In honor of the single day each year when we remember that we live on an actual planet and not aboard some weird cruise ship in space full of giant baby-people, America’s politicians will pass comprehensive climate-change legislation and embark upon a grand mission to build a new economy based on renewable energy and sustainable communities bordered and connected by open space and wilderness. Just kidding, they’re not going to do shit. But you go ahead and Love the Earth, just please wear a biodegradable condom. [LA Times/New York Times]- Who knew about Eric Massa humping on all the male congressional staffers, and when did they know it? We are talking about you, Pelosi and Hoyer. [AP]
- Twitter heartthrob Charles Grassley will support Senate Democrats in their effort to try to make sense of the derivatives market. Why does Grassley hate regular America? [Wall Street Journal]
IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA
April 22, 2010
Happy Earth Day, America! (Did You Get Her Something Nice?)
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{ 28 comments }
If you hug a tree, be careful of poison ivy. Also note, microbreweries tend to lean towards more ‘organic’ formulae and philosphies, whatever they are. and…hey…it’s 2010 already! Where’s my flying car??!!
Hey where’s Dick Armey’s Dick Army of old fat dumb mostly white bitters teabagging and waving their guns over the lack of freedumbs?
Shouldn’t they protest for or against (I don’t know I guess it’s up to Dick and his Freedumb Werks to tell them) fizkal regulashuns?
and not aboard some weird cruise ship in space full of giant baby-people
I wonder how many Americans have watched that far into Wall-e, possibly on video while eating 30 terrible Double Down fat sandwiches off of a Freedom Tray, and thought to themselves, “Man, that would be the life.”
Ugh. I think I just threw up in my mouth, a little.
So what is the guess of the crowd size for the Earth Day Rally on Sunday, and also what is the guess that the MSM will completely ignore it and instead focus on the fifteen tea-bagger counter protest?
[re=561872]Edsdesk[/re]: Right here? But, if you can’t wait till next year, how about a nice jetpack in the meantime?
When Wall Street traders can’t cash in on the explosion of their own toxic deals, the terrorists have won.
It was nice of raccoon furry to cover up his boner.
~
Chuck Grassley, the man the banks forgot. They’ll pay dearly for not paying him enough.
I’m enjoying the Earth Day background so much, I turned on all seven computer monitors in my home office and the six computers attached to them just to display Wonkette.
how much u wanna bet that the teabaggers have said/are saying that the ones who are doing any form of protest on Earth day “AMERIKA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT…THE COUNTRY’S FINE …THE GOVERNMENT’S WAY OF HANDLING THINGS ARE FINE…DAMN HIPPIE COMMUNISTS!!!”
Our forefathers did not die fighting the Bolsheviks in the trenches of Normandy just so credit default swaps could be regulated.
I gave the Earth a nice blanket of C02 to keep her warm when she’s cold.
Did Wonkette eat a lot of asparagus last night? That would explain the green Siemens.
I suggest we rename Eath to ‘Wingnut’ in honor of the apes who dominate the place and have “Wingnut Day” in honor of the clowns who voted for BushCo and Reaganegger, setting back progress millions of years.
“…and that’s why, students, we celebrate April 22 as the day an elected ruminant saved the global capitalist system. Questions?”
[re=561877]mumblyjoe[/re]: but it’s a bad hairday!
[re=561899]JMP[/re]: Is today Wonkette drug screening pee in the cup day?
@weejee: Maybe the raccoon is holding litmus paper.
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” — George Carlin
is that Ranger Rick?
Chuck Chuck Bo-Buck
Ba na na na na fo Grassley
Chuck!
still groggy, that’s all I have to say right now
If you are going to get in on with Gaya, I recommend a sheep’s skin condom. It’s not good for preventing STDs, and they are somewhat erratic at preventing pregnancy, but on the plus side they feel like you are fucking a sheep, and this would please Mother Earth.
[re=561899]JMP[/re]: “Conserve water, drink Siemens.”
For Earth Day, I’m having a big barbecue on my campfire! With lots of juicy meat!
But, seriously, to help keep glow-ball warming at bay, I’ll be drinking a nice microbrew, since it has a significant portion of organic (get it?) solvent in it.
As Grassley goes…oh whatever. Lugar will probably support it in the end as well, as he’s still maintaining a modicum of his sanity.
Ken, the Earth is our Mother! You told us to be mother-fuckers with that condom remark. Eww.
For Earth Day, I’m eating McDonald’s and throwing the wrappers in front of Indians.
I know at least one Republican “legislator” that would take his IDF-Wannabe Desert Eagle .50 cal. semi-auto pistol and blow that Raquet-COON right out of his Kenyan Birth Certificate . . . FOR FREEDOM!
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