USS TARDIS  4:22 pm May 3, 2010

Hillary Clinton Is President of Outer Space

by Ken Layne

'We must defeat the Cylon Menace.'
Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??

Anyway, then Hillary took her Diplomatic Shuttle down from the Battlestar Galactica, as proven by this CSPAN video capture technology, which Steve Jobs has outlawed on the Power Mac, the end. [New York/Washington Post]

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Hola wonkerados.

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chascates May 3, 2010 at 4:24 pm

One world government, you betcha’!

evan7257 May 3, 2010 at 4:24 pm

I just hope she concluded her speech with: END TRANSMISSION!
Or at least a rousing “so say we all.”

Autochthon May 3, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Novus Ordo Seclorum, indeed…

Vulpes82 May 3, 2010 at 4:28 pm

I love how, despite your attempts to hide with encyclopedic knowledge of Cohen lyrics and luxuriant facial hair, deep down you’re really just a big old Nerd, Ken.

chaste everywhere May 3, 2010 at 4:28 pm

All that space travel be makin’ her cuter.

rambone May 3, 2010 at 4:31 pm

How does this affect the Palin, Obama, Clinton pecking order? Does Secretary of State of Earth outrank a two-month-quitter-governor of Alaska?

JMP May 3, 2010 at 4:34 pm

[re=569288]rambone[/re]: According to Time magazine, being a quitter at least makes one more influential.

GOPCrusher May 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm

All your base, are belong to us!

SayItWithWookies May 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I’m glad all the women are dressing like they’re in “Buck Rogers” — it takes the attention off us males, who still manage to look like extras from “The Honeymooners.”

snideinplainsight May 3, 2010 at 4:41 pm


I Heart Accuracy May 3, 2010 at 4:42 pm

The USS Acronym, srsly.

comicbookguy May 3, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Greetings, my fellow Earthicans.

EM2004 May 3, 2010 at 4:46 pm

That’s her real eye on her left shoulder.

TGY May 3, 2010 at 4:47 pm

When does she get sent on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan?

Way Cool Larry May 3, 2010 at 4:49 pm

“earth” looks photoshopped– better check the kerning!

Bearbloke May 3, 2010 at 4:50 pm

It’s Hilary’s world, we just live here….

snideinplainsight May 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm

“…by your command!”

One Yield Regular May 3, 2010 at 4:56 pm

[re=569275]evan7257[/re]: That, or “Klaatu. Barata. Nicto.”

Hot_Carl May 3, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Sharkey May 3, 2010 at 5:11 pm

Looks like one of her eyebrows got singed off during reentry.

Johnny Zhivago May 3, 2010 at 5:12 pm

[re=569326]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Agree, I call B.S. on this one!

Johnny Zhivago May 3, 2010 at 5:15 pm

[re=569326]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Unless you have a Chyron at home, you shouldn’t even ATTEMPT this type of joke…

Johnny Zhivago May 3, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Is she wearing a spacepantsuit?

Bearbloke May 3, 2010 at 5:19 pm

Hillary auditioned for the role of ‘Ana’ for the new V, but was rejected for “looking a bit too ‘lizardy’”…

Mahousu May 3, 2010 at 5:22 pm

That is one sweet silver spacesuit, but how long can she last with her helmet off? It’s clear that the high levels of sulfur oxides in the atmosphere of Aldebaran IV are already causing her to choke.

GOPCrusher May 3, 2010 at 5:24 pm

Hillary announces that the Defense of Earth has now been placed in the trust of the Skynet Defense System.

snideinplainsight May 3, 2010 at 5:27 pm

… and recent reports have come in identifying a system of rings around Uranus, Senator!

President Beeblebrox May 3, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Wow, Laura Roslin’s not lookin’ too hot these days. I heard a rumor she has teh Cancer, and is also having religious hallucinations.

ArugulaTeleprompterz May 3, 2010 at 5:29 pm

[re=569375]Mahousu[/re]: The space helmet was totally mushing her hair. She’s willing to risk sulfur oxide poisoning if it means she can look FABULOUS!

Bruno May 3, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Ehh, ears not enough vulcan

sezme May 3, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Earth? Let’s see that birth certificate!

petrostroika May 3, 2010 at 5:47 pm

She wouldn’t take a shuttle from Galactica it would be from Colonial One. Don’t you libs fact-check ANYTHING?????

gurukalehuru May 3, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Actually, I believe that is Stephen Hawking’s position.

jus_wonderin May 3, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Are we sure that is really Hillary? BTW: I gave her money during her campaign and now I hear from ole Bill every other day. Does that make us buddies??

imissopus May 3, 2010 at 6:32 pm

[re=569275]evan7257[/re]: Or “We are of peace. Always.” C’mon, BSG is so 2008.

Neilist May 3, 2010 at 7:40 pm

“We are the Borg. Prepare to join our collective . . . .”

[Man. That Borg Queen is a BITOCH.]

Can O Whoopass May 3, 2010 at 7:48 pm

Her moon pearls grew larger during electroshock in Gitmo.

JMP May 3, 2010 at 8:10 pm

If only you could hear yourselves. ‘Human rights’. Why the very name is racist. The Federation is no more than a Homo-sapians-only club.

Aurelio May 4, 2010 at 12:03 am

[re=569489]JMP[/re]: No lizards. I draw the line at mammals.

Geogre May 4, 2010 at 6:28 am

Actually, I’ve heard the excerpts, and the analogy you seek is that scene you all forgot from “Star Wars: Phantom Menace” — or whatever the first one with the little kid in it who would grow up to be the teenager who would become the young adult … who could not act. Remember it now: Lucas decided that we all needed a scene, a scene about ten minutes long, in the galactic Senate. The impressive looking creatures zoomed up and down on their space Rascals, and they said things, and they cited precedent, and none of it had any purpose, because the plot was just being stalled by this obnoxious scene.

Hillary spoke, and Tiny Persian spoke, and the people nodded, and la force frappe multiplies.

NaderPaulKucinichGravelMcKinney May 4, 2010 at 9:19 am

hillary the blond condoleezza

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