rumors on the internets

Fox News Smells A Stinky Oil Conspiracy

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  • Matt Yglesias is reaping the many benefits of “blogging whilst standing” — a yoga position championed by Donald Rumsfeld. [Matt Yglesias]
  • A squadron of Eliot Ness Zombies raided a bar in Philly and confiscated a bunch of microbrew IPAs and a keg of Miller Genuine Draft Light 64. [Hit & Run]
  • Does a Grey Poupon elitist like Barack Obama even know about Tennessee, or rain for that matter? Apparently not, ugh. [RedState]
  • Fox News has a sneaking suspicion that the recent and terrible oil spill was caused by a CIA-sponsored controlled demolition. [Think Progress]
  • Hugo Chavez is training a mighty militia to kill all the evil gringos, and can we really blame him? No, of course we can’t, because whitey absolutely deserves it. [Weekly Standard]

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Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • sati demise

    So, if FOX can promote an unfounded and absurd conspiracy theory about Earth First! or The Nature Conservancy and the corporate caused oil volcano,

    MSNBC really fell down on the job during 9/11. Liberal media? teh suck.

  • doxastic

    I am standing at my desk while typing this right now. It feels very meta.

    (Seriously, I recently converted for marathon writing this summer, and so far so good. It sort of bothers my dog though).

  • JMP

    Good job, Reason, picking up on a local story that happened almost two months people! People have been pissed at the LCB for these busts (although there’s always many good reasons to be pissed at them), and the state legislature is now talking about investigations and reform that are never going to actually happen.

    Ah, Fox. It’s good to see that while insane liberal conspiracy theories are largely rightly ignored, the insane right-wing conspiracy theories have their own network. And Dana Perino shows her stupidity again, saying she’s not going to introduce a conspiracy theory right before introducing a conspiracy theory.

    RedState should remember that the floods are in Nashville; unlike New Orleans we’d probably all be better off without that city.

    It’s good for the Standard to warn us about Chavez’ new forces; how dare he train up an army, as if he was the leader of a sovereign nation or something.

  • El Pinche

    FoxNews should just break down and hire Alex Jones as a contributor. They’re getting nuttier by the day.

  • Beowoof

    Maybe it was the same CIA black ops team that took out the WTC and the Pentagon.

  • FMA

    The CIA? Really? I thought I saw where Rick Perry said it was “an act of God.” A really pissed off God who apparently hates shrimp.

  • charlesdegoal

    Actually, it’s obvious that Hugo Chavez caused the explosion/oil spill as Venezuela is stands to gain immensely from decreased production in the US and a ban on off-shore drilling. Why can’t the reactionaries at least get simple factoids right?

  • chascates

    Is Obama now the announcer of all the nation’s ills?

    Is Hugo working as a nanny now?

  • Beowoof

    Floods in Nashville, who are country singers going to put the boot in the ass of for this shit.

  • coolcatdaddy

    All that water in Nashville? No big deal – it’s all natural and will just wash away.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570207]FMA[/re]: Or those unspeakable, abominable acts of “drill baby drill” those roughnecks were committing. You know how the LORD hates that, and visits his almighty wrath on such depravity. Rick Perry is right. It was like a gay pr0n flick on that rig.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570220]coolcatdaddy[/re]: +1 for irony.

  • slappypaddy

    what fox news is smelling has a lot to do with where its head is.

  • jus_wonderin

    How sick is Rush Limbaugh?


    Ugh, Obama and his socialist CIA cronies, tampering in the free market yet again.

    Let the market decide which sea turtles should live. The ones that can’t live in an oil spill weren’t strong enough to survive anyway.

  • Shaggypixel

    Chavez vs. Arizona cage match…LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBUUUUULE!!!!

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Altough I was leaning towards the belief that Aliens (unidentified underwater objects) were responsible for the leak, a CIA operation makes a lot of sense. Probably this was carried out by trained dolphins.

    Also, you have to wonder – there was a second person running away from Time Square. Obama? With no legal documentation, he would easily fit right in and no chance of be uncovered. Any Kenyan taxi drivers seen in the immediate area? Probably.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=570225]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Gay pr0n? Hey mate – were they doing a remake of Louisiana Tool & Die on that rig?

  • Prommie

    [re=570207]FMA[/re]: God hates treyf, its well known.

  • sati demise

    Word is; Halliburton is involved, but you did not get that from me, no sir.

  • Oldskool

    I think Fox is doing the public a service, like 24/7 aversion-therapy. If they weren’t so horrible day in and day out, more people might take them seriously.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=570207]FMA[/re]: Shrimp are bad, but it’s those blaspheming turtles that really get God’s panties in a twist. Bloody shelled heretics.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Of course the oil rig was a detonation — there’s nothing easier than sneaking up on a solitary structure surrounded by miles of flat ocean, climbing aboard and setting off a bomb. Those 130 or so workers would never notice a stranger in their midst, either — those things are like Times Square. Or maybe the ELF has a submarine. That can withstand the pressure at 5,000 feet below sea level. Really, if you believe tax cuts create revenue or the Iraq war was a good idea even now, this isn’t much of a stretch.

  • comicbookguy

    Redstater says “heckuva job” FTW.

  • lochnessmonster

    Glad to see the Ness family still out there fightin’ crime!

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=570253]Bearbloke[/re]: Moustaches, sweaty bodies, barebacking and everything! They even used oil based butt lube.

  • SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    Yes, Dana, in order to prevent oil from destroying coastal habitat, we’ve unleashed millions of gallons of oil that will destroy coastal habitat.

  • sati demise

    [re=570318]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: oh snap…….:-(

  • GOPCrusher

    [re=570202]El Pinche[/re]: Did you see the pictures of the flames? That wasn’t a oil fire, it was thermite infused paint!!!!!!! OH NOES!!!!!!!111!!

  • steverino247

    [re=570318]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: No shit. The utter stupidity of these statements never cease to amaze me. And wonder where I went wrong that I’m not making that much money bullshitting crackers for a living.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=570264]SayItWithWookies[/re]: As I said – CIA Trained Dolphins…

  • carlgt1

    how long before the right-wing blogosphere & media empires start blaming “liberal ecoterrorists” for it all….

  • WadISay

    I for one can symphathize with Redstate; my toilet backed up a couple of weeks ago and that fucker Obama still hasn’t called.

  • trondant

    [re=570362]WadISay[/re]: Why didn’t you call Joe the Plunger?

  • Birdcrash

    Joe Lieberman wants to deport the “Times Square Bomber”, who is a naturalized American citizen. Great idea, Joe! Let’s also deport naturalized American citizen and media terrorist Rupert Murdoch, whose attacks on American society don’t always fizzle.

  • momus

    Halliburton is a CIA front organization? WOW that explains a lot!

    Maybe this and the weather is all the wrath of Allah.

  • Blender

    Ha ha ha HAAAAA – and this [Perino] is the cunt Obama appointed to the Broadcasting Board of Governors? Or was that just another Rahm-inpired hoax designed to piss off the liberal base?


  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    4-20 was an inside job.

  • DP

    Proves what they say about Pennsylvania. It’s Philly and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.
    The only state with more vile and pathetic, ass-holish state cops is NJ…