Kirsan Ilyumzhinov is a multi-millionaire businessman, conservationist, head of the World Chess Federation, and current president of the Tibetan-style Buddhist/Russian Republic of Kalmykia on the northwest shore of the Caspian Sea. He also claims that he was abducted by space aliens. Naturally, a Russian MP wants Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to personally interrogate Ilyumzhinov about the alleged 1997 UFO abduction, because what if the space monsters got some kind of KGB secrets?
The aliens came for him on September 18, 1997. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov was at home in his Moscow apartment when they came in and abducted him, taking him to their space ship where they communicated with him telepathically.
Okay! Here is a video about this small republic. You might learn something! (Not about aliens.)
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“Russia’s only Buddhist republic”? That expression is close to meaningless.
Belka! Strelka! Attack!
Alt-Text win.
I call bullshit.
Where’s the anal probing?
Also. Do the Russkis attract a breed of smarter aliens who don’t have an anal probing fetish? Cause it seems that the aliens in the West only seem to abduct folks who can be politely termed as morans (sic) or crazies.
Coincindence? Yesterday, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov’s predecessor as the Ruler of Chess, Florencio Campomanes, died while the new president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan, was sworn in. I say KARMA!
I know it’s belated but I would like to congratulate Jim Traficant on his election to President of Kalymkia.
[re=571486]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Have you ever probed a Russian anus?
Let’s not go there.
I won’t believe it’s a Russian parliamentary motion until somebody’s bright orange early 90s British Knights are banged on a table for emphasis.
I think someone is an attention whore. Check and mate, comrade.
All this could have been avoided if the Russians had a law in place that would have allowed Ilyumzhinov to ask for the aliens’ papers.
[favorite Cheech and Chong response: No, man. I always use a pipe."]
[re=571490]facehead[/re]:
For once I agree with DADT.
[re=571485]LittlePig[/re]: I liked the alt-text so much I didn’t actually read the story that came with it in case it was unamusing in comparison.
So Kalmykia should give us an example of what would’ve happened here if Kucinich had been elected president.
Exactly how does “The Jesus Secret” play into this? We all know this is connected to “The Jesus Secret” because there is a definate UFO/alien/ET/abduction aspect of “The Jesus Secret.”
The extradiction of Orly Taitz as a material witness cannot be far off.
Were the aliens’ interests purely scacchic, I wonder?
This guy should be Raelian
http://www.rael.org/rael_content/index.php
[re=571501]Norbert[/re]: Or possibly Orly Taitz as a culprit.
[re=571502]snideinplainsight[/re]: To misquote Sen Helms:
I note your distress at my floccinaucinihilipilification.
Uploading secrets of Soviet technology = Alien ticket to Failsville.
there was a time, within the lifetimes of some of us here, when abc news would not have touched a story like this with a stick.
[re=571486]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yes, an anal probe is the hallmark of a true abduction case.
Hey…now that’s an idea.
Stage a capture by fake UFO of a government official to probe them for secrets.
Maybe we can do the same thing with the terrorists so we don’t have to worry about those pesky Miranda rights…
What the governor needs to tell us is what type of aliens they were. All the article gives us is that they were telepathic (so not Klingon; Vulcan, Time Lord or any force-sensitive is a possibility though) and that “Ilyumzhinov said the aliens didn’t make themselves known to the rest of the world because they weren’t ready”.
So these aliens, waiting in the sky, would like to come and meet us, but they think they’d blow our minds. Did they tell him not to blow ’cause they know it’s all worthwhile?
[re=571486]ManchuCandidate[/re]: And drunk red necks out “fishing”. I could never figure that out…..
[re=571484]Jim Demintia[/re]: Followed closely by comment win.
The “Buddhist/Russian Republic of Kalmykia, ” with a president who was abducted by aliens? I’m calling bs on this. Some unemployed ex-Spy writers made the whole thing up, there is no such place.
[re=571486]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=571513]TGY[/re]: I remember one of the ‘Kids in the Hall’ sketches with two aliens anally probing abtuctees in a soul killing, assembly line fashion. One of them says: “Don’t you ever question the need to constantly anal probe all these humans? We’ve anally probed thousands of humans and all that we’ve ever learned is that 1 in 10 don’t seem to mind it at all!”
[re=571522]Cape Clod[/re]:
Yes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7sBTHtcLU
Ilyumzhinov said the aliens didn’t make themselves known to the rest of the world because they weren’t ready
Maybe the shy alien have come for our social phobia meds.
[re=571486]ManchuCandidate[/re]: What is up with the aliens and the anal probing? Lest any of you wippersnappers forget, Jimmy Carter also said he saw a UFO (although in fairness there was no mention of the obligatory anal probing).
I wonder if there’s a big satellite dish that unfolds out of Ilyumzhinov’s ass, like it did Eric Cartman’s. Or if he farts fire.
Sorry I’ve been away since yesterday afternoon. How did that whole ball-sucking thing with Tamron turn out yesterday?
[re=571513]TGY[/re]: [re=571522]Cape Clod[/re]: [re=571524]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Ilyumzhinov has probably done his fair share of anal probing some even-toed arian ungulates, given this description of his little piece of paradise: a few sheep, the odd lonely shepherd or bareback rider and thick and swooping murders of crows.
[re=571519]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Former Soviet republics are humping like rabbits and producing little baby former Soviet republics all over the damn place.
Aliens don’t probe anyone in Arizona because they are illegal there.
The law states anyone looking green and caught with bishop-shaped anal probe shall be dispatched instantly.
[re=571516]Elm Hugger[/re]: It’s similar to Bigfoot sightings by guys in Indiana wearing sleeveless plaid shirts, seed corn caps, camo pants and drinking PBR in a can.
This guy’s a wannabe. The First Lady of Japan has got it all over him. Plus: Tom Cruise!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32659678/ns/world_news-asiapacific/
They should come abduct Joe Lieberman.
[re=571498]Hello Sunshine[/re]: [re=571485]LittlePig[/re]:
To me Laika doesn’t look like she walked into a door, but if that’s her story . . .
[re=571515]JMP[/re]:
Switch on the TV we may pick him up on Channel 2. Let the children boogie, baby!
Kalmykia translated to English is Land Of Wal-Mart.
Poligraf Poligrafovich Sharikov would straighten out this two bit bureaucrat. Or maybe he could just call Art Bell. Who goes to the Russian president with sensitive info like this? If any of you listened to Coast to Coast, you would have known this.
[re=571501]Norbert[/re]: Extra diction is all one can expect from Orly, well said. Who needs aliens when we’ve got Taitz?
Fun fact: Ilyumzhinov is the fellow who embraced drug testing in chess, to bring it into accordance with IOC rules.
I’m not sure about his disclosing defense secrets to the aliens, but I bet the aliens told him who’s going to be next President of FIDE. Something about a friend of the cyprinids superceding a friend of the steppes.
This is clearly Obama’s fault.
[re=571485]LittlePig[/re]: Agreed! Perhaps a candidate for Alt-text of the year.
2 things everyone should know about buddhism. It is technically not a religion. It is a philosophy. The other thing is that buddhist cultures are generally not violent towards other cultures. I can’t think of one buddhist culture off the top of my head that has ever started a war.
[re=571661]mustardman[/re]: I think the idea of a Buddhist republic (whatever that is) is pretty peaceful and calm. Kalmykia seems like a nice place to live.
In space, no one can hear you bark.
Today, we all are dead Russian space dogs.
[re=571694]proudgrampa[/re]: Kalmykia is like the Vermont of Russia.
Hey, September 18th is my birthday! How come I didn’t get offered a free space ride?
[re=571661]mustardman[/re]: How about the Buddhist Sinhalese of Sri Lanka attempting genocide against their (Christian or Hindu) Tamil countrymen?
I smell a left over April Fools joke.
If it had been Culberson or Boehner, I could find it believable.
[re=571926]doloras[/re]: I was about to say, this Western fetishizing of Buddhism as a magicaal antidote towards realpolitik is retarded. What about Japanese Zen and wars of aggression?
[re=571490]facehead[/re]: Tant pis, bitch!
[re=571661]mustardman[/re]: Buddhists not starting wars? You’re not quite up on your history of the Khmer Empire, for starters. Lenin’s maternal grandmother was a pure-blooded Kalmyk, and that heritage did not seem to temper his tendency to address any social problem with a vehemently suggested mass execution (O.K., maybe that was the Volga German side of his ancestry talking… or was it the Jewish?).
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