uss tardis

Hillary Clinton Is President of Outer Space

'We must defeat the Cylon Menace.'
Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??

Anyway, then Hillary took her Diplomatic Shuttle down from the Battlestar Galactica, as proven by this CSPAN video capture technology, which Steve Jobs has outlawed on the Power Mac, the end. [New York/Washington Post]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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  1. evan7257

    I just hope she concluded her speech with: END TRANSMISSION!
    Or at least a rousing “so say we all.”

  2. Vulpes82

    I love how, despite your attempts to hide with encyclopedic knowledge of Cohen lyrics and luxuriant facial hair, deep down you’re really just a big old Nerd, Ken.

  3. rambone

    How does this affect the Palin, Obama, Clinton pecking order? Does Secretary of State of Earth outrank a two-month-quitter-governor of Alaska?

  4. JMP

    [re=569288]rambone[/re]: According to Time magazine, being a quitter at least makes one more influential.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    I’m glad all the women are dressing like they’re in “Buck Rogers” — it takes the attention off us males, who still manage to look like extras from “The Honeymooners.”

  6. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=569326]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Unless you have a Chyron at home, you shouldn’t even ATTEMPT this type of joke…

  7. Mahousu

    That is one sweet silver spacesuit, but how long can she last with her helmet off? It’s clear that the high levels of sulfur oxides in the atmosphere of Aldebaran IV are already causing her to choke.

  8. GOPCrusher

    Hillary announces that the Defense of Earth has now been placed in the trust of the Skynet Defense System.

  9. snideinplainsight

    … and recent reports have come in identifying a system of rings around Uranus, Senator!

  10. President Beeblebrox

    Wow, Laura Roslin’s not lookin’ too hot these days. I heard a rumor she has teh Cancer, and is also having religious hallucinations.

  11. ArugulaTeleprompterz

    [re=569375]Mahousu[/re]: The space helmet was totally mushing her hair. She’s willing to risk sulfur oxide poisoning if it means she can look FABULOUS!

  12. petrostroika

    She wouldn’t take a shuttle from Galactica it would be from Colonial One. Don’t you libs fact-check ANYTHING?????

  13. jus_wonderin

    Are we sure that is really Hillary? BTW: I gave her money during her campaign and now I hear from ole Bill every other day. Does that make us buddies??

  14. imissopus

    [re=569275]evan7257[/re]: Or “We are of peace. Always.” C’mon, BSG is so 2008.

  15. Neilist

    “We are the Borg. Prepare to join our collective . . . .”

    [Man. That Borg Queen is a BITOCH.]

  16. JMP

    If only you could hear yourselves. ‘Human rights’. Why the very name is racist. The Federation is no more than a Homo-sapians-only club.

  17. Geogre

    Actually, I’ve heard the excerpts, and the analogy you seek is that scene you all forgot from “Star Wars: Phantom Menace” — or whatever the first one with the little kid in it who would grow up to be the teenager who would become the young adult … who could not act. Remember it now: Lucas decided that we all needed a scene, a scene about ten minutes long, in the galactic Senate. The impressive looking creatures zoomed up and down on their space Rascals, and they said things, and they cited precedent, and none of it had any purpose, because the plot was just being stalled by this obnoxious scene.

    Hillary spoke, and Tiny Persian spoke, and the people nodded, and la force frappe multiplies.

Comments are closed.