SHARE

Walnuts goes a-courtingHey, everybody, have you heard about the “mancession”? Now that Sarah Palin has ended sexism forever, as the economy slowly recovers all the ladies are getting elite media jobs or just stone cold finding fun, non-blogging things to do with their lives, because of their people skills and lack of body odor. Meanwhile, dudes are forced to do terrible demeaning tasks for their hobo bean money, like masturbating turkeys and writing jokes about Chuck Grassley’s Twitter. Anyway, long story short, I, Josh Fruhlinger, your Comics Curmudgeon, will be WINNING THE MORNING two mornings a week here at Wonkette, if by “winning” you mean “writing dick jokes about politics during,” and I can’t really imagine any other way you might construe that verb, can you? Also, your beloved Cartoon Violence will be running alternate Fridays, starting up again May 7. OK? OK! Please send tips to the tips line on my mornings especially, because I do not have cable.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC

47 COMMENTS

  1. [re=565826]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Depends on the salad. But in the abstract, Italian is the new Greek. Or goy is the new Jewish. Wait, depressed is the new manic. Or, y’kno, I dunno . . .

  2. Oh, Christ, ANOTHER ginger Wonkette editor? I think you and Newell should have to fight to the death over a can of hobo beans for our amusement.

  3. Yay! I’ve been missing you Josh. I’ll never forget you actually referenced a “yiff pile in the oval office” and worked it into a cartoon rant. Genius.

  4. I will accept this “Fruhlinger” when I see a long form birth certificate.

    Until then, I will protest my Wonkett turning into a sausage fest by posting home made videos on the lack of bewbie opinions and what it means to my day to day feminist plights.

  5. Welcome, Josh Fruhlinger. Can you hip us to the morning shift guidelines provided by Mr. Layne? Also, watch out for Mr. Newell. He has a mean temper.

  6. Not to change the subject, but I just went on the Arizona tourism and travel website, got on their live chat thingee where you can talk to an official representative of the Arizona tourism squad (by internets, of course) and sent them a hardy FUCK YOU! Very satisfying. I feel much better. Now, everybody…

  7. This news comes just in time; what with YouTube pulling down all the funnily-subtitled Hitler-loses-it rants from that Downfall movie, I was starting to worry about how I was going to continue to productively fuck off here at work.

  8. Welcome, Josh. We Wonketteers are of course expecting you to live up to the highest standards of your profession, as embodied by “Ken Layne” and the ginger. We demand a steady stream of free entertainment to take our minds off our soul-killing jobs or lack thereof. Dick jokes are good.

  9. YAY!

    One of my suggestions in that Wonkette Semens Poll Mind Rape Test we all tried to participate in a few weeks back was to institute a “Guest Editor of the Month” (G!E!M!) policy feature-y thing. I don’t know whether this whole Josh situation — and Lauri word drawings situation, too — is a direct result of that, but I’m going to pretend that it is because I have little to no influence over anything else in my empty little life.

    Go G.E.M.s!

  10. [re=565866]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: Oh man, YouTube axed the re-subtitled Hitler-Downfall-Rant bits? I’m glad I got to watch several thousand of them before they got yanked.

  11. Bring it, Josh! But when you asked us people with cable (I don’t have cable) to provide tips on your mornings, you might have specified which mornings. Also, never use the first-person voice again.

  12. hey Josh I’m a fellow baltimoron and I’ve missed Cartoon Violence. I can’t wait for your regular morning column. More CV is the cherry on top. Just don’t forget yer roots, hon…

  13. Re: turkey, boar, bull, ram, stallion, etc., masturbation, it’s mostly done by immigrants, so when the Arizona Anti-Immigrant Laws take effect, there’ll be loads of jobs there for fat, lazy, white guys! They already know all about masturbating!

  14. Oh boy! The C.C. is back! Combining my passions for reading comics, and existentialism and continental philosophy, and dick jokes. Like a Kierkegaardian or Sartre-an textual and visual analysis of the soul-sucking ennui which is comix and the political situation in the United States, delivered to my RSS feed to help me get a bright start on the day! And an excuse to hit the bottle before lunch.

Comments are closed.

Previous articleFun European Countries Going Bankrupt; Are The Boring Ones Next?
Next articleRick Perry Kills Desert Beast In Elaborate Manhood Ritual