RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:22 pm May 4, 2010

Fox News Smells A Stinky Oil Conspiracy

by Riley Waggaman

  • Matt Yglesias is reaping the many benefits of “blogging whilst standing” — a yoga position championed by Donald Rumsfeld. [Matt Yglesias]
  • A squadron of Eliot Ness Zombies raided a bar in Philly and confiscated a bunch of microbrew IPAs and a keg of Miller Genuine Draft Light 64. [Hit & Run]
  • Does a Grey Poupon elitist like Barack Obama even know about Tennessee, or rain for that matter? Apparently not, ugh. [RedState]
  • Fox News has a sneaking suspicion that the recent and terrible oil spill was caused by a CIA-sponsored controlled demolition. [Think Progress]
  • Hugo Chavez is training a mighty militia to kill all the evil gringos, and can we really blame him? No, of course we can’t, because whitey absolutely deserves it. [Weekly Standard]
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Hola wonkerados.

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sati demise May 4, 2010 at 4:26 pm

So, if FOX can promote an unfounded and absurd conspiracy theory about Earth First! or The Nature Conservancy and the corporate caused oil volcano,

MSNBC really fell down on the job during 9/11. Liberal media? teh suck.

doxastic May 4, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I am standing at my desk while typing this right now. It feels very meta.

(Seriously, I recently converted for marathon writing this summer, and so far so good. It sort of bothers my dog though).

JMP May 4, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Good job, Reason, picking up on a local story that happened almost two months people! People have been pissed at the LCB for these busts (although there’s always many good reasons to be pissed at them), and the state legislature is now talking about investigations and reform that are never going to actually happen.

Ah, Fox. It’s good to see that while insane liberal conspiracy theories are largely rightly ignored, the insane right-wing conspiracy theories have their own network. And Dana Perino shows her stupidity again, saying she’s not going to introduce a conspiracy theory right before introducing a conspiracy theory.

RedState should remember that the floods are in Nashville; unlike New Orleans we’d probably all be better off without that city.

It’s good for the Standard to warn us about Chavez’ new forces; how dare he train up an army, as if he was the leader of a sovereign nation or something.

El Pinche May 4, 2010 at 4:38 pm

FoxNews should just break down and hire Alex Jones as a contributor. They’re getting nuttier by the day.

Beowoof May 4, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Maybe it was the same CIA black ops team that took out the WTC and the Pentagon.

FMA May 4, 2010 at 4:39 pm

The CIA? Really? I thought I saw where Rick Perry said it was “an act of God.” A really pissed off God who apparently hates shrimp.

charlesdegoal May 4, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Actually, it’s obvious that Hugo Chavez caused the explosion/oil spill as Venezuela is stands to gain immensely from decreased production in the US and a ban on off-shore drilling. Why can’t the reactionaries at least get simple factoids right?

chascates May 4, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Is Obama now the announcer of all the nation’s ills?

Is Hugo working as a nanny now?

Beowoof May 4, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Floods in Nashville, who are country singers going to put the boot in the ass of for this shit.

coolcatdaddy May 4, 2010 at 4:45 pm

All that water in Nashville? No big deal – it’s all natural and will just wash away.

RoscoePColtraine May 4, 2010 at 4:47 pm

[re=570207]FMA[/re]: Or those unspeakable, abominable acts of “drill baby drill” those roughnecks were committing. You know how the LORD hates that, and visits his almighty wrath on such depravity. Rick Perry is right. It was like a gay pr0n flick on that rig.

RoscoePColtraine May 4, 2010 at 4:51 pm

[re=570220]coolcatdaddy[/re]: +1 for irony.

slappypaddy May 4, 2010 at 4:55 pm

what fox news is smelling has a lot to do with where its head is.

jus_wonderin May 4, 2010 at 5:01 pm

How sick is Rush Limbaugh?

WELCOME THRILLHO May 4, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Ugh, Obama and his socialist CIA cronies, tampering in the free market yet again.

Let the market decide which sea turtles should live. The ones that can’t live in an oil spill weren’t strong enough to survive anyway.

Shaggypixel May 4, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Chavez vs. Arizona cage match…LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBUUUUULE!!!!

Johnny Zhivago May 4, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Altough I was leaning towards the belief that Aliens (unidentified underwater objects) were responsible for the leak, a CIA operation makes a lot of sense. Probably this was carried out by trained dolphins.

Also, you have to wonder – there was a second person running away from Time Square. Obama? With no legal documentation, he would easily fit right in and no chance of be uncovered. Any Kenyan taxi drivers seen in the immediate area? Probably.

Bearbloke May 4, 2010 at 5:06 pm

[re=570225]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Gay pr0n? Hey mate – were they doing a remake of Louisiana Tool & Die on that rig?

Prommie May 4, 2010 at 5:07 pm

[re=570207]FMA[/re]: God hates treyf, its well known.

sati demise May 4, 2010 at 5:08 pm

Word is; Halliburton is involved, but you did not get that from me, no sir.

Oldskool May 4, 2010 at 5:10 pm

I think Fox is doing the public a service, like 24/7 aversion-therapy. If they weren’t so horrible day in and day out, more people might take them seriously.

user-of-owls May 4, 2010 at 5:12 pm

[re=570207]FMA[/re]: Shrimp are bad, but it’s those blaspheming turtles that really get God’s panties in a twist. Bloody shelled heretics.

SayItWithWookies May 4, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Of course the oil rig was a detonation — there’s nothing easier than sneaking up on a solitary structure surrounded by miles of flat ocean, climbing aboard and setting off a bomb. Those 130 or so workers would never notice a stranger in their midst, either — those things are like Times Square. Or maybe the ELF has a submarine. That can withstand the pressure at 5,000 feet below sea level. Really, if you believe tax cuts create revenue or the Iraq war was a good idea even now, this isn’t much of a stretch.

comicbookguy May 4, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Redstater says “heckuva job” FTW.

lochnessmonster May 4, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Glad to see the Ness family still out there fightin’ crime!

RoscoePColtraine May 4, 2010 at 5:27 pm

[re=570253]Bearbloke[/re]: Moustaches, sweaty bodies, barebacking and everything! They even used oil based butt lube.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla May 4, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Yes, Dana, in order to prevent oil from destroying coastal habitat, we’ve unleashed millions of gallons of oil that will destroy coastal habitat.

sati demise May 4, 2010 at 5:53 pm

[re=570318]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: oh snap…….:-(

GOPCrusher May 4, 2010 at 5:55 pm

[re=570202]El Pinche[/re]: Did you see the pictures of the flames? That wasn’t a oil fire, it was thermite infused paint!!!!!!! OH NOES!!!!!!!111!!

steverino247 May 4, 2010 at 6:00 pm

[re=570318]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: No shit. The utter stupidity of these statements never cease to amaze me. And wonder where I went wrong that I’m not making that much money bullshitting crackers for a living.

Johnny Zhivago May 4, 2010 at 6:02 pm

[re=570264]SayItWithWookies[/re]: As I said – CIA Trained Dolphins…

carlgt1 May 4, 2010 at 6:05 pm

how long before the right-wing blogosphere & media empires start blaming “liberal ecoterrorists” for it all….

WadISay May 4, 2010 at 6:08 pm

I for one can symphathize with Redstate; my toilet backed up a couple of weeks ago and that fucker Obama still hasn’t called.

trondant May 4, 2010 at 6:29 pm

[re=570362]WadISay[/re]: Why didn’t you call Joe the Plunger?

Birdcrash May 4, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Joe Lieberman wants to deport the “Times Square Bomber”, who is a naturalized American citizen. Great idea, Joe! Let’s also deport naturalized American citizen and media terrorist Rupert Murdoch, whose attacks on American society don’t always fizzle.

momus May 4, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Halliburton is a CIA front organization? WOW that explains a lot!

Maybe this and the weather is all the wrath of Allah.

Blender May 4, 2010 at 11:17 pm

Ha ha ha HAAAAA – and this [Perino] is the cunt Obama appointed to the Broadcasting Board of Governors? Or was that just another Rahm-inpired hoax designed to piss off the liberal base?


Anonymous Office Zombie May 4, 2010 at 11:28 pm

4-20 was an inside job.

DP May 5, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Proves what they say about Pennsylvania. It’s Philly and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.
The only state with more vile and pathetic, ass-holish state cops is NJ…

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