Hey, everybody, have you heard about the “mancession”? Now that Sarah Palin has ended sexism forever, as the economy slowly recovers all the ladies are getting elite media jobs or just stone cold finding fun, non-blogging things to do with their lives, because of their people skills and lack of body odor. Meanwhile, dudes are forced to do terrible demeaning tasks for their hobo bean money, like masturbating turkeys and writing jokes about Chuck Grassley’s Twitter. Anyway, long story short, I, Josh Fruhlinger, your Comics Curmudgeon, will be WINNING THE MORNING two mornings a week here at Wonkette, if by “winning” you mean “writing dick jokes about politics during,” and I can’t really imagine any other way you might construe that verb, can you? Also, your beloved Cartoon Violence will be running alternate Fridays, starting up again May 7. OK? OK! Please send tips to the tips line on my mornings especially, because I do not have cable.
YEAH SURE WHY NOT
April 28, 2010
{ 47 comments }
But it sounds so made-up: Josh FRUH-ling-er?
Can we expect Mary Worth to have a greater presence on Wonkette now?
@norbizness: It’s Greek. Or is that Italian today?
This news makes everything better somehow. I might crack open the scotch early. Earlier than 11am that is.
[re=565826]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Depends on the salad. But in the abstract, Italian is the new Greek. Or goy is the new Jewish. Wait, depressed is the new manic. Or, y’kno, I dunno . . .
I for one, welcome our new comic-snarking overlord.
Well, you’ve already started (or uh, seconded) with an alt-text WIN of the morning here.
Too many words. More pichers.
Oh, Christ, ANOTHER ginger Wonkette editor? I think you and Newell should have to fight to the death over a can of hobo beans for our amusement.
This is great news for John McCain! And for Wonkette’s readers.
When you say tips, do you mean “tips”? Just wondering.
[re=565822]norbizness[/re]: I know, wtf kind of name is “Josh” anyway.
Yay! I’ve been missing you Josh. I’ll never forget you actually referenced a “yiff pile in the oval office” and worked it into a cartoon rant. Genius.
I will accept this “Fruhlinger” when I see a long form birth certificate.
Until then, I will protest my Wonkett turning into a sausage fest by posting home made videos on the lack of bewbie opinions and what it means to my day to day feminist plights.
Hooray! I can’t wait to see what Senator Mary Worth has been up to! Can we find out if Brad Ellsworth is really Mark Trail??
Welcome, Josh Fruhlinger. Can you hip us to the morning shift guidelines provided by Mr. Layne? Also, watch out for Mr. Newell. He has a mean temper.
Good luck Josh. I have it on good authority that Jim Newell is handsy with the morning editors.
[re=565851]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yipes. I actually had to Google “yiff.” Yeow.
Not to change the subject, but I just went on the Arizona tourism and travel website, got on their live chat thingee where you can talk to an official representative of the Arizona tourism squad (by internets, of course) and sent them a hardy FUCK YOU! Very satisfying. I feel much better. Now, everybody…
jFruh! What Up? And FINALLY, someone to write in the AM so poor Ken doesn’t have to do it the night before anymore.
This news comes just in time; what with YouTube pulling down all the funnily-subtitled Hitler-loses-it rants from that Downfall movie, I was starting to worry about how I was going to continue to productively fuck off here at work.
[re=565862]vladster[/re]:
You probably told off someone in Bangalore or a state prisoner.
[re=565846]jus_wonderin[/re]: You forgot to wag your fingers.
[re=565861]GeneralLerong[/re]: Now you’re probably wishing you didn’t. This is the end of the innocence.
fuck yeah, dude. fuck yeah!
[re=565862]vladster[/re]: There’s a new option on Google Maps to avoid Arizona.
Also too and likewise welcome Josh to the Mourning Ed and welcome back to Curmudgeoning!!
[re=565867]Terry[/re]: Oh. Hadn’t thought of that. Well, maybe enough folks can crash their server, or something.
More Mark Trail please.
I heard you’d had a nervous breakdown, and went running through the streets, screaming.
Alternate Fridays? Alternate Fridays???22? WTF’s up withat?
Welcome, Josh. We Wonketteers are of course expecting you to live up to the highest standards of your profession, as embodied by “Ken Layne” and the ginger. We demand a steady stream of free entertainment to take our minds off our soul-killing jobs or lack thereof. Dick jokes are good.
I actually had to Google “yiff.”
You and your reverse double-folded entendres.
That panel is brilliant. How long have you held that one in reserve???
@weejee: Not actually, no. Too bad, too.
@Cranky Little Camperette: It’s only a few weeks old.
YAY!
One of my suggestions in that Wonkette Semens Poll Mind Rape Test we all tried to participate in a few weeks back was to institute a “Guest Editor of the Month” (G!E!M!) policy feature-y thing. I don’t know whether this whole Josh situation — and Lauri word drawings situation, too — is a direct result of that, but I’m going to pretend that it is because I have little to no influence over anything else in my empty little life.
Go G.E.M.s!
[re=565861]GeneralLerong[/re]: Here are some more yiff-related words for you to Google. Have a fappy afternoon!
[re=565866]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: Oh man, YouTube axed the re-subtitled Hitler-Downfall-Rant bits? I’m glad I got to watch several thousand of them before they got yanked.
More snark, mule!!!
Bring it, Josh! But when you asked us people with cable (I don’t have cable) to provide tips on your mornings, you might have specified which mornings. Also, never use the first-person voice again.
hey Josh I’m a fellow baltimoron and I’ve missed Cartoon Violence. I can’t wait for your regular morning column. More CV is the cherry on top. Just don’t forget yer roots, hon…
[re=566117]Extemporanus[/re]: We did listen to those suggestions!
[re=566343]Ken Layne[/re]: Thank you, Ken Layne. You are a good man.
Re: turkey, boar, bull, ram, stallion, etc., masturbation, it’s mostly done by immigrants, so when the Arizona Anti-Immigrant Laws take effect, there’ll be loads of jobs there for fat, lazy, white guys! They already know all about masturbating!
[re=565867]Terry[/re]: Re: Bangalore, anyone read _The White Tiger_, by Aravind Adiga?
Has anyone ever written “vagina jokes” about politics? Just wondering.
Oh boy! The C.C. is back! Combining my passions for reading comics, and existentialism and continental philosophy, and dick jokes. Like a Kierkegaardian or Sartre-an textual and visual analysis of the soul-sucking ennui which is comix and the political situation in the United States, delivered to my RSS feed to help me get a bright start on the day! And an excuse to hit the bottle before lunch.
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