Sarah Palin Finally Hits Her Stride In Gulf Response

  oh dear god

Stupid citizens of the Gulf Coast of the United States. What were you doing leasing your ‘Merkin Rigs to the backstabbing limey lobsterback royalists? They lit us on fire in 1812, and before that, it was even worse: they taxed our luxury goods. We must reject the British East India Company’s tasteless mercantilist monopoly of Oile and nuke Knifecrime Island five times tomorrow, while they are busy electing their next Protestant Queen. [Twitter via Jason Linkins/HuffPo]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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83 comments

  1. rafflesinc

    Plus she ripped off Reagan’s “trust but verify” phrase without attribution.

  2. President Beeblebrox

    Even by Palin standards, this is unintelligible. What the fuck are “remedy rights”? Is she perhaps suggesting that Gulf Coast residents and business owners should hire … trial lawyers to sue those Lobsterbacks? Egads!

  3. Hopey dont play that game

    I think Jim missed the point here. She is giving advice in one area in which she is an expert: grifting.

  4. JMP

    Yes, don’t trust the foreign oil companies; but those good old American oil companies are totally honest and benevolent. Just like Sarah.

  5. chascates

    American-owned oil companies are paragons of virtue, doing God’s Work, and saving humanity.

  6. blader

    Of course! Furrin oil company!! [bangs head]

    Why wasn’t Exxon in charge in the gulf?!?!

  7. Baldar T Flagass

    So she’s bashing the Brits now? I thought that was LaRouche territory.

  8. Okie Dokie Dog

    don’t naively trust-Verify! The first words she’s ever shrilled out or scratched out on a keyboard thingy, that make any sense.

  9. JMP

    [re=570921]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: They’re still foreigns; anyway the Brits are too socialist for Palin’s ilk, even Cameron, only a win by the overtly racist BNP would be OK with them.

  10. finette

    I think she’s referring to this, which is a few days old and now outdated. BP had the fisherpersons they hired to help with cleanup sign indemnity waivers at first, but they’ve stopped doing that and say they’ve destroyed all the waivers. As I understand it, the waivers were actually for injuries or damage incurred on the job in the cleanup process, not by the oil leak itself.

  11. WadISay

    Totally, anyone with a last name like “Valdez” should have to show his papers.

  12. V572625694

    The wisest words of St Ronnie: trust but verify. Again and again the Repubs intone this ridiculous koan as though it contained wisdom, when in fact it merely says, “Give the appearance of trusting, but do not actually do so.” In other words, be duplicitous. Sarah would have said “duplicitous” but it has too many of those syllable thingies.

  13. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    You know, when my Grandma started talking like that, we put her in a home.

  14. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So, Sarah agrees with Iran and Al Qaeda that England is the real threat.

    And, for Republicans, is racism against Europeans a step up?

  15. GoinGreen

    [re=570918]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I, too am for torte reform – I offer that they would be far more palatable if you used my marijuana butter recipe instead of that hideous unsalted french butter crap.

  16. slappypaddy

    runaway governor sarah palin (a true runaway model) is a scab on the american body politic. keep picking at it and the wound will never heal. it may even become infected, oozing pus and possibly leading to widespread systemic poisoning, such as a fatal septicemia or gangrene.

  17. iwillsavethispatient

    To ‘VERIFY’ would require a strong government agency, but as we all know, the government should not have powers to interfere in the free market. Lets just think of this as the Free Market having spoken – Louisiana should be oil-coated.

  18. progressiveinga

    [re=570940]V572625694[/re]: And perhaps this trust-y/verify-y thingy applies to jebus as well? Very confusing, also.

  19. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Don’t trust VERIFY? Sounds like Big Government talk to me. If we can’t trust oil companies to police themselves, who can we trust?

  20. GOPCrusher

    I see, when your Base is affected, Bible Spice is all for the lawsuits against corporations. Everyone else, she’s for tort reform.

  21. GOPCrusher

    And in the Spirit of American Exceptionalism, British Petroleum is a fair target for American rage. Despite the fact that they are an American owned corporation.

  22. Joanie

    Oh Jesus. As I recall, only a few weeks ago, Ms. Palin wasn’t so much trust-but-verify as she was drill-baby-drill.

    It is very convenient to be skeptical of a failed actor’s intentions AFTER the fact.

  23. slappypaddy

    [re=570940]V572625694[/re]: in texas they have a variation on that, it goes, “trust everyone, but brand your cattle.” because, doncha know, them cow critters can just go astray, you betcha. (what’s that mark on sarah’s forehead?)

  24. jetjaguar

    F* YEAH. We should only let AMERICAN companies like EXXON “drill baby drill”, their record is SPOTLESS.

  25. SayItWithWookies

    Also, Reagan didn’t coin “trust but verify” — he always said it was a Russian proverb. Of course, Palin seems to be insisting that offshore drilling shouldn’t be self-regulated — so she wants to create another bloated government bureaucracy. Horrors. At least she has two excuses: she never writes her own material, and even if she did, she wouldn’t know what she was saying.

  26. BaconTime

    Drill baby drill*

    *(except for foreign** oil companies)

    ** (foreign means they aren’t from America)

  27. sati demise

    [re=570916]chascates[/re]: thats why it took a fine upstanding USA company like Halliburton to blow up the oil rig!

  28. Snarkalicious

    [re=570998]BaconTime[/re]: That’s EXACTLY the way I feel about Lutherans.

  29. snideinplainsight

    What she really means here is that, as a private citizen, you should show up on BP’s doorstep and tell them you’re not going to buy another gallon of their gas until they share their environmental impact studies and safety plans, with you. If enough people did that, well, they’d probably have to hire extra guards for around their front doors. THAT would be the invisible hand of the market, at work.

  30. Darkness

    Verify WHAT exactly? Each citizen of the gulf coast is supposed to conduct their own separate expert investigation into whether these oil services companies can actually safely drill five miles deep? Each of them were supposed to fly their ass to Australia to personally investigate the blowout in August on a rig Haliburton was cementing there? And then keeping track of inside industry information, upon discovering that Haliburton was cementing on this rig before the previous investigation was even concluded these concerned citizens were supposed to do what, exactly? Take a dingy out and yell and shake their fists at the BP rig out in the coast, insisting they shut down, right now? Dumb bitch, is that what you are suggesting? Sounds really fucking inefficient, ineffective and stupid, but it sure as hell fits the winger republican mantra, doesn’t it?

    Note to Sarah of the Frozen Tundra Brain: This is what regulatory oversight fucking does, FOR the people. Government-hired experts with zero financial interest in the decision are supposed to be empowered prevent or limit the damage companies cause in the course of making purely financial decisions. It’s really fucking simple, really, which is why there is zero chance of you fucking understanding it.

  31. HuddledMass

    “BP Oil Spill Waivers Capped Liability Payments To Coastal Residents At $5,000″ — “Over the weekend, news emerged that BP was circulating settlement agreements among coastal residents of Alabama and possibly other states, essentially requiring that “people give up the right to sue in exchange for payment of up to $5,000,” the Alabama Press-Register reported.”

  32. iburl

    So, in Dingbatqueen’s world there are “American” oil companies… Funny, I thought that they were all multi-nationals with no special allegiance to any nation-state.

  33. Lilybart

    OMG. This “energy expert” doesn’t understand what a multi-national company is and she doesn’t know that domestic oil is sold on the open market, NOT just to Americans.

    THE ONLY WAY to end dependence on foreign oil to end dependence on OIL. We have no domestic oil that belongs to us unless Miss Wasilla would like us to Nationalize our oil business. No? What do you suggest then, energy expert?

  34. Formerly Preferred

    [re=570906]rafflesinc[/re]: That’s OK–he ripped it off from the Russians. Доверяй, но проверяй.

  35. What Fresh Hell is This?

    Last time I noticed, we were about the 7th largest oil exporting country. It IS Chinese oil being drilled by a British company. Drill bebbe drill.

  36. Berkeley Bear

    But handing $500 million to Canadian companies to explore maybe building a natural gas pipeline without any real competition – that’s just hunky dory, you betcha.

  37. comicbookguy

    Somebody tell Sarah that we can drill for oil responsibly, safely, and without harming the environment, and we don’t need government regulations telling us how to do it. She needs to start pushing that message. What? Oh, nevermind.

    [re=570987]slappypaddy[/re]: Cattle can go rogue. Lipstick. Also.

  38. GeneralLerong

    [re=571053]Darkness[/re]: Win. Thanks. Somedays I don’t know how to contain the rage that the likes of Sarah Palin get to be rich and famous. Especially rich. Screw the famous part.

    Maybe I should just go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. Yeah! It’s not like they check the bunk every hour here.

  39. imissopus

    Yes Gulf residents, don’t trust the foreign oil company that owned the rig. You know, the same company that the Snowbilly’s husband worked for for eighteen years.

  40. momus

    Sarah knows what she is talking about here. First-Husband-in-Waiting, Todd, worked for BP for nearly twenty years. He was forced to resign when his wife became Governor of Alaska. You remember her problems with “those silly ethics laws.” Todd was force to resign and since you can’t live decently on the Alaskan Governor’s salary, Sarah was also force to resign and begin her career as a grifter.

    Todd may have been an employee of the Queen early on.

  41. Jukesgrrl

    [re=570918]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “I thought she was for tort reform and keeping corprat costs down.”
    Yes, except for all the times it’s money in HER pocket. And speaking of trust but verify, the Toddster cashed paychecks from BP for HOW many years? And NOW they’re evil ferriners?

  42. rmjag

    she n todd want Alaska to secede from the USA and become a foreign country . So , ummm , they’d be foreigners . So why trust her ?

  43. steverino247

    [re=571146]GeneralLerong[/re]: Blows my fucking mind as well. I guess you have to be a sociopathic cunt to do it effectively. She’s not the first to pull this off, but she’s doing pretty good at it. I have to wonder who’s really behind it, because there’s no way she’s smart enough to think this all out on her own. All Sarah has to do is look in the camera, say what’s she’s told to say and try to look good doing it. Too bad she changed her e-mail password…

    As for hiding in bed, I work for people who would come look for me, so that wouldn’t work. Shit.

  44. slappypaddy

    [re=571192]steverino247[/re]: she’s the manchurian candidate of the commie nazi kenyan obama cabal. they activated her right before they set a match to the investment boom and took over all the banks so they could sneak into office and hijack the medical industry. blowing up the bp platform was chump change to the obamatists. they also knocked the props out from under the greek debt so they could take financial control of europe. and they’ve been known to read books with big words and no pictures. THIS IS ALL TRUE! i saw it on fox news, just now. the mainstream liberal media won’t report it.

  45. comicbookguy

    Darn those eco-terrorist saboteurs, their super-sub, and their crack squad of trained demolition dolphins!

  46. Hot_Carl

    My God… She’s right! Its in the name–> BRITISH Petroleum. And what’s this now about this oil companies composed of crustaceans??? SHELL? Sounds like eco-terror to me.

  47. PeteJayhawk v2.0

    It would be really funny (well, not really FUNNY, but you know) if the rig in question originally came from Amoco.

  48. lawrenceofthedesert

    I can see it now: swarms of teabaggers wearing neck braces on the beach, screaming “Whiplash!”

  49. Zorg

    [re=570906]rafflesinc[/re]: That’s not Reagan’s line, that is an old Russian proverb, <>, that Reagan quoted in translation to Gorbachev to show that he was all like hip-hop-happenin’ and up-to-date on the Russky side of things. Why does Mooselini hate traditional American proverbs?

  50. Zorg

    I reckon you have to get up pretty early in the mornin’ to make an original comment on a thread in this here Wonkette. Sorry to beat a dead horse, rafflesinc (if that is your real commenter name)…

  51. legalize everything

    someone tell Sarah that Exxon is not a foreign company (TX is not a sovereign nation…yet)

  52. SignalHill

    Hardy har har har. You cunty liberals always miss the subtext: what would it be like to fuck her?

  53. Neilist

    [re=571302]SignalHill[/re]: Anal? Because the other would be like driving a very small car through a very WIDE tunnel.

    Even :::harmfup::: MY “car.”

  54. BarackMyWorld

    [re=570918]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Who knew so many contradictory ideas could co-exist in a such a tiny little brain, right?

  55. Beanball

    [re=570920]Prommie[/re]: [re=570969]GOPCrusher[/re]: Deepwater Horizon, the oil rig in question, is owned by Transocean Ltd and on lease to BP Exploration. BP Exploration is a wholly-owned subsidiary of British Petroleum (BP), which in turn is 70% owned by British interests, including the Crown.

    British petroleum has a long history of being environment-unfriendly assholes. They are presently in the process of withdrawing from Alaska, as almost everything they’ve ever drilled there is now leaking like crazy.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BP

  56. Blank Frank

    lest we forget, this blood-crazed narcissistic freak show’s husband Toad was EMPLOYED by the very same British Petroleum, through her exertion of influence over oil contracts when she was the Dumbest Governor in America. Did he get the axe? Is Sarah venting because Toad gets to be a stay at home Dad now, while she has to have books ghost written for her and rant uncontrollably?
    Life’s a bitch, Sarah, and so are YOU.

  57. NYNYNY

    What’s wrong w/ BP? You’re Canadian aren’t you, you newscaster twat. With her and panama McCain and Mexico Mitt and Sri jindal, I have to wonder, what happened to our damned republicans? They became foreignz.

  58. PRTexman

    Hey, give her a break, stretching all her thoughts into 40 characters is a tough job for Mooselini.

Comments are closed.