Fine, Here’s Your Barack Obama Comedy Routine

by Ken Layne

White House Correspondents’ Banquet! It was like a massive oil spill, but of shit, instead of oil. Last we heard from Jim Newell was at 12:44 a.m., by the way: “I am at msnbc afterparty. There are hamburgers and kc and the sunshine band are performing. It is epic.”

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


thegunner May 2, 2010 at 5:57 pm

about time mormon!

chascates May 2, 2010 at 6:16 pm

“Black socialist walks into the Oval Office…”

KC & the Sunshine Band? Pictures of Newell dancing plez.

chascates May 2, 2010 at 6:19 pm

And besides this circle-jerking laff fest where is the coverage of Janet Porter’s May Day Mall Pray-a-thon?

El Pinche May 2, 2010 at 6:24 pm

The Axelrod as a Krispy Creme catalog centerfold was pretty good. I see Axelrod is the Andy Dick of the WH Correspondent’s Banquet roasts.

x111e7thst May 2, 2010 at 6:24 pm

Play that funky music white boy

Monsieur Grumpe May 2, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Hamburgers can be thrown a long distance if you remove the bun and throw them like a Frisbee.
Do little dance. Make a little love. Get down to night.
Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?

bitchincamaro May 2, 2010 at 6:31 pm

38 minutes? Longest clip I’ll never have viewed on Wonkette.

Bearbloke May 2, 2010 at 6:38 pm

[re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?”

Yes – in a 3way with these two

greensprout May 2, 2010 at 6:40 pm

[re=568645]bitchincamaro[/re]: Worth it for the Massa joke(s)

Texan Bulldoggette May 2, 2010 at 6:46 pm

[re=568647]greensprout[/re]: Yes & his take down of Politico was awesome!

sezme May 2, 2010 at 6:46 pm

[re=568647]greensprout[/re]: Not to mention, you can turn it off at the 17 minute mark: That’s when Leno takes the stage. That last 20 minutes was kind of like being comedy-boarded.

artpepper May 2, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Too long; didn’t watch. Was any of it funnier than SP’s twitter feed?

JimNewell May 2, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Everything in that text message was true, and more.

There will be the annual million word photo tour post by tomorrow morning — something like this takes about 10 hours to format — after which you can join in on the annual divisive comment thread about the ethics of Wonkette attending fun parties during this unethical weekend it mocks all the time.

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 2, 2010 at 6:51 pm

So, did Jim disappear after having to make another “late night alcohol run” with Liz again?

Dashboard_Buddha May 2, 2010 at 7:10 pm

God a’mighty that was hard. Obama was a little stiff…but what the fuck? He’s the president…not a comedian. Then Leno started and I longed for the comedy sty lings of Barry.

Oh, and Bill? We hardly knew ya.

Diana Davies May 2, 2010 at 7:11 pm

[re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: And all this time I thought Jim was the slut.

Texan Bulldoggette May 2, 2010 at 7:15 pm

[re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?” I’m thinking Mika here; she looked like she’d been rode hard & put up wet on Morning Joe this morning.

Bearbloke May 2, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Did Obama make any jokes about the 40-something white man who the NYPD is searching for regarding the Times Sq. car-bomb? I’m certain that a few japes about rounding up and water-boarding people like that would draw loads of laffs from the Teabaggers….

Smoke Filled Roommate May 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Nice to see Barry get an Orange Boehner ha-ha in there after he’d already used up his Crist joke.

mumblyjoe May 2, 2010 at 7:22 pm

NOBAMA steals Wonkette’s jokes around 8:40. RITE UR OWN MATERIAL

Monsieur Grumpe May 2, 2010 at 7:23 pm

[re=568658]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: [re=568656]Diana Davies[/re]:
You what they say, once you go ginger you never play X-Box with your clothes on again.

kapish May 2, 2010 at 7:33 pm

Leno’s material sucked, by the way. He bombed.

DDD May 2, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Needs more Franchot Tone.

assistant/atlas May 2, 2010 at 7:42 pm

I’m just glad the President is totally Team Conan.

Of course, after that Leno performance, who wouldn’t be?

An American in Toronto May 2, 2010 at 7:48 pm

[re=568664]kapish[/re]: Should have gone with Coco, natch. As far as I’m concerned, nothing will ever, ever top Colbert. Why even bother? They should just re-run that roasting every year regardless who is president.

SayItWithWookies May 2, 2010 at 7:54 pm

Who decided Leno would be the keynote speaker for this thing? I’ll bet it was Rich Little’s idea, so his routine a few years back would look relevant and funny by comparison.

Bearbloke May 2, 2010 at 8:02 pm

[re=568664]kapish[/re]: Agreed – Obama should have gotten David Letterman to pander to the Indiana vote, or perhaps the “You might be a Redneck” guy, to pander to the TeaTard vote…

tbogg May 2, 2010 at 8:10 pm

President Hopey made fun of Sarah Palin. This was an unprovoked attack on Trig. Or one of her other stupid kids. Whatever works for her.

Smoke Filled Roommate May 2, 2010 at 8:16 pm

Leno sucks anyway, but the suck was enhanced by the inability to pan over to the screens displaying the footage for his “jokes”.

Aurelio May 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

[re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?

Some cougar.

sati demise May 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

[re=568658]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: yea, still had on what looked like her evening dress and some dark eyeglasses. Mika definitely did the walk of shame.

I Heart Accuracy May 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

WALNUTS, hahahaha, beer me.

Crank Tango May 2, 2010 at 8:42 pm

[re=568674]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I was surprised to find myself actually laughing to/at leno occasionally…but you know what tickles me…

glamourdammerung May 2, 2010 at 8:44 pm

[re=568651]JimNewell[/re]: Hey, I have no problem with the ethics of you all getting free food and hopefully booze.

Briguy May 2, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Is this the place I go to to say that Sarah Palin is a cunt?

mumblyjoe May 2, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Also, I can’t help but notice that in that whole speech, Obama never used the word “terrorism”.


ManchuCandidate May 2, 2010 at 9:02 pm

It’s a good thing Preznit Barry has a day job or Leno would be trying to ratfuck him like he did that other Ginger Fellow, Conan the Barbarian.

Smoke Filled Roommate May 2, 2010 at 9:12 pm

[re=568680]Crank Tango[/re]: Eric Massa?

hoosiermama May 2, 2010 at 9:18 pm

[re=568683]Briguy[/re]: First door on the right. This is the place where we call Leno a cunt.

Crank Tango May 2, 2010 at 9:20 pm

[re=568686]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: tickle fight! Lol I’m in Rochester right now…I can sense the chatouillement from here.

Troubledog May 2, 2010 at 9:23 pm

The #nerdprom reminds me of Caddie Day at Bushwood Country Club.

As a token of their generosity, once a year, the rich people let the staff use the facilities for 15 minutes.

Afterwards, they disinfect the place in hazmat suits. My God, you don’t expect me to sit down in there after a reporter took a shit, do you?

plowman May 2, 2010 at 9:32 pm

I must have missed the oil slick jokes, we’re all looking for some bright spots down here on the Gulf Coast…

Smoke Filled Roommate May 2, 2010 at 9:35 pm

[re=568688]Crank Tango[/re]: Get a garbage plate for me.. It’ll tickle yer innards!

Crank Tango May 2, 2010 at 9:39 pm

[re=568691]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: omg I know…I did promise to get one on this very Intertube weblog site too. We still have a fridge full of dinosaur pulled pork that has been tickling the innards all day…but I really should. Never had one yet!

sati demise May 2, 2010 at 9:41 pm

[re=568690]plowman[/re]: bright spot? Now that corporations are people, Halliburton is going to the gas chamber. For murder.

AJW May 2, 2010 at 10:05 pm

A little stiff but overall a good job.

Extemporanus May 2, 2010 at 10:13 pm

“My brotha…”

Smoke Filled Roommate May 2, 2010 at 10:20 pm

[re=568693]Crank Tango[/re]: Make sure to take a digital photo of the Kodak building for me..
(Actually, it’s kinda sad. My father is a soon-to-be-retired newspaper photographer and one of the earliest memories I have is of the D-76 smell in the darkroom..)

WickedWitch May 2, 2010 at 10:21 pm

[re=568646]Bearbloke[/re]: Must find strong alcohol stat. Was NOT ready for that!

El Pinche May 2, 2010 at 10:24 pm

[re=568690]plowman[/re]: Rush Limpy was cuttin it up. He now says leave the oil, it’s natural! Hahahaha. He needs to die.

WickedWitch May 2, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Sorry — but this is the second year in a row that Obama’s mocked Boehner’s not-natural skintone. Methinks he could do a whole segment on Coco’s new show — I’d watch.

Crank Tango May 2, 2010 at 10:28 pm

[re=568698]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: deal. Send me an electronic message at my name@the gmail dottcomm thinger and I’ll hook ya up!

Holding Out for a Hero May 2, 2010 at 10:31 pm

For the “my approval ratings are high in the country of my birth” joke alone, Barry wins the evening.

John Thune May 2, 2010 at 10:35 pm

I know I’m not the only one hoping that a Jonas brother would try making a move on one of the President’s daughters. Least controversial use of a predator drone ever!

lulzmonger May 2, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Jay Fucking Leno?

Too Unfunny; Didn’t Watch.

the problem child May 2, 2010 at 11:08 pm

Why even bother with Leno? I didn’t.

Hoplight May 2, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Obama takes his comedy too seriously.

mumblyjoe May 2, 2010 at 11:18 pm

[re=568697]Extemporanus[/re]: See, he can also speak *in* the Negro dialect, when he chooses to, too!

Blender May 2, 2010 at 11:22 pm

Do did Bill O’Reilly get served with another Peabody? What?

prestochango May 2, 2010 at 11:48 pm

That was almost as much fun as being… aw, screw it, I can’t lie. The video is another example of how all politicians, even Barack “Cooler than Allah” Obama, make me feel embarrassed for the sense of humor my fellow human beings think they have. What would have made the event something enjoyable? George Carlin and no politicians [priceless]. Or having a drink made by Rachel Maddow [not priceless, but delicious]. Watching video from the event: Worthless.

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 2, 2010 at 11:53 pm

[re=568651]JimNewell[/re]: Don’t worry, even with no ethics, you still have more ethics than FOX News.

lumpenprole May 3, 2010 at 12:02 am

He looked uncomfortable with his own punchlines. Couldn’t finish.

Joshua Norton May 3, 2010 at 1:03 am

The catering crew came with an original way to get K-Lo’s dessert served at high speed. Otherwise she’d start grazing on the floral arrangements.

Cupcake Cannon

Mr Blifil May 3, 2010 at 1:17 am

It was hard for me to work up much laughter thinking about all the wetlands species about to become extinct. But that’s just me probably…

obfuscator May 3, 2010 at 1:31 am

i could have done without the predator drone joke, barry. hahahaha sorry, vaporized afghan civilians.

Bruno May 3, 2010 at 1:46 am

He is so uppity. How dare he use this important worldwide forum to take down his opponents? Screw you Jay.

Jukesgrrl May 3, 2010 at 1:53 am

[re=568651]JimNewell[/re]: I say go to EVERY party. All the food you eat, you keep out of the mouths of Jonah and KLo — that’s a mitzvah.

Jukesgrrl May 3, 2010 at 1:57 am

Did Crank Tango and Smoke Filled Roommate just have sex?

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 3, 2010 at 2:36 am

[re=568731]Jukesgrrl[/re]: As much as anyone on Wonkette does, yes.

Radiotherapy May 3, 2010 at 2:37 am

[re=568669]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Because of the oil spill, I’ve decided not to be funny.
In a MST3K way, that Rich Little reference is a go to. Halfwit prez, washed-up mimic, and zombies in the audience. Wonktards should see the comedy gold of that uneasy evening.

They were railroad tracks people!……crickets…clinking dinerware

Pat Pending May 3, 2010 at 2:44 am

[re=568713]Blender[/re]: Hey, bastard, that’s a POLK award, and he didn’t lie about nothing. It’s your own fucking fault if you get yer P’s mixed up!

DC Hates Me May 3, 2010 at 4:15 am

Dr. Martin Luther King never did stand up comedy. Same as Obama.

Dolmance May 3, 2010 at 4:17 am

I got one! I got one!

What’s one particular activity that 9 out of 10 people really, really enjoy?

It’s Gang Rape, stupid.

Suds McKenzie May 3, 2010 at 5:12 am

[re=568683]Briguy[/re]: Yes, … yes it is.

Hello Sunshine May 3, 2010 at 5:27 am

How long until the wingnuts go wingnutty about the fact that he almost moved the declaration of independence to 1976?

Limeylizzie May 3, 2010 at 7:23 am

[re=568741]Hello Sunshine[/re]: I noticed that that insane person Brent Bozzell(sp) wrote a whole piece about “How dare the Prez. say “Fucking” what a disgrace to the office” and all the comments were all furious about his lack of class and then they realised he had said “Freakin’” so they all look like even bigger racists than usual…cunts.

plowman May 3, 2010 at 9:21 am

[re=568695]sati demise[/re]: [re=568700]El Pinche[/re]: Maybe they can shove Haliburton up Rush’s expansive ass and send the whole fucking mess to plug this hole in the bottom of the Gulf…

norbizness May 3, 2010 at 9:22 am

It’s true, Washington really is Hollywood for ugly people who can’t act, make jokes, or otherwise entertain us (voluntarily). So I guess Jay Leno will be moving to the District tout de suite.

thefrontpage May 3, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Idea for next year’s WHCAD, if there is any journalism left and any money left to have this stupid, stinking pile of crap:

An outdoor barbeque on a large farm, open to the public, with Larry the Cable Guy, Willie Nelson, ZZ Top and Lynyrd Skynyd as the entertainment. Kegs, coolers, barbeques, campfires, bonfires and a lake for canoeing.

No speeches by anyone–except for the awards and scholarships for journalists.

No politicians. No invited B-level Hollywood, music or television morons. No Congressmen, no mayors, no White House people. None.

And no Jay Leno–he’s forbidden.

Invited: Journalists, the general public, and that’s it.

No press coverage allowed–none.

Dress code: None. Whatever the hell you want to wear.

This could work. In fact, this is what this thing should be.

And it would be the best party anyone has attended in the entire stupid history of the WHCAD pile of crap.

desertwind May 3, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Obama’s left wing elbow jab* is becoming a tick, isn’t it?

* First seen at the “You Lie!” moment.

Tundra Grifter May 3, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Why did JLeno keep hopping up and down, backwards and forwards, side-to-side like a five-year-old boy who really, really, really has to pee?

Tundra Grifter May 3, 2010 at 8:09 pm

[re=568742]Limeylizzie[/re]: That would be L. Bent Bozo. The Turd.

Tundra Grifter May 4, 2010 at 9:29 am

[re=568742]Limeylizzie[/re]: I looked on NewsBusters and couldn’t find L. Bent Bozo The Turd’s column. Did they take it down in shame?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: