uss tardis

Hillary Clinton Is President of Outer Space

'We must defeat the Cylon Menace.'
Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??

Anyway, then Hillary took her Diplomatic Shuttle down from the Battlestar Galactica, as proven by this CSPAN video capture technology, which Steve Jobs has outlawed on the Power Mac, the end. [New York/Washington Post]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • chascates

    One world government, you betcha’!

  • evan7257

    I just hope she concluded her speech with: END TRANSMISSION!
    Or at least a rousing “so say we all.”

  • Autochthon

    Novus Ordo Seclorum, indeed…

  • Vulpes82

    I love how, despite your attempts to hide with encyclopedic knowledge of Cohen lyrics and luxuriant facial hair, deep down you’re really just a big old Nerd, Ken.

  • chaste everywhere

    All that space travel be makin’ her cuter.

  • rambone

    How does this affect the Palin, Obama, Clinton pecking order? Does Secretary of State of Earth outrank a two-month-quitter-governor of Alaska?

  • JMP

    [re=569288]rambone[/re]: According to Time magazine, being a quitter at least makes one more influential.

  • GOPCrusher

    All your base, are belong to us!

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m glad all the women are dressing like they’re in “Buck Rogers” — it takes the attention off us males, who still manage to look like extras from “The Honeymooners.”

  • snideinplainsight

    bi-dee-bi-dee-bi-dee

  • I Heart Accuracy

    The USS Acronym, srsly.

  • comicbookguy

    Greetings, my fellow Earthicans.

  • EM2004

    That’s her real eye on her left shoulder.

  • TGY

    When does she get sent on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan?

  • Way Cool Larry

    “earth” looks photoshopped– better check the kerning!

  • Bearbloke

    It’s Hilary’s world, we just live here….

  • snideinplainsight

    “…by your command!”

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=569275]evan7257[/re]: That, or “Klaatu. Barata. Nicto.”

  • Hot_Carl
  • Sharkey

    Looks like one of her eyebrows got singed off during reentry.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=569326]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Agree, I call B.S. on this one!

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=569326]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Unless you have a Chyron at home, you shouldn’t even ATTEMPT this type of joke…

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Is she wearing a spacepantsuit?

  • Bearbloke

    Hillary auditioned for the role of ‘Ana’ for the new V, but was rejected for “looking a bit too ‘lizardy'”…

  • Mahousu

    That is one sweet silver spacesuit, but how long can she last with her helmet off? It’s clear that the high levels of sulfur oxides in the atmosphere of Aldebaran IV are already causing her to choke.

  • GOPCrusher

    Hillary announces that the Defense of Earth has now been placed in the trust of the Skynet Defense System.

  • snideinplainsight

    … and recent reports have come in identifying a system of rings around Uranus, Senator!

  • President Beeblebrox

    Wow, Laura Roslin’s not lookin’ too hot these days. I heard a rumor she has teh Cancer, and is also having religious hallucinations.

  • ArugulaTeleprompterz

    [re=569375]Mahousu[/re]: The space helmet was totally mushing her hair. She’s willing to risk sulfur oxide poisoning if it means she can look FABULOUS!

  • Bruno

    Ehh, ears not enough vulcan

  • sezme

    Earth? Let’s see that birth certificate!

  • petrostroika

    She wouldn’t take a shuttle from Galactica it would be from Colonial One. Don’t you libs fact-check ANYTHING?????

  • gurukalehuru

    Actually, I believe that is Stephen Hawking’s position.

  • jus_wonderin

    Are we sure that is really Hillary? BTW: I gave her money during her campaign and now I hear from ole Bill every other day. Does that make us buddies??

  • imissopus

    [re=569275]evan7257[/re]: Or “We are of peace. Always.” C’mon, BSG is so 2008.

  • Neilist

    “We are the Borg. Prepare to join our collective . . . .”

    [Man. That Borg Queen is a BITOCH.]

  • Can O Whoopass

    Her moon pearls grew larger during electroshock in Gitmo.

  • JMP

    If only you could hear yourselves. ‘Human rights’. Why the very name is racist. The Federation is no more than a Homo-sapians-only club.

  • Aurelio

    [re=569489]JMP[/re]: No lizards. I draw the line at mammals.

  • Geogre

    Actually, I’ve heard the excerpts, and the analogy you seek is that scene you all forgot from “Star Wars: Phantom Menace” — or whatever the first one with the little kid in it who would grow up to be the teenager who would become the young adult … who could not act. Remember it now: Lucas decided that we all needed a scene, a scene about ten minutes long, in the galactic Senate. The impressive looking creatures zoomed up and down on their space Rascals, and they said things, and they cited precedent, and none of it had any purpose, because the plot was just being stalled by this obnoxious scene.

    Hillary spoke, and Tiny Persian spoke, and the people nodded, and la force frappe multiplies.

  • NaderPaulKucinichGravelMcKinney

    hillary the blond condoleezza