Immigration-reform rallies will be held in some 80 cities tomorrow, with many thousands of people expected to protest just at Lafayette Square behind the White House. So why will these May Day demonstrations be ignored by the Main Stream Media? There are many good reasons!
- They won’t look as stupid as teabaggers. Lacking tri-corner Olde Hatts and misspelled signs with racist slogans, the somber immigration rallies just don’t make “good teevee” in this era of constant reality freak-show entertainment. Plus, it’s embarrassing to send Brit Hume or whoever out to a rally — who wants to make eye contact with your gardener and nanny out in public?
- It’s White House Correspondents banquet weekend! So many parties! Who wants to go cover news when there’s a 24-hour reach-around to attend?! And if those Mexicans skip dishwashing or valet-lot duty during WHCA dinner-party-time, there will be HELL TO PAY.
- The Kentucky Derby! Rich southern America’s favorite remembrance of slavery takes place on Sunday! Approximately one million reporters with television crews will descend upon Churchill Downs in order to “cover” a two-minute gambling event. Who will win?! A dead sport with no audience the rest of the year, horse racing nonetheless becomes a National Media Sensation for a few hours each year, simply because it’s a habit for the press. Mint juleps, etc.!
- OIL SPILL! If you’re not in DC trying to get a trophy lick off Jay Leno’s sweaty corporate nutsack or knocking over old men in Colonel Sanders’ costumes to get a glance at Gwyneth Paltrow at the Derby, you — as a media professional — will be doing standups along the Gulf Coast somewhere, anywhere, really, with water behind you. The Gulf always looks dirty anyway, so who cares if the shot is off your motel balcony in the Florida Panhandle. That’s the Gulf, right?
So, proud and dignified May Day protesters, that’s why nobody’s going to cover your boring 80 rallies everywhere. But if you poop on an American Flag and then burn it, you might get on the Fox News at least! [LA Times]
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If all the busboys, dishwashers, cooks, construction workers, and landscapers go on strike they would cripple the economy. Go for it.
Hmmmm..wouldn’t this be a good place for INS to just gather all the illegals in one swoop?
Up until this moment, I had no plans for the weekend. However, “get[ting] a trophy lick off Jay Leno’s sweaty corporate nutsack” really sounds like time well-spent.
Thanks, Ken Layne!
Dear Abby: I was looking in the Constitution and the book of Revelation to try and figure out what percentage of a real white Merikkkan an illegal brown equals. I did not find the answer what should I do?
As Ralph Ellison pointed out, the darker your skin, the less visible you are. And the fact that it’s happening on “International Commie Day” makes it even more invisible. So let’s go back to discussing what Lady Gaga will be wearing for the Correspondents’ Bacchanal and Bulimia Festival.
it’s a relief to see that there are no white illegal aliens and no white gangs in this great land where the god-fearing, money-loving white people first sprang from the soil in the mists of time before time, born from the glorious union of mother goose and father christmas.
The police will have big cans of RAID or generic roach spray to gain control on the rallies.
Maybe they’ll think it’s a Cinco de Mayo celebration, and the ensuing tequila will make things lively enough for the teevee to cover them.
The sombrero is the tri-corner hat of Tequila Party Patriots.
I suspect it will be just crowds of brazilian grasshoppers protesting their illegal capturing and detention.
There should be more stripping in here somewhere.
Ken, the world’s a mess and it’s in your text!
¡See how we are, sà se puede!
How much you want to bet that the signs tommorow will contain better spelling and grammar than the native-born mouth drooler rallies?
Dear [re=567900]x111e7thst[/re]:
Abby asked me to respond to your question, to wit: In Amurrica, we speak Amurrican. If you want to live here, learn to speak Amurrican. Until then, a diós, motherfucker. And I can’t see you if I cover my eyes.
Regards,
al-Abama goobernatorial candidate Big-Chin/Lookdown James, son of Fob.
[re=567932]joementum[/re]: X puts the “X” in “MEXCELLENT”.
We are illegals. It’s our job to wash dishes. Whether it’s a cup, saucer, bowl, or some hypothetical fake paper plate, it doesn’t matter. We would wash Jane Brewer’s spitoon if it would give us a chance to scrape by. I didn’t hear America complaining when the early bird special was reduced to $4.99 and everyone was coming in four times a week. Just like picking lettuce, it’s not a problem until you have to do it yourself. I’ve never heard of anyone going to work the fields just because they got comped a manager’s special.
Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you’re only going to hurt yourselves. What’s going to happen when we can’t find jobs in the back of Denny’s? Guess what: You’re going to have to work there. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We’re used to not being allowed to pee when we’re slammed by the early dinner crowd. We don’t take an hour or more for a lunch break because as illegals we can be exploited any which way. We don’t demand a union. We don’t retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we can, and when the only thing left to eat is what’s left over on your dinner plates, we’ll eat that.
I’m thinking the handful of messican flags flown tommorrow Should be good for a minute on fox news.
Will they be microchipped?
[re=567947]comicbookguy[/re]: Microchips and salsa are free with every order.
The audacity of these Brown Americans to march & tie up traffic as the REAL American Olds try to make their way toward the early bird special. “I’ll have the American re-fried beans thank you very much.”
[re=567889]chascates[/re]: If they all went on strike, US business might have to hire some unemployed US citizens–at higher wages than the illegals get. I realize it is racist to have feelings like this. I probably need some re-education. Does La Raza provide any 12-step programs?
These rallies must be ignored because, like previous immigration rallies (not to mention the anti-war rallies back in the day), they’re only going to attract several million people across the country; it’s nothing like the teabagger rallies, some of which managed to attract literally hundreds of protesters.
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: Awesome.
[re=567939]Extemporanus[/re]: I like the way you think! XOXO
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: “And when there was no leftover to be found, we ate sand…”
[re=567959]Aurelio[/re]: The low wages (to us) is what the businesses want to pay. I think if they kept the illegalz out businesses would still find a way to screw us pay-wise. And I’ve been unemployed for 2 years now.
They let journalists eat real food? I thought they were required to live on coffee and captain’s wafers.
First of May, First of May!
Outdoor fucking starts today!
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/First%20of%20May
um… vote for Pedro?
Well, they wouldn’t be doing anything else tomorrow besides “pimping” out their cars and making taco salad.
So things are working out very well for them.
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: Come now. Are you a mexi-CAN, or a mexi-CAN’T?
[re=567969]chascates[/re]: Well, you’re right. US business will always try to screw us. I’m just sayin that with 12 million less drywalleros, there might be some more demand for US construction workers. And BTW, it’s not just construction anymore. Now someone please stop me before I say something racist again.
Finally, an X reference. Good work, Ken!
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: Stealing food from our war veterans that sleep behind the dumpster, HENGH!? For shame, sir. For shame.
…
What?
Mint juleps and derby pie are so much more enticing than a bunch of brown people yelling in furrin language about their “rights” and so forth.
Oh the sun shines bright in my olde Kentucky Home….
[re=567922]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh you too? Figures.
Remember that time when me and 10 million other people took to the streets around the world protesting the upcoming war in Iraq in February 2003? Remember how that changed things so much? Whew – we almost waged an unwinnable war on Iraq! Can you imagine?
Anyway, enjoy your immigration rally, grasshoppers.
[re=567960]JMP[/re]: What if we gave all the browns assault rifles? I bet teabaggers would applaud their freedoms!
You know, you could use that same drawing/picture for one of those “My Name Is Jayzesus Valdez, I’m In The NRA” ads.
After all, those illegally immigrating gangbangers do own a lot of guns.
Although they probably cannot avoid the Life Membership fee.
Being unemployed/unemployable and all that.
Si!
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: So I guess the NRA membership fee is out of the question?
A lot of jockeys have Hispanic names. Will they be on strike on Kentucky Derby day?
[re=568006]comicbookguy[/re]: That’s what the browns need to do, then the NRA pricks would change their tune, just like the Black Panthers got conservatives supporting gun control back in the day.
That picture makes me feel all tingly inside. Oh rough trade, why must you be so hot and alluring?
Uh we’ve got Tea Party crowds of 50 to cover. Maybe you 50,000+ individuals could do something appertaining, like wear silly hats or become stereotypes or mention “heidi montag” or “lady gaga” or start a Twitter meme or something that they media actually understands. J-School lobotomies take a heavy, heavy toll.
What the hell, brain-finger connection, I KNOW I typed entertaining, not appertaining.
[re=567981]Aurelio[/re]: um it’s not that they do work “americans won’t do”–it’s that they do work for MONEY AMERICANS WON’T TAKE FOR SAID WORK.
Not to mention they kick ass at drywalling. If I need a patch done and textured, I am looking for a brown to do it, and I don’t give a shit what documentation he may or may not have.
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: home run. outta the ballpark, that one.
[re=568051]Crank Tango[/re]: According to John McCain, they make 50 bucks an hour picking fruit. I know quite a few Americans, myself included that would be willing to pick strawberries for 50 bucks an hour.
[re=567940]One Yield Regular[/re]: QFT: Awesomesauce +1, Testify!
[re=567960]JMP[/re]: Nailed it.
Nothing clever to offer, other than affirming the cleverness of others.
[re=568031]Tommmcatt[/re]: Stop making me snort…it was Cranky’s turn yesterday dont you do it too!!!!
I will give the Teabaggers credit. They said they were going to energize the majority of Americans. I think it worked. People are sick and tired of their bullshit and are going to start turning out into the streets. If I was a Bagger, I would probably think hard about staying inside. Trying to hold a counter-protest could prove to be counter-productive to their health.
Deport all illegal Mexcrement…I can live with dirty dishes.
[re=568096]biggeek[/re]: No you can’t. You’re a crybaby who expects everyone else to look after you, for free. You’d riot in the street if your pizza took more than half an hour to deliver.
[re=568096]biggeek[/re]: “Mexcrement”, how droll; but no, this isn’t about racism, not at all, you troll.
Racist in the news media, why Fox will be all over this issue I am sure. Pointing out to ICE the various brown folks who should be rounded up, arrested and then deported to someplace where browns are welcome.
[re=567959]Aurelio[/re]: More than enough desperate unemployed that someone else would snap up the job. Law of supply and demand–and there’s plenty of supply in this crappy economy.
All they have to do to get the Texians riled up and there strict attention is the crank the non-ZZ Top real-deal Degüello and declare ¡VIVA MAXIMILIANO GUSTAV RICHARD ALBRECHT AGUSTIN VON GÖTZEN-ITÚRBIDE!
That should just about do it…
film izle
So,if there were no illegals here our economy would collapse?? I don’t think so. We will gladly pay an extra 5 peso’s at Starbucks to know our immigrations laws are being enforced. I say we test your ignorant theory. Take your law breaking ass back to Juarez and lets see if that is all it takes to bring down the greatest country in the history of mankind. Maybe when you get home, TV Azteca will give you some airtime. Adios and enjoy the prison bus ride!
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