James Dobson, the strange old Jeebus coot from the 1900s, is apparently still alive and still weighing in on political races that have nothing to do with him and about which he is ill-informed. Consider the current Kentucky GOP Senate primary, where FREEDOM SPAWN Doctor Rand Paul is on the verge of upsetting Mitch McConnell’s hand-picked candidate, Trey Grayson, a generic establishment robot who loves war and death, everywhere. Grayson got Dick Cheney’s endorsement, which is considered awesome in Kentucky. And until very recently, Grayson also had James Dobson’s endorsement, locking up the Fundies. But then idiot James Dobson realized he had no idea what he was talking about, and he still doesn’t, but he’s switching his endorsement to Rand Paul anyway.
Apparently it takes months of investigation and consultation for James Dobson to determine whether a candidate is pro-life or pro-choice, which is usually one of the first three or four things a candidate explicitly makes clear in official campaign literature. Also, Rand Paul is obviously pro-life, THIS IS A KENTUCKY GOP PRIMARY, JESUS.
BOWLING GREEN, Ky.–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Dr. James Dobson has changed his endorsement in the Republican primary for United States Senate in Kentucky. Below is the text of Dr. James Dobson’s endorsement of Dr. Rand Paul in the race for U.S. Senate.
Dr. James Dobson: “Have you ever made an embarrassing mistake? I did just that last week. I was given misleading information about the candidacy of Dr. Rand Paul, who is running in the Republican Primary for the U.S. Senate. Senior members of the GOP told me Dr. Paul is pro-choice and that he opposes many conservative perspectives, so I endorsed his opponent.
“But now I’ve received further information from OB/GYN’s in Kentucky whom I trust, and from interviewing the candidate himself.
“I now know that he is avidly pro life. He believes that life begins at conception.
“He opposes earmarking and supports Israel. He identifies with the Tea Party movement and believes in home schooling. Sounds like my kind of man.”
(Since when did “home schooling” become a firm Fundie requirement? Must have something to do with opposing socialism, which Jesus hates.)
Anyway. The Paultards are probably correct in applying their one explanation for everything to this situation: THE ESTABLISHMENT IS TRYING TO DESTROY RAND PAUL! Pretty much, right? He does not love bombing everyone as much as he ought to. So Dick Cheney or Bill Kristol or whoever must have recently given Dobson a call and said “You would love this Trey Grayson! YOU WOULD HATE RAND PAUL. Rand Paul hates the opposite of whatever you like. Also! Jerusalem! Must remain out of Muslim hands for the Rapture! And Rand Paul is Muslim, oh noes! Goodbye, James.”
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“He opposes earmarking and supports Israel”
So he opposes spending money but supports sending money?
“TV easier to spell than BOOK”
- David Letterman book of top ten lists
Sounds like my kind of man.
Dobson’s also the guy who said that the best way that dads can keep their sons from catching teh ghey is to…SHOWER WITH THEM! Obvs!
“…the boy’s father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son’s maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger. “
Actually, he thought he was supporting Ru Paul
Dobson = moran
[re=569285]evan7257[/re]: Supports Israel… in the biblical sense. Badabing!
Dobson just wants a ride in that blimp.
A few years ago I heard that narcissistic little cocksucker declare on television, with this silly, pedobear smile on his face, “I want to be in your children’s lives.” Meanwhile, he tells his followers that they need to make their kids submit to corporal punishment.
The thought of my kid, or anyone’s kid spending time with that spanking obsessed little pervert is about as welcome as their going camping with the Catholic church. No fucking thanks. This guy needs to be wearing an ankle bracelet.
Zombie Scotty, no!!
Oh wait…James Dobson. Whew!
The next time I have a disagreement with people, I will just tell them “You know, I hate the opposite of whatever you like.” Then, as they are scratching their heads and trying to wrap their minds around what I just said, I will make my getaway.
I have to believe that it’s only a matter of time before the Mullah Dobson’s name is mentioned in the same sentence as “meth” and “gay prostitute”.
The home-schooling-for-all ideal: self-perpetuating retardation.
Home schooling’s a fundie requirement because because they oppose children being exposed to facts in public school; it’s also a Randroid requirement because public education is socialism and must be stopped (yes, many of them actually want to eliminate public schools).
[re=569285]evan7257[/re]: “Supports Israel” is code for “supports the end of the world that we believe is coming out of a misinterpretation of some random old allegorical writings by long-dead people which have no actual relevance to the modern world.”
[re=569293]Dave J.[/re]: Jeez, all this time I thought Dobson was a Protestant.
Actually, life doesn’t begin at conception, dumbass. It begins with asexual reproduction in the human gonads which creates the haploid egg and sperm in the female and male respectively. Also, it’s human life, since even with only 50% of the genetic material that you and I have, it’ll still never turn into anything but a human. So if you’re gonna be pro-life, dumbass, you’ve got to agree that menstruation in females and masturbation in males is murder. Cut-and-dried. Hell, even reproduction is murder for males, as only one among the millions of sperm cells the body manufactures survive successful sexual reproduction. Just so you know, dumbass.
I don’t know. When I seen that Dobson has described someone as “avidly prolife” I get a kind of Twilight blood sucking image.
But does Dobson know that Rand might well be named after a Jewess??!
[re=569293]Dave J.[/re]: Then how does he explain the masculine homosexual(one can assume he’s putting all the homosexuals in one bag – Effeminate)…the one who enjoys and plays sports. Is everything a stereotypical Heterosexual male is except he loves the buttseks. No trucknutz please though. O
Love Won Out… or Love One Out, or… whatever. Just Focus a little more, Dobson.
When Christ said that his disciples should sell everything they had to follow him, he totally lost James Dobson’s Tea-Party endorsement
I hear Satan is pro-life.
[re=569293]Dave J.[/re]: “He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard.” So Dobson supports teaching children pegging?
Florida: The Pornshine State!
Awesome. Via Sunshine State News, a video of Florida State Senator Mike Bennett (R), enjoying some porn on the Senate floor (of course, on a state-issued computer).
oh man i’m going to so incredibly psyched when this idiot dies
[re=569314]SayItWithWookies[/re]: But then, while Dobson says he is pro-life, he also supports and encourages child abuse. Maybe he would be OK with abortions done for “discipline”?
Do they all actually say “pro-choice?”
I never say “pro-life” (can barely type it without throwing up).
I don’t say anything but “anti-abortion.”
[re=569293]Dave J.[/re]: What if the dad’s penis is smaller? I wish Mr. Dobson would explain what happens then. (Somehow, I’m imagining he has first-hand experience with this.)
[re=569319]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: fundies think that homosexual men are girly-men. And what they really need to experience is a leather-bedecked guy giving to ‘em, to help straighten them out (so to speak)
Hasn’t he been caught with a dead girl/live boy yet?
[re=569341]PortlandSmartAss[/re]: uh…i would like one of those LOL.
And yeah with fundies its the drag queen and effeminate men scale to Leather daddy/slave at folsom. There’s no inbetween cause *gasp* there are gay men in the military, teachers, neighbors, kids, my husband, wife, Etc. Also.
[re=569343]DemmeFatale[/re]: i wonder why he hasnt been caught doing anything yet. I mean Jimmy Swaggart has been caught at least 3x.
So the OB/GYNs practiced their love on him?
[re=569319]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: Oh, I’ve thought about Trucknutz once or twice as a bizarrely quaint Yank idea – but then banished the thought once a saw a pair of rubber bollocks swinging on the Ute before me last arvo – Gah! This Americanisation has gone too far – strewth!
As for ReThug primary elections – should those be settled via a monster truck rally or something?
[re=569334]Barrett808[/re]: Those females looked troublingly underage. Pedobear returns…
And WTF was it with the dog-shaking-himself video?
[re=569346]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: If there were a gay man in my wife, I think they would both have some explaining to do.
[re=569336]JMP[/re]: Well the LORD definitely encourages child murder — when one of the prophets (Isaiah maybe?) was taunted by a group of children calling him “baldy,” he prayed for vengeance and God sent two bears out of the woods who ate them. And these weren’t even Amalekite children who were good as dead anyway — these were legitimate Hebrew kids. Horrific overcompensation, like charity, begins at home.
[re=569334]Barrett808[/re]: Are those Scott Brown’s daughters?
Sadly, since we now know it’s OK to have hookers force you to wear diapers and stay in the US Senate, as long as you’re a Republican, this shouldn’t mean much.
[re=569302]Dolmance[/re]: I’m doing this crossword, and the clue for 26 accross is “4 word phrase for James Dobson’s sanctuary,” but “Kiddie Charnal House Mastrabatorium” doesn’t fit… I’m pretty sure they misprinted this one.
[re=569314]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Not that this creep is reading here, but another huge flaw in his theory when life begins: up to 50% of all conceptions spontaneously fail. So either his precious little god murders souls with capricious abandon or Dobson is a dumbass.
Dobson: “1 in 3 U.S. adults has me. I have no symptoms. But I can have serious consequences. [I can haz serious consequences?] Who am I?”
The best part of home skooling is that is subjugates the womenfolk. At least that’s what Ayn Rand would feel, I think. At least that or the rapin’ stuff
[re=569358]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh yeah, I forgot that one; so god is OK with retroactive abortion, at least when the kids are annoying. He also commanded the Hebrews to kill disobedient children, so that’s pretty consistent; Dobson’s going to soft by only telling parents to beat the kids.
Then there was the whole thing where god commanded a follower “if you really love me, you’ll prove it by murdering your kid”; the dumb follower actually started to go through with it; then at the last minute, god popped back up and was all, “Psych! I was only kidding!”
Man, god was really a big dick. Dobson’s just trying to emulate him!
[re=569314]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ergo. Every sperm IS sacred.
Does he oppose earmarks the same way his father does? By making huge ones for his dumpwater district while bitching about how bad earmarks are?
This is great news. The fundies were the faction of the GOP with the most dicipline (i.e. brainwashing) so if they are leaving the GOP who is left? Has Ben Stein drank the tea yet?
Homeschooler = pro-forced pregnancy
This is 100% in my experience here in police state Arizona.
“opposes earmarking and supports israel”
So pretty much unlike his dad and like every other GOP candidate. Nice.
[re=569293]Dave J.[/re]: Peter was really bummed when he figured out Chris had a HUGE penis… The dangers of father/son showering are many…
Not to be all Lynne Truss and shit, but this:
“But now I’ve received further information from OB/GYN’s in Kentucky whom I trust, and from interviewing the candidate himself.”
wherein Dobson has violated at least three grammar commandments. For shame, James, FOR SHAME!
Washington Times goes on the block
“Is John Solomon the once and future editor of the Washington Times? Perhaps. The troubled conservative paper, which has seen two publishers and an editor leave over the past five months, is up for sale, with Solomon, who left in November, leading a group that’s interested in buying. … The Times has undergone several rounds of layoffs and cost-cutting in recent years, and the dismissal of three top executives in November, along with Solomon’s resignation, led to questions of how long the paper would survive.”
[re=569293]Dave J.[/re]: James Dobson: Normalizing Borderline-Deviant Sexual Behavior Since 1936.
Just when I thought Arizona might possibly out-retard Kentucky what with the new anti-brown laws, Kentucky steps up to the plate and scores a two-run homer of stupid by backing Ayn Rand Paul (R-Idiot Carpetbagger).
While I’m no biblical scholar, I don’t seem to remember the subject of earmarks coming up very much in those old episodes of “Davey and Goliath.”
[re=569389]Barrett808[/re]: Don’t worry, the moonies will find a home where the conservative welfare will continue to be spread. All is well under heaven!
[re=569388]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: This being Kentucky notwithstanding, I’m a bit mystified to read that ANY OB/GYNs in the state would trust James Dobson. Or at least how such OB/GYNs could remain in the trust of their patients.
Perhaps these are the OB/GYNs who only cater to white, conservative men.
didn’t Dobson just lose his power as head of some jeebus group? i think he was forced to resign.
so this Randy play is just a backhanded way for him to get back into the limelight.
these family-values Christers like to preen their sanctimonious pride in public.
Question 1: Why is this Paultard Baby Paul pro-life? That’s not a very libertarian position, but then neither daddy nor baby Paultard are libertarians (Republicans who want the government to stop doing stuff for other people, but not for them). They are douchebag Republican hypocrites.
Question 2: Why is James Dobson endorsing anyone? And why does his wretched ministry still get any tax exemption. Send the IRS after this SOB and shut his phony ministry down.
[re=569411]give us a bob[/re]: White, conservative men in KY really like the pap smears
[re=569302]Dolmance[/re]: It’s quite true that Protestant preachers are just as bad as Catholic priests.
[re=569369]Bruno[/re]: I wondered if Rand was kin to Ayn……
[re=569444]JSDC007[/re]: baby Paul = male = pro government in all vaginas
does not affect him personally, so why not?
Don’t pick up the soap when this guys in the shower with you.
[re=569358]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The prophet was Elishah, but otherwise your memory of the story is correct. http://bible.org/seriespage/elisha-and-two-bears-2-kings-223-25
Libertards can and do go either way on this issue. The personhood of the fetus is not determined by their political principles. So here they have to think for themselves, poor sad things.
[re=569387]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Peter was really impressed with how engorged it got as the nails were being pounded through the hands.
[re=569378]glamourdammerung[/re]: I’m sure that’s how it would work. The R playbook seems to be to dismiss all reporting of contrary facts as “liberal gotcha media”.
And One More time…
“Well, hello everyone. This is Dr. James Dobson, speaking as a private individual.”
“Have you ever made an embarrassing mistake? I did just that last week. I was given misleading information about the candidacy of Dr. Rand Paul, who is running in the Republican Primary for the U.S. Senate. Senior members of the GOP told me Dr. Paul is pro-choice and that he opposes many conservative perspectives, so I endorsed his opponent.”
“But now I’ve received further information from OB/GYN’s in Kentucky whom I trust, and from interviewing the candidate himself.”
“I now know that he is avidly pro life. He believes that life begins at conception.”
“He opposes earmarking and supports Israel. He identifies with the Tea Party movement and believes in home schooling. Sounds like my kind of man.”
“If I lived in Kentucky, I would vote for Dr. Rand Paul. Would you consider sending him to the U.S. Senate to shake things up in Washington?”
I just enjoy reading it…
Most comment on here are so borish..
And One more time…..
“Well, hello everyone. This is Dr. James Dobson, speaking as a private individual.”
“Have you ever made an embarrassing mistake? I did just that last week. I was given misleading information about the candidacy of Dr. Rand Paul, who is running in the Republican Primary for the U.S. Senate. Senior members of the GOP told me Dr. Paul is pro-choice and that he opposes many conservative perspectives, so I endorsed his opponent.”
“But now I’ve received further information from OB/GYN’s in Kentucky whom I trust, and from interviewing the candidate himself.”
“I now know that he is avidly pro life. He believes that life begins at conception.”
“He opposes earmarking and supports Israel. He identifies with the Tea Party movement and believes in home schooling. Sounds like my kind of man.”
“If I lived in Kentucky, I would vote for Dr. Rand Paul. Would you consider sending him to the U.S. Senate to shake things up in Washington?”
I just like reading it..
the comments on here are so borish.
Alt-text win.
Lord Cheney will not be amused.
And, Jim, Home Schooling is fundamental because otherwise you will learn about evolution, which leads to sex, drugs and socialism. You would know this if you hadn’t gone to some free-love/anarchist college like Harvard.
If Rand Paul says he’s pro-Israel, he’s lying.
[re=569396]Cape Clod[/re]: Did you miss the Davey and Goliath episodes where Davey showers with his father, and gets the anti-gay talk? Also, that night, Davey tells Goliath they have to stop having boy-dog secks because he has to start dating girls. But the image of his father’s gigantic penis has scarred him so badly he can’t get any words out, just sobs into Goliath’s fur that night, cuddling with him in bed. In another ep, Davey finally breaks the bad news to Goliath, who is so pissed he runs off with some street bitch.
The miracles of ovulation courtesy of nucleusanimation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLmg4wSHdxQ
and behold the mighty sperm
http://catalog.nucleusinc.com/generateexhibit.php?ID=32027&ExhibitKeywordsRaw=&TL=&A=2
for more hilarious medical animations, visit their YouTube channel – but not while eating, unless you are a medical person and won’t spit your food up
To put it all in religious context, Monty Python’s Every Sperm is Sacred
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk&playnext_from=TL&videos=x6BffhDXBO8
You’re welcome for your reproductive lesson of the day!
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