• 'Orpheus sat gloomy in his garden shed, Wondering what to do, With a lump of wood, a piece of wire, And a little pot of glue.'Greece, which would just be some lazy Balkan/Island place nobody worried much about if it still had drachmas instead of Euros, erupted in terrible violence after grim new “austerity measures” were announced. People are going insane, basically — how else do you explain throwing gasoline bombs at a bank building, with your fellow humans inside, and killing three of them? Meanwhile, the entire global financial system is either overreacting to this Greek Tragedy or preparing for a lot more “Sovereign Debt Crisis” fun from Portugal, Spain, the UK, etc. So, congratulations to everyone for “surviving” the housing collapse and the credit crisis and the Global Recession, and do please enjoy the Sovereign Debt Crisis. [Economist/Reuters]
  • If you were very tricky with the Facebook, yesterday you might have been able to manipulate your Privacy Settings to let yourself watch the live chats of your friends on Facebook. Luckily, nobody has any idea how Facebook’s privacy settings work, including Facebook engineers. [TechCrunch/New York Times]
  • The Senate became bipartisan, hooray! In a 93-5 vote, America’s most annoying deliberative body approved some shell-game amendment to the financial reform bill. Instead of a $50-billion “industry funded” stockpile for shutting down Too Big To Fail firms that are actually failing, the money will just be taken from the U.S. Treasury, but only if the Too Big To Fail firm is considered (by someone) to be solvent. And in a purely ceremonial vote, 96 senators voted to ban the use of “taxpayer funds” for bailouts, because the government can ultimately call its money whatever it wants, and also print more of it whenever it runs out. [BusinessWeek/Washington Post]
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  1. See, this is what Europe gets for trusting the Germans again. They may not be able to destroy the continent militarily again, so instead they just take control of the Euro fiscal policy and use force an insane fear of inflation on it that sends all the other countries economies into hell.

  2. Some talking head on French TV last night was explaining that Greece had to be rescued because that’s where much of our culture comes from, and I thought of gyros and Aristotle Onassis and Melinda Mercouri but I agree there’s also Homer and Plato although I can’t see how they would care about the euro’s value, whose fall has a silver lining in that a cop of coffee at the counter now costs me only a dollar thirty something instead of a dollar sixty not so long ago, even though it’s still one euro ten in funny money.

  3. Can we also ban the use of taxpayer funds to bail out the military? Surely they can earn a profit offering their services to the highest bidder instead of leeching off socialistic handouts. I don’t see a problem.

  4. [re=571380]JMP[/re]: I always figured the EU was really a big scam for the Germans to finally take over Europe, and without firing a shot no less (tricky Krauts). The question is, now that they have it, do they really want it? Kinda like the the we broke it we own it Iraq policy, althought we’re in the midst of attempting to return those broken goods, to the current occupants of Mesopotamia, whoever they may be.

  5. Wait.
    So, they agreed, by a big number, that they didn’t want firms to have to pay to clean up after themselves, but, rather, the government, because…
    they’re against “government bailouts” and for “accountability?” Hence, also the idea that “taxpayer” money wouldn’t be involved, but just the other sort of money the government has — money they get from fees, which they will now turn around and impose on the firms… or somebody… or Pakistani IT guys working for PR firms in CT.

    There was an Arab proverb that said, according to Nat Hentoff’s Whatever It Is, I’m Against It, “When you shake hands with a Greek, count your fingers.” When you shake hands with a U.S. senator, count your arms.

  6. [re=571382]Limeylizzie[/re]: I think teh Wonkett needs to war blog Liberty Pundits at least once a week. Melissa has dozens of other nitwit, neocon meme blog posts that need to be mocked.

  7. Ken, being able to read other people’s conversations is a Facebook feature you silly. Also, makes it easier for warrantless eavesy dropsing by the CIA.

  8. [re=571380]JMP[/re]: Some of the people in Germany may still remember what happened the last time there was a killer inflation.

    And for what I know, the Germans so cheap they are ready and willing to use every piece of money there is, or will ever be, to avoid useless spending.

  9. You need to update your BrE->AmE dictionary. “Petrol bomb” = “Molotov Cocktail” (not such thing as a “gasoline bomb”).

    And where’s all the fucking drinking in the mornings? You guys never write about drinking alcohol anymore, fucking Puritans.

  10. [re=571390]tootsieroll[/re]: [re=571402]CrunchyKnee[/re]: It appears to have been deleted, but much like Calais for Mary Tudor it is carved forever on my heart.

  11. The actual purpose of Facebook, besides being a longer form of Twitter, seems unclear at this time.

    [re=571382]Limeylizzie[/re]: Having nothing to say is no impediment to posting here!

  12. Those Greek kids have just figured out now that the olds have been running up the debts for years to enjoy their government-supplied hot-and-cold running Ouzo and and free month per year on a beach in Cyprus. Now that the leg-breakers have come to collect, the olds are off hiding their Euros in Switzerland, and the kids never get to go to the party. I’d be feeling a little firebomby myself, though I hope less murderous.

  13. Zorba the Bankrupt

    “the highest point a man can attain is not Knowledge, or Virtue, or Goodness, or Victory, but something even greater, more heroic and more despairing: A Mountain of Debt!”

  14. [re=571402]CrunchyKnee[/re]: We thinks our editors received some angry feedback from Liberty Pundits Blog for linking them thereby releasing the hounds on their comments section.

  15. [re=571378]the problem child[/re]: From the picture: Did all Greeks once have tiny dicks and pussy little spears or is that just how their drawn?

  16. Meanwhile, Turkey thinks about the abject French and German racism that has kept them out of the EU and just laughs and laughs and laughs…

  17. [re=571409]V572625694[/re]: Stalking old high school girl/boyfriends, and digging up information on racist pickup owners and terrorism suspects who play Farmville. These are Facebook’s Value Propositions. It is what they Bring To The Table.

  18. [re=571406]Limeylizzie[/re]: Ahhh…so I’m NOT going crazy (at least not faster than normal). I was wondering where it went. But now I have to ask, “why Ken, why??”

  19. [re=571408]Ruhe[/re]: Except that the species “rational conservatives” is extinct in the western hemisphere or at least endangered.

  20. Luckily, nobody has any idea how Facebook’s privacy settings work, including Facebook engineers.

    There are privacy settings in Facebook? I had no idea …

    Guess I should take down those tranny-furry porn links and messages from the young men that have been carrying my luggage.

  21. [re=571414]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Strange thing: in ancient Greece, small penises were considered superior, with large penises considered a mark of uncivilized barbarians, and men liked to brag about how tiny their penises allegedly were. No, this is not a joke.

    [re=571382]Limeylizzie[/re]: I just wish I had had a chance to read that thing! Can somebody summarize?

    [re=571409]V572625694[/re]: People seem to love using it to brag that they have physical proof they’ve had sex within the past nine months to year-and-a-half.

  22. [re=571397]WadISay[/re]: It is either “Zeigen Sie mir sofort Ihren Ausweis” (polite) or “Zeig mir sofort deinen Ausweis” (not so polite) as you would know if you had spent half of your life with learning German.

  23. [re=571416]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Forgot about the stalking, having them all down and found them to be old and no longer as hot as they seemed at the time. Don’t need any more of that.

  24. [re=571425]JMP[/re]: Large black penises, non-swinging ballsack, Tamron Hall look-alike swallowing the afore-mentioned ballsack and many , many insightful comments by Wonketteers both here and at the away game on Liberty Pundits.

  25. [re=571429]V572625694[/re]: Yes, that is a disappointment. It’s amazing how much time and effort people go to in order to track down people they used to know to stalk, when there are hundreds of thousands of new people out there who are just as stalkable.

  26. “Facebook privacy settings,” this is new world-champion oxymoron, I am assuming? Step aside, “jumbo shrimp,” stand down, “military intelligence,” there is a new king.

  27. [re=571431]Limeylizzie[/re]: Sorry for the cross-comment. I think I get the idea.

    Just goes to show, you can dress up Wonketteers, but you can’t take them anywhere. What will the neighbors think?

  28. [re=571442]V572625694[/re]: [re=571442]V572625694[/re]: Stop, I was crying just looking at some of those comments again.

  29. Greece is a great place and can teach us all stuff. Exhibit A: In response to the bank deaths the bank workers have now gone on strike and have issued a statement saying, in effect, that while the deaths may have been caused by a bunch of foolish young anarchists lobbing molotovs, the real blame lies with the government for being assholes.
    Witness a country where people blame their poverty on the people who cause their poverty rather than another bunch of poor people with dark skin and their “Muslin” leader. Or even a bunch of stupid young men who think that burning down a bank (with it’semployees in it) is a good idea.

  30. [re=571413]tootsieroll[/re]: What could they possible complain about? They’re the ones that set up an un-moderated comment section. Are Republican all such hypercritical hypersensitive pussies?

  31. [re=571455]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]:
    1) I love how the stupid wingnut tried to cleverly reply to our trolling posts.

    2) Someone just added this this morning and I almost shot coffee out my nose: “I’m grateful for this discussion. I was wondering — Melissa, or perhaps Clyde — if you could inform me about how the Dirty Sanchez relates to immigration reform.

    Thanks in advance.”

    I think we should visit there again. Also.

  32. [re=571458]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: “Are Republicans all such hypercritical hypersensitive pussies?”

    As a matter of fact, they are.

  33. [re=571421]coolcatdaddy[/re]: I wonder if there is a way to impose privacy settings on other people’s postings so that i don’t have to read about the conservative bullshit my family espouses, or the purposefully enigmatic postings some of my younger friends think is mysterious and suspenseful but is in fact annoying. Run-on sentences, also.

  34. [re=571445]the problem child[/re]: This is one of those times I wish I still had Lynx; then it would be OK to check this stuff while at work before it’s destroyed.

  35. [re=571473]Undeterredbyreality[/re]: Hmmm… try agin: [’s-“disgusting”-language-with-porn-pictures/]

  36. [re=571429]V572625694[/re]: I know what you are talking about, I had a HS sweetheart that hounded me almost continuously on Facebook – so I updated my photo to better represent my current appearance, and POOF!! Gone – problem solved! (sighs… and has another beer, remembering his football glory days)

  37. Interestingly, most people in Greece speak Koine Greek, the original language of the Bible, and most people in the country have paintings by Da Vinci in their homes. So, the residents of Greek are in debt because they’ve all been spending billions of dollars protecting their connections to the Bible, Jesus and Jesus’ descendents, who live in Akron, Greece. This is all easily explained in the new book, “The Jesus Secret,” and there’s an entire chapter devoted to Greece’s financial collapse and its connection to “The Jesus Secret.”

    Much of this will also be explained in Bob Woodward’s new book, due out in the fall, “The Obama Administration and The Jesus Secret,” published by Fish Sticker Press.

  38. Sorry friends, we had a Editorial Lapse yesterday and posted something we do not post on the Wonkette, which is *actual pornographic photographs that get us banned on workplace computers, etc.* I am putting the picture in question on another site and comically work-proofing the version on Wonkette. I will repost it, along with your vile comments, shortly.

  39. [re=571520]Ken Layne[/re]: This why we worship you. And it makes sense…the more of us who remain employed and can either use the work computers or afford computers of our own.

    It’s sad when a Wonketteer has to pawn the laptop to pay the liquor bill.

  40. [re=571520]Ken Layne[/re]: Ken, did you take Newell out to the woodshed? Did you whip him good?

    Also, there is a gentle smile creeping across my face as I ponder the fact that Wonkette actually cares about such things as pr0n images and NSFW and so forth, whilst church secretaries of America can go log onto Liberty Pundits dot com to view all the filth that their hungry eyes can stand.

  41. Congrats on finding a greek vase that didn’t involve buttsecks. Although there is something like “footing” going on there . . . hm.

  42. Jay Nerdlinger – oops! sorry, Nordlinger – has a little piece over at NRO this morning about John Lennon’s song Imagine and how it’s such a communist plot. Let Us Now Mock Jay Nordlinger –

  43. [re=571404]vkladchik[/re]:

    I like to start drinking after my second cup of coffee. I drink the coffee to rid of the hangover shakes, then I drink the alcohol to get rid of the coffee shakes. It makes perfect sense to me.

  44. [re=571520]Ken Layne[/re]: Vile? As leader of the BOWEL (Big Old White Emo Lamebrains) movement, I must protest that shitty comment!

  45. [re=571655]Oblios Cap[/re]: I take prescription methedrine to get going, and to get over the hangover shakes in the morning. Then I take Xanax, and sometimes, because of unrelated pain, I take Darvocet, to mellow out the meth teeth-grinding. Its all legit, by prescription. I call it the “Elvis Cocktail.” Or the “Saint Joseph’s Baby Speedball,” depending on the day.

  46. It all started with greedy, arrogant bankers, who created thinly disguised swindles with which they were able to enrich themselves beyond even their wildest expectations.

    As we all know, Dubya and his buddies stood by idly and watched the approaching disaster – Heaven forbid that they should interfere in the “creativity” of the financial market. When the shite storm finally hit, what was the reaction (from both Republicans and Democrats)? Proper regulation? Nope. A Special Prosecutor told to lock and load. Er, no. The good old taxpayer copped the bill. For bankers, it was business as usual – Let the good times and whopping bonuses roll!

    Now, as Yogi Berra said, its déjà vu all over again, in Europe. Once again, the taxpayer (predominately the German taxpayer) is expected to bail out the banks. Even assuming the German component of the bailout goes ahead (it faces a rough passage through the Bundestag as well as a Supreme Court challenge), the fun is just starting. Today, I read a rather dry summary of the sorry-assed situation:

    “The general expectation is that if the Greek and Portuguese dominos fall, Spain will follow. The irony of the situation is that Portugal is expected to contribute about EUR2bn of the EUR120bn in bilateral loans to Greece, and Spain some EUR8bn. Italy and Ireland, who are also burdened with debts, are to contribute some EUR12bn and over EUR1bn respectively. In other words: The insolvent are expected to bail out the bankrupt.”

    In other words, they have finally gotten themselves into a hole so deep that even the taxpayers of half a dozen countries can’t dig them out. Get out the popcorn…

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