common street trash

Sarah Palin Goes To Knoxville Court To Continue Destroying 22-Year-Old Who Found Her Yahoo! Password Two Years Ago

Sarah Palin is now using her vast political knowledge and expertise as one of America’s greatest leaders to help brutally prosecute a dumb college student who figured out her incredibly easy e-mail password hint two years ago and uploaded a few screen shots to some web forum leading to a day or two of pranks which meant nothing in the end and probably just boosted her career through faux-victimization, the only weapon in her arsenal; she is awful.

Sarah Palin testified Friday against a 22-year-old man accused of hacking into her e-mail account, saying later it’s up to the judge to decide whether he should serve prison time if convicted.

Palin testified that the hacking compromised one of the main ways she communicated with her family back in Alaska as she campaigned in 2008 as the Republican vice presidential candidate. Outside the courthouse, when asked whether she thought community service was punishment enough rather than prison, she said, “That’s up to the judge.”

Former University of Tennessee student David Kernell faces up to 50 years in federal prison if convicted of identity theft, mail fraud and two other felony charges. His lawyer has called the case a prank, not a crime.

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Asked outside court if she thought the charges against Kernell were excessive, Palin said, “I don’t know, but I do think there should be consequences for bad behavior.”

COMMUNITY SERVICE SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT. In fact an out-of-court settlement of “a few bucks for Willow’s gas money” would be harsh enough. Especially since it was not “hacking” or “mail fraud.” There were no Soviets named “Boris” cracking nuclear launch codes. (Maybe.)

This is really breathtaking in its callousness:

Palin’s husband, Todd, listened as she testified. Their daughter Bristol testified earlier this week that she got harassing calls and text messages after screen shots of e-mail from the account revealed her cell phone number.

A former Palin aide also described receiving vulgar e-mails.

Kernell isn’t accused of the harassment. But prosecutors say he improperly gained access to Palin’s e-mail account in September 2008 by correctly providing her birth date and ZIP code and correctly answering that Wasilla is where she met her husband.

You’d think she’d just be embarrassed. Most humans would!

Indeed, this dumb college student will probably go to jail for 50 years for easily guessing her e-mail password hint using the rare knowledge he acquired reading the first sentence or two of her Wikipedia page. The judge will want to impress her for a lipstick-smooched autographed photo.

Palin Testifies At E-Mail Hacking Trial [NPR]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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95 comments

  1. Anita Cocktail

    Yep, she’s all about consequences for bad behavior. So long as it’s someone else’s kid experiencing the consequences…

  2. chascates

    Poor Bristol! She was all alone in the Alaskan wilderness. Although there was a Secret Service detail outside to protect her at the time this happened.

  3. god.was.stingy

    [re=563112]Anita Cocktail[/re]: To her, babies are consequences for bad behavior. “You damn brat, gettin’ all knocked up, dontcha know, no abarshun fer you.”

  4. Smoke Filled Roommate

    Her clever new Twitter password is ‘password’, which she now writes on her hand for safekeeping.

  5. memzilla

    Wait, wait, what about the freedumb to use your computer the way you want to? Isn’t freedumb what the Tea Klux Klan is always whining about?

  6. queeraselvis v 2.0

    I really feel sorry for the court stenographer who had to transcribe Palin’s word salad of a testimony.

  7. Cape Clod

    “Palin testified that the hacking compromised one of the main ways she communicated with her family back in Alaska as she campaigned in 2008 as the Republican vice presidential candidate.”

    It was my impression that she took her whole foul brood with her when she went on her extended, cross country shopping spree… I’m while she was “Campaigning”.

  8. problemwithcaring

    In her brain, it’s not considered bad behavior to run as the Vice President of the United Sates and still use your birthday as your fucking top secret password.

  9. TakingAmes

    It’s her own damn fault for not being specific enough on her password hint. She met the Toddster in Wasilla? Really? Who coulda guessed? She was the half-governor of a state, fercryinoutloud.

  10. MARCdMan

    I love how absolutely nothing came of the related discovery that she was still conducting state business through her personal e-mail, which she had been warned time and time again was illegal.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    They called her cell phone?! The poor victimized little darling. It’s too bad they didn’t do something milder, that everyone clearly identifies as a prank — like, for instance, putting a urine-soaked bag over her head, alligator clamps on her fingers and making her stand on an MRE box in the middle of a puddle of water and telling her that if she falls off it she’ll get electrocuted. But how those barbarians could viciously call her phone number — well — I’m just — I’m sorry, it just breaks me up. Like what’ll happen to the economy when the dollar tanks and you don’t have any gold. You do have gold as a hedge against the coming tide of anarchy, don’t you? Well let me tell you about Goldline…

  12. Lilybart

    There was a Coast Guard boat on the dead Lake Lucille where the house is, in addition to the swarming Secret service.

    They both LIED a lot and I hope the defense is one of those liberal trial lawyers they hate so much.

  13. JMP

    You may be wrong about the nuclear codes; after all, she was governor of Alaska, America’s first line of defense against the Soviet Uni; er, Russia; and protector against the floating giant head of Putin. Oh, and (ceremonial) commander-in-chief of the Alaska National Guard.

    Why, if this kid stayed hacked into her email and decided to play a game of Global Thermonuclear War, he could have unknowingly ordered the bombs to be launched!

  14. Gorillionaire

    A Yahoo! email account. Sheesh. Teenagers with cell phones are twenty technological generations ahead of this. What else? Does Palin hold up the line at the supermarket while she writes a check for $4.85?

  15. Lilybart

    She used her yahoo account for state business, so technically, it is public record. Woops.

    And she claims that Trig rumors started by this kid’s actions. Uh, NO. I have been following this since day one of her being “tapped” by McVain and this is not true and she should be asked just how that happened. Was there a photo in yahoo with Bristol in the delivery room??? An incriminating email??? She needs to prove these damages she claims.

  16. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    I’m sure there will be consistency in any sentence that is handed down to this prankster and the four young lads that HAHA TRIED TO TAP THE PHONES OF A FUCKING U.S. SENATOR, right? RIGHT?

  17. iwillsavethispatient

    Did the court provide a Learjet to fly her there and a glass of water with a bendy straw, or is this the first thing she’s not done purely for money in living memory?

    Oh, and I’m truly sorry about those phone calls, Bristol.

  18. Lilybart

    Miss Wasilla HACKED into a colleagues computer while on the Oil and Gas board. She stole his password and broke in. She found he was sending emails related to campaigning on gov time, something she does too, but SHE is a SAINT.

  19. ella

    That’s a real Christian attitude girlfriend displayed. I wish I had a fiver for every time she’s proven she’s a Christian only when it suits her and only in name.

    What a fucking phony.

  20. coolcatdaddy

    Was Palin using Yahoo because she couldn’t figure out how to log on to AOL or something? Sheesh…

  21. Chickensmack

    [re=563144]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: I wondered the same thing. How much can a celebrity earn during a court appearance? Most I heard was around $30, but that’s if you’re in the jury box.

    If you’re the defendant, you can earn millions with the right book deal.

  22. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    [re=563153]Chickensmack[/re]: And it really bolsters her victimhood cred, so it’s a real smart investment for her.

  23. nappyduggs

    It’s cool. All this young fella needs to do if he is convicted is appeal to the Supreme Court where they will be like “did the young man steal any money from this *e-mail account*?” and the lawyers will be like “Whaaaaa?” And the justices will be so confused, case dismissed.

  24. 4tehlulz

    >I don’t know, but I do think there should be consequences for bad behavior.

    I agree. This guy should get his own Fox News show too!

  25. JMP

    [re=563147]ella[/re]: Smug superiority, believing that other people have to obey the rules but they don’t apply to you, taking offense at the littlest thing, putting down everyone outside your tribe, willful ignorance; yes, Palin is showing a very pure Christian attitude.

  26. Bordo

    Is Sarah Palin a hypocrite? You betcha!

    It appears no real damage was done, despite the plaintive whines of young Bristol, whose veracity is as challenged as her mommy’s. Given the conservative politics of Tennessee, this kid may indeed be facing real jail time, but if it lets Our Lady of Wasilla grab a few more moments of camera time, well, fuck the kid. He was collateral damage.

  27. slappypaddy

    wait. lemme get this straight. she was asked if she thought community service was punishment enough, and she said, “that’s up to the judge.” she’s leaving it up to the judge to tell her what she thinks?

  28. chaste everywhere

    [re=563144]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: 2 late 4 the apols, lamer. I already sent the dobermans after you. luv, bristol

  29. Fletch42

    [re=563112]Anita Cocktail[/re]:
    Now that you mention it, I do believe I heard something about a young Palin who masterminded the theft of someone’s home for the purposes of underage drinking, destruction of personal property and premarital fornication, although I could be wrong since a hush-hush meeting or two between the Palin monarchy and the police department seems to have made the “consequences for bad behavior” go away for her daughter…but oddly enough not the male members of the group involved. I guess Jesus really does love her best.

  30. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    [re=563172]slappypaddy[/re]: Asking her what she thinks is a trick question.

    Sarah, do you like this? GOTCHA!

  31. iwillsavethispatient

    [re=563173]chaste everywhere[/re]: Oh but Bristol, I wasn’t heavy breathing, I just have asthma!

    Also, you never did tell me what you were wearing.

  32. canadasteve

    I find it fascinating that someone who uses deductive reasoning to gain access to someone’s email account has ‘committed a felony’, but if you guess the PIN number for someone’s ATM card and use it to access their account, it’s the cardholder who is held liable.

  33. SayItWithWookies

    [re=563164]JMP[/re]: That’s not hypocrisy — it’s just exceptionalism at work. You know how the Constitution says The LORD created everyone equal 6,000 years ago at the start of the universe? Well we were created equal, but then some of us became Americans and a very select few became Christian Americans, who are actually incapable of doing wrong. So whatever they do, even if it seems wrong, hypocritical, stupid, out of alignment with anything remotely factual, etc. is okay in the eyes of Jesus. That’s why America, as the Exceptional Nation, doesn’t have to follow any of the rules it sets up for others. Same goes for Christians — they can hack into computers, diddle little boys, steal money and break every law in the books — but they’re following a Plan that’s not revealed to us mere egalitarians, suckling as we are at the teats of Ignorance and Enlightenment Humanism. Our best hope is to follow the meager path set out for us in the hopes of some Heavenly Reward after we’re called to the great broadcast booth in the sky.

  34. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=563183]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Republicans usually read emails butt fuck pages.

  35. RoscoePColtraine

    Excuse me, Madam President, it seems the Russians have hacked into your personal voicemail again. May we suggest something other than “greatest religion on earth” or “husband’s first name” or “state where I quit governing” as password reset prompts?

  36. wilbro

    How did Acorn’s name not come up in this?

    He should have dressed like a pimp and filmed it. Then it’s investigative journalisms.

  37. Mr Blifil

    “I do think there should be consequences for bad behavior.”

    That is two days in a row a post on Wonkett has shorted out my anal microchip. And these were the only clean pants I had!

  38. GOPCrusher

    [re=563183]Suds McKenzie[/re]: It’s harder to send a picture of the front lawn of the White House covered in watermelons on a pager.

  39. glamourdammerung

    Considering that tapping a Senator’s office phone seems to be a minor issue, I am not even sure why they are wasting the time trying this case.

  40. JMP

    [re=563189]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh I know it. Nietzsche described it well as the “good and bad” morality; the view that “we” are good, and therefore by definition any of “our” actions must be good; while “they” are bad, hence “their” actions are automatically bad. It’s morality by tribe, instead of law.

  41. JaneLively

    I can see your password from my house, Governor!
    And come on, people get vulgar email from spambots every day. Or is that just me?

  42. slappypaddy

    [re=563189]SayItWithWookies[/re]: thank you. now i understand. it is time to get drunk.

  43. jagray

    Rough justice if you happen to be among the group of Americans not named Palin or Health.
    Now if you’re lucky enough to be born into that clan then you can take your teenage friends into an empty house for sale and booze it up. When you’re done partying, go ahead and vandalize the place leaving the owners with tens of thousands of dollars in damages. Don’t worry about getting in trouble with the law; in Alaska your mama grizzly IS the law.

  44. Snarkalicious

    [re=563196]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I see what you did there.

    [re=563216]GOPCrusher[/re]: Jebus help us if the conservos ever learn the secrets of ASCII.

  45. bozofish

    Incredible. The whole clan flies down to TN (in a private jet) so they can sit in court and make noise with their bendi straws while slurping Mountain Dew and demanding “justice,” aka just(for)us. Next stop: civil court where they will demand this student become their indentured servant and home school Trig and Prig and Gig until they pass the GRE or the end of the world…whichever comes first. I’m guessing Rapture before graduation.

  46. Ducksworthy

    [re=563189]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thanks for that clarification. I once hire one of these assholes to paint my house. Ripped me off, did a shitty job and then got sanctimonious about it when confronted with his poor performance. Also C Street and Michelle Bachmann who are exempt from the rules. Mark Sanford likened himself to King David, the story he was referring to was when David send a guy off to die in some sort of suicide mission so he could screw his wife and Gawd forgave him because he was exempt from the rules. To quote John Cleese, Waa Awful People.

  47. tombones

    as the guy who (probably) originally posted (purely hypothetical and untested) instructions for gaining access to the former half-governor of alaska’s FUCKING YAHOO.COM EMAIL ACCOUNT i suppose i should feel a bit guilty about this chump, but EH. shoulda used a proxy, kid

  48. snideinplainsight

    When asked what password hint she had used, the Ex-Governor replied “All of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.”

  49. snideinplainsight

    Yahoo isn’t a foreign country where it’s kind of suggested it seems like, wow how could you keep in touch with what the rest of the internet may be thinking and doing, when you email up there in Yahoo. Believe me, Yahoo is like a microcosm of America.

  50. Accordion-o-rama

    [re=563130]GOPCrusher[/re]: They’re just keeping in shape. When you go pro, you got to make it part of your daily routine – like A-rod’s abs crunches.

  51. Katamaran

    But don’t ya unnerstan’. Poor angelic little Sarah is a sad pathetic bunny victim of the big ole eevil librul media that picks on her whenever she doesn’t know stuff or lies or stuff. It makes her sad and stuff. So we have to elect her the first adorable president so she that she’ll smile because she has such a pretty pretty smile. Also and as well.

  52. foulmouthed mrscreant

    I hope the feds are looking into ALL of her accounts and bring her down.
    I wonder how long it takes to investigate a possibly illegal legal defense fund?

  53. Escape Goat Nation

    Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, the actions of this Hacker…this…this MONSTER have caused irreparable psychological damage to America’s Family; The Palin Family.
    The youngest Son, the unique and precious, Trig Palin, has been crying his little eyes out for the last two years!

  54. CanadianBacon

    Boy is it ever going to be fun watching her once she is President.
    Prediction #1- She will be the first President in history to give birth while in office, exactly nine months after election night.
    Prediction #2- She will be forced to annex Canada as she will give birth on Air Force 1 in Canadian airspace while trying to return to Alaska.
    Prediction #3- Vice-President Todd becomes the first VP to win a snowmobile race.

  55. Beachdreamer

    [re=563248]jagray[/re]: or cut the brake lines on over 40 public school buses, must be rough being a Palin kid?

  56. LowerdPeninsula

    Meh. We already knew Palin was a douche, but the guy that did the hacking certainly givers her a run for her money, and I have absolutely no sympathy for people that do this shit. You won’t find too many people who dislike Teh Sarah more than myself, but if she’s stupid, then he’s retarded for tampering with an email account of a fucking vice-presidential candidate during a presidential campaign.

  57. GreenHalo

    Is it just me, or is it kinda fucked up that Twitter in its entirety is going to be archived in the Library of Congress? Password hint: “What word beginning with F describes the retroactive archiving of twats?”

    Rule #1: Any computer connected to the Internet is to be considered compromised in its entirety. Actually that’s a bold-face DoD security rule, but the point stands. Online social networking means assuming the goatse position, period… once again, Caribou Barbie proves she’s Everychick… the difference between her & Paris Hilton and, say, you, is that nobody cares about you. Harsh? Suck it!

  58. S.Luggo

    Die, you perfidious dog.

    — Palin said, “I don’t know, but I do think there should be consequences for bad behavior.” —

    Such as wearing red, Nieman Marcus fuck-me pumps in public.

  59. mgardener

    Palin has ‘fixed’ the system so her 15 year old daughter Willow and her girlfriends will not be named or have ‘consequences’ for their ‘bad behavior’.
    At the end of last year her daughter and her friends were at a party at a house that was for sale(the owner’s moved out.
    The party got out of hand and caused between 20-30 thousand dollars worth of damage + under gae drinking. Palin and her hubby fixed it so the girls will not be charged just the guys.

    She is a vile hypocrite.

  60. jus_wonderin

    Shouldn’t she be in some kitchen…somewhere? (Sorry to all the fantastic Wonkette women, but this one needs to be “otherwise occupied” all the time.)

  61. disgustedcitizen

    Palin said, “I don’t know, but I do think there should be consequences for bad behavior.”

    If the snowbilly grifter really believed that, she and most of her family would voluntarily be in jail right now.

  62. Arcturus

    Does anyone remember the girl like her you probably went to high-school with? What are THEY doing now?

  63. Archivist1000

    Unfortunately, this case isn’t about ‘Did the Palins lie?’ it’s about whether or not this kid hacked (or whatever) into her account.

    Even more unfortunate, this case isn’t about ‘Is a woman who wants to be VP too dumb to protect her email account which may contain sensitive information?’

    Palin preaching about consequences is just one more example of her hypocrisy.

    What we have is: a kid who easily figured out an airhead’s password, and bragged about it on the Internet. What would Yahoo! or Hotmail do if that happened to me or you?? Send us a Cut&Paste email about ‘how to protect your password’ and suggest opening another account. There sure wouldn’t be a COURT TRIAL about it …. but Palin gets another ‘victimhood’ platform!

    On the other hand: we have another kid (her son) who vandalized school buses, putting children at risk .. he gets off by joining the army. It’s hushed up, and CONSEQUENTLY he becomes a ‘hero’.

    Then, we have another little Palin, who just for kicks, participates in the vandalism/trashing of a private home. Mama Bear and Papa Enforcer step in and shift the blame/CONSEQUENCES to someone else.

    CONSEQUENCES …. for anyone but Palins … but, this trial isn’t about that, is it?

  64. Que miras, cabron!

    I just want to know whether the judge required that the prosecutor qualify her as a competent witness, as one would with a child witness, and ask her whether she knew the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie and whether she knows there is a punishment if you tell a lie. Just wondering.

  65. get real

    I was really sick one day, vomiting at one end and unspeakable horrors coming from the other end. All at the same time. I was afraid I was not going to die. I felt so awful I just wanted it all to end.

    That was a good day compared to listening to anything Palin has to say.

  66. Pleasant Days With Joe & Sam

    I’m hoping this is simply the first of many college student sentenced to live out his life in prison for mildly annoying Ms. Palin. You just KNOW he was pallin’ around with other college students! He had to be!

  67. lulzmonger

    Vengeful ex-Governor who used a weak-ass provider for her e-mails & used easy-to-Google clue answers for her “protected” password is vengeful.

  68. moleyghost

    [re=563898]zhubajie[/re]: Jesus, does that mean Todd is Yog-Sothoth? …It’s all starting to make sense…

  69. Eric_T_Duckman

    [re=563918]Beachdreamer[/re]: That blog is only available to “invited readers”. I’m already signed up to too much drek, I’m not signing up for any more, unless it involves free porn!

Comments are closed.