Major Scoop, for those of us who browse the FoxNews.com Science & Technology section’s Archaeology subsection all day every day: some Mexicans found some wood on a mountain, and it is Noah’s boat, the end.
A group of Chinese and Turkish evangelical explorers say wooden remains they have discovered on Mount Ararat in eastern Turkey are the remains of Noah’s Ark.
The group claims that carbon dating proves the relics are 4,800 years old, meaning they date to around the same time the ark was said to be afloat. Mt. Ararat has long been suspected as the final resting place of the craft by evangelicals and literalists hoping to validate biblical stories.
Yeung Wing-Cheung, from the Noah’s Ark Ministries International research team that made the discovery, said: “It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it.”
Whatever, let’s check out some comments.
- dawnleannette
New MexicoI wonder why we consider ourselves the land of religions freedom but when we believe we are labeled as ignorant, hateful, etc. If you won’t read the bible, could you at least read the constitution?
That’s good enough, coming in at the end of the fight here.
[Fox News]
{ 122 comments }
Doesn’t carbon dating prove that the remains are OLDER THAN THE EARTH?
Ah, evangelical explorers using science makes my head want to explode…
A group of Chinese and Turkish evangelical explorers…
Whoa right there!
Why is Ching Chang-Chong looking for America’s Ark?
“It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it.”
Uhh, I’d like to see their calculations on that.
And “dawnleannette”– now there’s a REAL jesus-loving American for you!
But what happened to all the animals?
In your fucking face, elitist scientists!
[re=565508]chascates[/re]: I’ll believe anything they say.
[re=565512]Sharkey[/re]: Socialismed, most likely.
I love the magical thinking: “The Bible says there was a flood, and there was a flood, so the Bible is true! The Bible mentions Egypt, and Egypt exists, so it must be true!”
Well, I’m told that the firebombing of Dresden actually happened, therefore Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck in time.
A bunch of evangelical ministers certainly are as capable as any properly educated archaeologists.
But um, don’t the creationists like to claim that carbon dating is a lie when confronted with artifacts older than they think the universe is? Their claimed use here is a little hypocritical.
And then they stumbled upon eight tiny reindeer..
Dawn is free to believe in teh G-d, and I’m free to believe she’s a fukking moron. Everybody wins!
[re=565506]Formerly Preferred[/re]: No, no silly. The earth is 6,000 years old. It took mankind a full 1,200 years to master the art of building a giant Carnival cruise ship for wild animals.
[re=565522]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: LOLZ
The group claims that carbon dating proves the relics are 4,800 years old, meaning they date to around the same time the ark was said to be afloat
Noah rounded up all earth’s creatures in a boat just 4,800 years ago today! Plus, Noah is like the great-great-great grandson of Adam, correctly confirming that Earth is 5,500 years old.
Hah, well now you have idiotic religious discussion mixed in with your SCIENCE, China. Welcome to the “modern” world!
To be realistic, though, this can’t really hurt the Chinese science establishment. Fabrication and plagiarism are endemic and pervasive there.
Hasn’t the ark been “found” like 100 times already?
Woohoo! This artifact now joins Jesus’ 700-year-old burial shroud as conclusive proof that the Bible is true.
[re=565512]Sharkey[/re]: The dinosaurs ate them.
I’ve misplaced my copy of On the Origin of Species, can someone ask these guys to please help me find it?
Oh geeze. I’m old enough, and with enough of my memory intact, to know they trot this one out almost exactly every five years. This is getting older and dumber than BatBoy in the World News Daily and the Shroud of Turin, times 40.
[re=565518]JMP[/re]: Carbon dating only lies for things older than the Earth.
And the Shroud of Turin.
Magic all up in this bitch!
While transplanting my tomato seedlings today I discovered a dinosaur skeleton complete with an English saddle and bridle.
[re=565506]Formerly Preferred[/re]: The Earth is much older you silly. Between 6,000 to 10,000 years.
[re=565536]4tehlulz[/re]: haha. beat ya.
explorers find the ark on a turkish mountaintop about every five years or so. you’d think they’d bring it down one of these days. or at least mark it with a sign or something so the next batch won’t be so surprised at “discovering” it.
I bet that wood would make excellent mulch. Isn’t there history that the unicorns were not able to garner passage on this great ship??? Get to it. Find evidence of that fact!!
“It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it.”
Nice math there. I’m convinced.
[re=565535]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You’re 6000 years old?
[re=565532]FMA[/re]: Ahem… Dinosaurs were never alive. 5000 years ago, God put their fossils in the ground so we would have something fun to dig up. I’m mean, god knows what happens when humans get bored.
Dumbasses. The remains are In a cube shape, not rectangular like the ark. It’s obv Gilgamesh’s boat they’ve found.
Did they find the skeletons of the unicorns who drowned in The Flood, too?
I’m surprised Fox “News” even went to the trouble of phrasing that headline in the form of a question. Wang Chung said it’s true, dammit – it must be true!
The lefty naysayers at MS-NBC wanna kick dirt on this great historicobiblical find.
http://tinyurl.com/25otkmq
Wait until the scientists from Regent University check in on this one.
This news received an exclamation point on Drudge but no siren as of yet.
Isn’t the ark locked in a big room somewhere in Washington patrolled by bureaucrats? That might be Gilligan’s boat, not Noah’s.
Next, they’re going to announce that they’ve found the Ark of the Covenant, which has been buried in an American government warehouse for about seventy years now.
[re=565539]weejee[/re]: Once again, the Onion already has a perfect rebuttal to the idiots:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/sumerians-look-on-in-confusion-as-god-creates-worl,2879/
And while I’ve heard some convoluted ways the creationists have twisted things to explain how the Earth is so young when all evidence shows it’s about 4,500,000,000 years old, I’ve never heard them explain how we can see stars and galaxies that are many times further than 6,000 light years away.
Dawn, don’t look at it! Shut your eyes, Dawn! Don’t look at it, no matter what happens!!
I’m 99.9 percent sure the Chinese and Turkish evangelical explorers are full of shit. Besides everyone knows Noah landed his ark on Plymouth Rock so baby Jesus could create the United States and help write the Constitution.
[re=565547]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Or Methuselah’s sauna.
[re=565535]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: i was keyin in when you beat me to it
As a small child in the 70′s, I was shown a “documentary” in Sunday School about the discovery of Noah’s Ark on Mt. Ararat. This is a long con.
[re=565560]Extemporanus[/re]: ..and then her face melts.
[re=565545]Hamster[/re]: I know people who honestly believe that. I had the pleasure of chaperoning a field trip to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History and one of the other chaperones had a little guy telling the whole group this. I’m surprised his parents even let him go.
Some one check if Denny Rehberg has been to Turkey lately…
http://wonkette.com/410791/montana-congressman-bros-crash-boat-into-massive-rocks-the-shore
Did they happen to find John McCain’s Aquasock that he lost that one time?
Fox News also reported they found Jesus’ cumrag in the Himalayas.
[re=565566]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: …and it doesn’t look any different.
Oddly enough the ChristianNewsire.com and CBN.com don’t have mention of this miraculous discovery. And they play golf with God on a weekly basis.
Fox on science and technology seems to be as good as Fox on sex.
Oh, and Fox’s source for the article is the Sun, the UK’s National Enquirer. So yeah, this is a very reliable story.
I will only believe these claims when they’re independently duplicated and confirmed by a team of Page 3 girls.
[re=565543]magic titty[/re]: Impressively precise. Confusion between precision and accuracy is a handy dandy quick IQ gauge, for use in day to day human interaction, I have found. People who show signs of being impressed by this kind of “precision” and take it as proof of accuracy, are too dumb to waste time on.
Because wood *NEVER* rots, even when you leave it exposed to the elements for 4800 years. It was preserved by MAGIC!!!!!
Dumbsh*ts.
Stories about Batboy properly belong under Science and Technology too.
Will this be on the exam?
[re=565530]Joshua Norton[/re]: Yeah… like in 1987… but these guys insist it’s different this time!
[re=565559]JMP[/re]: oh, ye of little faith! it’s quite simple: god made fossils and makes stars and galaxies look far away just to test our faith. are we going to believe in all this so-called evidence which is really the trap of satan, or are we going to believe the revealed word of our lord as it’s given to us in the bible? hmm? which is it going to be?
Oh and our local (southern) ABC affiliate picked it up… I’d love to know what this comment means in English:
“I believe this Ark, if not already found by the people who have claimed it now, will be found. Maybe this will make believers out of some people. I believe that it is on Mt. Aarat and God is showing his people that he does indeed exist for the finding of this and the Shroud of Turin.
Everyone needs to turn to God now in their beliefs because the Bible is fulfilling everyday, and his return to Earth is not far off.
Thank you.”
I have to applaud Bishop Ussher’s attempt to use the newly discovered (well rediscovered in the west) art of the arithmetic and the specific gravity of seawater to calculate the earth’s age at 10,000 years. Some folks have not kept up with more recent advances in dating technology.
[re=565542]jus_wonderin[/re]: [re=565549]Terry[/re]: Proof, with music! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QFvKsvmnfM
[re=565545]Hamster[/re]: LOL. Like the original, and I do mean, original Geo Cache? All without GPS? He is really a God.
Anyone else get a giggle that foxnews.com’s scitech section has a subsection for “Dinosaurs”? Is there any more conclusive evidence that foxnews is run by third graders? Are Dinosaurs really as large a topic as “Archaeology”, “Planet Earth”, and “Wild Nature”? And aren’t some of those just fucking redundant?
[re=565583]slappypaddy[/re]: But what if Satan wrote the bible to try to test our faith and distract us from the one true lord, the noodly appendage of the spaghetti monster?!
Come on–everyone knows that Noah’s Ark is kept in a wooden storage crate in a huge government warehouse filled with other wooden storage crates.
[re=565530]Joshua Norton[/re]: Yeah, didn’t Mr. Spock find it in the 70s?
Until I see fossilized dodo feces on the promenade deck, I shall retain my skepticism.
Best line is at the very end:
Read more at The Sun.
A Murdoch tabloid that makes his Post look scholarly. The Sun’s editors are concerned with the day’s pressing questions:
“Cast YOUR vote on the big issues of the day
• Is Whitney Houston past her prime?
• Would you live in a Tesco ‘mini village’?
• Should West Ham sell everyone but Parker?
• Should 16-year-olds be allowed to watch porn?”
Thank G-d they don’t have an election to worry about or anything like that.
Maybe those rooms were just used to store Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction. Before they were spirited away into Syria. All those camel countries seem the same to me.
A depiction of the Ark was commonly found on matchbook advertisements in England until a few years ago. Naval Architects would call it (her) a rather high-sided double-ender without much sheer.
I’m not convinced. I’ve accepted Spongebob Squarepants as my Lord and Savior.
[re=565591]Redhead[/re]: satan couldn’t do it. the bible contains the tetragrammaton. if satan were to write that, he would himself turn into a dab of sauce dripping from the noodly appendage of the spaghetti monster. this is true! you can read it in the bible, in the book of sweet jane.
[re=565545]Hamster[/re]: It’s like Animal Crossing for libruls!
[re=565509]megs[/re]: So they can pirate the tech and begin to subsume our old-timey religion with a similar repro distributed from Hong Kong, duh. This new religion will only have a Holy Binary, and bread and wine shall be replaced with (high mercury) candy corn and faux Japanese glass bead beverages. This will allow them to offer it to Real Murkins at a lower Tithe rate of 7% on Walmart shelves accross the nation.
[re=565616]slappypaddy[/re]: “tetragrammaton” I ain’t nevah hurd of that there wurd but it sounds furrin to me! Or maybe scientologist… either way, yur a commie heathen cuz that thur wurd ain’t in MAH bible!
There must have been a mess o’ Potamians that drowned back then.
[re=565583]slappypaddy[/re]: Oh ye of misplaced faith. This so-called “Bible” is simply the work of the Nameless Enemy, the Dark Lord and Deceiver, and his master the Dark Power and Great Enemy before him. The Valar created Ardra under the directions of Eru Ilúvatar, with Queen Varda creating the stars, as is told in Ainulindalë, the Music of the Ainur.
It’s a 99.9 percent probability that zombie Jesus would weep at the stupidity of these people, if he actually gave a shit.
“It was a close place. I took it up, and held it in my hand. I was a-trembling, because I’d got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself:
“All right, then, I’ll go to hell”
I sure don’t want to spend eternity among these slack jawed yokels. But I would like to make me some good money off’n em first. I got some ole wood I’m offering on Craigslist as planks from the original Noah’s Ark.
[re=565542]jus_wonderin[/re]: Irish Rovers, c. 1980s
[re=565616]slappypaddy[/re]: After the Spaghetti Monster gets the tetras doesn’t she/he dribble vowels from it’s noodly appendage?
Google searches on this are blocked in China, I hope?
If you want to argue that carbon dating is bullshit that doesnt prove the age of dinosaurs then you sure as hell cant use it to prove the existence of your holy yacht my friends. FAIL.
Doesn’t the Bible, with the Gospel of Ringo, specifically state what is allowed to be carbon dated and what is prohibited?
Haha, the “FoxNews.com Science & Technology section”. It is to laugh.
Yeung Wing-Cheung, who totally believes that his people didn’t already have an advanced civilisation at the exact same time that Noah’s imaginary man in the sky was drowning everything on earth.
[re=565659]jus_wonderin[/re]: yes! for instance, supermodels cannot be carbon dated. they can only be dated by silicate life forms. such is the holy writ of ringo, as given him by our lord and savior, joe from chicago.
There is no reason to doubt that a reasearch team called Noah’s Ark Ministries International has found Noah’s Ark. Much like you can trust International Coalition of Loch Ness Monster Hunters are able to identify Nessie every 10 years.
/everybody wing-cheung tonight
Carbon dating is about the only social life these people have…
[re=565569]nappyduggs[/re]: OK. I laughed, OUT LOUD when I read that commnet, my sharp-toothed lesbian voodoo priestess pal.
What the hell? Every boat I’ve ever had crumbles to fragments in only a few years. So if we apply this practical (and expensive) experience logically then The Flood happened sometime during the Clinton Administration at the earliest.
Oooooh, a camping trip with Chinese and Turkish evangelicals! Sounds like the making of a great movie to me. Harold and Kumar — with sheep!
They lie! I know for a fact that Oral Roberts found the Ark back in 1966
on Turkey Mountain in Tulsa, OK.
[re=565559]JMP[/re]: God-damn The Onion. They consistently write Really Stupid Things that I wish I was clever enough to have thought up.
The Sumarian thing was good. But I liked the one right before it:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/dinosaurs-sadly-extinct-before-invention-of-bazook,2878/
(“Dinosaurs Sadly Extinct Before Invention of Bazooka.”)
God-DAMN them!
:::Grumble:::
[re=565711]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: They’re camping in Montana? Aren’t they afraid of the cybergangstas?
That settles it for me; I’m going to sign up to be an altar boy in Pope Rapey’s church of childfucking. The Bible commands it, right after the flood stuff, I think.
[re=565695]Mr Blifil[/re]: I believe carbon dating is a new service offered by eHarmony.com. Neal Clark Warren, always ahead of the curve.
[re=565597]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Sorry, dodos were still extant when Darwin was around.
If you’re stupid enough to believe this claptrap, I have at least 10 slivers of the Real Cross that Jesus Hung On!! for sale, plus several saints’ bones, including Christopher (never mind that he was disowned by the Catholic Curch abut 30 years ago as a myth). Git your souvenirs here! We also sell get-out-of-hell-free penance cards (also known as plenary indulgences….. ok, I forgot how to spell it).
Sorry, I’m a recovering RC…..
How many times has the Weekly World News discovered the Ark?
Dawnleannette! Marry me!
(um.., do you swallow?)
Dawn. Oh poor, sweet, retarded Dawn. (Sorry Trig)
The Constitution says, somewhere near the beginning of the list of Amendments, that you are allowed to freely practice and express your religious views. And, in the same sentence or pretty darn close, it also says I am allowed to call you a fucking benighted ignoramus for doing so.
[re=565753]zhubajie[/re]: I want them to discover the Ark and have Bat Boy pop out of it so he can be “Found In Ark”.
Oh, they found it again? The criteria are:
1. It’s wooden
2. It’s on Mt. Ararat
3. It’s old.
Now, if there were coprolites embedded, and if it were absolutely gigantic, and if it had no rudder or sail… it would still just be some wood on a mountain.
Even when the people made that movie that other people saw in Sunday school was made, it was a silly thing. Augustine of Hippo in the 5th century was wondering whether anyone should be reading the Ark story literally.
By the way, they’re “ready” for the “science” questions. The logical questions are the ones that are harder. (E.g. Was Noah such a bad builder that, in a post-flood world, he didn’t take the boat apart and use the wood?)
Never mind though: it’s FoxSci. It is a matter of confirming what was already known, not of investigating the unknown.
Poor Bishop Ussher!
Everyone makes fun of him. They made fun of him in his own lifetime, too, but for a different reason. You see, in his own day folks thought what he was doing was just plain silly. It wasn’t that they thought the world was or was not X years old, but they thought that doing that kind of computation was just a wee bit fey.
In other words, Ussher was not a fundamentalist. He was a wonk. (He was a very, very smart guy.) He was ridiculed as an egghead doing impractical things while Europe was in flames. That his computations are a crib sheet for the ignorami is some kind of irony, and not a funny kind.
[re=565577]Prommie[/re]: They say 3 percent of the people use 5 to 6 percent of their brain
97 percent use 3 percent and the rest goes down the drain
I’ll never know which one I am but I’ll bet you my last dime
99 percent think we’re 3 percent 100 percent of the time
64 percent of all the world’s statistics are made up right there on the spot
82.4 percent of people believe ‘em whether they’re accurate statistics or not
I don’t know what you believe but I do know there’s no doubt
I need another double shot of something 90 proof
I got too much to think about
From the pics on the MSNBC webpage, I would have guessed they found Al Capone’s vault again.
First off, this is old, old news. If not before, I know some Russians went to the top of Mt. Ararat and claimed to have found something similar. They brought back splinters of wood from the supposed relic. Amulets or necklaces or somesuch were made and given to the Czarina and her daughters.
Secondly, Chinese and Turkish evangelicals? Nice try, ye from the Orient, but Christian Evangelism is for Americans of iffy backgrounds only!
I know I’m late to this particular party, but this is my personal favorite take on this bible story, courtesy of songwriter Chris Smither: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpNoQaB2LT0
Finding the Ark on a Turkish mountain is old news. Now if they found a Turk on an Arkansas mountain …
LOL @ 4tehlulz
so true. science is real only when they want it to be.
[re=565506]Formerly Preferred[/re]: No, in “Young Earth Creationism” the Earth is usually supposed to be approximately 6,000 years old (Bishop Ussher having dated its creation to 4004 BC). There are a lot of other problems with the report, but the age of the wood versus the age of the Earth is not one of them.
[re=565559]JMP[/re]: I’ve never heard them explain how we can see stars and galaxies that are many times further than 6,000 light years away.
They have two different theories for that. One of them is that the speed of light was very different in the past; the other is that God created the light “in transit” from the more distant stars/galaxies.
[re=565786]Elephants Gerald[/re]: Forgot attribution; “Statistician’s Blues” by Todd Snider.
“It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it.”
“We give it at least a 50% chance of being 99.9″
I am 100% certain they found yet another Bronze Age shithouse in Asia Minor. Woo-hoo.
[re=565946]Tcaalaw[/re]: The speed of light is a liberal hoax. Lightspeed is virtually unlimited for stars and galaxies that don’t have a bunch of bureaucratic regulations invented by European socialists and corrupt third-world politicians to bring down our standard of living.
[re=565573]chascates[/re]: Those 2 groups are planning a telethon to raise money for the ark’s overdue licence tags.
[re=565530]Joshua Norton[/re]: Yep, every few years.
Maybe it goes back in it’s hole after it sees it’s shadow.
HOLD IT!!!!
“Carbon Dating”!?!?!?!?
Evangelicals have written volumes on how carbon dating is a fraud because carbon dating comes to the ridiculous conclusion that the Earth is more than 7000 years old.
I sense a New Age dawning.
By the way, did they find Noah’s birth certificate?
Didn’t I see this on an episode of _In Search of_ about 1978? The one between the Big Foot episode and In Search of Incan Space Aliens.
Wait, wait, wait. If the artifacts are 4,800 years old, that means The Flood happened ca. 2800 BC. That’s around the same time Stonehenge was built and the beginning of Egypt’s Second Dynasty. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28th_century_BC]
Where are the giant bathtub rings from this so called world wide flood?!
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