at least he made politico jokes

Fine, Here’s Your Barack Obama Comedy Routine

White House Correspondents’ Banquet! It was like a massive oil spill, but of shit, instead of oil. Last we heard from Jim Newell was at 12:44 a.m., by the way: “I am at msnbc afterparty. There are hamburgers and kc and the sunshine band are performing. It is epic.”

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  1. chascates

    “Black socialist walks into the Oval Office…”

    KC & the Sunshine Band? Pictures of Newell dancing plez.

  2. chascates

    And besides this circle-jerking laff fest where is the coverage of Janet Porter’s May Day Mall Pray-a-thon?

  3. El Pinche

    The Axelrod as a Krispy Creme catalog centerfold was pretty good. I see Axelrod is the Andy Dick of the WH Correspondent’s Banquet roasts.

  4. Monsieur Grumpe

    Hamburgers can be thrown a long distance if you remove the bun and throw them like a Frisbee.
    Do little dance. Make a little love. Get down to night.
    Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?

  5. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=568647]greensprout[/re]: Yes & his take down of Politico was awesome!

  6. sezme

    [re=568647]greensprout[/re]: Not to mention, you can turn it off at the 17 minute mark: That’s when Leno takes the stage. That last 20 minutes was kind of like being comedy-boarded.

  7. JimNewell

    Everything in that text message was true, and more.

    There will be the annual million word photo tour post by tomorrow morning — something like this takes about 10 hours to format — after which you can join in on the annual divisive comment thread about the ethics of Wonkette attending fun parties during this unethical weekend it mocks all the time.

  8. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So, did Jim disappear after having to make another “late night alcohol run” with Liz again?

  9. Dashboard_Buddha

    God a’mighty that was hard. Obama was a little stiff…but what the fuck? He’s the president…not a comedian. Then Leno started and I longed for the comedy sty lings of Barry.

    Oh, and Bill? We hardly knew ya.

  10. Diana Davies

    [re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: And all this time I thought Jim was the slut.

  11. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?” I’m thinking Mika here; she looked like she’d been rode hard & put up wet on Morning Joe this morning.

  12. Bearbloke

    Did Obama make any jokes about the 40-something white man who the NYPD is searching for regarding the Times Sq. car-bomb? I’m certain that a few japes about rounding up and water-boarding people like that would draw loads of laffs from the Teabaggers….

  13. Smoke Filled Roommate

    Nice to see Barry get an Orange Boehner ha-ha in there after he’d already used up his Crist joke.

  14. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=568658]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: [re=568656]Diana Davies[/re]:
    You what they say, once you go ginger you never play X-Box with your clothes on again.

  15. assistant/atlas

    I’m just glad the President is totally Team Conan.

    Of course, after that Leno performance, who wouldn’t be?

  16. An American in Toronto

    [re=568664]kapish[/re]: Should have gone with Coco, natch. As far as I’m concerned, nothing will ever, ever top Colbert. Why even bother? They should just re-run that roasting every year regardless who is president.

  17. SayItWithWookies

    Who decided Leno would be the keynote speaker for this thing? I’ll bet it was Rich Little’s idea, so his routine a few years back would look relevant and funny by comparison.

  18. Bearbloke

    [re=568664]kapish[/re]: Agreed – Obama should have gotten David Letterman to pander to the Indiana vote, or perhaps the “You might be a Redneck” guy, to pander to the TeaTard vote…

  19. tbogg

    President Hopey made fun of Sarah Palin. This was an unprovoked attack on Trig. Or one of her other stupid kids. Whatever works for her.

  20. Smoke Filled Roommate

    Leno sucks anyway, but the suck was enhanced by the inability to pan over to the screens displaying the footage for his “jokes”.

  21. Aurelio

    [re=568644]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
    Is this the night Newell loses his virginity to some MSM slut?

    Some cougar.

  22. sati demise

    [re=568658]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: yea, still had on what looked like her evening dress and some dark eyeglasses. Mika definitely did the walk of shame.

  23. Crank Tango

    [re=568674]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I was surprised to find myself actually laughing to/at leno occasionally…but you know what tickles me…

  24. glamourdammerung

    [re=568651]JimNewell[/re]: Hey, I have no problem with the ethics of you all getting free food and hopefully booze.

  25. mumblyjoe

    Also, I can’t help but notice that in that whole speech, Obama never used the word “terrorism”.


  26. ManchuCandidate

    It’s a good thing Preznit Barry has a day job or Leno would be trying to ratfuck him like he did that other Ginger Fellow, Conan the Barbarian.

  27. hoosiermama

    [re=568683]Briguy[/re]: First door on the right. This is the place where we call Leno a cunt.

  28. Crank Tango

    [re=568686]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: tickle fight! Lol I’m in Rochester right now…I can sense the chatouillement from here.

  29. Troubledog

    The #nerdprom reminds me of Caddie Day at Bushwood Country Club.

    As a token of their generosity, once a year, the rich people let the staff use the facilities for 15 minutes.

    Afterwards, they disinfect the place in hazmat suits. My God, you don’t expect me to sit down in there after a reporter took a shit, do you?

  30. plowman

    I must have missed the oil slick jokes, we’re all looking for some bright spots down here on the Gulf Coast…

  31. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=568688]Crank Tango[/re]: Get a garbage plate for me.. It’ll tickle yer innards!

  32. Crank Tango

    [re=568691]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: omg I know…I did promise to get one on this very Intertube weblog site too. We still have a fridge full of dinosaur pulled pork that has been tickling the innards all day…but I really should. Never had one yet!

  33. sati demise

    [re=568690]plowman[/re]: bright spot? Now that corporations are people, Halliburton is going to the gas chamber. For murder.

  34. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=568693]Crank Tango[/re]: Make sure to take a digital photo of the Kodak building for me..
    (Actually, it’s kinda sad. My father is a soon-to-be-retired newspaper photographer and one of the earliest memories I have is of the D-76 smell in the darkroom..)

  35. WickedWitch

    [re=568646]Bearbloke[/re]: Must find strong alcohol stat. Was NOT ready for that!

  36. El Pinche

    [re=568690]plowman[/re]: Rush Limpy was cuttin it up. He now says leave the oil, it’s natural! Hahahaha. He needs to die.

  37. WickedWitch

    Sorry — but this is the second year in a row that Obama’s mocked Boehner’s not-natural skintone. Methinks he could do a whole segment on Coco’s new show — I’d watch.

  38. Crank Tango

    [re=568698]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: deal. Send me an electronic message at my name@the gmail dottcomm thinger and I’ll hook ya up!

  39. Holding Out for a Hero

    For the “my approval ratings are high in the country of my birth” joke alone, Barry wins the evening.

  40. John Thune

    I know I’m not the only one hoping that a Jonas brother would try making a move on one of the President’s daughters. Least controversial use of a predator drone ever!

  41. mumblyjoe

    [re=568697]Extemporanus[/re]: See, he can also speak *in* the Negro dialect, when he chooses to, too!

  42. prestochango

    That was almost as much fun as being… aw, screw it, I can’t lie. The video is another example of how all politicians, even Barack “Cooler than Allah” Obama, make me feel embarrassed for the sense of humor my fellow human beings think they have. What would have made the event something enjoyable? George Carlin and no politicians [priceless]. Or having a drink made by Rachel Maddow [not priceless, but delicious]. Watching video from the event: Worthless.

  43. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=568651]JimNewell[/re]: Don’t worry, even with no ethics, you still have more ethics than FOX News.

  44. Joshua Norton

    The catering crew came with an original way to get K-Lo’s dessert served at high speed. Otherwise she’d start grazing on the floral arrangements.

    Cupcake Cannon

  45. Mr Blifil

    It was hard for me to work up much laughter thinking about all the wetlands species about to become extinct. But that’s just me probably…

  46. obfuscator

    i could have done without the predator drone joke, barry. hahahaha sorry, vaporized afghan civilians.

  47. Bruno

    He is so uppity. How dare he use this important worldwide forum to take down his opponents? Screw you Jay.

  48. Jukesgrrl

    [re=568651]JimNewell[/re]: I say go to EVERY party. All the food you eat, you keep out of the mouths of Jonah and KLo — that’s a mitzvah.

  49. Radiotherapy

    [re=568669]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Because of the oil spill, I’ve decided not to be funny.
    In a MST3K way, that Rich Little reference is a go to. Halfwit prez, washed-up mimic, and zombies in the audience. Wonktards should see the comedy gold of that uneasy evening.

    They were railroad tracks people!……crickets…clinking dinerware

  50. Pat Pending

    [re=568713]Blender[/re]: Hey, bastard, that’s a POLK award, and he didn’t lie about nothing. It’s your own fucking fault if you get yer P’s mixed up!

  51. Dolmance

    I got one! I got one!

    What’s one particular activity that 9 out of 10 people really, really enjoy?

    It’s Gang Rape, stupid.

  52. Hello Sunshine

    How long until the wingnuts go wingnutty about the fact that he almost moved the declaration of independence to 1976?

  53. Limeylizzie

    [re=568741]Hello Sunshine[/re]: I noticed that that insane person Brent Bozzell(sp) wrote a whole piece about “How dare the Prez. say “Fucking” what a disgrace to the office” and all the comments were all furious about his lack of class and then they realised he had said “Freakin'” so they all look like even bigger racists than usual…cunts.

  54. plowman

    [re=568695]sati demise[/re]: [re=568700]El Pinche[/re]: Maybe they can shove Haliburton up Rush’s expansive ass and send the whole fucking mess to plug this hole in the bottom of the Gulf…

  55. norbizness

    It’s true, Washington really is Hollywood for ugly people who can’t act, make jokes, or otherwise entertain us (voluntarily). So I guess Jay Leno will be moving to the District tout de suite.

  56. thefrontpage

    Idea for next year’s WHCAD, if there is any journalism left and any money left to have this stupid, stinking pile of crap:

    An outdoor barbeque on a large farm, open to the public, with Larry the Cable Guy, Willie Nelson, ZZ Top and Lynyrd Skynyd as the entertainment. Kegs, coolers, barbeques, campfires, bonfires and a lake for canoeing.

    No speeches by anyone–except for the awards and scholarships for journalists.

    No politicians. No invited B-level Hollywood, music or television morons. No Congressmen, no mayors, no White House people. None.

    And no Jay Leno–he’s forbidden.

    Invited: Journalists, the general public, and that’s it.

    No press coverage allowed–none.

    Dress code: None. Whatever the hell you want to wear.

    This could work. In fact, this is what this thing should be.

    And it would be the best party anyone has attended in the entire stupid history of the WHCAD pile of crap.

  57. desertwind

    Obama’s left wing elbow jab* is becoming a tick, isn’t it?

    * First seen at the “You Lie!” moment.

  58. Tundra Grifter

    Why did JLeno keep hopping up and down, backwards and forwards, side-to-side like a five-year-old boy who really, really, really has to pee?

  59. Tundra Grifter

    [re=568742]Limeylizzie[/re]: I looked on NewsBusters and couldn’t find L. Bent Bozo The Turd’s column. Did they take it down in shame?

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