Corporations To Liberals: ‘Stop Murdering Us’

  rumors on the internets
  • Two fine young British ladies have taken it upon themselves to make a fun music video in which they spit hot rhymes about Dave Cameron, the Tory-man who is running for the position of Queen. (They also maliciously refer to Cameron as “DC,” which apparently is not an insulting name to call someone in Great Britain?) [The Daily Dish]
  • Did the Pope know that Eric Massa was molesting his staffers? Probably, but the House ethics committee is going to investigate just to make sure! [The Caucus]
  • Larry King is as old as the Internet and nobody really likes him, not even his eighth wife, who is divorcing him hard. [Weekly Standard]
  • Erick Erickson woke up at 5:00 am today because he had an important question for You Democrats, namely, “If Wal-Mart steps on an IED and blows up can we blame you, the commie liberals?” This is a time sensitive question, so please respond to Erick Erickson as soon as possible. [RedState]
  • Matt Taibbi is currently hiding in a cave with Osama bin Laden, and right now they are both watching funny YouTube clips of the NFL draft and Roombas attacking dogs. Matt is scheduled to come out of hiding on Sunday. Quick Goldman Sachs, this is your chance to escape! [Matt Taibbi: True/Slant]
Related

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

41 comments

  1. hoosiermama

    At least your comments are open, Riley! Thank goodness, the comment-train was slowing down on the FB post.

  2. Red Zeppelin

    Oh, I see, it’s like one of those examples from my logic class in college. IF Wal-Mart blows up, THEN maybe I don’t have to see 300-lb women slapping their kids for knocking shit over in the snack aisle.

  3. Mr Blifil

    For longer than the right has been attacking government, the left has been attacking corporations. They have attacked corporate greed, corporate corruption, corporate bribery, corporate slavery, child labor, risky schemes, etc., etc., etc.

    Hah, Erick the Remaindered forgot to leave out the part where he believes corporations don’t actually do that stuff. He goes on to say it’s mean to attack corporations because…lots of private citizens work for those corporations. As usual he is blind to the obverse of his tautology, that every single American lives under the government “the right” takes such delight in attacking, to the point of suggesting secession and dismantling.

    He’s so adorable.

  4. hoosiermama

    Seriously, Erick? When was the last time a dem leader told supporters to “reload” over the injustices at walmarto?

  5. american mutt

    I keep seeing that photo of John Legend in the sidebar and i keep thinking it’s me. Yes, he is my doppleganger.

  6. ArkansasFred

    If you think private, profit-driven corporations and publicly-elected governments are even comparable in any sense, you are an imbecile of the highest order.

  7. ManchuCandidate

    If Walmart did hit an IED, I probably wouldn’t care considering what it has done to manufacturing in North America (like kill it much faster than anyone thought possible.) Much like many of it’s customers, Walmart’s too fat and slow to get out of the way.

  8. WIDTAP

    Erick Erickson: Bravely identifying the moral equivalence of real threats (see this, for example.) with hypothetical threats that he can imagine inside his head.

    Next up on Red State – the evilness of rouge unicorns.

  9. Mr Blifil

    [re=561984]american mutt[/re]: If that’s true you don’t belong here. This site is almost exclusively for people who are too dumb, filthy, repulsive, antisocial, shy or oldz to get laid with anything approaching regularity. So take your hotness elsewhere, unless you’re being ironic, in which case I will FB friend you.

  10. Hello Sunshine

    An insulting name to call someone in Great Britain would be “FuckingToryCunt”, which is exactly what I’d call Mr Cameron if I ever had the pleasure of his company.

    Anyway, he’s yesterday’s man – it’s all about Nick “Jesus” Clegg now.

  11. norbizness

    Every time somebody links to Red State, a developmentally disabled puppy is slam dunked by Gheorghe Muresan on Romanian pay-per-view.

  12. V572625694

    [re=561995]ManchuCandidate[/re]: But, as Hank Hill says as he lobs the batteries he couldn’t resist buying at Megalo Mart, even though he was furious at them for entering the propane market, “You sure get a lot of batteries for three dollars.”

  13. freakishlystrong

    I just deactivated my Facebook, after that last post, I went and checked it, and a bunch of wingnuts had thrown up all over it about the AZ. porno. With “friends” like those, I’d rather just hang with my Wonketts.

  14. JMP

    [re=561996]WIDTAP[/re]: Erick should know that we can have imaginary protection against imaginary threats. So don’t worry about the anti-WalMart terrorists, because we can count on heroes like Superman to stop them (well OK, for RedStaters Lex Luthor is the hero).

  15. GoinGreen

    Erick, you fucking corporate whore! So far, the score is a bazillion to zero in the count of wingnut crazies: (1)killing doctors performing legal procedures (2)flying planes into gov’t buildings (3)dragging black people to their death behing pickup trucks (4) etc…! When was the last time a psycho-treehugger (in America) blew up a corporation’s HQ or killed a goddamned Exxon employee, for Christ sake?! Hell, even Bill Ayers took out targets that would be on a wingnutter’s list – you should all be praising him!!

  16. Edywin

    I have it on good authority that Al Qaeda has explosives wired to conservative computers nation-wide to detonate when the spell check option is selected in their word processing programs. After reading the Red State posts(Socilaists?Please Hugh, call us Commies, that’s what we are you know. It is much easier for you to pronounce and has multiple spellings too),I feel we all can sleep in safety tonight.

  17. shypixel2

    Way to go Erick Erickson.

    Nice job hiding behind “If”. “If” someone blows up a Wal-Mart, “If” someone attacke an Exxon worker.

    These things haven’t happened.

    Now, throwing bricks at windows and cutting propane lines at congress-people’s houses? Doctors killed, clinics bombed? Planes flown into the IRS?

    These things HAVE happened, and continue to happen.

    So on one hand we have concrete realities, acts of violence that were encouraged if not inspired by the heated rhetoric of the right.

    On the other hand, we have hypothetical acts of violence that would be equivilant, “if” they were happening, which they are not.

    ( I would have posted this as a comment on his post, but I refuse to register on Red State, I’m afraid they’ll use my info to round me up and throw me in a re-education camp )

  18. norbizness

    The only thing sadder than linking to RedState is people responding to Erick as if he’s here or something.

  19. ella

    Of all the stories about King’s divorce, only our Riley would find a delicious one mentioning “Creaky and Leaky.” Well done. I’ll never think of King any other way now.

  20. thehelveticascenario

    [re=562004]V572625694[/re]: The important question is, will Chuck Mangione be ok?

  21. rmontcal

    The time stamp of that Redstate post is 5am, which means that he started writing it way earlier, at like 4:58am!

  22. Baldar T Flagass

    [re=562027]norbizness[/re]: “…the demon shell carry a nine-bladed sword!
    Nine-bladed! Not two, or five, or seven, but nine, which he will wield on all wretched sinner-sinners, just like you sir, there! And the horns shall be on the head…”

  23. An Outhouse

    “For longer than the right has been attacking government, the left has been attacking corporations. They have attacked corporate greed, corporate corruption, corporate bribery, corporate slavery, child labor, risky schemes”

    I’m thinking that greed, corruption, bribery, slavery, and child labor were just bad on their own merits. Is Eric defending any of this just because they are practised by corporations? That seems so ideological.

  24. magic titty

    Riley was it with your roving work hours? Can we pin you down to a time of day for these fucking things?

  25. cheeto_jeebus

    [re=562032]weejee[/re]: kudos, i made it in about 10 seconds? all it took was the first bit of singing and i ran.
    I was so disappointed. I was hoping for something more along the lines of the “I eat cannibals” video. But you can’t always get what you want.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTvdjlJUO8A

  26. bureaucrap

    I agree with Eric the Red: We on the left should take responsibility for our bile. For many years I kept thinking about assassinating William McKinley. I waited and waited, and now it’s too late.

  27. Crank Tango

    [re=562076]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: yeah omg, you can keep your “cameron injection” you filthy slappers. I did like that they couldn’t decide whether they were singing or rapping, and I was glad I didn’t wait for the whole thing to buffer.

  28. mustardman

    Matt Taibbi is all out of spunk from non-stop masturbating over the SEC Goldman allegations.

  29. chascates

    It’s usually a right-wing nut who blows things up or murders people for political reasons but Ericks hoping to incite something he can blame on the ‘lefties.’

  30. comicbookguy

    My favorite, what if a lefty threatens a banker, camps outside his house, and generally harasses his family?

    yes, Ewick son of Ewick, that would be beyond the pale. I mean what kind of person would do that? Certainly not law-and-order constitutional conservatives! Noooooooooooo….

Comments are closed.