mark to market for banks, its coming. There is a global sovereign debt problem for some reason, haha.
And another thing…..suck it Goldman, this is gonna cost you 5 billions or more. can you say ‘clawback’? We will have revenge one way or the other.
Nearly below 10,000. Oh, the horrors.
fear not, the euro will soon be replaced by the chinese currency- the rinminbin (sp?) or some arabian sheikh note. they have all the wealth these days.
Pants pooping surely happened.
We had better be careful with this crisis, because you know what happens when the Greeks can’t stop fighting each other – a small kingdom or republic storms in, takes over the place and uses it as the start to conquering just about the entire known world.
I should have invested in plastics. Are you trying to seduce me?
[re=571946]JMP[/re]: I’m Alexander the Great, I am! Alexander the Great I am, I am! I invaded the country next door. It’s been invaded seven times before, and every one was an Alexander..uh..no, doesn’t work.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Super Cheap Vacations in Greece!
[re=571911]wmsheppa[/re]: Instead an oops, maybe some guy with very nasty shorts, gave Wall Street a dyslexic BM Proctorscoping and did very well on his/her shorty short shorts Gamble.
Cynical SOB, i knows.
WTF, @ 0:20 are throwing paper airplanes or something? Damn hippies.
“It looks peaceful,” except for the photographer getting the shit beat out of him in the first video
[re=571840]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “… the DOW doesn’t crash every time three people get killed in Detroit.”
No, but make ONE. FUCKING. TYPO…
.
[re=572085]joementum[/re]: but the sk8ing was SICK! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0F5mtrd7Yz4
Greek anarchists do make American tea-bagger anarchists look like a bunch of total pansies.
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