“The pictures on the profile show a shirtless young man with delicate features, guileless eyes, and sun-kissed, hairless skin. The profile touts his ‘smooth, sweet, tight ass’ and ‘perfectly built 8 inch cock (uncut)’ and explains he is ‘sensual,’ ‘wild,’ and ‘up for anything’ — as long you ask first.” Anyway, we’ll stop planning our Tuesday evening now. Here’s a post about a major evangelical anti-gay leader going on a fuckcation with a male prostitute.

George Rekers was a co-founder of James Dobson’s Family Research Council, the Super Christian Lobbying Group of assholes who we still kind of like, because they put on the hilarious Values Voters Summit every year. This is when America’s crazy people come to D.C. to yell about fags a lot. And then they all go to their hotels and have gay homosexual anal sex with each other, which, experts believe, could be considered hypocritical.

Rekers was a driving force behind the whole gay-to-straight conversion rehab idea. And you’d think that since he basically founded this thing, he could’ve landed a stint in one of them himself.

On April 13, the “rent boy” (whom we’ll call Lucien) arrived at Miami International Airport on Iberian Airlines Flight 6123, after a ten-day, fully subsidized trip to Europe. He was soon followed out of customs by an old man with an atavistic mustache and a desperate blond comb-over, pushing an overburdened baggage cart.

That man was George Alan Rekers, of North Miami — the callboy’s client and, as it happens, one of America’s most prominent anti-gay activists. Rekers, a Baptist minister who is a leading scholar for the Christian right, left the terminal with his gay escort, looking a bit discomfited when a picture of the two was snapped with a hot-pink digital camera.

Reached by New Times before a trip to Bermuda, Rekers said he learned Lucien was a prostitute only midway through their vacation. “I had surgery,” Rekers said, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.” (Though medical problems didn’t stop him from pushing the tottering baggage cart through MIA.)

Yet Rekers wouldn’t deny he met his slender, blond escort at — which features homepage images of men in bondage and grainy videos of crotch-rubbing twinks — and Lucien confirmed it.

At the small western Miami townhome he shares with a roommate, a nervous Lucien expressed surprise when we told him that Rekers denied knowing about his line of work from the beginning. “He should’ve been able to tell you that,” he said, fidgeting and fixing his eyes on his knees. “But that’s up to him.”

And now we’ll return to posting news.

[Miami New Times]

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  • RoscoePColtraine

    The real tragedy here is that some poor, smoking hot kid, would have to be in the vicinity of a naked troll by the name of George Rekers, for money. What dedication to his craft.

  • rocktonsammy

    Luggage carrying is fine as long as no salads were tossed.

  • qwerty42

    So, this is the Merry Month of Gay? And it has just started.

  • mumblyjoe

    Huh, my copy of the Bible must be defective, because in mine, Jesus hates hypocrites a whole hell of a lot more than he hates teh gheys.

    Was there a manufacturer’s recall that I didn’t hear about?

  • comicbookguy

    Poor guy. Now he’s in a “townhome he shares with a roommate” where he will have a good cry, eat Hagen Das, and watch the Lifetime channel.

    Now who is going to carry his luggage down the Appalacian Trail?

  • An Outhouse

    Clearly he was just conducting Research for his Family Council.

  • user-of-owls

    The gay prostitute kid was just a cover for the real shenanigans: Rekers was frolicking with gay Uighurs.

  • JMP

    C’mon now, his excuse is perfectly reasonable. Who doesn’t hire professional prostitutes to help them lift packages? The last time I moved, to help I went to an online escort site and hired a big-breasted Asian hooker to help me with my bags.

  • chascates

    Luggage carrying is fine as long as no ashes were hauled.

  • RoscoePColtraine
  • user-of-owls

    And somewhere Chris Hansen quietly weeps about the big one that got away.

  • Pithaughn

    Some one needs to be keeping an eye on old Pastor “I’ll show you my purpose” Warren with a pink camera. He’s another gay bashing, bible thumping closet case, those Hawaiin shirts don’t fool me brother.

  • Snarkalicious

    At at the end of each day, he collapes, a cock sliding languidly back out of every orifice, and says: “See! Those fucking faggots have no idea what they’re doing. I hardly enjoyed a second of that septidrectional rogering, PRAISE JEBUS!”

  • SayItWithWookies

    To arrive at Lucien’s site, Rekers must have accepted’s terms of use, thereby acknowledging he was not offended by graphic sexual material. He then would have been transported to a front page covered with images of naked, tumescent men busily sodomizing each other.

    No wonder Rekers is anti-gay — all that homosexuality makes it so difficult to find a good traveling companion.

  • rafflesinc

    Hey what does “Only” in the title mean? Is this like an “Also.” sort of thing?

  • jetjaguar

    A couple months of rehab and he’ll be just fine.

  • chascates

    [re=570277]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Looks like any site for hiring domestics. Or exotics. Or something.

  • Chickensmack

    Has anyone considered that he was just trying to save this kid from his gayness? Come on, ppl. Compassion.

  • lochnessmonster

    He does look like a leathery old brown bag.

  • joezoo

    Because of course.

  • Extemporanus

    I should tell you, I’ve got baggage, too.

    I should tell you…baggage, wine, and beer.

  • F*T*S*

    But how many whore diamonds?

  • comicbookguy

    I’m no expert, but… Townhome. Roomate. Gay?

    And I am so hiring a hooker with double-D hooters and platform shoes to carry boxes for my next move.

  • Katydid

    [re=570275]JMP[/re]: The last time I moved, to help I went to an online escort site and hired a big-breasted Asian hooker to help me with my bags.

    If by bags you mean…oh, never mind.

  • comicbookguy

    [re=570284]SayItWithWookies[/re]: In his defense, he didn’t know they were sodomizing each other, he thought they were following OSHA safety rules. Lift with the legs!

  • jus_wonderin

    “…fidgeting and fixing his eyes on his knees.

    Ewww. The Preacher liked alien ghey bois?????? That is unnatural.

  • Snarkalicious

    He was going to EUROPE people. Clearly, he needed someone with him fluent in fag.


  • nappyduggs

    Gah, I bet the room copy of that Gideon bible’s version of Song of Solomon are all stuck together now.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570288]chascates[/re]: SORRY! I KNOW IT SHOULD HAVE SAID NSFW!!! Really, apologies to anyone who I offended.

  • I Heart Accuracy

    Oh Icarus, etc…

  • slappypaddy

    trufact: every adult male human has a perfectly built 8-inch cock (uncut). you can ask any of them and they will all tell you the same. it’s one of god’s several miracles.

  • chascates

    His web site has a host of help for those with gender identity disorders:

  • Barrelhse

    [re=570275]JMP[/re]: I’m into Matures. Bummer. They don’t handle luggage.

  • Oldskool

    These guys are no longer news. Wake us whenever one is hetro.

  • would you kindly?

    “…looking a bit discomfited when a picture of the two was snapped with a hot-pink digital camera.”

    I feel like there’s some hidden meaning in this sentence, though I’m not quite sure what it is.

  • chascates

    [re=570302]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Anyone offended by something posted here (someone from a southern state for example) shouldn’t spend there time here. And nothing beats the vile garbage Shorts used to post on his somewhat-defunct blog.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=570284]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The writer of this article really is quite special. Something tells me that if more newspapers featured reporters who were as adept at sodomizing tumescent text as Anus Nin here, I wouldn’t be about to wipe my ass with a stack of ’em I stole for just such an emergency.

  • taylormattd

    I just don’t even know what to say about that photo, other than “gross”.

  • sowbelly

    Vacationing with a rentboy is MUCH safer than going on your own, getting plastered in some dive and having local jokers shove an eel up your ass – I can tell you that for a fact.

  • geminisunmars

    [re=570277]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I thought “Muscular Latino” from Manhattan looked suitable for some heavy lifting.

  • jus_wonderin

    [re=570308]would you kindly?[/re]: I picked up on “discomfited” and “digital”. Not sure why.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    One of the more amusing aspects to the story is that the article specifically mocks Reker’s comb-over. At least to me.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Welcome the month of Gay.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=570302]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: The Miami New Times posted it without an NSFW twice, FWIW.

  • JMP

    [re=570294]comicbookguy[/re]: Sadly, it looks like “townhome he shares with a roommate” line was referring to the rentboy, not the preacher himself; so no obviousness right there.

    And papers, they’re still rowhouses, even if they’re in the suburbs or an expensive neighborhood. Just because white people like to use euphemisms like “townhome” or “pre-owned car” doesn’t mean you have to go along with them.

  • taylormattd

    [re=570314]geminisunmars[/re]: I can’t wait to look at this site when I get home.

  • Limeylizzie

    I dreamily thought that was a description of Ken Layne, until I saw the quotation about “having to ask first” .

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570321]PsycGirl[/re]: Thanks, PsycGirl. Yes, but I linked you guys straight through to the “products” page. I’ll try to remember and give a warning in the future. Some of you might have bosses, and such.

  • JMP

    [re=570297]Katydid[/re]: There was nothing dirty about it; but after stuffing things in the box, I just needed help dealing with my large package!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=570317]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: If you thought that was funny, wait until you get to the part where they describe his “two-bit taint toupée”.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=570284]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=570310]Extemporanus[/re]: I smell a Pulitzer!

    [re=570317]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yep. That and the priceless “atavistic moustache.” You get the feeling the article authors were alternately giggling and looking up various descriptors to keep from directly calling Rekers a washed-up old queen.

  • Pithaughn

    Lucien has regional escort of the year locked up. Rentboy’s owners should buy him a “hat”.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Roundtrip airfare between Miami and Ibiza: $1,030
    One week at Hotel Gran Sol, breakfast included: $650
    Dining, drinking, and discoing nightly at Ibiza’s finest clubs: $4,000
    Sex with founder of Family Research Council: Not worth it

  • JMP

    [re=570326]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Luckily, the NSFW nature of a website called should be self-evident to most people.

  • Joe the Plumber

    This is just too funny.

    “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

  • Tommmcatt


    Right? Delicate features, guileless eyes, and sun-kissed, hairless skin… ’smooth, sweet, tight ass’ and ‘perfectly built 8 inch cock (uncut). In other words, every Saturday night into Sunday morning for me in my late twenties. But I have the decency nowadays not to try and rub my aging parts up against some poor kid working his way through college, and for this guy, who professes to “love the sinner but hate the sin” to be doing that well into his nineties just grosses me out. So I’d have to say, morally speaking, that as an out Gay man I might just have the moral high ground on this issue.

    Boys are for boys…well, some boys anyway. Old fundie perverts should leave them alone.

  • Neilist

    Isn’t this kind of thing nowadays the equivalent of the proverbial “Dog Bites Man” story, i.e., too commonplace to be newsworthy?

    Let’s see something out-of-the-ordinary next time, e.g., stories about Catholic priests or conservative legislators who AREN’T cocksuckers or butt pirates or pedophiles or whatever.

    “Happiness is a warm ‘gun,’ Mama!”

  • Canuck13652

    Hi says he was doing it just to teach the guy about how having the gay makes Jesus angry and is bad. Totally efficient way to spread your message: one rent boy at a time, for a week, in Europe. Only.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=570331]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Yeah, he got to go on a really cool vacay, but he had to fuck Martin Mull every night.

  • sati demise

    [re=570277]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: he was, however, very surprised when the rent ‘boy’ was white. But, then he figured times are hard all over…

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=570331]Jukesgrrl[/re]: That was downright actuarial, miss.

  • gurukalehuru

    O.K., then, why wasn’t he carrying the luggage, eh?

  • jus_wonderin

    How much money does it take to decide to sleep with the Crypt Keeper?

    I gotta say the last time something that hideous was crawling all over me I…well, that a story for another day.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570336]Tommmcatt[/re]: Yes, and if you take the money and the free trip to Europe out of the equation, you just KNOW they’d be dating. So we can add exploitation to the wretched creepiness that is Dr. George Reker.

  • Autochthon

    [re=570336]Tommmcatt[/re]: Hear, hear! Well said, sir!

  • Autochthon

    [re=570347]gurukalehuru[/re]: I was wondering that myself, actually…

  • ella

    The real question is what does Rekers think of today’s Tony nominations?

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=570270]qwerty42[/re]: WIN!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    What a pussy….George Rekers can only handle 8″? I’m just saying…

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=570292]Extemporanus[/re]: Per Stan Smith and the CIA you just outed yourself.

    On the other hand – I read that and immediately think 3 things:

    1. Rosario Dawson is smoking hot

    2. Five hundred twenty-five thousand
    Six hundred minutes

    3. Rosario Dawson is smoking hot

    All of which means the CIA knows nothing about how to spot homos.

  • waitforsugar

    When the fuck did Liz upgrade her Barbie Polaroid to a hot pink digital?

  • CharlesRevere

    Rekers has a MySpace page where he states his mood is “blessed”.

    That has a link to his web site called “Teen Sex Today”.

    I think he needs to update the title to “Teen Sex for 10 Days”.

  • stew

    Glad I’m not the only one who insists my baggage handlers have 8 inch cocks–see, nothing gay here!

  • jus_wonderin

    [re=570363]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: We must cut him a bit of slack. This might have been his fist time.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    I hates them all.

  • Al Keiderman

    Q: What is the smallest hotel in the world (if you happen to be a queer male)?

    A: An anus. You have to leave your bags outside.

  • coolcatdaddy

    “I had surgery,” Rekers said, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.”

    Must’ve been a heavy load…

  • Darkness

    Somewhere, the last married and apparently straight Baptist minister is wondering why his wife is so uninspiring while admiring the pool boy’s short shorts.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=570331]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Maybe he talked Martin Mull into wearing one of those white people masks popular in Arizona. God knows it couldn’t make things worse.

  • OzoneTom

    Luggage? Is that what they call what he was carrying inside of his ’smooth, sweet, tight ass’?

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=570379]coolcatdaddy[/re]: ‘Napsack’, also.

  • OzoneTom

    [re=570384]PsycGirl[/re]: That would be for research on another sequel to “The History of White People in America”?

  • Rusty Shackleford

    Sure, he paid for the trip to Europe, but I bet he gives away the mustache rides for free!

  • happyrock

    Makes me wonder about how many t-girls are “”carrying baggage” for the right. Maybe it explains the wives. When will Charlie Christ’s submit to a dna test?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=570275]JMP[/re]: I don’t know hiring someone to haul luggage, but I’d certainly hire this one to help lift my barn-pole, wink wink nudge nudge…

  • Rotundo

    [re=570329]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I have to admit a bit of ignorance regarding the term “atavistic”. In context it appeared to mean “encrusted with dried Santorum”, but a quick check of an online dictionary lead me to the more bland reality. I was amused in either case.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=570321]PsycGirl[/re]: “NSFW twice, FWIW.”

    I’m an oldster. What the fuck are you kids talking about now? Here in the Dust Bowl, the gay-haters are everywhere. If I bought one of those pink cameras, would it help me spot their gay liaisons?

  • Radiotherapy

    I guess he tried, (you know to help him with his lugging).
    Now it’s “cured”

  • Bearbloke

    Has anyone added “lift my luggage” to the Urban Dictionary yet?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=570396]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I’ve been told that the gheyest place in ‘Merika is the Habanna Inn in OK-homo City – have you ever been there?

  • drpangloss

    Guys like Reker are definately bottoms. Probably likes guys to spit and piss in his mouth too.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    every adult male human has a perfectly built 8-inch cock (uncut)

    The advantage of being a rabbit is that a one-inch cock is considered impressive.

    That’s just a random thought, nothing to do with me, of course.

  • arewethereyet

    [re=570275]JMP[/re]: Hey i’m moving very soon and need some help, two men and and a truck sound so boring when i can use a big breasted hooker….number please.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=570366]Berkeley Bear[/re]: I’ll have you know that I’ve “rent boy’d” to Miss Dawson at least five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred times, and I’ve got the Rosario palms to prove it!

    Also…Stan Smith is gay?! I knew there was a reason why I preferred Chuck Taylors.

  • Yellow Cake

    Something about his picture makes me think he knows every Sondheim musical by heart.

  • Joshua Norton

    How come EVERY skeevy closet case loser looks like that? Geez. Bad toup, bags under their eyes and 70’s porn star mustache. Just kind of screams “date bait”. Don’t it?

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=570395]Rotundo[/re]: Well, it could be that he wears it to harken back to his (frothy) Salad Days.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Does it take brilliant journalistic research to take one look at Professor Rekers and not know his, uh, preferences? His prissy qualities would declare themselves even in one of Liz’s faded Polaroids.

  • proudgrampa

    “every adult male human has a perfectly built 8-inch cock (uncut)”

    Unless he’s Jewish?

  • Shitty the Clown

    Okay, I checked out his website, “”, which contains this nugget of information, pasted right from the site. Among his many degrees, Dr. Rekers received his “Doctor of Theology (Th.D.) degree from the Faculty of Theology and Religious Studies of the University of South Africa.”

    Is that a typo? Pre- or post-Apartheid?

    By the way, there seems to be some scrambling about on his website right now. The “about” link is dead. Other links may die soon, until the site is nothing more than a collection of ads to sell worthless books.

  • Shitty the Clown

    Of course, I should have said “during or after Apartheid?”
    The clown isn’t perfect.

  • Radiotherapy

    [re=570399]Bearbloke[/re]: When you look on the Urban Dicks’n’hairy, see if Gaytriot, Guileless Teabagging, Hairless Samsonite, and the “Cure” is on there yet.

  • Bowdoin

    [re=570271]mumblyjoe[/re]: Yes, the Crucifixion and Resurrection can be considered a Manufacturer’s Recall.

  • Abou Diaby

    I feel bad for Lucien. I bet he’s covered in preparation H, grecian formula and god knows what other powder or ointment this old perv uses.

  • brown_recluse

    It’s like a Gus van Sant movie come to life.

  • Tommmcatt


    Oh my god, how precious! They have an early-ninties style Gay gift Shop called “Jungle Red”. JUNGLE RED!

  • stinky mcstinkface

    Man, I’m having trouble keeping up with the gay sex terms – although “carried his luggage’ seems pretty straightforward.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=570423]Abou Diaby[/re]: But also covered in money, and with any luck, soon fame as well. Though I’d have to agree that may not quit even the scales.

    I’m ambivalent about Lucien’s decision not to out him further and provide details. On the one hand, it’s a fine moral standing to take, and I respect that he refuses to say any more than he has to to confirm basic facts the papers already know; but on the other, this guy is suck a cockgasket he really dose deserve to be outed and ruined as payback for all the shame and guilt he’s probably instilled into other men’s lives with his worthless “rehab” camps.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    “He said he’d be a cockeyed coyote, before he’d herd an old beast like me….[sobs] back to the coast!”

    Thank you for giving me the slightest, slimmest, weakest chance to use that quote.

  • Tommmcatt


    They have no idea what we are talking about.

    It’s hilarious, trust us.

  • Clankie

    Yeah, so, after some logical deduction and browsing through the profiles in the miami section on I can now say with an almost 100% that this was the rent boy in question:

    Yeah, that’s probably NSFW. I’d have to say, I’d hit it.

  • BobTheBuilder

    OK, I know we’re supposed to post funny stuff, but…

    This Reker guy has testified repeatedly as an EXPERT against gays having the right to adopt?

    And now it turns out that in addition to “lifting luggage” with this young male prostitute, Reker has himself ADOPTED A 16-YEAR-OLD BOY?

    Wow, what a cocksucking douchebag.

  • the problem child

    [re=570430]Mad Brahms[/re]: I’d say it’s a business decision. Can’t get the reputation for outing clients.

  • BobTheBuilder

    I’ll just bet Reker SOUNDS like James Mason, too.

  • Veritas78

    My hunch is that he won’t get fired, won’t even be scorned by his wingnut supporters, and will become even more vitriolic in hating teh gays. It’s a smear campaign by the left, and “Professor George” will raise even more $$ this cuming year.

  • Darkness

    Self hatred is a many splendored and destructive thing. And it always seems to be wearing a ‘stache, too.

  • Veritas78

    …although, if the lad is Puerto Rican, the whole “illegal” thing is now in play. It’s not murky, like if he was from New Mexico.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570461]Veritas78[/re]: I think Ricans are eligible for U.S. passports. But it would explain the whole 8 inches part of the story. In my limited experience to speak on the matter.

  • Marlowe

    From Camelot:

    It’s May! It’s May!
    The lusty month of May!
    That lovely month when ev’ryone goes
    Blissfully astray.
    It’s here! It’s here!
    That shocking time of year
    When tons of wicked little thoughts
    Merrily appear!
    It’s May! It’s May!
    That gorgeous holiday
    When ev’ry maiden prays that her lad
    Will be a cad!
    It’s mad! It’s gay!
    A libelous display!
    Those dreary vows that ev’ryone takes,
    Ev’ryone breaks.
    Ev’ryone makes divine mistakes
    The lusty month of May!

    It’s May, It’s May,
    the lusty month of May
    That darling month when everyone throws
    self-control away
    It’s time to do
    a wretched thing or two
    And try to make each precious day
    one you’ll always rue

    It’s May, it’s May,
    the month of “Yes, you may”
    The time for every frivolous whim, proper or im-
    It’s wild, it’s gay,
    depraved in every way
    The birds and bees with all
    of their vast amorous past
    Gaze at the human race aghast
    The Lusty Month of May

    It’s May, it’s May, the lusty Month of May
    That lovely month when everyone goes
    blissfully astray
    it’s here, it’s here,
    that shocking time of year
    When tons of wicked little thoughts
    merrily appear

    It’s May, it’s May,
    the month of great dismay
    when all the world is brimming with fun,
    wholesome or un-
    It’s mad, it’s gay,
    alive a lust display
    Those dreary vows that everyone takes,
    everyone breaks
    Everyone makes divine mistakes
    The Lusty Month of May

  • Potater

    [re=570336]Tommmcatt[/re]: Twinks of the world thank you.

  • euforia

    Puertoricans are U.S. citizens, obviously they are eligible for U.S. passports.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=570440]Clankie[/re]: I’d definitely hit it, and I’m not teh Ghey. At least Doktor George has good taste in twinks.

  • Potater

    Why are these closet cases never caught with rough ‘n tumble daddy types? They always go for the sun-kissed twinks whose Sashay Shante gives them away from the moon. I’m not one to criticize for tastes in man-company, but C’MON MARY.

  • doloras

    [re=570366]Berkeley Bear[/re]: I swear that cur is now in doggie hell.

  • Autochthon

    [re=570437]Tommmcatt[/re]: Oh, some of us do. Oh, l’amour, l’amour, how it can let you down. Hmm. How it can pick you up again…

  • PsycGirl

    [re=570396]DustBowlBlues[/re]: NSFW=Not Safe For Work (although you should probably assume any link on Wonkette is NSFW unless specified otherwise). FWIW=for what it’s worth. I have no idea what the gay guys are talking about.

  • rsynnott

    [re=570418]Shitty the Clown[/re]: Well, he might just be REALLY old. Apartheid as we know it only got going shortly after WW2.

  • rsynnott

    I must say, I really did enjoy the writing style of the Miami article. Something tells me that the author is at home, wearing a silk dressing-gown, with his cat on his lap, drinking a ridiculous cocktail.

  • Clankie

    Also, it is not just that Reker needed him to carry his luggage. With a surgery like that, he needed help with the slightest things. When they were done with drinks at the bar, the boy even had to push his stool in for him.

  • BeWoot

    Rekers: Must. Pray. Harder.

  • Clankie

    rsynott: It’s like the editor went to their gay staff reporter and said, “Happy Birthday! We caught a conservative christian anti-gay zealot with a male whore. Just have some fun with that.” Not exactly Pulitzer winning journalism, but it was sure fun for me to read.

  • Country Club Jihadi

    Maybe he just needed another dude to see what a dick crucifix would look like.

  • CivicHoliday

    His bags are very heavy. They have sagged with age.

  • Pat Pending

    Atavistic mustache rides, 5 bucks…

  • BerkeleyFarm

    [re=570474]Potater[/re]: I dunno, I thought that Haggard’s boy-toy had the daddy nature. But you’re mostly right, IMO. Probably some form of “it’s not really gay if you pitch”.

    Prof George, there, does start my ‘dar a-whoopin’. Classic seventies Tales-of-the-City.

  • Canuck13652

    [re=570440]Clankie[/re]: That’s not him–no talking about his built 8 inch cock . . .

    Ew, skinny long haired twinks. Ew.

  • Clankie

    Canuck: that is him, it’s been confirmed. And if he took the part about his 8 inch cock being uncut down, it was there when I was looking around. Yeah, it’s still there.

  • Potater

    [re=570504]BerkeleyFarm[/re]: I’m working from a socialistic library ‘puter while my own is in the shop. I did not look at I’ve been kicked out of many places, and proudly so from the nicer ones, but being kicked out of a library would be a shame not even I could withstand.

  • Potater

    [re=570509]Potater[/re]: Don’t quote people when you’re not talking to them, cocktease.

  • Mahousu

    It seems this story is now officially beyond parody. Here is the latest update: Rekers is just following Jesus: Like John the Baptist and Jesus, I have a loving Christian ministry to homosexuals and prostitutes … If you talk with my travel assistant that the story called “Lucien,” you will find I spent a great deal of time sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse …

    I am sure he is correct, that there was much sharing, a lot of back-and-forth, the occasional in-and-out …

  • AlexisHidell

    “Luggage Lifting” is the new “Wide Stance”!

  • Blender

    Today, we are all shirtless young men. With tight asses. And perfect 8″ cocks. Uncut.


  • kudzu

    I love it every time yet another one of these fuckers gets exposed for their hypocrisy. Christian conservatives are scum; some for being like this dude; others for being so evil that they will follow anyone who tells them they should hate other people. Fuck’em.

  • superconducting supercollider

    Lucien, Lucien, Lucien, Lucien, you. should. know.

    (Steve Biko instrumental)

  • Dolmance

    I went to the Focus on the Family site so I could write them a hate filled diatribe super obscene about their hypocrisy. But they’ve scoured the guy’s name off the entire site. He’s gone. Pfft. Never existed.

    Thank you, Wonkette, for helping to nurture my hate.

  • Mr Blifil

    Guess he’s not gonna be able to put off that stint at Shit Wrigglers Anonymous any longer…

  • Words

    [re=570396]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I’m sure someone has filled you in, in which case please pay no mind.. NSFW — not safe for work FWIW — for what it’s worth… Ref.: Urban Dictionary.

    Um oh damn, I bet you were just speaking sarcasticly?

    Great, now I’m a twit.

    Ken, Can You Do Something @ Getting a Sarcastic font implemented here???? We need that tool!!!

  • Words

    [re=570423]Abou Diaby[/re]: Actually, PAM is the aerosol of choice (or at least it was when Arnold S. was in the body-building thingy). His very first film was made in my home town — “Stay Hungry” and altho I was a little too young to be in on the festitivites, I have it on Very Good Advice and in The First Person that PAM is Primo…. also requires repainting your bedroom if you “accidently” bounce off the wall from the bed (note: NOT MY Words– my informant’s words– and she is Very Reliable) She did have to repaint the bedroom (it was an eggplant color), but her report, after several jousts, was “Damn, Maria oughta wake up EVERY morning with a smile on her face!”

  • obfuscator

    has anyone else here gotten past the humorous novelty quality of these stories and just moved straight ahead to pure unadulterated disgust at the hypocrisy? fuck these fucking self-hating assholes.

  • Dolmance

    [re=570546]obfuscator[/re]: We laugh because it’s so much less painful than throwing up.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Some of my favorite American Association of Closeted Homosexuals Radio Shows from past years include:

    When the Gay Converter Ministry guy, who was already gay converted himself, had walked by a gay bar and accidentally fell inside, therefore making him no longer fit to convert gays in Dobson’s organization. The guy wasn’t on the show in person, but his “wife” was. She appeared slightly gullible, and quite hopeful her man would be straightened out.

    When Dobson’s radio co-host had been caught fucking somebody else’s wife (and fired) they devoted a show to saying, for nearly half an hour, “bad co-host!, bad co-host!.” This probably worked because I’ve not heard of any more co-hosts having this problem.

    This recent episode should be worth a double show, two days in a row. Whoever writes the scripts is a genius. Also, the guy who plays Dobson is amazing. Sometimes I think Dr. James could be a real person.

  • PineyWoodster

    Professor Closet Queen has a blog where you can leave comments:

  • obfuscator

    [re=570549]Dolmance[/re]: i could almost look past the closet case self-loathing if these vile fuckbuckets weren’t so bent on subjecting other people to their own hateful insanity.


    I find the implications and insinuations in this story very offensive. Everyone has a profile, it’s social networking.

  • AddHomonym

    …an old man with an atavistic mustache and a desperate blond comb-over…”

    There is enough snark there to keep Denby in a state of rage for about 72 hours, at least.

  • AddHomonym

    [re=570465]Marlowe[/re]: Or, perhaps more simply, “C’est moi!”

  • a_pink_poodle

    Oh nononono you guys at Wonkette got it all wrong as usual! The young man didn’t check for poisonous snakes in his underwear and got a nasty snake bite on his penis! If it wasn’t for Mr Rekers quick thinking on sucking the poison out, that man would be dead by now! I’ve never seen white venom before but it turns out that the young man needs this poison regularly sucked out.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    Somebody Rekers of assplay!!

  • Starrigavan

    Family Research Council’s theme song must be “We are family… All my sisters and me…”

  • Zorg

    George “Rectum” Rekers? Now I understand his sacral tattoo, the one in an old fashioned, Currier & Ives script that goes “Gash may be fine, but one eye for mine.” But, seriously, he’s not old! Anybody who can afford to pay for a rent boy for TEN FULL DAYS, plus airfare, hotel fees, restaurant meals and shopping trips to Abercrombie & Fitch or Prada is not old! Ask any rent boy or girl. Plus, the nutty-but-lovable professor was probably doing research, maybe for PBS’s Frontline, for a companion piece to last week’s story about “bacha bazi,” seeing if the practice was spreading from Mazar-e Sharif and Lashkar Gah to Madrid and London. Yeah, that’s it!

  • zhubajie

    [re=570337]Neilist[/re]: No, I say we can’t have too many stories about fundamentalist hyprocrites and the politicians who love them!

  • Tim

    “… followed out of customs by an old man with an atavistic mustache and a desperate blond comb-over, pushing an overburdened baggage cart.”

    So his helper wasn’t even handling the luggage, then?

  • Dolmance

    When bashing gays, these so called religious people should recall the words of our Savior, “For thou art PETER, and upon this ROCK I shall place my THRONE… Ugh, ugh, ugh…”

  • Baldar T Flagass

    As Crazy Larry (Jason Flemyng) said in that fine piece of cinema “Layer Cake:”

    “Fucking females is for poofs.”

  • PlanetWingnuta

    [re=570275]JMP[/re]: you mean your yambag dont you? LOL

  • austintxx

    [re=570399]Bearbloke[/re]: Goes the same place as “I have a wide stance”
    and “hike the Appalachian trail.”…….under “sanctimonious Rethugs”.

  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    “Neither Google nor any other search engine picks up individual profiles, any more than they pick up individual profiles on eHarmony or You cannot just happen upon one.”

    And that why this is so awesome.

  • Tim

    [re=570553]PineyWoodster[/re]: He deleted my comment already!

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=570523]AlexisHidell[/re]: And “Luggage Lifter” the new Wonkette handle-of-the-day.

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=570370]CharlesRevere[/re]: I think he needs to update it to “Rough Sex for 5 to 10 years.”

  • lizzieborden

    [re=570474]Potater[/re]: Simple, he’s on vacation. Normally he’s hitting the old ones that are in rehab, silly. You drink wine/beer at home and daquari’s and martini’s on vacation.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Just wondering: was this all paid for by his non-profit? There ought to be a law!

  • AKAM80TheWolf

    I guess the month of Gay will have to hold me over until my girthmonth Cocktober arrives.

  • Hoplight

    [re=570628]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: And better yet, all those monies the noobs gave him counted as Charity, as in “Conservatives give more to Charity than Liberals.” Just like the Charity to the Christian Coalition paid for setting up indian gambling, and Charity to Haggard paid for trailer park blow. Boy, why don’t Liberals give more to Charity? Hmmmmmm . . .

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=570546]obfuscator[/re]: Sorry I’m still finding it a mother lode/load of comedic Santorum.

  • AuntieLola

    It doesn’t pass the Republican purity test if there are no furries.

  • libwakman

    Carried his luggage.
    Tossed his salad.

    Hammered his nail.
    Washed his laundry.
    Fried his sausage.
    Peeled his banana.

    It is sooo much fun to own a little gayboy slave whom you did not realize was gay even when you woke up & found yourself washing his organ.

  • K.C.

    Focus on the Fellatio; or, The George Rekers Story

    Here’s to that faggoty prof!
    Those rent boys is how he gets off.
    With his so gross mustache
    His critics, he’ll lash!
    “I’ll hold these, now would you please cough?”

  • NopantsMcGee

    Shut down Wonkette. Shut down the whole internets. There simply is no better story than this one.
    The end. Time for the earth to implode.

  • thefrontpage

    George Rekers is the new Larry Craig.

  • thefrontpage

    This is the funniest story in weeks!

    Rekers is an idiot.

  • foulmouthed mrscreant

    [re=570482]PsycGirl[/re]: I thought NSFW’s meaning officially changed to “not safe for walrus”.

  • nantucketnectars

    This rentboy probably has no idea who Rekers is so he’s taking the hush money for now. Once he realizes he’s a hypocrital asshole, he’s is going to out the guy…assuming he has better morals than Rekers himself. Then Rekers will suddenly claim he knew it was a gay site all along-OMG!, but was doing some “missionary” work trying to persuade poor rentboy to go back living the straight life so he can feel the blinding love of Jesus.

  • Mac W Cheese

    Could this be The Jesus Secret?

  • Tommmcatt


    Good lord. Like there isn’t a way to indicate sarcasm already!

  • PsycGirl

    [re=570567]a_pink_poodle[/re]: I’ve never seen white venom before but it turns out that the young man needs this poison regularly sucked out.

    No doubt for the same reason that Mr. Rekers needs his prostate regularly examined.

  • guerilla-nation

    Apparently, Rekers was just WWJDing.

    According to a report on a Spanish-language site, Reders said: “Mi héroe es Jesucristo, que ama hasta el pueblo culturalmente despreciado, incluyendo los pecadores sexuales y prostitutas. Al igual que Jesucristo, yo deliberadamente paso tiempo con los pecadores con el objetivo amoroso de tratar de ayudarles “.

    Which roughly translates as: “My hero is Jesus Christ, who loves all the culturally despised, even prostitutes and perverts. Just like Jesus, I deliberately spend time with sinners to lovingly try and help them.”

    I would make a funny comment, but it kinda makes itself.

  • Words

    [re=570812]Tommmcatt[/re]: No I want Blingee and bells and fireworks to accompany my sarcasm!! I like visuals.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=570553]PineyWoodster[/re]: Har.

    A recent article in an alternative newspaper cleverly gave false impressions of inappropriate behavior because of its misleading innuendo, incorrectly implying that Professor George Rekers used the Rentboy website to hire a prostitute to accompany him on a recent trip. Contrary to Internet stories based on this slanderous article, following medical advice Professor George Rekers requires an assistant to lift his luggage in his travels because of an ongoing condition following surgery. His family, local friends, and even another university professor colleague have offered to accompany him on trips to lift luggage. Professor Rekers was not involved in any illegal or sexual behavior with his travel assistant.

  • Ford Escort Geo Metrosexual

    It seems someone has taken the hooker ad off of the Rentboys site.

    But from this review of his work at a different site we at least know there was no spit swapping going on:

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=571191]President Beeblebrox[/re]: HAHAHA. This absolutely deserves a YOU LIE! With a cherry-filled cock-ring on top. Also.

  • Beachdreamer

    [re=570331]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Hotel is more like $650.00 per nite !!!!

  • llibra

    How is Rekers pronounced? Wreckers or Reekers?

  • zhubajie

    [re=570337]Neilist[/re]: Every time and place, people like to be shocked about certain things and not others. Pedophilia and hypocritical religious are ours. Probably we are blind to things that would have shocked our grandparents or will shock our grandchildren. (In turn, they may not care about pedophilia any more than Augustus did.)

  • Can O Whoopass

    He could’ve hired one of those Schwarzenegger looking ‘lady-men’ who hang out at Reagan-National Airport.

  • eekahil

    NARTH?! Huzzah for the new coinage.

    Lucien(on phone) :…Hey Honey! What? Oh I’m fine – I just got back from a Fcukation in Spain with that dirty old NARTH..”

    Rekers is a board member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), an organization that systematically attempts to turn gay people straight.

  • Pooperazzi

    This is what happens when the rubber of gay hits the road of religious fundamentalism in the same human body. To save his soul from hell, the poor fucker has to wage war against himself; the only way he can do it is to attack other gay men because his poor little mind can’t come to terms with itself. Probably the story with every single religious fundamentalist in the same boat. If they ever admit they are gay, they will spend eternity in hell.

    Fuck ’em.

  • Jazzman

    This would be so much awesomely better if I had ever heard of this guy, and I live just up the road from their strange and scary neighborhood. Hopefully as his life now spins out of control he tells us all about Dobson’s basement torture chambers and legions of virginal acolytes that whip his feet with fettucine every night while whispering “George Bush really does love you” in his ear. Or was that just that crazy dream I had last night after the bad mushrooms?

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