Aha, we’ve been waiting for a comment from America’s most pandering oil-company cheerleader, and here we go. She knows how terrible these situations can be and is sorry for everyone down there, in the entire American coastal South, whoops. She knows.

When that Exxon Valdez thing happened, in Alaska, she basically stopped it from being worse by covering the leak with her hand — the same hand on which she writes notes, now, for speeches. And then she cleaned it all up with a hockey stick and some cotton balls. So she knows. Maybe, since she knows exactly what is happening right now in the Gulf Coast, she should consider haulin’ ass down there to clean this shit up. Either that, or she could behave like an adult when advocating for dangerous practices, on Twitter. Just brainstorming! We don’t care for Sarah Palin, is the thing.


That stretch of coastline is full of marshlands, replete with reeds and piles of dead grass that could soak up oil like a sponge. Unlike fish, the area’s famous populations of blue crabs and oysters won’t be able to outrun the slick. And, precisely at this time of year, the region is host to vast numbers of migratory birds returning from their wintering grounds in South America.

Besides the damage to fish and wildlife, even the land itself could be a victim of the spill. One scientist said if the oil kills marsh grasses, it could eliminate a key natural barrier that keeps Louisiana’s precious coastline from eroding.


Scientists said that many species of fish may simply swim away from the advancing oil slick — although, as it spreads, there may be fewer clean waters to flee to.

For gulf animals not fleet enough to escape, including many crabs, oysters and shrimp, a coating of oil could be toxic. These species are crucial to the region’s fishing villages, and the country’s seafood supply: At last count, Louisiana fishermen hauled in about 10 percent of the nation’s total seafood catch, by weight.

The point, as this Post article notes, and which Sarah Palin may never be capable of understanding, is that it’s a lot shittier of a situation when something like this happens in the lush Mississippi Delta or Louisiana or Florida than it is when it’s in the rocky, nordic coasts of North Bumfuck, Alaska. And even then, it still screws things up for a generation!

When oh when will Science figure out how to launch massive solar panels into space, so we can be rid of these filthy hydrocarbons? Or can we just launch Sarah Palin into space instead? WE TOTALLY HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY FOR THAT! Anyway.


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  • slappypaddy

    she can see the oil slick from her house

  • pondscum

    In 1989 Sarah wasn’t “working” anywhere. WTF is she talking about?

  • joementum

    Let Sarah be Sarah.

  • Not_So_Much

    Howz that drilly-spilly thing workin’ out for ya?

  • GOPCrusher

    How absorbent are the pages of Going Rogue? They couldn’t give that book away, maybe they can put it to good use and see how much oil it can sop up.

  • ella

    I might have to retweet her little gem, just to append STFU.

  • Snarkalicious

    No way she wrote that herself. Right now, they’ve got her blized out on Laudnum and strapped to a stone wall, muttering shit about muzlins and Lamestream whatever.

  • Hoplight

    Forget the oil spill. When is she going to jail for hacking that email account in 2003? Since she’s all for that, I’m sure she’s ready and willing to go.

  • Koch Fembot

    Drill the spill, baby!

  • RoscoePColtraine

    While you’re praying for us, could you go ahead and just ask God to stop the shit from leaking now, and, if he wouldn’t mind too terribly, if it’s not any trouble for him, could he send a mighty wind like in Exodus, and maybe through some miracle, blow the oil that’s already there up into space? Powerful stuff, prayer.

  • emberglance


  • Sharkey

    This isn’t the time for blame, it’s for morning.

  • One Yield Regular

    Might I suggest trepanation as the only “Drill, baby, drill!” I could get behind?

  • Sharkey

    And by the way, prayer doesn’t work on animals, so don’t bother trying to help them that way.

  • Neilist

    Wait a minute: What happened to “Drill, Baby, DRILL!,” (i.e., FUCK the environment)?

    First poor Bobby Jindal-Dinn and the Icelandic Volcano Menace. And now this.

    Perhaps “God” does exist. A “God” who hates Republican Idiots, and has a Weird Sense of Humor?

    (Oh, and loves illegal, heavily armed Mexskins. Because He/She/It made so many of them?)

  • Hoplight
  • Aflac Shrugged

    The “industry efforts” will be confined to handing this swollen diaper over to the U.S. government, Sarah. Thanks.

  • sagebrush

    Since Sister Sarah has this experience with Exxon Valdez, why isn’t she helping cleanup the spill in the Gulf? Oh, and how’s that “Drill, baby, drill” working out for ya, Sarah?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Oh Simple Sarah, it’s the fucking gubbiment (Coast Guard/Navy/EPA) that’s doing the work. Soclializm!

    Industry? Ha. Your friends at BP will be given the bill till the Pro-Bidniz Supremes fuck the chicken and chop it down to nothing.

  • hockeymom

    The language is so cute. “Industry efforts”. Because it would choke her to say that the government can actually be helpful. Kind of ruins the illusion that government is wrong, always, all the time. Except when they’re preventin’ abortions, arrestin’ illegals and forcin’ folks to pray.

  • tootsieroll

    The NTY blog posting updates on the story most awesomely highlighted a comment from a reader who wrote:
    “If Sarah Palin had had any personal experience or consequence with the Exxon Valdez spill she would never glibly trotted out “Drill, baby, drill.” Our spill ended up employing over 10,000 people and was an economic boon provided you weren’t trying to make a living commercial fishing or involved in tourism activities.”

    They also have a nifty little blurb about how Halliburton’s cementing operation may have been the cause of the explosion, and coincidently…“Halliburton also was the cementer on a well that suffered a big blowout last August in the Timor Sea, off Australia. The rig there caught fire and a well leaked tens of thousands of barrels of oil over 10 weeks before it was shut down. The investigation is continuing; Halliburton declined to comment on it.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    Also, if the oil contaminating your home, water and food should make you sick — just scamper across the border to Canada for the healthcare. Oh, wait.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Think positive!

    On the bright side, you can safely troll though the swamps without worrying about getting bitten by some creepy crab or having a snake crawl up your pants!

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568279]Neilist[/re]: Now who is leaving out the truly important info? What are those illegal, heavily armed Mexskins actually heavily armed with?

  • Terry

    So, where was the Snow Billy during the Valdez spill? At one of the many colleges she briefly attended? Hanging out in Wasilla, conspicuously inland and free of oil impacts?

  • TheCoolestGuyInTown

    Check the comments to her Facebook posting. There are people suggesting the spill is a conspiracy by the Obama administration to make off-shore drilling look bad so they can stop off-shore drilling…

  • chascates

    All the southern states despise the feds. Until they need their help.

  • Delicious

    You and your fish and your marsh weeds can go back to Russia!

  • I Heart Accuracy

    She is like gravity, but for idiot.

  • chascates

    [re=568296]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: From the delightfully named
    Comrade Obama Halts Offshore Drilling
    The Marxist community activist that our liberal rulers saw fit to put in charge of the Executive Branch has used the Gulf oil spill — presumably the result of deliberate sabotage — as a pretext to shut down all offshore drilling.
    How this would have any effect on the oil spill was left unexplained, but it will certainly have an effect on oil prices, and consequently on our faltering economy. But Hugo Chavez and the Arab World send their thanks.

  • Sharkey

    [re=568280]Hoplight[/re]: That reminds me.

    Fisherman and other affected coastal residents, don’t count on ever getting reimbursed for your lost livelihood.


  • Shitty the Clown

    We all know how much women hate to see/hear the word “cunt”, and I don’t use it in the day-to-day; but sometimes it’s the only word that fits the situation. For instance, “Sarah Palin is a cunt” is an absolutely true statement, and it gets right to the point. Her saccharine tweet is the epitome of cuntiness.

    Hmmm….”Her Cuntiness”. Hey, I like the sound of that already!

  • RPolanski

    Pat Robertson is blaming it on teh gays again?

  • Extemporanus

    She feels an affinity for Exxon because both their names begin with “Ex-“.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568302]chascates[/re]: They blew up my coal mine and I said nothing
    for I am not a coalmine

    They sank my drilling rig and I still said nothing etc.

  • germansteel

    I’m sooo relieved to know that not only Sarah knows the Gulf residents fears, but her family does, too. I was losing sleep over that, wondering what Todd and the Family Grift thought about all this.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=568304]Shitty the Clown[/re]: Hipster riches await you

  • chascates

    And she says all industry efforts must be employed. So she doesn’t want the government involved in this?

  • Dolmance

    How’s that oily spilly thing coming, you cunt?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=568313]Extemporanus[/re]: I chuckled out loud at that shirt.

    [re=568304]Shitty the Clown[/re]: Yeah, I hate the ‘C’ word & it is rarely used appropriately (e.g., when a waitress was rude to you, when your girlfriend wouldn’t toss your salad–a term I learned on Wonkette–or when some dumb woman cuts you off in traffic) BUT that is exactly the right moniker for Snowbilly.

  • Neilist

    [re=568294]x111e7thst[/re]: Romanian-made AKs, usually.

    Or the even cheaper SKS carbine.

    If all else fails, they throw taco truck carne asada burritos like hand grenades.

    (Those things are deadly enough to drop a coyote faster than Governor Perry’s .380 cal. “Red Ryder” signature model Ruger cap pistol.)


  • Limeylizzie
  • Cape Clod

    Oh, she took time out from sucking the oil industry’s cock to say something?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    “Sarah Palin to Gov’t: HANDS OFF Gulf Oil Spill!”

    Love it.

  • El Pinche

    BREAKING NEWS: President Obama files an executive order ordering Palin and all the Spill baby Spill jerkoffs for coastal clean up duty. Unfortunately, Obama will heading there as well.

  • Neilist

    [re=568317]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “Cunt” is not a word that I typically use, even when provoked. But I can’t think up a better word to describe Mooselini.

    Well, okay. “Stupid Cunt.” But that’s two words. (“Stupidcunt” would be one of those . . . whatdacallem? . . . portmanteau thingies, right?)

  • 4tehlulz

    “All industry efforts must b employed”

    Don’t worry, Frau Palin; I’m sure BP has deployed its best lawyers to help evade any responsibility for cleanup.

  • mumblyjoe

    Really, I just have one response to the whole oil spill news thing:

  • zhubajie

    Is she ever going to go back to Alaska?

  • coolcatdaddy

    Yes, Sarah, I feel for the experiences of your friends, family and fellow countrymen as bile and stupid ooze out of your mouth coating America’s heartland….

  • Diana Davies

    [re=568320]Limeylizzie[/re]: You can’t fool Mother Nature.

  • Cicada

    [re=568320]Limeylizzie[/re]: WTF is going ON?!? Jeez.

  • V572625694

    Dear Snowbilly,

    My heart r/w/u in your prayers, which have often proven just as effective as your beloved free market in keeping crude oil off of shorebirds, mollusks, gastropods, etc. Thank THE LORD Jeebus we don’t have socialist regulation of the oil industry, or the socialist profit-sharing with the oil industry such as U have in AK, which buys off morans like your husband the Toddmeister, who’s happily buzzing around on his put-put shooting stuff when he’s not working at his pipeline job. So, as you say, your experience with oil disasters is highly pertinent to this situation, and your kind wishes are an inspiration to us all.


    PS: Take some fuckin’ elocution lessons, will ya?

  • Radiotherapy

    If there is anything this bitch knows anything about, it’s crude.

  • zhubajie

    How come Pat Robertson and the other faith-healers aren’t shouting HEAL! HEAL! Right now? Pat claimed he saved Virgia from a hurricane a few years back.

  • Can O Whoopass

    Sarah is more worried about a shortage of paper to print her next bullshit book aimed at illiterate inbreds in pointy hats.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=568267]Not_So_Much[/re]: Awesome!

  • Can O Whoopass

    She knows how to lie.

  • sati demise

    [re=568279]Neilist[/re]: He/She/It happens to love the gun show loop hole that allows the drug cartels to out gun the police and the border patrol.

    Sarah is an idiot, as usual, no news there.

  • Maus

    Sarahkitten I believe the problem here is that all industry efforts WERE employed.

    If you truly understood, you wouldn’t have been jerking off the offshore lobbyists.

  • Veritas78

    If you liberals hadn’t prevented the development of oil-resistant birds, fish, and plants, we wouldn’t be in this mess. It’s time to call in Monsanto, ConAgra, and some biotech companies, pronto! Free markets will solve all of this!!

  • Flanders

    My god I hate this stupid cunt.

    How is that drilly-spilly thing working out for you, you goddamn stupid cunt??1!

  • Mac W Cheese

    Why, I was just wondering what Sarah thought about this latest ecological disaster. Thanks, Wonkette, for completing my week.

  • DangerousLiberal

    Umm, well, yeah, the Exxon Valdez spill was really bad Jim. Could bury you in technical reports, evasive bullshit from Exxon, proof of Alaska legislators’ long term brownnosing of the awl bidness, &c. Or just trust my Avatar of Truth over there.

  • Way Cool Larry

    It’s so very touching when she says her “prayers r w/u. All industry efforts…”.

    What a fucking cunt.

  • Oldskool

    You know, if she ran pipes around her head, but mostly in front of her cakehole, that hot air could generate who knows how many megawatts of awesome and free Sayruh Power. And if Beck and Limbaugh were hooked up too we could cold tell the Saudis to go fuck off.

  • El Pinche

    Sounds like we need to go to war again. Who’s next on our brown-people-that-might-have-oil-that-we-need-to-bomb list ?

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Apparently it can’t be said enough: Shut the Fuck Up you Dumb Cunt.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    Our prayers r/w/u. Fishin industry’s just fine here.

  • IgnatiusReilly

    History will remember and honor the loquence of her simpul 140 character or fewer statement “Our prayers r w/u.” Her thoughtful deletion of showy, curly, let’s just be clear, ghey, round letters made me realize her courage. Sometimes the simplest statements are the most profound. . . ly retarded. I have always understood her “drill, baby, drill” chant was not a thinly-veiled doubble-entendre meant to give her creepy, comb-overed, middle-aged Repub male Christian coalition guilt-free hard dicks, but I now, more than ever, appreciate her empathy.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    It is a shame, but the Twitter character limit must have cut off “Drill Baby Drill!” from her post.


    government, sit this one out. let’s watch industry and the free market fix this one.

  • stew

    “Can’t we just get a bunch of big glass jars and scoop up the oil and send it to the oil places, ya know?”

  • artpepper

    The “eco-terrorists done blew it up” theory is Limbaugh’s. I swear, if he said the sky is green, the wingnuts would demand that “liberal” science textbooks be changed to remove all references to the so-called “blue” sky.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    OT, but breaking Racist Arizona news.. Apparently a Sheriff’s Deputy was shot by an alleged illegal immigrant during a “routine traffic stop”.

  • rocktonsammy

    The experience prepared $arah for life.

    Being an oily hypocrite.


  • Darkness

    [re=568378]stew[/re]: Given that some texas oil wells pump in 100,000 gallons of water to get out 1000 gallons of crude, you’d think they could just toss a big hose or two into the gulf and run it through their facilities. That’s what this is! It’s a conspiracy to rescue the west texas crude oil industry!

  • El Pinche

    [re=568376]NYNYNY[/re]: Hurricane season is about to start up, too. Let’s see how all these coastal states that wanna secede do without Big Government.

  • stevnjessie1

    i guess she won’t have any blue crabs or oysters laying next to her mashed potatoes.

  • Maezeppa

    Somebody clearly wrote this Tweet for her. Our Caribou Barbie isn’t literate enough to get the apostrophe right in the possessive plural of “resident”.

  • jetjaguar

    “all industry efforts must b employed”

    Hey dumbfuck, the were, and they weren’t enough.

  • Buttery1000

    SP is genius among midgets and lepers.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=568383]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: If by routine traffic stop you mean being questioned about marijuana bales out in the desert, and by “suspected illegal” you mean drug cartel soldiers, then yeah.

    This incident is just what’s wrong about the AZ bill. No bs law about hassling browns for papers was going to stop this drug crew, (packing AK-47s, apparently) from defending their stash. And no bs comprehensive law from the Feds is going to suddenly reverse the history of drug trade related violence. Shit, St. Reaganus Maximus couldn’t stop it, with all of his magic powers.

  • hotdog

    Why cunt we all get along?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568398]El Pinche[/re]: Indeed – now is the time for all that treasonous secession talk to be taken seriously at the WH.

    In the meantime, has anyone let proven that Haliburton deliberately blew up the rig in order to destabilise the Obama govt, at Cheney’s orders in pursuance of the goals he developed in his secret WH meetings with BP and the other energy producers?

    This story is just as plausible as the “It’s Obama’s fault” cry – perhaps more so…

  • edgydrifter

    [re=568401]Maezeppa[/re]: My thoughts exactly.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Who cares? I’ve got my own stupid Republic bitch (aren’t they all?) and no g*ddam video to prove it. Oklahoma’s ignorant Republic bitch, Congresswoman Mary Fallin, who’s running for gov. said this at a local banquet I had to go to:

    “As Ronald Regan said, ‘A house divided against itself cannot stand.'”

    Now they’ve just kicked Lincoln’s ass completely out of the Republic party and given his best lines to Reagan. Everyone remembers his Saint Ronald’s D-Day Memorial speech, “Four score and seven years ago . . “

  • Berkeley Bear

    Oh, and her involvement with the Valdez spill was being in Wasilla. In March 1989 she was the newlywed bride of loyal BP worker Todd about to shoot her first baby out (the one who no one is sure why he wound up in the Army) and maybe looking forward to working on Todd’s fishing lands (which are on a different inlet than Prince William sound (over 100 miles and a totally different water system away). Pics of her with an oil covered tern or GTFO.

  • Boethius

    Worked/lived thru it & didn’t learn a goshdarn thing frum it

  • DustBowlBlues

    Where’s the utube video of her twisting her ass during the debate and chanting “drill baby drill” intercut with video of the oil oozing into the LA wetlands? I want to see it!

  • saladgirl

    Oh shitty…just today I was thinking about that word and how I hardly ever use it (and I have a pretty bad mouth)….EXCEPT…when it comes to Sarah Palin. Dumb cunt, stupid cunt, fucking cunt. And I’m a 58 year old woman.

  • Jumping Jim

    Daily News headline for tomorrow:
    Palin to Louisiana, “Don’t Cry Over Spilt Oil!”

  • indygirl

    You’d think Sarah would have enough other things to worry about this week–say, like, Bristol on the witness stand spilling the beans about Trig being her child (not Sarah’s!). oopsy!

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=568408]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Shit, I was just going off Arizona “breaking news”. (that’s supposed to be a joke).

  • indygirl

    PS: Are we sure Sarah even realizes it happened in the USA? “Gulf” can refer to any number of locations….and you know how geographically retarded she is.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568423]indygirl[/re]: Details? Link?

  • Words

    [re=568411]Bearbloke[/re]: I like the way you think.

  • Words

    And BTW, thanks for update edition. A lot of people have no idea what this will do not only to the wild life in the immediate vicinity but also to migratory animals. The beaches will smell like shitty oil for decades. These people depend on fishing and tourism to make their nut to make it thru the year. I cannot begin to tell you how much this situation Sucks Major Nasty Donkey Dicks!!…

    Oh and screw Sarah!

  • indygirl

    [re=568416]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Was that baby really Todd’s, or the apartment neighbor Curtis Menard’s?

  • indygirl
  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568415]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It was only a matter of time before the GOP turned on Lincoln. If they think President Obama’s a socialist, well what do they think of the Emancipation Proclamation? A confiscation of individual property, a huge government power grab, and instantly creating millions of poor voters? Internally they never really wrapped themselves in the “party of Lincoln” designation — that’s just to put out when company comes over.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=568432]indygirl[/re]: sorry, but that blog suX0rs.

  • obfuscator

    [re=568433]SayItWithWookies[/re]: the best/worst part about lincoln and the gop is that the republican revolution started when the party realized that they could win elections by pandering to the southern douchefucks who were the descendants of the people who hated lincoln for taking away their right to use human beings as livestock.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568433]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Of course the Good Xtian ‘Merkins of the GOoPers would turn on Lincoln – not only was he a FascistCommunistMuslinStatistNiggarlurver like n0bamer, but Lincoln was a Poofter to boot!

  • El Pinche

    [re=568433]SayItWithWookies[/re]: They’re going to start making up pre-forefathers mythical patriots to fit their needs, sort of like the fourth Beatle.

    It was a man named Michael Limbeck who taught Lincoln everything. However Lincoln was on his own when it came to the negroes…

  • El Pinche

    Can the companies like Exxon and BP quit making those bullshit commercials with pelicans, dolphins, and green grass now?

  • foulmouthed mrscreant

    [re=568416]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Probably because he cut break lines on school buses but more likely he wanted to get the fuck out.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568436]obfuscator[/re]: I like to call them The Party with the Same Name as the Party of Lincoln. Republicans just adore that — though it doesn’t seem to bother them that they want to be remembered for something they ditched 42 years ago.

    [re=568438]Bearbloke[/re]: He was more interesting for the little use he had for the strictly pious. He was far more a deist/pantheist than a Christian, though that’s not too harped on. At any rate, the homo stuff is pretty sketchy — and if you remember the beginning of Moby-Dick when Ishmael wakes up in Queequeg’s arms, those were different times.

    [re=568439]El Pinche[/re]: Glenn Beck has, for the last year or so, been diligently working on an Extreme Makeover of our founding fathers (all pious Christians), Calvin Coolidge (laissez-faire hero, widely slandered by evil progressives) etc. etc. He’s less inventing heroes than completely working the existing material into what he’d like it to be.

  • austintxx

    [re=568435]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Read it and weep. The truth.

  • obfuscator

    [re=568442]SayItWithWookies[/re]: glenn beck’s origins discovered! blame canada.

  • El Pinche

    [re=568411]Bearbloke[/re]: Not sure about deliberately, but I bet they fucked up. That’s why they went muslin and now Haliburton KBR is UAE-based Now they can fuck our shit up in the safety of Allah. Otherwise, Obama would fuckin socialize their ass and make them pay.

  • El Pinche

    [re=568446]obfuscator[/re]: Crazy like a fanatic .. FOX!! Coincidence ??!!

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568446]obfuscator[/re]: “The Russian Communists – The Killer Bees – They’re like THIS!”

  • kudzu

    That oil spill must be a fucking socialist; first for spilling precious Republican oil that Jesus wanted to use to fill up his Hummer and secondly for fucking up coastal areas of red states instead of blue ones.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568446]obfuscator[/re]: I’m dizzy. Usually the satire is supposed to follow the reality. In this case I guess Beck is so confident there’s an audience of suckers out there that he doesn’t even bother to hide the absurdity of his claims. Maybe it’s a cry for help — like if he couldn’t stop talking about the case of a girl who was raped and murdered in the 1990s, but that had never been tied to him, but he kept hoping somebody would call him on it.

  • obfuscator

    [re=568456]SayItWithWookies[/re]: kind of like mark foley sponsoring bills that target pedophiles who use the internet to pursue kids. ironical.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=568445]austintxx[/re]: Sorry, didn’t realize it was the quintessential Palinfo HQ.

  • Zorg

    So sorry, I remember when I was a Hitlerjügend and we had to move all of those people out of München to that place, what was it called? Dachaü? It was so sad, but it had to be done, for Die Herrenrasse, you know. Und now this Erdöl. I am just out of words. Help me, volk!

  • bloatedwhitetruck

    My mailman says Sarah is targeted by the liberal media and her statements are always taken out of context. Feels she would make a fine President. He sends money to Hannity’s Freedom Alliance charity and is proud that both of his sons are serving in Iraq, killing the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11. He brags that he stood in line for 4 hours to meet the ex-governor and somehow managed to shake her hand AND get her autograph. He will go on forever about his encounter with “Sarah” and starts up with some kinda spastic hip thrusts as the story progresses to the point where he actually touched her paw. Without fail, each and every time he does the little hip thingie. This has been witnessed by several of my employees. Our lives are charmed.

  • Capitol Hillbilly

    I believe Thomas Jefferson said it best: “History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men.”

  • Capitol Hillbilly

    She “lived thru” it, people! Show some compassion!

  • peeno nwar

    [re=568327]zhubajie[/re]: Would you?

  • peeno nwar

    “All industry efforts must b employed.” Good to know that no volunteering would be allowed, since that would make baby Ayn Rand cry, or something.

  • Bruno

    OH MY GOD, FREE oil is lining the coast of America! Our dreams our coming true. Let’s fill up our gas tanks with that sweet sweet crude. So what if a few otters and feathers get in there too?

  • thebanker

    drill and spill, baby, drill and spill.

  • TJBeck

    There is no issue about which Sarah Palin is not a victim.

  • Geogre

    “Industry efforts must b employed.

    Worse than passive voice is passive txt. SaraPACT (the thing what her followers make) is looking for an invisible hand invisibly compelled by invisible ethics for invisible goods.

    This is a first draft of the position that SaraPACT is going to take publicly in the future. Let’s all settle in for an enlightened discussion of how “industry” has a statutory and internal desire and habit of cleaning up after itself, how it never drops harms onto governments and populations and moves across borders.

  • Way Cool Larry

    [re=568462]bloatedwhitetruck[/re]: like, ewwWWW.

    Let’s hope there is only a small segment of society that has this particular mutant gene leading to severe retardation– though I fear it is much more prevalent than we’d like.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568460]Zorg[/re]: If you move to Arizona you may be able to find employment putting microchips in ‘Messicans. For US ‘Murrica and the Xtian Jeebus. Es wird besser als vorher sein.

    As for the oil. Verdammte Schande. Like Ploesti.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    You need to record this for the Youtube Gods.

  • Sparky McGruff

    [re=568464]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Win. Won’t someone stop the oil from wiping out the blue oysters?

  • Hoplight

    [re=568421]Jumping Jim[/re]: Don’t cry for me British Petrol’m . . .

    Oh, and Fuck you, Sarah Palin

  • prestochango

    I wonder if she feels bad enough yet to make her future statements through a ball gag. That would really improve the impact of what she has to say, in my opinion. We wouldn’t have to even try to figure out what the hell she means.

  • Mr Blifil

    Ankle deep in swamp, swabbing baby egret’s eyes with a Q-tip or GTFO.

  • El Pinche

    [re=568462]bloatedwhitetruck[/re]: He can thank Obama for USPS’s EEO policies for allowing the mentally challenged (reeeeeeetards).
    Monsieur is right. I’ll send you a….uh, an old samsung phone from 1998 if you record it and post it on the youtube.

  • Katydid

    [re=568304]Shitty the Clown[/re]: Meh, not all women hate that word. I, myself a (looks down), woman, use it often. Since I’m an Anglophile and a Socialist, I include men when using the word “cunt” as well. Both sexes can be dicks and cunts and pricks. Sarah Palin is all 3, coincidentally.

    The problem is that lately the teatards and their masters are so awful that “cunt” doesn’t cut it; you have to pile on and sometimes hyphenate. For example, Glenn Beck is no mere cunt, he is a motherfucking, cocksucking pigfucking cunt, on his best days.

    I don’t advocate calling random women “cunt;” some women do hate it. But consider this: one time, during a bitter divorce, my ex was trying hard to hurt me, and he called me a “cunt,” then looked really nervous. I burst out laughing, because it was so pathetic. What, was I going to faint dead away? Have heart failure? Bitch please.

  • bitchincamaro

    I suggest we send Shelby to the next BP shareholder meeting.

  • geminisunmars

    [re=568491]Katydid[/re]: Perhaps it was the milieu in which I grew up, but I never minded “cunt”. Now, “twat” — that is offensive.

  • petedinger

    Doesn’t she mean “deployed? Not “employed”. Or is having a vocabulary too elite?

  • Tuna Industry Payback

    Why do you think they call it ‘Twitter’?

  • Katydid

    [re=568495]geminisunmars[/re]: I forgot about twat. That’s all right by me, as long as you are socialist about it and use it for men too, like the Brits. Actually, I don’t think I’ve heard a Brit call a woman a twat, but they use it often enough for men. And they pronounce it funny.

  • mustardman

    Yawn, oh yea gubmit is bad. Let the private sector figure it out and when they screw up and the financial system melts down or the entire gulf coast is coated in oil then you blame the evil gubmit for not doing enough.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568496]petedinger[/re]: Silly, she means they should be paid a salary, not made to do work. For maybe the first time, Gover Palin has used the right word, even if it wasn’t intentional.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=568491]Katydid[/re]: Don’t forget asshole – for some reason, a lot of people don’t think of it as an equal opportunity insult, even though last time I checked we all have one. And I’m with South Park – neither “retard” nor “faggot” have anything to do with IQ or homosexuality anymore, but behavior.

  • Berkeley Bear

    To put her bs claims in perspective I “lived/worked” thru the following events from 1989-1994:

    Hayward/Bay Area Quake (I was, admittedly 300 miles away, but still in California, so it counts)
    Fatal Berkeley Fraternity house fire (2 miles away)
    Berkeley/Oakland Hills Fire (3 miles away, mandatory evacuations 3 blocks away, had to go to San Jose for a couple days with my then girlfriend because her college was shut down)
    Hostage taking crazy dude in Hotel Durant (3 blocks away)
    Rodney King Riots (ended 2 blocks from my parents house)

    So apparently I’m qualified to comment on wildfires, earthquakes, domestic terrorism, civil unrest, the dangers of smoking and drinking, smoldering fires, poor fire suppression system maintenance, racial injustice, swat team response times. Good to know – I’m going to remember that when I apply to be the head of FEMA.

  • geminisunmars

    [re=568502]Berkeley Bear[/re]: And you can see Alcatraz from your house, don’t forget. So Prison System expert.

  • Geogre

    [re=568502]Berkeley Bear[/re]:
    That’s all?

    Man! I was 2 miles away from the WTC on 9/11, teaching a group of 5th graders and wondering which of them were orphans. Then I was on a subway train 200′ above the Bronx River when the power went out to the NE U.S., and we all thought it was 9/11-the-revenge.

    This is after I moved from NC after Hurricane Fran made a direct hit on me, personally, because Pat Robertson hates me.

    I then moved from NYC to Baltimore, so Hurricane Isidore (ok, but it was a hurricane) could spit at me and worked as a teacher when the school district “discovered” that it had a budget of -$140,000,000.00 and Lt. Gov. Michael Steele was showing how much malfeasance he could do as the governor denied help to Democratic Baltimore schools and Mayor O’Malley tried to put a million shots of Ungentine on ten million cuts.

    I am far, far, far more qualified to rule on why the people of the Gulf Coast have no complaints and why they need to say a prayer to the corporations and trust in Their wisdom than Sarah Vain and Tall is.

    (And now I live so deeply in the South that there is little natural disaster to be done to the place.)

  • V572625694

    [re=568501]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Yeah, but aren’t these terms (retard, faggot) like the n-word, in that the affected group gets to decide whether they’re offensive or not? You can’t imagine how common it used to be to hear people say, “He really Jewed me down on that deal,” and when someone expresses disgust, they say, “Well, I didn’t mean it that way.” Or “This guy is acting like a nigger–I don’t mean it that way, because I’m not a racist.” In almost every case the person is a racist, and does mean it that way: that is, they want to evoke the negative characteristics that are part of that stereotype but in some way they imagine is not offensive to the affected group.

    Whereas cunt and twat and asshole are just rude names for body parts.

    Which reminds me: As I recall you’re an Australian, but probably too young to remember Rolf Harris’ great and only hit song in the US, “Tie Me Kangaroo Down,” which contained the memorable lines no one here understood at the time….

    Let me Abos go loose, Bruce.
    Let me Abos go loose.
    There of no further use, Bruce,
    So let me Abos go loose.

    If I’m not mistaken “Abo” is an offensive term for the indigenous people of Australia, amiright? I’m sure Rolf wasn’t a racist, or would have claimed as much. Ha ha! It was a joke!

  • Flanders

    [re=568420]saladgirl[/re]: Me, too – It’s not a word I like or use, or like other people to use around me, except for that dumb Snowbilly cunt.

  • Whiskeybaby

    Repeal the first amendment!!11!!
    Sure, we’d lose a lot of our personal freedomz but on the upside…no more Twitter.

  • Flanders

    [re=568504]Geogre[/re]: I lived and worked in downtown Seattle during WTO – makes me an expert on tear gas, anarchists, giant turtles and world trade issues!


    [re=568504]Geogre[/re]: 2 miles from the WTC? I was a few hundred yards away. What does that make me? Some sort of professor of terrorism studies. That sucks…on the bridge during the black out . Yuck. I was in the 42nd street library. I came out, everyone was swarming up from the subways. A lot of people were convinced it was Al Qaeda…I was like not sure, so I left the city that night.

  • bbqboy

    Hurricane Isidore! Those were the days…..

  • RoscoePColtraine

    What have the good people of Florida, Alabama, Miss Ippy and Loo-si-anna done to anger the LORD so? One wonders.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    I lived through a mild to moderate earthquake once, so I’m an expert on plate techtonics.

  • Starrigavan

    [re=568302]chascates[/re]: LOL!

    So, not drilling right now for oil that would be produced in 5 or ten years is causing oil prices to go up?

  • slappypaddy

    [re=568505]V572625694[/re]: thanks. now i’ve got that song stuck in my head.

    “tan me hide when i’m dead, fred,
    tan me hide when i’m dead.”

    “so we tanned his hide when he died, clyde,
    and that’s it hanging on the shed.”

  • Starrigavan

    Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay More

    Spill Baby Spill

    Volcano Monitoring? Who Needs Volcano Monitoring?

    Now we know that Conservatives lack a sense of irony, but it is slowly becoming apparent that they lack any understanding of the world outside the front door.

  • Senhor Tambor

    V572625694:>>Rolf Harris’ great and only hit song in the US, “Tie Me Kangaroo Down,”<<<

    Holy Cats! I remember that one, too! FUCK! I’m REALLY OLD!

  • Rasvar

    Or can we just launch Sarah Palin into space instead? WE TOTALLY HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY FOR THAT!

    Yeah, but we have to do it fast! We won’t even have that technology next year. (Unless of course you don’t want to include life support or any possibility of return, then we can use an old rocket)

  • sati demise

    One more clusterfuck from the Bush Supreme court decision.

    With Dick Cheney letting the oil companies write their own regulations, expect even more of these ‘events’.
    Another whistleblower has come out saying another rig called the Atlantis is even worse than this one.

    We should have a complete moratorium on off shore oil pumping and drilling until all of these rigs pass inspections.
    Put new and tough regulations in place NOW.
    At least tough enough to keep up with Brazil and Norway.

    Man, the legacy of Cheney the dick continues.

  • El Pinche

    It’s all fun and games to call this “NOBAMA’S KATRINA” until the liberal media and/or the DNC start playing old footage of dead bloated bodies floating in flood waters and an arena full of dying people while Bush and McCain cut a birthday cake.
    There’s quite a difference between a city wiped out by a hurricane and repeatedly flooded by faulty levees versus an oil slick possibly caused by a company once lead by Dick Cheney. I say wingnuts, go for it.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=568505]V572625694[/re]: Sadly, you have me and Bearbloke confused. No Down Under in me.

    The point a SPark episode recently made is one George Carlin used to make often – language’s meaning is up to us as a society. If we collectively stop using a term in a way that it applies to a particular group, it would no longer apply to that group. They chose the word faggot and applied it to asshole bikers, in a way that had nothing to do with homosexuality. Retard in popular culture has basically evolved the same way to apply to general stupidity rather than the prior clinical term of IQ below 70. If it keeps going that way, and the medical community stops using it clinically at all, it won’t have a connection at all. Although if people just stop using it at all, I’m okay with that, too.

    Jew, kike, negro, n@@@er – those haven’t evolved that way.

  • Bluerinse

    “America has spent the last thirty years telling itself how bad its own government is. This has not been an accident, and it has produced precisely the intended effect: a weakened public sector and a discrediting of the concept that government – as a representative of the public interest – is a legitimate actor for controlling private interests with private agendas. The damage done has been enormous. Unfortunately, we can’t blame the Ruskies or some other foreign bogeyman for this one. The bad news is that our country has been wrecked. The worse news is that we’ve done it to ourselves.”

  • An Outhouse

    “I repeat the slogan “drill here, drill now” not out of naiveté or disregard for the tragic consequences of oil spills …”

    I repeat it because my ignorant worshipers can’t possibly understand anything more sophisticated plus I get $100,000 everytime I say it.

  • V572625694

    [re=568534]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Sorry about the identity confusion. You make a good point; language grows and evolves, can’t be pinned down permanently even by lexicographers (the grammar nerd term for grammar nerds). There have to be some areas of agreement, though.

  • gurukalehuru

    OT, but Virginia, tired of seeing Arizona get all the attention, has upped the stakes in the great American retardathon. Republican Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli has, of his own volition, released a new version of the state seal, with both breasts covered.

  • An Outhouse

    [re=568383]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: “OT, but breaking Racist Arizona news.. Apparently a Sheriff’s Deputy was shot by an alleged illegal immigrant during a “routine traffic stop”. ”

    Apparently an ‘illegal alien’ with several bales of pot. When someone is caught with large amounts of illegal drugs, why is the term ‘illegal alien’ used? I would have thought such an individual might be a ‘drug dealer’ or ‘drug cartel member’. But I didn’t attend J-school so what do I know.

  • Darkness

    [re=568522]Starrigavan[/re]: Given the elevated rate at which their 16 year old angels get preggers, I don’t think they have a clue inside their own houses either.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=568515]NYNYNY[/re]: You NY all think the world revolves around you. I somehow managed to be traveling both on 9/11 and the blackout. The first time got stuck in Greanbrae California for a week (which wouldn’t have sucked if my family weren’t in Indianapolis at the time) and almost got stranded in NC the second time. So I guess I’m a transportation expert as well.

  • Beanz on Toast


    I once experienced a certain, ahem, “looseness of the bowels” after a night out in NOLA. So do I have to be in charge of cleaning up after British Pootroleum?

    BTW I also once borrowed $10 from my Dad and never gave it back, so can I be CEO of Goldman Sachs?

  • windupbird

    I am working/living through a boil-water order in Boston. That makes me an expert in gastrointestinal disorders. It’s a good thing that I’m in the habit of washing my hair in Evian.

  • Geogre

    Sarah Vain and Tall is right.

    We must allow things to “be tried” by “industry” … things like sending prostitutes and cocaine to the Bush administration Minerals Management Service (2008). I’m sure that the dangerous and shoddy oil rig stories we’re hearing about are unrelated in every way to the “industry efforts” that resulted in snorting crystal meth off of toaster ovens, humping the “oil representatives” (pro temp. (aka women of negotiable affections who were given temporary positions to assume the position)), and cash bribes.

    Lest anyone forget:

    On the other hand, those of us who disagree are obviously wrong. We were wrong when, back in New York, 500,000 of us marched against the Iraq War on Valentine’s Day 2003 and got dismissed as “ACORN driven” (even though I had never heard of the group then and didn’t see them there) and got little to no television coverage, and certainly no questions asked (repeatedly) at every press conference about us. In comparison, 5,000 Tea Party Express people can get full day coverage and repeated questions, because they’re right. You know how we know they’re right? What made them right? What makes Sarah Vain and Tall a “Republican Star” despite no political wins?

    These people have “industry efforts,” just like Sarah says.


    I remember after 9/11 Sarah tweeted “Havng livedthru 2 moosestampedes I knw what NYC is going thru. R prayers r w/u. All of Alqaeds resources must go to fxing this.”

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568519]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I lived thru a NZ vs Oz test match, so that makes me an expert in Riot Control!

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568552]Bearbloke[/re]: There’s a match next week-end – I hope my training holds!

  • petedinger

    [re=568500]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You’re right. My bad. I should’ve realized that the good Gov. transcends all that logicky, thinky stuff.

  • the wiz

    Have you no shame sir? At long last have you no shame?

  • Tyroanee

    So she can see the oil slick from her twitt-ass page? And now claims that when she was over 8 months pregnant she was cleaning up after EXXON Valdez..??? Sarah honey this ones gonna be a BIG stretch, even for you.

  • Tyroanee

    So she can see the oil slick from her twitt-a$$ page? And now claims that when she was over 8 months pregnant she was cleaning up after EXXON Valdez..??? Sarah honey this ones gonna be a BIG stretch, even for you.

  • rocktonsammy

    no live blogging the funny dinner thing?

  • CanadianBacon

    I would imagine Jonah Goldburg is working on his next book, Environmental Jihad. The book that explains how liberals use the term environmental destruction and conservatives don’t, so that proves liberals are the one’s destroying the environment. Next will be Sarah Palins book,You Betchya, explaining that had we drilled oil wells thirty years ago in the gulf and sucked up all the oil back then this would not be happening now and how we have to protect future generations by drilling now.

  • Tuna Industry Paybacks

    Well, that didn’t take long. Conservatards are sowing the “it probably blown up by librul marxist eco-terrists” seeds far and wide. Fuckwads.

  • What? No!

    1. Drain the Gulf (TEMPORARILY!!!)
    2. Cap Well
    3. Refill the Gulf (SEE??)
    4. Restock with minnows (school kids can do this)

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=568559]CanadianBacon[/re]: Next will be Sarah Palins book,You Betchya, explaining that had we drilled oil wells thirty years ago in the gulf and sucked up all the oil back then this would not be happening now and how we have to protect future generations by drilling now.

    The retards in my neck of the woods are already saying this crap.

  • zhubajie

    [re=568433]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Free Soil was a big part of Lincoln’s platform. Sure doesn’t sound like the present day GOP (Giant Octopus Party).

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Now let me get this straight. The British Petroleum Company is screwing up my pristine Alabama beaches and kill those beautiful fat Alabama shrimp with oil they were going to sell to China? And any of this would have potentially benefited me how?

  • Words

    [re=568563]What? No![/re]: You cannot restore the Delta, marsh lands, the Keys, etc., in 20 years. And guess what!?! Coming soon !! to the East Coast!! Sweet, crude petroleum!! Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen, you too can share in the bountiful-it-just-keeps-on-giving oil spill from Your Host, BP!!

    Yes, you are the lucky winners of the Gulf Stream Special!!!

    And if these SOBs from BP don’t get this sucker capped, or least under control and under over 200,000 gallons of sweet crude a day, Ireland will be the next to experience the joy of sweet crude from your hosts, BP!! The Gulf Stream is why there are palm trees in Ireland. Yes, yes, I have witnessed it!!

    Sorry, I’m Irish, I’ve been in me cups, and dammit, this is serious. But if these assholes don’t get it contained (I’m including the administration in on this), then you’ll be whistling Dixie for your next fresh catch of shrimp, regular crab claws, and oysters for, oh, I think probably 50 years, according to the experts. You’ll be paying a hefty price for ANY fresh fish, if this shit isn’t contained and/or stopped, in the next 30-45 days, for eternity!!! (or at least as you can remember, since Jon Stewart said the world will end in 2012).

    The wonderful thing @ ranting at 10:45 Central Standard Time is that NO one will respond, methinks. And I spelled all this correctly or my spell-check thingie isn’t working…..

    Oh, and Go Super Saver!!!! Burell is the best Jockey in the World!–

  • zhubajie

    Maybe she’ll compensate’m all with chickens!

  • zhubajie

    “…then you’ll be whistling Dixie for your next fresh catch of shrimp, regular crab claws, and oysters for, oh, I think probably 50 years, according to the experts.”

    That’s assuming there’ll be no more oil spills! I figger there’ll probably be a LOT more oil spills. BP is not the most careful outfit in the world. (Check out their record of refinery explosions!)

  • Zulu

    Aw shit, I’m a little late to this blog today…sorry folks. Hey, did anybody else say it yet? Well here goes…”Shut the fuck up you dumb cunt!”

  • zhubajie

    Conservatards could, like, *conserve*, you know. That’d be better than drilling, except they might actually have to walk to the supermarket!

  • zhubajie

    [re=568518]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: A million preachers will tell us, if they haven’t already! I’m about to tune in to my favorite, Brother Stair! Who’ll probably count it as fulfillment of a prophecy he made of nuclear war in 1989.

  • DDD

    I always thought it was “let me elbows go loose.”

  • dijetlo

    …and it turns out that shoddy work on the part of Haliburton is likely the cause of the disaster…hmmmm.
    Well, it just goes to show you that anybody can screw up, but if you’re in the market for a full on, cold banging, Greek fucking tragedy, accept no substitutes.
    Haliburton, the name you can trust for all your epic fuck up needs.

  • dijetlo

    [re=568573]zhubajie[/re]: Apparently God didn’t think much of Jindals response to the SOTU either.

  • I Heart Accuracy

    [re=568546]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Judge Richard L. Bohanon. Tough to get better than that story.

  • Scooter

    Sure, 30 years ago BP executives could have ordered the development of fool-proof remote-controlled safety valves for all offshore rigs, but that would have taken 0.0000001% off the stock price for a day or two. All that money they saved back then can now be used to finance the propaganda campaign that is already underway. This is all just standard Harvard Business School shit.

  • I Heart Accuracy

    Sorry, Ben, but it just isn’t working out. Because I subscribe to WSJ, I’ll be taking over the Fed starting Monday. Just got appointed. Very hush hush. It’ll be all over the place tomorrow, before most of you say hello to your spouse.

  • Minnie Mean

    jesus fraking crisco – I hope someone else has posted this already but I don’t have time or brian cells left to read all the comments:
    you know she could hoover up all that oil in her “special place” if she wanted to, but she won’t. so there. ALSO!

  • ja

    I kid you not, this chick makes Bush look like Goddamn Aristotle

  • rambone

    Sarah’s right! Anyone can espouse adherence to the free market in good times.

    Only someone with real principles could insist on relying solely on market forces in order to deal with one of the biggest man-made disasters in a generation. Either that or a fucking idiot cunt.

  • Beanball

    not only is she a cunt, but she’s a faggot retard, too & also.

  • Needz moar guns

    [re=568505]V572625694[/re]: Surely you’re not forgetting Six White Boomers. It was very big in my part of Canada. Nice to know there are other old people here.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate
  • Carrabuda

    [re=568575]dijetlo[/re]: True till it ain’t funny. Even some righties are pointing the finger at Halliburton.

    Excommunication for these RINOs in 5…4…3…

  • TJBeck

    [re=568525]Rasvar[/re]: Why waste a rocket? I say we blast her into space using three crates of dynamite and an old recliner. It will work (not teh space part, but same effect).

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568546]Berkeley Bear[/re]: The world does indeed revolve around us. And now I am doubly an expert on terrorisms cause I was near the WTC on 9/11 and in Times square for this:

    I like to think that it was my hard won aforementioned expertise that kept the latter from being any worse.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=568295]Terry[/re]: I have proof that the elite Acorn deep sea diving seal team was in the area just before the explosion occurred.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Acorn is surely behind the Times Square attack as well. Consider the evidence chain:

    Car bomb -> propane tanks -> outdoor cooking -> picnic -> squirrels -> acorns

    Could it be any clearer?

  • Gun-toting Progressive

    [re=568546]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Same here. I flew from Dulles to LAX on 9/10, and was in Seattle for the NYC blackout. I also have friends who were delayed due to the Iceland volcano, so I think I’m a vulcanologist now. Of course, living in Arizona, I’m an expert on Immigration law. I really should go update my resume.

  • weejee

    Twodaze we ur all xpertz

  • El Pinche


    Empty car-> non-suicide-bomber->Pussy teabagger/militia fuckwad

  • One Yield Regular

    Doesn’t her all-American husband actually WORK for BP?

  • Bob Sanderson

    The gleeful “Drill, Baby Drill” doesn’t sound as cute and smart in the Gulf of Mexico today. Words and actions have consequences but most times the consequences are not immediate and the ultimate repercussions can be catastrophic. The warnings from scientists about the risks and dangers to the health of the gulf from deep off shore drilling needed to be tragically experienced since it seemed bumper sticker language was going to pass for national dialogue, public policy, research and patriotism.

  • Downtheroadapiece

    [re=568591]TJBeck[/re]: I say we put together a fund to send her up on the last space shuttle mission this fall. While it’s at the ISS, make sure she’s the only one on the orbiter when it “accidentally” becomes unattached. I will happily give her shiny little dot of a sarcophagus orbiting overhead a proud FU until it eventually tries to fall back into the atmosphere and burns up. Or maybe the crew can find some way to get her sucked out of an airlock somehow. Either way.

    If that doesn’t come together, then I’ve got an old recliner to donate to the cause.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568603]Bob Sanderson[/re]: Next you will be telling us that the snowstorms last February don’t mean that Global Warming is a lie. And that Jeebus did not ride around on the back of a dinosaur hiding fossils to test our faith.

  • Mr Blifil

    12,000 views? Really?

  • the problem child

    [re=568602]One Yield Regular[/re]: Nah, he quit. It’s a family thing.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=568606]Mr Blifil[/re]: Lots of people go online and google ‘sarah palin is a stupid cunt’ which properly returns this article on the first results page. C’est logique.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568603]Bob Sanderson[/re]: I like to think there are ways that drilling for oil can be done safely — maybe even offshore. However, having a program where the oil industry imposes voluntary safety standards on itself isn’t the way to do it. Self-oversight isn’t oversight at all, and self-regulation has never resulted in anything but disaster. That conservatives can still argue, after the obvious debacle of industry self-regulation since Reagan, that their core economic belief still stands is testament to their delusional outlook.

  • artpepper

    [re=568603]Bob Sanderson[/re]: The warnings from scientists

    Silly, science is a conspiracy to make people hate the Bible.

    And now because we live in Bizarro universe, they are saying that the oil spill will make it harder to pass energy legislation.

  • Neilist

    After reviewing all these posts, I’m compelled to ask a question (or two):

    Do any of you Wonktards really think that any of this matters, e.g., that there will be any meaningful consequence between the total disconnect between Palin and her ilk, on the one hand; and the facts/logic/science/history, on the other hand?

    We (both the US and the industrialized world as a whole) are on a track driven in part by population pressure; exhaustion of non-renewable power sources; and the results of use of such resources (e.g., global warming). Wishful thinking to the contrary, there is absolutely no reason to believe that the human species will not go through, in the relatively near future, the same sort of cycle that other species (including humans) go through under such circumstance, e.g., a massive population collapse/die-off (if not extinction).

    The BP oil spill will have zero meaningful consequences in this context. If BP is fined, the fine will be only a small fraction of the damage (if it is paid at all). Further, BP simply will tax the costs onto the price — which we have to pay, because we an oil dependent economy (and will remain so, if only because implementation of “green technology” cannot keep up with the birth rate, etc.).

    On the other than, if BP goes bankrupt, the niche simply will be filled with other energy company working the same way, under the same constraints.

    If you follow the facts and logic through to a reasoned conclusion (and avoid getting bogged down by historically irrelevant ideas like “morality”), the “solution” is to start the die-off sooner rather than later . . . say, by “writing off” sub-Saharian Africa, closing off Mexico.

    Also, those with the resources (i.e., the $$$) should go see/experience/enjoy all of the things that future generations are not going to see, e.g., the Great Barrier Reef, polar bears, African big game animals. Oh, and Whooping Cranes. They’ll be gone, too. Along with the dodo, the roc, the passenger pigeon, the large mammals that inhabited North America before 40,000 years ago, before mankind crossed over the land bridge that used to join Snowbilly’s backyard with Siberia.

    Several years ago, one of you wrote something in here to the effect that “Oh, remember how Hitler was defeated by the snarky comments in the cafes of Weimar Germany?” That struck me at the time, and still does. Palin and company care about as much about things like Wonkette (and science, facts, and reason) as Hitler and his pals carried about the snarky plays of Bertolt Brecht.

    The Weimar Jews, gypsies, and intelligentisa would have been better served buying train and boat tickets than theater tickets. We all might be better served doing something more productive than typing away in here.

    But probably not: It’s not going to make any difference. Better to sit back, pop a beer, and watch the whole thing burn. At least with nukes, it’s not going to take as long as the Sack of Rome.

    “We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when
    But I’m sure we’ll meet again some sunny day
    Keep smiling through, just the way you used to do
    Till the blue skies chase the dark clouds far away . . . .”

    [P.s. The last flight of the Graf Zepplin is departing in 15 minutes. Please board immediately — if you have tickets!]

  • geminisunmars

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: Last night I was despairing of humankind and their (our) greed and stupidity. My husband, as he is wont to do, tried to cheer me up by reminding me that humans have ever been stupid, greedy, and venal. As examples he gave dubya, serbo-croatia, and the Spanish Inquisition. I thanked him, mightily cheered, and gave him a good night kiss and had sweet sweet dreams of Iron Maidens.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: And as Stephen Hawkings notes, we’re probably ripe for the picking by hostile aliens…damn, should have stop sending those messages into outer space…oh well, too late probably.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: You should go back and read the previous thread where someone chided me for going on and on and on and…..

    Oh, and I pretty much agree with everything you said here.

  • Starrigavan

    500,000 Alaskans “lived thru” the Exxon Valdez spill also. Our Sarah is so desperate to fluff her woefully thin resume that she’s now citing just being physically present in a state where a disaster occurred as personal experience. Effing amazing.

  • sati demise

    So, does this put industrial hemp on the fast track to legal status?

    Because it is our one best hope for replacing fossil fuels and protecting the environment at the same time.

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: really interesting post. But, Hallibuton going bankrupt would have a great effect as it might give Dick Cheney apoplexy bad enough to kill him. That would not solve the problem, but it would make me feel a little better.

  • Darkness

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: I have to save this post. I was subject to narcolepsy both times I tried reading it and sometimes I get insomnia.

  • hotdog

    “Internally they never really wrapped themselves in the ‘party of Lincoln’ designation — that’s just to put out when company comes over.”

    I’d agree with you if you were only talking about the last 98 years. The GOP hasn’t been Lincolnesque since TR and his followers left it in 1912.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: So my plan is to sip my gin and tonic, world’s last ice cubes tinkling therein, while naked third world whores cavort on a rug made of the skin of the world’s last polar bear.

    Gaudeamus igitur
    Juvenes dum sumus
    Post jucundum juventutem
    Post molestam senectutem
    Nos habebit humus.

  • snideinplainsight

    Can I just say I increasingly find “our prayers are with you” (even more so rendered in tweetspeak) to be horrendously patronizing? Does she not thing the gulf coast people aren’t praying themselves? Is her station with God such that her prayers are that much more effective?

    And the fact that she couldn’t even, in the middle of the worst ecological disaster in American history, resist trying to make a cheap political point (industry vs gov’t action?) At what point does she put aside her ideology and actually recognize federal aid? If there’s no circumstances at all that warrant any recognition that the federal government is of any use, might I be (not the first or last) one to suggest that she just leave?

    Aaaaaagh! Every F**KING thing is about Sarah Palin!

  • Aflac Shrugged

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: My plan was to engrave the hundred most significant Wonkette posts on a sheet of titanium steel, in 4-pitch Times New Roman, and then eat a chip of ice-nine.

  • hotdog

    [re=568625]x111e7thst[/re]: How do you say “Sarah Palin is a cunt” in Latin?

  • Bearbloke


    Vita nostra brevis est
    Brevi finietur.
    Venit mors velociter
    Rapit nos atrociter
    Nemini parcetur.

    G’day Wonkette! So what the story with this South Park dirty-bomb that destoyed NYC on Sat?

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568628]hotdog[/re]: “Cunnus Sarah Palin est”

  • BlueStateLibtard

    [re=568626]snideinplainsight[/re]: I think if the Russians had ever invaded Alaska while she was governor, she would have rather have called up the Alaskan Boy Scouts rather than get federal help, because you know, we need less federal government, not more.

  • Neilist

    [re=568619]sati demise[/re]: “But, Hallibuton going bankrupt would have a great effect as it might give Dick Cheney apoplexy bad enough to kill him. That would not solve the problem, but it would make me feel a little better.”

    An entire personal, and subjective, response. But nonetheless reasonable.

    [re=568617]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Technically, you were “going on and on.” In contrast, I was raving.

    [re=568625]x111e7thst[/re]: Virgil said it better, in fewer words: “Et in Arcadia ego.” If you perfer the Latin, that is.

    [re=568627]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Not titanium steel. Michael Steele’s tanned manhide. That stuff has a half-life longer than plutonium, because it’s so full of bullshit that no nature force can act upon it.

    [re=568622]Darkness[/re]: Remember that sustained use may induce vomiting, and uncontrolled anal discharge.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=568628]hotdog[/re]: Or you might say: “S Palin prostibula (unregistered whore) est”.
    If she has filled out the proper paperwork she gets to call herself a meretrice, but that seems unlikely.

  • sati demise

    [re=568632]Neilist[/re]: And as long as corporations are “people”, I heartily agree with the death penalty in this case.

    As long as they are people they should bear the full brunt of the law just like everyone else.
    So, lethal injection, the electric chair, or the firing squad?

    hmmm…so many choices….is beheading out? with a little waterboarding before hand? How about using oil instead of water?

  • chascates

    Liz Becton

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: But, exactly how does this explain your weapons fetish, sir?

  • artpepper

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: After reviewing all these posts

    That was your mistake right there.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=568543]An Outhouse[/re]: No, I agree with you. I unfortunately reside in this shithole and that’s how it was first reported here.

  • llibra

    [re=568324]Neilist[/re]: Myself, I think Dummkunt is the mot juste.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=568629]Bearbloke[/re]: Actual device apparently relied on firecrackers as a primer/blasting cap equivalent for the device, and that didn’t work out so good (smoke but no boom). He (vodep shows a white male, apparently) did use fake tags on the car, but apparently the keys were on a big ring and they did get fingerprints. All of it suggests this clown won’t be too hard to find. The Pakistani Taliban claimed responsibility but no one is giving them much credit – they’d claim credit if a nightclub in NY caught fire because of bad lighting.

  • hotdog

    [re=568661]Berkeley Bear[/re]: As a member of the white male community in New York, I’m worried that this is going to cause a backlash against our community and lead to racial profiling. We’re not all terrorists, you know.

  • Bearbloke

    [re=568666]hotdog[/re]: Tell it to your pals in Gitmo, you terrorist!

  • llibra

    [re=568575]dijetlo[/re]: Bravo! This rant deserves a monument of its own, placed somewhere on the Mall in DC, your words either incised in polished granite or placed in bronze letters on the finest marble.

  • stinky mcstinkface

    [re=568304]Shitty the Clown[/re]:
    There are many words you could use to describe Sarah – “asshole”, “quitter”, “idiot”, etc. etc. And while she’s all those things and so much more, I have to agree that “cunt” does the best job of conveying the totality of just what an awful, awful person she is.

  • 102415

    “Is she ever going to go back to Alaska?”
    She hates it there and and she’s done so many cunty slippery things that she needs a bigger canvas for her next masterpiece. She’s a shape shifting devil.

  • Geogre

    The obsession with “c-word” is a bit misguided. In American English, it’s generally the most profane term. In British English, it has a much lower prohibition. As such, there were brief periods when feminists tried to “reclaim it,” and there have been various efforts at embracing the “power,” etc. However, that’s all a bit misguided. Languages need words that are so bad that they are reserved for shock. Wonkette’s “snowbilly grifter” is the best descriptor out there for Palin. “Cunt” is weak. It misses the point and substitutes sex for vicious character. (“Dick” has taken on connotations of “obnoxious, willful individual,” but calling Rush Limpbaugh a “penis” would be selling the insult short. Making a sexual reference with Palin excuses her political toxicity and her personal vanity.)

    As for whether or not we are Weimar weenies, the charge is absurd.

    Dissent is power in a democracy, and votes come from all the people who are made to feel alone and isolated by Rovian “everyone watches Fox and the whole nation is against health care reform and I have The Math” mediascapes. So long as comments are not fostering hatred (see above, or see Red, as long as they are not gaining identity in negation (see Tea Party Express, which is so hard pressed to know what it stands for that they sue each other every week, but they’re sure that they’re against us), it’s called keeping up the energy, keeping outrage alive, assuring voters that there is morality (it isn’t a fey or absent quality).

  • 102415

    Here are some factual type facts about the rig and the technology a little ways down the slider in this post here.

    [re=568682]Geogre[/re]: Well now you may be right. However,the Snowbilly Grifter sometimes called Miss Quittypants up north, was first introduced to this here bunch months before Walnuts! got that first good look at her ass as the Governor I Most Want To Fuck. I blame wonkette for introducing her to Mccain. Who, please remember, was railing about the Walnuts! video and must have had computer savy worms checking the posts here. Remember Chief Payne?
    Long story short, cunt is perfect for that cuntish bit of twatter at this point in time.

  • sati demise

    [re=568682]Geogre[/re]: so, Snowbilly Grifter modified by cunt would weaken the descriptor?

  • Neilist

    [re=568635]sati demise[/re]: Re penalty: How about “defenestration”? I always liked that word. But at a minimum, from a window at least six stories up. Over concrete.

    [re=568643]bitchincamaro[/re]: Guns is fun. No other explanation is needed. But you can go back to Goodall’s male chimps throwing empty kerosene cans around to gain social status. (At the range, the same thought is expressed by the statement that “Shooting is way to change money into loud noises.” Particularly given the recent price increases in ammo.

    [re=568657]llibra[/re]: [re=568694]sati demise[/re]: [re=568682]Geogre[/re]: Since we’re finally discussing something meaningful: “Dummkunt” (or “cunt”), despite all the points Geogre makes — has something that “Snowbilly Grifter” and/or “Quittypants” both lack. A perfect term would combine the two ideas somehow.

    But “Snowbilly Dummkunt Grifter” is too long to say intelligibly before you punch one of her supporters in the face. Or shoot them three times. (Whoops. There’s that weapons fetish thing again. Hey, wrap it up in a red leather skirt, and it could run for Vice President!)

  • Neilist

    [re=568692]102415[/re]: Gee, I just got done blaming “this here bunch” for Hitler and the Second World War (albeit indirectly).

    But I think blaming these here poor Wonktards for Sarah “Dummkunt” Palin is a bit over the top.

    I mean, really . . . .

    (Although, maybe you could blame them for “Mooselini”? You known, “La Duce Dummkunto”?

  • Jumping Jim

    I like “Twat” as a description for her. It is evocative of twit and stupid cunt at the same time.

  • Beanball

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: Cheer up, for God’s sake. The world’s population is actually near the top of the old bell curve and about to slid down the slope in a natural, gradual and peaceful manner. We won’t have to shoot, gas, starve, throw people out windows or nuclearize anybody. Unnoticed by most, the reproduction rate of the whole world is dropping like a stone as we speak. Everybody is having fewer babies, including those pesky (& fictitious) Third World octomoms.

    See here: The Coming Population Crash: and Our Planet’s Surprising Future, by Fred Pearce


  • Words

    [re=568692]102415[/re]: You’re probably off-line at this time, but FTR:

    Bill Kristol is responsible for the intro and promotion of Sarah to the GOP, and most particularly to John McCain. He was the pimp, the cheerleader, her main man to getting her noticed and picked up by the ticket (which, of course, didn’t do its due diligence in checking out candidates, at least in this case— maybe she flashed that “Oh, shucks! and grin to her advantage, ya think??)

    So, if blame is to be cast, it’s Kristol’s fault to begin with. But, she was chompin’ at the bit to be noticed, I guarantee!!!! She would’ve turned up at some point. She wanted to bust out of Alaska and onto the national stage, and boy did she.

    Ok, is the talent portion of the debate? (Cue violin!!) per Tina Fey/SNL.

  • Words

    [re=568716]Beanball[/re]: And, BTW, we are eating ourselves and the kiddies into an early grave….. Don’t forget KFC & Micky-D’s!! Supersize Me!!

  • Beanball

    [re=568682]Geogre[/re]: Well said. We might all be well-advised to remember that one inspired person can really change the world, but if there is no one to inspire – or encourage (to “add or inject courage” into another) that change may not come.

    Also: Life may be existentially purposeless, but I personally find meaning in blowing off work to type into the formless void we fondly call Wonkette.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568613]Neilist[/re]: First, I’m saddenedd to hear that you smoked some crappy weed and listened to Pink Floyd today and ended up having some sort of high-school philosophy flashback. Here’s why your argument makes no sense: for every event x (and we can define “event” as loosely as you like), there is a perspective y that is larger than our current view of x and makes x seem insignificant. And since every x has at least one y, it’s impossible to differentiate between any responses to x based on that. Since any response is itself an x with at least one y, by your unfortunately ubiquitous criterion, every possible response is equally valueless.

    If that’s not satisfying enough, then sitting around and talking about stuff has an obvious practical societal value. If someone can persuade me and others that something is important, then maybe people will consider something more thoroughly when they wouldn’t have considered it at all. So what if nobody here’s a lawmaker or a celebrity or a reporter — those aren’t the only people who influence public opinion — not to mention the fact that once the medium exists, the discussions are inevitable. Interacting is a natural part of the human condition. You may as well try to persuade people to only talk about things that had a certain amount of content and necessity.

    Besides which, there’s no rule that says I can’t do this, drink beer and write my two errant but well-meaning conservative Democratic senators some words of encouragement.

  • sati demise

    [re=568703]Neilist[/re]: There is a whole galaxy of Palin gun porn posters in your world, amirite?

  • Neilist

    [re=568722]sati demise[/re]: “a whole galaxy”? Dear heart, A WHOLE UNIVERSE! (In fact, a whole string theory of PARALLEL UNIVERSES!)

    [re=568721]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yeah, yeah, Wooks. You and the rest are contributing meaningfully to democracy, saving the planet, and just in general promoting Right Thinking.

    (Orwell had a great line about idiotic ideas lasting until they run into the real world . . . usually on a battlefield. Happily, that day is coming for industrialized society. My only regret is that I am too old to be around to see the Collapse.)


  • 102415

    [re=568718]Words[/re]: [re=568705]Neilist[/re]:As for Bill Kristol, yeah yeah I heard all about the boat trip. Please, he is a good candidate for a rousing game of three card monte and a born john. I did forget “Mooselini”. Thank you Neilist,that came after the boys stopped looking at her ass and heard the screechy voice but before the tit shot for Runners, Retards and Republicans.Somewhere in there was the Great Turkey Massacre.That was the first real clue she was never to leave our eyes and ears no matter what she did or said. The AP hates Americans.
    I just want to know what happened to poor little Megs McCain? Hengh?

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=568723]Neilist[/re]: Yes, I know it’s not significant enough for you — that was your whole prior point.
    And I definitely agree with the Orwell statement — I would love to see how my neighbor’s ridiculous notion of how a standard poodle should be groomed would work out on a battlefield. Or, for that matter, how silly John Boehner’s notion of tort reform would’ve looked as the Allies advanced on the bridge at Remagen. Or how absurdly the Arizona anti-immigration law would’ve looked to Nelson as he faced Napoleon’s formidable armada — it is only to laugh.

  • snideinplainsight

    Hey, maybe Our Lady Sarah and David Frum could get together over wine and cheese sometime. She’s unwilling to recognize that government action could be helpful – he’s up scamming page views with his “Obama’s Katrina” argument.

  • ElRat

    I’ll find my stash of 7-11 straws and heartily contribute one or two so that SP may help the affected coastal regions …

    Slurp Baby Slurp!!

  • UnattendedConsequence

    [re=568279]Neilist[/re]: Divine Snark. I like it. And it explains so much.

  • PlanetWingnuta

    [re=568317]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: glad to be a part of your educatin’

  • crapshooter102

    Senhor Tambor, V572625694 & slappypaddy; You All aren’t that old. I watched the Chap perform live in 1962 at the Hong Kong Hilton while in the service of Uncle Sam. Great Show, I even danced with a Russian Lady, and that makes me an expert on Communism. Hoo-Rah

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