ALL OF THEM  5:48 pm May 5, 2010

‘Does This Look Like A Terrorist, Or *This*?’

by Jim Newell

Here’s some dingbat, hoping to challenge Alan Grayson in Florida, with his heroic ad supporting racial profiling of A-rabs, for airplanes.

But wasn’t the last guy who tried to blow up a major airliner black? Well fine, profile them, too, at airports, which is pretty much the one remaining place where black people don’t get profiled.

But wasn’t Joe Stack, with his private plane in Austin, white? Yes but that was just awesome. It was at an IRS building, which is probably filled with Muslims, so it was an act of National Security.

Anyway, it’s pretty low of this candidate to go through his routine without even including himself among the options. Is he scared of something?

[Greg Sargent/WP]

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ttommyunger May 5, 2010 at 5:53 pm

This dickwad doesn’t even make sense. Oh, wait a minute! Ah, yes; the non-sensical somehow scary swarthy guy ad….Brilliant! You Betcha!

Sharkey May 5, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Before you know it, all scientific experiments will be considered acts of terrorism.

ph7 May 5, 2010 at 5:55 pm

So, skinny guys aren’t terrorists – just those suffering from ‘roid rage?

GOPCrusher May 5, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Cavity searches for everyone! Hard and deep.

maven May 5, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I just wonder how much they paid the “actor” to portray himself as a potential terrorist.

V572625694 May 5, 2010 at 6:02 pm

[re=571188]maven[/re]: The tairst looks like an illegal (i.e. Mexican) to me. Ola, Jose!

Mahousu May 5, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Hey, they cut off the surprise ending – while Fanelli keeps blathering in the foreground, the white-haired guy in the background whips out an AK-47 and blows him away. Audiences love that!

AxmxZ May 5, 2010 at 6:05 pm

Hey Fartnelli, where all the white wimmen at?

sati demise May 5, 2010 at 6:06 pm

Mrs. Doubtfire will be the next terrorist.

ella May 5, 2010 at 6:06 pm

The “terrorist” looks like 90% of the guys who follow Nascar. And 12% of the women.

Extemporanus May 5, 2010 at 6:07 pm

“Let’s face it: If a good-looking, ripped guy without much hair was flying airplanes into the Twin Towers, I’d have no problem being pulled out of line at the airport.”

Let’s face it: Dan Fanelli is a mirror-less, self-delusional, grammatical terrorist who has no problem pulling it out while in line at the airport bathroom.

Kuda Bux May 5, 2010 at 6:08 pm

So, Ronnie from Jersey Shore gets a cavity search. Got it.

Shitty the Clown May 5, 2010 at 6:08 pm

The guy on the left looks like a spring wound so tight it’s ready to explode. The “good looking, rich guy without much hair” in the middle looks like someone who would hire a guy like the one on the right through, to carry his bag.

I say, put ‘em all on the no-fly list.

Oldskool May 5, 2010 at 6:10 pm

Oh I get it, he identifies himself with “good looking, ripped guys”. In other words, the guys in his commerical “carry his luggage”.

Shitty the Clown May 5, 2010 at 6:11 pm

The ad would have been more effective if the guy on the left were black, and the guy on the right were a mime.

chascates May 5, 2010 at 6:13 pm

The old man looks like a prim pain-in-the-ass tea partier. Get the waterboard.

Mad Brahms May 5, 2010 at 6:14 pm

[re=571197]Extemporanus[/re]: I don’t think he has any idea what “ripped” means. Or maybe he does, along with “uncut”, and he just wants to cover his tracks in public.

Oldskool May 5, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Haha, late again.

Lazy Media May 5, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Good-looking, ripped guys? Uh, this dude thinks you’z trollin’.

Min2.0 May 5, 2010 at 6:15 pm

[re=571188]maven[/re]: Not nearly enough.

V572625694 May 5, 2010 at 6:16 pm

[re=571203]Shitty the Clown[/re]: Or if one of the guys had a bandolier of bullets across his chest, and the other was carrying a cartoon-style bombshell with a flaming fuse.

slappypaddy May 5, 2010 at 6:19 pm

the talking guy in the middle is the scariest one

user-of-owls May 5, 2010 at 6:20 pm

[re=571188]maven[/re]: Hey, you know how little money guys on the Division III WWA circuit make? When you get a chance to pick up a few extra bucks, you take it.

Shitty the Clown May 5, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Okay, he said “ripped”, not “rich”. Oh, I see, it’s all part of his adorable self-effacing humor.

mumblyjoe May 5, 2010 at 6:21 pm


I mean, that’s supposed to be the take-away message here, right?

user-of-owls May 5, 2010 at 6:22 pm

“Does this look like a massive oil spill poised to devastate Florida for a generation, or does this?”

jus_wonderin May 5, 2010 at 6:26 pm

He looks more likely to fit me for a pair of concrete galoches.

mush May 5, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Funny…dude on the left looks like Bruce Ivins, American anthrax terrorist.

Snarkalicious May 5, 2010 at 6:27 pm

[re=571203]Shitty the Clown[/re]: How about if the guy on the right was a mime, and the guy on the left was a mime in black-face?

Extemporanus May 5, 2010 at 6:27 pm

[re=571200]Kuda Bux[/re]: It’s only a matter of time before “Dan the Man” gets caught in a sticky “Situation”.

[re=571208]Mad Brahms[/re]: Oh, he’s ripped alright…ripped like a fart! *rimjob*

TheCoolestGuyInTown May 5, 2010 at 6:32 pm

What if the terrorists figure out that we’re only looking for tan people and use that old white guy instead?

Extemporanus May 5, 2010 at 6:32 pm

[re=571222]mumblyjoe[/re]: “It seems to me like all dem I-talians is terrorists…”

Snarkalicious May 5, 2010 at 6:32 pm

[re=571232]Extemporanus[/re]: Distressed sulfur lick FTW.

4tehlulz May 5, 2010 at 6:34 pm

To millions of chickens, Mr Fanelli, Col. Sanders indeed was a terrorist.

Aurelio May 5, 2010 at 6:36 pm

The guy on the right was hired to look like a terrorist? What kinda job is that? What does he put on his resume? “Looked like a terrorist in political ad”?

Radiotherapy May 5, 2010 at 6:36 pm

Who’s carrying the luggage?
And didn’t I see that guy on the left in the Holocaust Museum?

4tehlulz May 5, 2010 at 6:38 pm

[re=571241]Aurelio[/re]: You just summarized the resumes of most nonwhite extras in Hollywood.

Extemporanus May 5, 2010 at 6:38 pm

[re=571222]mumblyjoe[/re]: “Don’t it to yous guys?”

user-of-owls May 5, 2010 at 6:39 pm

[re=571236]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh, you laugh, eh?

user-of-owls May 5, 2010 at 6:43 pm

[re=571248]user-of-owls[/re]: Or, better yet: Does this look like a terrorist?

surfacenoise76 May 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm

It’s Florida. It’s one of those “doesn’t have to make sense” states.

El Pinche May 5, 2010 at 6:50 pm

He makes as much as sense as our nation’s bumbling oil whore.

Mr Blifil May 5, 2010 at 6:50 pm

My guess is he thought he was doing an Alzheimers PSA.

Extemporanus May 5, 2010 at 6:57 pm

[re=571248]user-of-owls[/re]: I vaguely remember going down this blood-soaked, cobble stone road with you before.

penalcolony May 5, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Most men who look like Fanelli kill themselves, not other people.

Godot May 5, 2010 at 6:59 pm

[re=571221]Shitty the Clown[/re]: I think you are confusing “effacing” with “aggrandizing”.

BlueStateLibtard May 5, 2010 at 7:08 pm

“This” looks like a bald-headed weasel white-collar criminal actually. The guy on the right looks like my Italian neighbor. The guy on the left probably has corpses of teenage prostitutes buried in his basement. JMHO of course.

SayItWithWookies May 5, 2010 at 7:09 pm

I’m so glad we live an old Batman TV episode where the bad guys all wear ridiculous costumes, their henchmen wear cute day-glo masks over their eyes, and their hideout is the top floor of an old warehouse by the docks with a tilted floor. It makes everything so much simpler than, you know, having to treat everybody equally.

Senator Bateman May 5, 2010 at 7:14 pm

This guy is a douche to the highest degree.

Neilist May 5, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Actually, the old white guy on the left looks more dangerous to me:

(1) He’s probably too hold to hold a Commercial license, because he’s likely to stroke out at the controls; and

(2) It’s well known, in aviation circles, that nothing — repeat, NOTHING — is more dangerous than a doctor at the controls of a Beechcraft.


(Well, okay, maybe John F. Kennedy, Jr. at the controls of a Piper Saratoga. But its the same basic idea, absent the brains, dedication and work ethic required to get a medical degree.)

Neilist May 5, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Make that “too old” in (1); and “it’s” in the last paragraph.

Remember: Typing Too Fact . . . KILLS!

Country Club Jihadi May 5, 2010 at 7:23 pm

Mr. Polident on the left looks like he’s terrorized some alter boys and barnyard animals. Steroid boy looks like he terrorizes the “supplement” aisle at GNC. FAIL.

Pandy May 5, 2010 at 7:24 pm

What he meant to say is “if a pasty, effeminate, man/woman with no hair and less personality blew up a building”….then he would be okay with being profiled.

Franklin Pierce & Pierce May 5, 2010 at 7:25 pm

[re=571188]maven[/re]: Oh, the dignity of being an actor.

Tim May 5, 2010 at 7:50 pm

This doughbag refers to himself as a “good-looking, ripped guy.” This idiot needs a trip back to the Republican creation vat, and this time, when he jumps into the barrel of vanilla pudding, they need to throw in some of the Governators toenails in there before they flip the switch.

Smoke Filled Roommate May 5, 2010 at 8:21 pm

A gay bodybuilder, Algebra I teacher, and Orville Redenbacher walk into a bar…

I think the punchline is “Does it to you?”.

x111e7thst May 5, 2010 at 8:38 pm

I think I beat this guy up and took his lunch money. In middle school. I’m kind of proud of this.

legalize everything May 5, 2010 at 8:45 pm

why did you take down the post about teabaggers not wanting to be called teabaggers, now with illustrated teabagging? did crazy conservative lady blogger/”pundit” who “hates” sex yell at you because we WARBLOGGED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM?!?!111

SignalHill May 5, 2010 at 8:49 pm

Shock and ewe

predilectrix May 5, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Italian terrist needs more scrotum grabbing.

RoscoePColtraine May 5, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Isn’t one of the main problems with profiling is that it opens up a huge gaping window of opportunity for the terrorists? I mean, all they have to do, really, is just find one, ONE little old purser carrying white lady to set her panty-bomb off, and that’s it. Oh, and they’ll do it, believe me. Ever heard of starving actors???

bhosp May 5, 2010 at 9:13 pm

[re=571304]legalize everything[/re]: Yeah, bring back that picture. It was epic.

Vartan84 May 5, 2010 at 9:19 pm

As someone who looks at least vaguely middle eastern, just without the angry swarthy stare, can I just say to Mr. Fanelli: F*** YOU.

Boethius May 5, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Gotta love the obligatory synthesized “Arabic string orchestra” lick on the soundtrack when the Musselman appears.

Advocatus_Diaboli May 5, 2010 at 9:26 pm

a douchebag says what?
I thought for a second that I *got* what he was trying to imply, but then I had another drink, and now I’ve got nothing but “shut the fuck up you stupid fucking fuck.”

sorry, I know – minus 10 points for originality; but in my defense, he started it.

bhosp May 5, 2010 at 9:26 pm

[re=571310]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yeah isn’t that what that one IRA guy tried to do when he put a bomb in his pregnant girlfriend’s luggage? Isn’t that why they started asking, “Did you pack your own bag?”

Joshua Norton May 5, 2010 at 9:27 pm

I think all pasty white wingnuts should be profiled for their predilection to stealing and lying.

Not to mention their obvious sexual tendencies that will usually include a bondage mistress, things that need batteries or some sort of rubber products. Find out what they claim they’re against and you’ll find out what they love to do.

MarSF May 5, 2010 at 9:47 pm

[re=571304]legalize everything[/re]: Yeah, WTF happened to the Teabagging Post? That was the best cartoon drawing I’ve seen all week!

RoscoePColtraine May 5, 2010 at 9:52 pm

[re=571321]MarSF[/re]: They prolly called one of their evil trial lawyers to issue a sternly worded threat to our editors, who, in abundance of caution, (and not wanting to put up with the bullshit) simply decided to take the road of least resistance, and pulled the thread down. I’m guessing.

Trial lawyers are evil, unless they’re working on behalf of conservatives.

coolcatdaddy May 5, 2010 at 9:53 pm

The commercial works better like this.


user-of-owls May 5, 2010 at 9:54 pm

[re=571262]Extemporanus[/re]: You and your damned memory. There are a few home remedies for that, you know.

smitallica May 5, 2010 at 10:09 pm

Yes, we should not let anyone Arab-looking on planes.

That certainly would’ve stopped Mr. Times Square from getting on that EMIRATES flight to KARACHI.

El Pinche May 5, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Where’s the Desiree-Rogers-ball-licking-Barry post? Was it the embroidered flag cum rag bit? DOnt lawyers KNOW THE CONSTITUTION AND OUR RIGHTS??

RoscoePColtraine May 5, 2010 at 10:35 pm

[re=571332]El Pinche[/re]: The blog depicting “teabagging”, which was defaced by a contingent of dirty liberals, was meant for educational purposes only. It wasn’t a playground, Pinchy.

Crank Tango May 5, 2010 at 10:40 pm

does anyone else think it is weird that they don’t want to mirandize people who already know how to talk or not talk, but they are perfectly happy to let people on watch lists buy guns and dynamite? no? not ironic, or hypocritical, or something? ok cool.

S.Luggo May 5, 2010 at 10:55 pm

[re=571327]smitallica[/re]: “Arab-looking”

– “If the people that were doing this kind of thing looked like me, even though I’m not the guy doing the terrorist thing I would want to be examined more closely,” he [Fanelli] said —

Screw the “closely” shit. Handcuff anyone who tries to leave North Jersey with orgeno on his breath. Employees of Pizza Hut, too. America must be kept safe.

El Pinche May 5, 2010 at 10:56 pm

[re=571333]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: She must have really threatened the dickens out of the
Wonkettes. I remember during the PUMA wars , we’d smear our dirty liberal poo all over that Riverdaughter website. And then get rewarded with iPhones and Chili’s gift cards.

[re=571300]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: ha !

RoscoePColtraine May 5, 2010 at 11:18 pm

Does that Ayrab terrist have a twin brother? And do they like to make ‘sandwiches’?

S.Luggo May 5, 2010 at 11:40 pm

[re=571334]Crank Tango[/re]:
Okay, here’s the point: Miranda was a Zonan citizen (albeit a sombrero totee, an enchilada-consumer, a taco-eater, a refried beaner, etc.) But he wasn’t an A-rab! Yet, as John McNuggets has observed, Constitutional rights may be limited by ethnic origin.

First, they came for the camel jockeys and I did nothing.

Crank Tango May 5, 2010 at 11:49 pm

[re=571339]S.Luggo[/re]: so this miranda lady wore a basket of fruit on her head and they don’t want the dudes with the table cloths? There is a connection there, but I just can’t put my finger on it. picnics?

dijetlo May 6, 2010 at 12:01 am

Has anybody else noticed that the quality of your garden variety Jihadi has really hit the shitter lately? Where are they finding these people? This latest Gomer, in particular, has to be a huge embarrassment to the Al Qaedda/Taliban terror industrial complex. All he managed to accomplish was a severe parking violation. Still, on balance it was probably scarier than the knucklehead who burned his ween off somewhere over Detroit. If I was Osama bin Laden, I’d be to ashamed to show my face down at the terrorist mastermind meetings.
I don’t understand why he doesn’t put an add on Craigslist for Dublin Ireland. There’s bound to be some old IRA carbombers still kicking around the pubs, he could spend a little cash, hire a professional, their shit always went off.
The entire imbroglio just leaves me wondering what possible use a bloodthirsty yet comically inept terrorist network has.

Aurelio May 6, 2010 at 12:20 am

[re=571342]dijetlo[/re]: Has anybody else noticed that the quality of your garden variety Jihadi has really hit the shitter lately?

I’ve noticed this, too. But then these guys might not be the real dudes, who may have their hands full right now in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Please, I am not endorsing that war. I am absolutely just sayin’.

SayItWithWookies May 6, 2010 at 12:33 am

[re=571335]S.Luggo[/re]: It’s so easy to tell our friends from our enemies I don’t see why we didn’t do this before. Anyone who smells funny, get in line four. Turbans in line five, guys who look like the comic book appraiser in Antiques Roadshow line three — also women who look like they might be that guy’s girlfriend — Cubans get in line two, Haitians get in line — no, just turn around and get out, sorry — Mau Maus, Baader-Meinhof members, Interahamwe and Red Brigades — you’re terrorists but you’re kitchy and harmless, so get in line three — kids from that crazy naked Nigerian army, y’all can go straight through to Oprah — oh, and white people like this guy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Timothy McVeigh, Fred Phelps, Lizzie Borden and Dick Cheney — welcome to first class, the stewardess will be by with some hot towels and a beverage shortly.

Tim May 6, 2010 at 12:54 am

[re=571342]dijetlo[/re]: comment of the week!

S.Luggo May 6, 2010 at 1:04 am

[re=571341]Crank Tango[/re]:
The [how seemingly ancient, but now how accepted in crim law] 1966 Miranda v. Arizona 5-4 ruling required a criminal suspect to be advised of the right to counsel, to the right to remain silent (the right against self-incrimination), etc. Miranda v. Arizona looks to the English Star Chamber, in which one could be convicted of treason however the evidence was got and whether you were at trial or not.

Not to worry. The Roberts’ Supreme Court will eventually relegate the need for Miranda Warnings to a historical footnote.

Until then, the Rethugs in Congress [Lieberman, Kyl, McCain], using the fear of domestic terrorism [excluding that from white militias], will try to enact the Miranda Warning restrictions.

BACK to my original point.

First, they came for the camel jockeys and I did nothing.

S.Luggo May 6, 2010 at 1:12 am

[re=571345]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “It’s so easy to tell our friends from our enemies I don’t see why we didn’t do this before. Anyone who smells funny, get in line four.”

However, this might include the French. Om second thought, never mind.

WriteyWriterton May 6, 2010 at 1:21 am

Can we make Lieberthing’s citizenship-revocation-thingy – oh, I know, it’s just totally unconstitutional, mind – apply to these woodwork-emitted wingy-moronists? Just askin’.

bakeneko May 6, 2010 at 1:30 am

“This video is no longer available due to a claim by MG Cinema”.

Waiting for the fucking BluRay Disc release, shitheads!

BarackMyWorld May 6, 2010 at 1:59 am

[re=571203]Shitty the Clown[/re]: Best. Screen name. Ever.

One Flew Over the Wingnut May 6, 2010 at 2:18 am

I’m in an irate mood today…every so often, the constant drumbeat of wingnut negativity and hatred really starts to grind on me. Yes, islamophobia and racial profiling are evil, but is that really the issue here? I think the real issue is, is this guys Mom also his Sister? Look at him…he looks like a plastic army man some little bastard (probably himself as a boy, existential nightmare!) shone a magnifying glass on, gibbering like a gimp that just bit the head off a bat. What I’m saying is, who could possibly take this idiot seriously? And how the fuck is it even possible for the GOP to retake the House? Yes, I know, the reasons are many and most of them quite worthy for why the Democrats are sort of in trouble. But seriously, people in America need to collectively splash some cold water on their faces, look in the mirror and ask themselves: are these assholes REALLY what you want? I know we’d all like to see the Democrats head left, it’s why we’re libtards (and proud of it).

But think for one moment about these Hannity/Limbaugh ejactualation abominations they have for candidates. I know if these Trogs somehow take congress, the first thing they’ll do is stop anything from passing, EVER, even if they know it’s needed, and why? Because they’ll be too afraid the collection of quasi-cromagnons they call a base will teabag them if they agree with Obama on anything. They’ll waste our time trying to impeach Obama for anything and everything, whether it’s actually illegal or only illegal in some fevered dream of Glenn Becks…reading books, exercising, being able to count to 20, and so on. Glenn Beck will be given some sort of medal…all in all, hell will have literally broken loose. I know I don’t need to worry about most of my libtards on here, I just need to vent after this weeks events. A new Scopes Monkey trial will be held all over the South, as teaching evolution will somehow become a crime again (wait until President Palin for that one). I think if we can stem the tide and trounce these Simians again, maybe they’ll all jump on the wingnut express (a broken zamboni driven by Norm Coleman’s mom) and head to Texas to secede. Then maybe we can finally give Texas back to Mexico, build a giant fence to keep all the pasty Randites on their side of the border (remember, they wanted this) and live lives of peace and quiet….one can only hope. Oh yes, and as an ultimate irony, we’ll still allow Mexicans to come in, but not wingnuts; at least they contribute something more than rants against welfare while they themselves are on welfare.

The Rural Juror May 6, 2010 at 2:22 am

All this wingnuttery just keeps cementing me in my jaded worldview of not giving a shit, sitting back and just laughing at everything. I think that’s the only way to stay sane anymore.

What Fresh Hell is This? May 6, 2010 at 3:43 am

Yeah, screw Political Correctness … or any kind of Correctness, for that matter.

zhubajie May 6, 2010 at 3:49 am

no photos of Gerry Adams or Manachem Begin?

zhubajie May 6, 2010 at 4:04 am

[re=571342]dijetlo[/re]: I’ve wondered about this, too. There must be people in the Real Continuity IRA ready to go blow up poms in Thailand in mid-winter? Esp. since they could blame it all on Thai terrorists or red-shirters or whatever.

Extemporanus May 6, 2010 at 4:25 am

[re=571304]legalize everything[/re]: TEA BLOG the LIBERAL WONKETT BEFORE IT TEA BLOGS YOU !!

Extemporanus May 6, 2010 at 4:33 am

[re=571311]bhosp[/re]: [re=571321]MarSF[/re]: [re=571332]El Pinche[/re]: [re=571333]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:


WonderWomyn May 6, 2010 at 6:49 am

They took it down!

JMP May 6, 2010 at 7:49 am

[re=571332]El Pinche[/re]: It’s really anoying; I wanted to get a chance to read that post, but by the time I’m back from work (and the bar), it’s completely vanished! What it this?

El Pinche May 6, 2010 at 8:44 am

[re=571379]JMP[/re]: Nazi Germany (Arizona), Hiel Layne!! However, our filthy comments are still their at that liberty pundit sesspool.

Looy May 6, 2010 at 8:47 am

Do these look like terrorists? (Hutaree Militia)

the problem child May 6, 2010 at 8:54 am

[re=571379]JMP[/re]: All the evidence you need is here, JMP.

It is, of course, NSFW, especially once the wonketteers got onto it.

Pandy May 6, 2010 at 9:01 am

[re=571395]Looy[/re]: They do to me. And they’re getting out of jail today.

JMP May 6, 2010 at 9:19 am

[re=571400]the problem child[/re]: Thanks – um, assuming it’s still there by the time I get back home tonight.

nonbeliever7 May 6, 2010 at 9:26 am

[re=571232]Extemporanus[/re]: Hmmm… did you mean *rimshot*? Was *rimjob* your conscious or unconscious speaking or is there even a difference?

Godot May 6, 2010 at 10:06 am

Guy on the left looks like someone who would burn down/shoot up his entire office after getting laid off and losing his retirement.

I’d rather sit on a flight next to the muscle guy. Maybe get some tips on my regimen. Like, what supplements does he recommend?

undeadgoat May 6, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Video all gone? New link anywhere?

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