Proving once again that Dick Cheney only likes gay people if their last name is “Cheney,” the evil heart monster emerged from his Northern Virginia abattoir today to endorse Floridian wingnut Marco Rubio’s Senate primary run against Republican Charlie Crist. The Rubio-Teabagger campaign released a statement from Cheney calling Crist — again, the Republican governor of Florida — a common Barack Obama supporter. “Lately it seems Charlie Crist cannot be trusted even to remain a Republican,” Cheney grunted. “I strongly urge him to either stay in the Republican primary or drop out of the race.”
Meanwhile, Rubio is the target of three separate federal investigations by the U.S. Attorney’s office, the FBI and the IRS.
Congressman Kendrick Meek, who happens to be black, is the presumed Democrat who will face Rubio and/or Crist in November — and if it’s Crist vs. Rubio in the general, Meek has the lead. Ha ha, won’t be any racial dynamic to *that* race. [Reuters/AP]
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As a resident of the comical state of Florida, let me just say YOU’RE WELCOME for all the great material.
What is it with Demrat candidates with “wimpy” last names running in “Red” districts or states?
Twinkleberg comes to mind…
I don’t know shit about Meek, but don’t Demrats have candidates who have last names like Buff-Kick-Ass or have nicknames like Scrap Iron or Crash?
When, oh when, is Cheney going to retire to Florida.
That state has room for unlimited comical seniors.
John McCain must be so mad at Cheney right now, stepping on his publicity from yesterday’s Crist hate-fest.
and, I never get tired of Dick Cheney blingees.
how about sexy names like BUSH? -what happened to Jeb by the way? is he hiding out from the
teabaggers? let’s by all means get short macho names in the party- Gore,Bore, Zorro will do.
How does a guy who left office with an appoval rating lower than prostate cancer get off making endorsements?
Back when the story broke about Palin using party funds to buy her family clothes, it seemed she was just an unusual grifter taking advantage of the party. Who knew that illegality was SOP for the GOP?
[re=562029]ManchuCandidate[/re]: or freaky, foreign-sounding names like Wasserman-Schultz — I’m looking at you, Debs!
The racial dynamic will be unique: Black, Brown and Orange.
This won’t end until Crist resists a series of Cheney’s temptations on Mount Quarantania.
Memo to God and Jesus:
Wouldn’t it be a nice jesture to give Mr. Cheney #6 on Earth Day? I promise to donate to the pathological pastor of your choice, if you grant me this one little request – just leave his/her name on my google voice and I’ll ACH the money right away!
[re=562029]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You’re kidding’ me. O-BAM-A!!! POW! KAZOW! BLAM! Didn’t you never watch Batman reruns?
[re=562041]Rosie Scenario[/re]: Crist made few friends with his veto of SB-6, from both sides of the debate; if he runs as an independent, he’s toast.
[re=562041]Rosie Scenario[/re]: VOTE ORANGE! VOTE CRIST!
[re=562045]GoinGreen[/re]: gesture – but since you’re God and Jesus, you already knew that.
Pleeeeez drop out now Jeebus Crist. Please! Do not
Tomdelay. You know these ethics/FBI investumcations of Ruby-o Tuesday will come to nothin’ Plz bail now! Überstatzer Nate Silver promises absolutely that you’ll do no worse than second.[re=562037]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Well, he can help a candidate lock down that all important Republican demographic group: “Caucasians over the age of 49 who have simulated skullfucking a Middle Eastern child using their couch pillow and shortening during the Glen Beck show.”
Can you say ‘Plurality’ boys and girls?
[re=562049]hoosiermama[/re]: as in, orange toast.
No reason for the blingee. Just because he’s scary-repulsive in every way, physically, morally, emotionally, you don’t need to protect us by blingeeing him so attractively. Show his actual evilness!
[re=562052]GoinGreen[/re]: “jesture” is okay, because you know JesusGod likes a good joke.
[re=562029]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Your badass name argument is appealing, but a guy named Gore also had a bit of a rough patch in Florida about ten years back.
So hey, Florida, you get to choose from
- the “Cuban Blagojevich”
- a black guy
- a guy that hugged Obama
Enjoy your hurricane season and your FEMA bailouts.
[re=562029]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Repeat after me: WEINER DINGELL RANGEL FRANK! WEINER DINGELL RANGEL FRANK!
Getting a Cheney endorsement must be what it feels like to wake up with a horse head beside you.
I hope Crist snaps under the pressure and lashes out like a bitchy queen. Announces that looking at Mary Cheney’s ugly mug turned him gay, or says Giuliani was hideous in drag.
[re=562059]hoosiermama[/re]: God: What do you get when you send a 40′ wall of water through a few vacation villages the day after your son’s birthday?
Jesus: I don’t know Dad, what?
God: COMPANY!
Jesus: Good one, Dad… I’ll get the mop.
“Lately it seems Charlie Crist cannot be trusted even to remain a Republican,”
Just like FL, itself.
So whether Republican, Independent or Orange Party, Charlie must be da man.
(This message approved and paid for by the Heterosexual Non-Floridian Coalition for More Amusing Politics.)
They do know that Rubio is under investigation for being fiscally unconservative? Oh, they do? And it matters not?
Hopefully Meek will grow a pair and hammer home the fact that this asshole is all about dismantling SS and Medicare.
“I strongly urge him to either stay in the Republican primary or drop out of the race.”
=
“Stop niggerluvin er else.”
Did Terry Gilliam do that Blingee? Top notch!
If Rubio had to sell his soul for this endorsement, it’s hard to know who got the worse end of the deal.
[re=562041]Rosie Scenario[/re]: Nice job, Babe.
Everything Cheney says makes more sense if you see him as an ED-209 from Robocop.
YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO DROP YOUR PROPOSED INDEPENDENT BID
OK, just don’t shoot me.
10 SECONDS
I dropped it! What are you…!
FAILURE TO COMPLY (shoots Crist)
Hold on…Cheney didn’t say anything when Joementum did his little Idny/Dem two-step. Oh wait…it’s hard to talk when your mouth is filled with Satan’s cock, right “Dick”?
[re=562073]freakishlystrong[/re]: I mean, really. Why doesn’t Rubio call for a Constitutional Amendment banning early bird specials while he’s at it?
I just figured it out. The best way to fix Social Security and Medicare is to exclude any payments to residents of Arizona and Florida. There will be a ten year waiting period on resumption of payments if you move to another state. Your welcome.
[re=562067]GoinGreen[/re]: exactly.
When Rubio had only two federal investigations, Cheney stayed silent, but now that it’s up to three, he’s got Cheney’s undying love.
[re=562058]yellowerdog[/re]: Blingees keep the pixels shifting. Otherwise him image tends to burn holes in your monitor.
To paraphrase Goldwater, every good American should shoot Dick Cheney in the nuts*.
* John Dean says Goldwater wanted christians to kick Jerry Falwell in the nuts, but when the quote was reported, it was toned down to “ass.”
Chuck Todd is wrong. An actual poll the other day showed a 3-way race leaning to Chain Gang Charlie – and that was before the news about the feds investigating Rubio. He will be tarnished by November, “moderates” of both parties will get scared that Meek might actually win, “independent” tag will be appealing, teachers will help CGC b/c he vetoed bill.
Sure Dick, but we’d mostly be interested in hearing from whatever body parts doctors have taken out of your rancid carcass.
Cheney looks jaundiced. Dare we hope for additional organ failures?
“abattoir” ain’t in my Scrabble dictionary.
lame stream media makin up words.
[re=562080]WadISay[/re]: *What* soul?
[re=562041]Rosie Scenario[/re]: Cleveland Browns?
[re=562028]joezoo[/re]: There’s a reason the western corner of the Bermuda Triangle’s anchored in Miami, ya know…
What does sad orange armless Jesus say about Charlie Crist?
[re=562113]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: And like the real Cleveland Browns, in the end, everybody loses.
If Dick Cheney were running the country you can be sure that he’d do to Florida what Pre-Dubya did to Panama — and there’d be Marines surrounding the papal consulate where Crist was holed up, covering his ears from the Metallica that was being blasted at him. Crist might last longer than Noriega did, though — he’s had more experience being holed up in something Papal.
[re=562061]Troubledog[/re]:the “Cuban Blagojevich”
THAT, thank you, is a keeper.
“Marco.” “Rubio!” “Marco.” “Rubio!” glub glub glub glub…
Maybe the meek will inherit Florida, anyway.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Cheney thrives on carnage, Tiger. He consumes, infests, destroys, lives off the death and destruction of other species.
Oh God! I hope this does not mean another Florida trip for his evilness. The smell of brimstone is still lingering when he passed through Tallahassee enroute to killing a bunch of fenced in animals for shits and giggles nearby.
[re=562049]hoosiermama[/re]: Not sure where you are getting your info. SB 6 was given the thumbs down by over 50% of the voters in recent polls. So that is a net positive for Charlie outside of the GOP fruit loops.
[re=562420]Rasvar[/re]: I didn’t say it was a popular bill, but his veto does not signal a sea change for his politics or for teacher support for his re-election. He supported SB-6 before he was against it.
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